Writing and Editing Commissions {Temporarily Closed!} - Page 5

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Writing and Editing Commissions {Temporarily Closed!}

#161 :: July 27th, 2010 @ 12:16 PM

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@Knabhe
Good! I'm pleased I could capture him accurately for you! Thank you so much for your requests. I had fun writing for you.

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#162 :: July 27th, 2010 @ 12:19 PM

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YAY! -dances-
if you can do all three it will be super extra mega awesome and you'll be gift-bombed!
and you know I'll atack you in December if you open commissions again, don't you?
just warning you. MUAHAHAHA! >

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#163 :: July 27th, 2010 @ 12:21 PM

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That's great!
I'll probably ask you to write some more stories when you're open again, though. Because I just really love your work =D

#164 :: July 27th, 2010 @ 2:54 PM

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@ first of all love Elanamii's story
Thurio's minion is called Waru
do you want paid for Elanamiis' just now or pay both stories when you have finished Thurio's

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#165 :: July 27th, 2010 @ 4:36 PM

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@Knabhe @fresh
I'll look forward to getting more commissions, then! I'm glad you like my work enough to want to request more.

@Marreshaann
You can pay for both at once. I'm glad the her story worked for you.

I think I was a little unclear. I was wondering what the name is of the orange dog in Thurio's overlay.

It appears to be a minion of some form, but I can't find it when I search SubetaLodge.

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#166 :: July 27th, 2010 @ 4:44 PM

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@ I know what you mean now i thought you meant his actual minion (werekumos)

The one holding his leash is Lil Doo just use that one as I will give it to him instead of the werekumos as it does look better and his name is Waru

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#167 :: July 27th, 2010 @ 4:46 PM

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@Marreshaann
Oh, hrm. That changes my story a bit, since I reference both minions. Give me a couple minutes to make the change, and I'll have it ready for you to look over it.

Edit:

There we go! Please let me know what you think.

Quote:
The water broke suddenly, spraying the lil doo on the beach with a light mist. He glared as two horns followed by brown fur came into view above the water’s surface.

“The temperature’s perfect today, Waru!” the ruffie called to his friend. The lil doo merely glared and set to rubbing a towel to dry his fur.

He flipped his body around and dove back under the water. Thurio loved going to the Omen Islands in order to gather more hydrus items for his expanding collection. Today, the sun was out, the temperature was comfortable, and the water was clear. It was a perfect day for finding more collectables.

Curling under the water, he approached a coral reef, but only to admire it. Such nature was beautiful, but he also knew how long it took to create and how easily it could be destroyed.

He kicked away from the site in a cloud of bubbles and dove further down. When the water settled again, he thought he saw a gleam of brightness inside a cave beneath one of the islands. Thurio made his way through the cave, the shining light acting as a guide. The water leveled out, and he stepped out onto damp land. Moss decorated the floors and stalactites hung from the ceiling, small droplets of water twirling down them every few minutes.

Thurio rubbed his face in awe when he realized what had caused the light. A small hole in the wall let the sun in, and at the right angle, it bounced off dozens pearls sitting snugly inside hydrus clamshells.

What a find!

He reached toward the closest one, mumbling, “This would be great for my collection!” when a screech suddenly echoed around the cavern. The sound was unmistakable. Merana!

Mentally scolding himself for entering Merana’s cave without realizing it, Thurio dove back into the water, the pearl and clamshell left behind, forgotten. He swam as fast as he could, when the sound echoed through the water. She was following him! A flash of scales appeared in front of him for brief second, and his vision failed him.

Finally, Waru was satisfied that his orange hair was dry and fluffy again. He settled down on a towel in the sand, ready for a nap in the bright sun. Just as he closed his eyes, another spray of water landed on him. Leaping upward, ready to glare at Thurio, who he was sure was the cause, he was surprised at the sight in front of him.

A large wave washed the limp body of his friend toward the shore. Waru dove forward to help the creature drag Thurio out of the water, gripping Thurio’s purple collar in his teeth, and once on dry land, Thurio blankly gazed up at him.

“Well, Waru,” his voice cracked and he spit out some water, “I can say with certainty that you shouldn’t try to steal from Merana.”

The lil doo fell to the ground beside Thurio, and they shared a laugh of relief, glad to have survived the wrath of the sea witch.

Last Edit by: twocents 7/27/10 - 4:55:20 pm

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#168 :: July 27th, 2010 @ 6:26 PM

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My mistake I did not realise that you were including Lil Doo in the story along with the werekumos sorry about that would it be too much bother to just put what you had originally.I do love the story though it is brilliant.

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#169 :: July 27th, 2010 @ 6:37 PM

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@Marreshaann
The edits turned out to be easier than I expected! I wrote it yesterday, so for some reason, I had thought I had more scenes with the werekumos and lil doo than I actually had. It was no big deal to make the changes.

I'm glad you like the end result. Lot #4590664 is up for payment! Thanks dear.

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#170 :: July 27th, 2010 @ 6:51 PM

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@ will pay for Narchaz as well thanks

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#171 :: July 27th, 2010 @ 10:52 PM

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I better get an order in then

Username: _Jammin_
Character(s): Puss In Boots He is from the Shrek movies 2, 3 and 4
Wikipedia page on him is here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puss_in_Boots_%28Shrek%29
Format: General short story if possible but if not maybe just a background info type thing.
Word Count: Short but really up to you
Tone/Genre: Any that works well with him.
Other Information: No certain date, plenty of freedom for you
Price: 2 million? (Negotiable because I really have no idea on this one)

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#172 :: July 28th, 2010 @ 7:51 AM

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humans based off the pokemon :3

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#173 :: July 28th, 2010 @ 11:50 AM

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@_Jammin_
I love Puss in Boots! He's so much fun. And, what a great excuse for me rewatch the movies so I can get his voice down right. Yaaaay!

@Jireh
Awesome! Thank you very much.

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#174 :: July 29th, 2010 @ 7:57 AM

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* oh * ohgod ohgod.. gotta get my order in >///< your writing's just amazing! ♥

Username: EM0PENGUiN
Character(s): A pet story for Baine Akuma. --Here's another link c: All the raw basics are listed there ;o I recommend full-viewing~
Format: A general creative story, or if you're feeling creative / ambitious, you could write a poem c:
Word Count: No novels or essays. xD Somewhat short, simple, and succinct c: Enough to tell a story of course.
Tone/Genre: Random, cute, or funny, or a combination ;o Andd.. hmm, well I'd really like the piece to have somewhat to do with how Baine met Keiko xD (Or if you had something else in mind, let me know). A cute story, like maybe something that came out of a Korean-drama, LOL if you've seen any xD
But yeah, you can be as creative as you'd like on it. I prefer comedy rather than sob stories.
It can start off in a dark tone if you'd like, since he's an incubus and comes from a dark background / dreary setting. Just an idea. c:
Other Information: No date and artistic freedom is a plus C';
Baine treats Keiko like she's his real girlfriend; he babies and spoils her xD Baine's girly side reveals itself whenever he's around her.
Price: Does

interest you? c: I'm also willing to pay more if needed.

Thank you! :'D

Last Edit by: User not found (1): EM0PENGUiN 7/29/10 - 7:58:40 am

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#175 :: July 29th, 2010 @ 11:02 AM

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@EM0PENGUiN
Sounds great! I'll jot you down in the list. The item is fine for payment too. Thank you!

Edit:

@Legal
Whew, she was a bit harder than I anticipated! I picked the Reign of Terror for the specific moment that this occurred. (My favorite time to study in history, too, btw. ) I tried to keep sentences short and to the point. I can't say I know what it'd be like to turn into a vampire, so if the interpretation's not what you were seeking, please let me know! I want you to be happy with the end result.

Quote:
What? What happened?

What was I doing? The monarchy that has ruled the great country of France had finally collapsed and rival political factions have been fighting for power. Right. Wait. Why is this relevant?

My head is so fuzzy. Oh, that’s right, la Terreur has resulted in mass executions. Another fight broke out, and I was running away. I think. Maybe I fell and hit my head. Maybe that’s why it hurts so badly.

What, what is that? There’s so much blood on the floor! I think the National Razor has been here.

Ugh, my stomach. A weird mixture of hunger and disgust is battling, and it’s all I can to keep its contents down.

My hands are so pale! How did that happen? I’m trying to recall the night’s events, but my head protests, and pain sears my body.

Where am I? I just want to go home and curl up in bed. I want to sleep until the pain goes away.

A strange song is echoing about this place. It’s paralyzing. I know I’m lying down on dirty roads covered with blood and who knows what else, but I can’t find it in me to care. As the tempo rises and the music swells, my body has finally stopped aching. My stomach has quieted down, and I think I can rest.

In the morning, I’ll figure this out. In the morning.

Last Edit by: twocents 7/29/10 - 6:57:47 pm

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#176 :: July 29th, 2010 @ 8:00 PM

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i am the one who haunts your dreams of mountain sunk below the sea

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oh gosh i am in LOVE

i don't have any issues with it. please set up a trade! (unless you have them up, i didn't see any on the first post)

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#177 :: July 29th, 2010 @ 9:03 PM

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@LEGAL
Yay! I was a little nervous about this one, but I'm glad it met your expectations. Lot #4592343 is up for payment. Thank you!

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#178 :: July 29th, 2010 @ 9:05 PM

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i am the one who haunts your dreams of mountain sunk below the sea

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no, thank you! <33 when you open back up, i'll certainly be back for more

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#179 :: July 29th, 2010 @ 9:12 PM

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Eep! >u< thank you so much! I can't can't to see what you come up with 8D! ♥

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#180 :: July 30th, 2010 @ 10:16 PM

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My apologies to Jireh, fresh and Marreshaann. I know you're all technically ahead of User not found (1): _Jammin_, but I only have Shrek 2 rented for a couple days, and I want to get her story done correctly.

On that note, @_Jammin_, it's done! It's not terribly long, but I wanted to focus on the moment while he's being super cool. (After he does the introduction, he hacks up a hair ball and gets caught by Shrek, which isn't particularly sauve of him.) If you'd like me to make it longer though, or if you'd like any changes to be made, please let me know, dear!

Quote:
The branch creaked with the effort of supporting his small frame, but the possibly danger of it snapping went unnoticed by him. Oval pupils took in the sights of the forest, his sharp mind quickly evaluating each input.

Sources said his target would be passing through here. The king himself had visited his hideout in the backroom of a bar, The Poison Apple, and he had asked for a little problem to be taken care of. The assassin’s interest, however, was not in the reason for the kill, but the payday he could expect at the end.

A loud bray broke the relative silence of the forest, causing some birds to scatter in the air. His orange fur stood on end as the thrill of aggression overwhelmed his senses. Finally. He had been here since 6:30 a.m., unsure of precisely when his target would be passing through.

When the ogre and his pet donkey neared his hiding spot, he leapt down, his thigh-high books making a nice thudding sound on the ground. “Ha ha!” he exclaimed, as he flourished his rapier. “Fear me, if you dare.”

The donkey backed off a bit, worried by the sharp edge of his weapon. The ogre, however, chose to patronize him. “Come here, little kitty,” he said over and over, gesturing with open arms and a grin.

He pulled off his cape and threw it to the side. It would only get in the way for what he was about to do. Sticking his rapier into the ground, he bent over, and with a loud hiss, leapt out of his hat and boots. Diving forward, his sharp claws extending, he attacked the ogre’s leg and back, while he howled in pain.

When the ogre’s imbecile for a pet kicked the ogre in his attempt to scare the cat off, the assassin easily dove out of the way and redressed.

“Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from,” he paused dramatically and looked out from underneath his black cap’s wide brim, “Puss… in Boots.”

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#181 :: July 30th, 2010 @ 10:38 PM

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That is perfect, Thanks!!

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#182 :: July 30th, 2010 @ 10:40 PM

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@_Jammin_
Yay! I had a lot of fun with it. What a great fan pet. I can't wait to see him win the spotlight!
Lot #4592975 is up for payment. Thanks dear!

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#183 :: August 1st, 2010 @ 10:44 PM

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@ no problem in waiting it is worth it.

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#184 :: August 2nd, 2010 @ 8:34 PM

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@Marreshaann
I generally try to go in order, but it just wasn't feasible this time, unless I hurried through everyone else's commissions, or unless I tried to work on hers from memory. And I want to do the best I can for everyone. I appreciate you being so understanding!

@Jireh
Hey, dear! I'm starting work on your story now, and in regards to the names, I was wondering: are you wanting to make these two characters into Subeta pets? If that's the case, then I'll look for names that are untaken. (I like unusual names too.) Please let me know!

Last Edit by: twocents 8/02/10 - 8:35:20 pm

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#185 :: August 3rd, 2010 @ 6:29 AM

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yup

in fact, they're already pets :O -pokes ashachu and mimirol-

horrible names, i know -__-

but even then, i would still appreciate it if you found them untaken names :3 i might kill those two and replace them with different named pets of the same species >

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#186 :: August 3rd, 2010 @ 12:14 PM

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@Jireh
Haha, I'll see what I can do for you! :* Thanks dear. I have to go to work in a bit, but I should be able to finish up the story tonight.

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#187 :: August 4th, 2010 @ 2:38 AM

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sounds good

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#188 :: August 4th, 2010 @ 12:01 PM

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#189 :: August 5th, 2010 @ 3:02 AM

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@Jireh
Sorry about the delay! My inspiration went and hid under my bed, but I wrangled it back into submission just for you. :*

I picked the named Arlea and Faramund for the characters, both of which are untaken. I like picking names based on their meaning, to have that extra layer that relates to the character. With that in mind, Arlea means "hare meadow," while Faramund means "thunder." You can change the names in the story to suit you, though.

And if weird characters are showing up, you may need to switch to web1.subeta.net or web3.subeta.net to get everything to appear correctly.

Otherwise, please let me know if anything is unsatisfactory!

Quote:
Tucking tan legs underneath her fluffy white skirt, Arlea enjoyed the music of nature as she worked on bringing a picture alive with needle and thread.

The bird's song was disrupted when a group of young men decided to come crashing through the park. Pulling the thread tightly, she finished the border on the picture. As she groped into her sewing kit for some more thread, she noticed one of the men.

His shaggy blond hair framed his face nicely, particularly when a wide smile graced his features, showing off white teeth and dimples. His brown eyes shown in delight, and Arlea noticed that he was explaining to the others the game they were going to play in the park. Hearing the word, "Pikachu," Arlea recognized the character out of the anime "Pokémon." Feeling inspired, she pulled a yellow thread through her needle, and began to work.

As she sewed, slender fingers guiding the thread, she overheard bits and snippets of the boys' conversation. The blond-haired one was Faramund, and he went to the same school she did, though she didn't recall seeing him around the campus before.

She whipped out a pair of scissors and cut the picture out of the fabric. When she was done, she found where the boys had dropped their backpacks, and was fairly certain the black bag was his. On the front, she pinned her creation, and left the area to find another spot to sit and observe.

~*~

Faramund bent over, out of breath, before letting out an easy laugh, and waving good-bye to his friends. It had been a great day at the park, and he had enjoyed running around all day, not worrying about school or work or life in general.

When he reached down to gather his shoulder bag, though, he noticed an odd bit of fabric clinging to the front. Squatting on the ground, he tried to make out the light colors in the fading light of the day. He ran a thumb over the fabric and recognized the shape. Pikachu! But who...?

He glanced around the park to see who would have pinned the sewn image of one of his favorite Pokémon, turning around a few times before scratching his head in confusion and giving up.

Off on a park bench about 50 yards away from him, Arlea smiled to herself, amused by his reaction.

~*~

A week passed before Arlea spotted Faramund at the park again, still with his group of friends. Apparently, she mentally noted, he only came to the park on Saturdays.

This time, she came prepared. She had enjoyed his apparent delight and confusion at her spontaneous gift, and decided to make another one, just to see how long it'd take him to realize who was making them. This time, she selected a brown thread and set to work.

By late afternoon, she had finished, and followed the same procedure as last time. She snipped the image out of the fabric, making sure the edges were straight, before pinning it to the boy's bag next to the Pikachu she'd previously made. Straightening up, she ran a hand through her hair, attempting to look casual. She gathered her things, and skipped off to another area in the park.

~*~

They were in the middle of a great battle, Faramund just about ready to show off one of his greatest captured Pokémon, when a friend nudged him at the elbow. "Not now!" he said, though not unkindly.

"Okay, man, but I thought you'd want to know, that girl was messing with your bag earlier." His friend pointed toward the girl, who was sitting on a park bench stringing beads together. Her high cheekbones created a distinctive facial shape, and were nicely set below her almond-colored eyes. She was paying them no mind while she focused on her task, her feet swinging absentmindedly, occasionally scraping the ground and kicking up some dust.

"Thanks for telling me. Take my place for a moment, will you?" Faramund nodded toward the boy before jogging off toward his bag. This time, there was a picture of a Buneary posed as if she was about to dance. Next to the Pikachu, it looked almost as if the Pikachu was chasing after her.

Smiling to himself, Faramund came up with a brilliant plan. He headed over toward the girl, and held out his hand. When she finally noticed, he inhaled, ready to deliver the most awesome pick-up line ever known to mankind.

"Hello," he said. "My name is Faramund."

She smiled up at him, and took his hand. "Arlea."

Last Edit by: twocents 8/05/10 - 11:37:58 am

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#190 :: August 5th, 2010 @ 9:36 AM

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zomg :3 I love this story so much! it gave me the goosebumps! not only that, the names are perfect! and it gave me ideas on what CIs I need for them!

I'm so excited! It's a shame that you're closing down your shop for the moment

but i'm glad i was able to request a story just in time

it's perfect, and i'm definitely putting this in their profiles!

where do i pay?

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#191 :: August 5th, 2010 @ 11:41 AM

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@Jireh
I'm glad you liked it! I also checked this morning, and some of the special characters had been changed to weird symbols even when viewing on web1.subeta.net, so I fixed that in the story. (Not sure how it appeared to you, but I wanted to let you know that I took care of it.)

I'm hoping to be open again soon, but I need to take care of a few things before the new semester starts. Glad you liked my work, and I hope I can write again for you soon!

Lot #4596495 is up for payment. Thank you!

Edit:

@fresh
GAH, how did this much time pass? I'm so sorry about the delay. But I come bearing a story, and that makes up for things, yes?

I wrote Hugga Bear's first, so I hope you don't mind me going out of order. Let me know if you'd like anything to be changed!

Quote:
Poko ducked down into bed, trying to escape the morning sun’s rays. Eventually, they creeped so thoroughly between the blinds, that he had no choice but to yawn and greet the day.

He scratched his plush ears and opened wide, glass, gray eyes. As he rolled out of bed, he glanced into the mirror and noticed his stuffing was disproportionally distributed around his belly. He pushed on the sides of his belly, forcing the stuffing to even itself out.

These days, due to his plush appearance and childish tendencies, Poko was more commonly known as Hugga Bear.

In the past, he had been a normal bear, who enjoyed playing in the outdoors. One fine Tuesday, he recalled, the sun had glinted sharply off some glass windows in a town situated just below his forest. Excited by the bright lights, he had scooted down the hill until he reached their source. A new shop had opened up in town, and in the windows, the owner had displayed the most wonderful teddy bear plushies!

Taken in by their shiny buttons, ever smiling faces, and fine stitching, Poko had opened the door to the toy store. He turned the corner immediately, and hugged the closest plushies. The soft yellow fleece felt wonderful against his body, and Poko hadn’t noticed how bits and pieces of it had been left behind in his fur.

He made his way through the store, picking up a Valentines Day teddy bear here and a pink kissed bear plushie there. Each time he hugged the teddy bear close to his body, and when he put the well-hugged plushie back on the shelf, it would leave a parting gift of stuffing, thread, or fleece.

Poko wasn’t sure how long he spent in the store, but the store owner eventually came out of the back of the shop and scared the bear away.

He remembered running back up to the hill, and after the exertion of the run and the pleasure of the discovery of plushies, he had fallen fast asleep under the shade of a large oak tree, where the sun peeked through just enough to warm his fur.

When he woke back up, maybe an hour later, he had leaned forward to scratch the bottom of his right foot, suspecting that an insect had tickled him during his sleep.

However, as he had stretched his paw forward, his elbow had snagged on a branch and a smart ripping sound rang through the forest. Poko blinked in surprise. Fur doesn’t rip. He turned this way and that to try to see it, but he couldn’t get a good view.

Or was it fur? Now that he thought about it, his fur looked different from normal, but his nerves felt dulled, and he couldn’t quite put his paw on what was off.

But if something was ripped, perhaps the toy store owner could fix it! He lumbered down the hill, back to the store located in town.

It was late afternoon now, about 5 p.m. he figured, and kids were dragging their parents to the new store. “Look, Mom!” a small blond-haired girl said. “It’s a giant hugga bear!” She had run forward and thrust her face into his soft belly. “Heehee,” she giggled. “Your fleece is ticklish. Can we keep him, Mom? Can we? Can we?”

Poko was baffled. But he took a closer look at his limbs, and by golly, they did seem to be made of fleece instead of fur after all! He stepped away from the girl, who was currently on reason number seven as to why she should get to keep the hugga bear, and peered into the reflective windows. His eyes seemed to be made of glass, and on his ears, he could make out just the thinnest line of dark brown stitching.

The store owner, a hunched old man, knocked on the other side of the glass, startling Poko. He welcomed the fuzzy teddy bear back into the store, and had fixed the rip in his elbow for him, thus completing the perfect transformation of Poko to Hugga Bear.

Last Edit by: twocents 8/13/10 - 6:30:35 pm

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#192 :: August 13th, 2010 @ 7:24 PM

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when I saw the ping I said "OH MY GODDESS!!1" xD
I really really love the story! The way you used the name Hugga Bear is really awesome! Now it doesn't look creepy :'D
Like always, nothing need to be changed.. it's perfect! <33

I really don't mind about the delay, nor the order..
do you want me to pay now or all together? ^^

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#193 :: August 13th, 2010 @ 7:44 PM

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@fresh
Yay, I'm glad you like it! You can pay for all three together. I'm hoping to crank out the other two within the next couple of days, just so you know.

Edit:

Finished Oishii's. I made a point to reference your lovely CIs and minion. I realize it's not exactly a comedy, but it seemed forced when I tried to include intentionally funny moments. So I thought it'd work better just to highlight his personality. If you'd like me to make any changes, please let me know. Responses might be a bit delayed, though, as I'm working on Stephen Brennan's biography now.

Quote:
Slurping an escaping ramen noodle into his mouth, Oishii yelled out orders through a mouthful of food. “Grmph, dun le’ da ‘tir fry bern.”

After reassuring himself that the cooks had understood the message, Oishii flitted out of the kitchen, fanning himself with a fan modeled after the Japanese flag. Bouncing around the floor was his dearest pet, Arroz. Arroz looked faintly like a rice ball, pure white and round with beady black eyes. Oishii wasn’t sure which species Arroz was supposed to be, but he figured that anything that looks like food had to have a good soul.

He picked up a decorative orange soup cup, which had been filled to the brim with a steaming noodle soup by some generous cook. Oishii stirred the chopsticks thoughtfully. It was early morning, so his customers were still working through their morning routines, before they’d come by his food store and eat their fill of various onigiri.

“Hey, Chef!” he called back to the kitchen, pausing a moment to let the man poke his head out the door. “Let’s fill the morning’s onigiri with salted salmon!” He hummed pleasantly to himself, imaging the rice and salmon combination sliding deliciously down his throat.

He finished off his cup of noodles before banging open the wooden doors to his restaurant. “Welcome! Welcome!” he called out cheerfully, a lazy, wide grin situating itself comfortably across his face. “Oishii has your stomach’s desires! Delicious onigiri filled with salted salmon! Also serving onigiri filled with umeboshi for the young ‘uns and kombu for the more adventurous folks! Come in! Come in!”

Oishii smiled at each passing individual, waving them in, and letting his fan encourage the scents of the kitchen out. Whenever someone would make eye contact, his smile would widen, and his voice would rise. “Come in! Come in! Uncle Oishii has breakfast all ready for you! Ah, I hear your stomach rumbling! It’s trying to tell you that it wants to eat some ramen noodle soup, today served in a fish-based broth!”

Gradually, his usual customers, and those too meek to deny Oishii’s encouraging words, filtered into the shop, crowding around the small tables. Satisfied with the fullness of his shop, Oishii wandered back into the kitchen, gathering up many plates to deliver to the hungry customers. When he reentered the dining room with enough food to serve seven tables, those lucky seven cheered while others’ mouths watered at the wonderful scents.

Glancing up toward the windows, Oishii noticed curious individuals peeking in, trying to catch a glimpse of what was causing so much racket. His smile widened, and he called out to them, “Come in! Come in!” And in true fashion of the character of his shop, his customers added a second cheer. “Come in! Come in! Oishii is serving today!”

Edit:

@fresh
And I finished Stephen Brennan's story. I'll post it once you comment about Oishii's, as I prefer to keep only one story per post. It keeps things a little more orderly in my opinion.

@Marreshaann
As a heads-up, I'll be starting on your stories next. Do you care if I go out of order?

@EM0PENGUiN
And a little update for you: I know I've been slow as hell, but I have only Marreshaan's three stories before you. I've been feeling pretty motivated these last couple of days, so I hope to have your story within the next week.

Last Edit by: twocents 8/14/10 - 11:00:18 pm

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#194 :: August 14th, 2010 @ 11:12 PM

is SO Emo!

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It's ohkay, no problem! :'D Take your time, really ♥ I understand writing takes a while xD
Thank you so much for the update~ * you *

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#195 :: August 15th, 2010 @ 11:37 AM

is SO Emo!

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"but he figured that anything that looks like food had to have a good soul"
I loled so bad there xDD
LOVE IT! THANKS! ♥
yay! Oishii has a story now 8D

and OMG! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! <3

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#196 :: August 15th, 2010 @ 4:10 PM

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@fresh
Haha, I'm glad you like it! And for your final story, here is Stephen Brennan's biography! As usual, please let me know if you'd like anything to be changed.

Quote:
Stephan Brennan had known he wanted to be a fashion designer since he was young. When the dream came true in his early twenties, he celebrated by eating a bar of chocolate and putting on a bright green jacket, a favorite from his first collection that was aptly called Stephen Brennan Bold.

The review of his collection came out the next day, and it included two scathing remarks from the well-known Esmerelda and Mattieu. He had crumpled the newspaper in a silent fury before munching thoughtfully on a piece of dark chocolate. As the rich cocoa flavor melted across his tongue, he carefully considered his options, and chose to write a scathing letter to the two elite clothing sellers.

He knew his work was stunning. You could see teens and young adults decked out in his jeans, tennis shoes, scarves, shirts, and other accessories in every shopping mall and street. And where there weren’t people wearing his clothes, you could often find a group of them pressing their noses against store windows, desperately eying the clothing that held a smart “Stephen Brennan” label.

The fury in his letter to the two store owners, wherein he pointed out that he didn’t have the advantage of simply buying the works of others in order to become successful, was so eloquently written that they wrote him back an apology later that same week. The newspaper even retracted their comments, apologizing for mistakenly taking Esmerelda’s and Mattieu’s words “out of context.”

This was yet another success on his part that was celebrated with the purchase of a pair of sunglasses out of his collection and a white chocolate candy bar.

The following spring, his second collection was released: Stephen Brennan Sports. It featured a series of shirts, hats, shoes, and pants for the casual sports-goers. It was not intended to be athletic in nature, but rather, to capture the colors and feel of a rousing sporting event. Due to its appeal to average sports-goers, it was an astounding success, selling more than his first line and even generating more profits than some older designers, who previously held a strong grip on the majority of the fashion market.

By the fall, his line hadn’t stopped selling, and indeed, the interest in Stephen Brennan Sports reignited interest in his first line. He had essentially taken over the teenage and young adult market to the point that one famed fashion designer, who, out of courtesy for her embarrassment, shall remained nameless, called the young Stephen Brennan to request that they work together on a line for the winter season. Partially motivated by a desire to mock her and partially a result of his own unwillingness to ever rely on others, Stephen Brennan released another collection independently around Fireside.

He titled the collection “Stephen Brennan Shoppe,” and it utilized the rich colors of his favorite foods. The jackets were a dark brown like the color of the tastiest chocolate; the scarves a rich cream like chai tea made with milk and sugar; the boots a daring red, as if a dash of spice had been added.

The marketing campaign called it a look for the bold and creative, and as Stephen Brennan sat down in his office twirling his new scarf out of the latest collection, he noted that the streets were filled with people wearing his new items. Clearing, the marketing campaign worked; it had been a good idea to go in a different direction compared to his previous collections and to market it as such. A wider audience was drawn into him with Stephen Brennan Shoppe, and business men and women began wearing the jackets, trousers, and boots offered. The mellower colors appealed to the more conservative, while still allowing them to remain fashion-forward consumers.

Though a fourth collection has yet to be released, one can be sure that Stephen Brennan is probably relaxing in his condo, contemplating what brilliant new styles the world needs.

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#197 :: August 15th, 2010 @ 4:34 PM

is SO Emo!

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as always is perfect!! ^^
thanks a lot for writting for me, you are so talented!

set up a trade and I'll pay ASAP.

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#198 :: August 15th, 2010 @ 4:36 PM

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@fresh
Yay, I'm glad they all worked out for you. Thank you for commissioning me. It's was fun to write for you.

Lot #4606422 is up for payment. Thank you again!

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#199 :: August 16th, 2010 @ 12:46 PM

is a Skilled Hooker

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@ that is no problem hun worth waiting for.

Dance with Marreshaann

#200 :: August 17th, 2010 @ 3:17 PM

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@Marreshaann
I finished Tamarra's story. If there's anything you'd like changed, please let me know. Otherwise, you can pay me on lot #4608157.

Quote:
The sun was hot and glaring, and the excavation was encouraging far too much dust up in the air. Her skin was flush with sweat, which gave the dust something to cling to. Wiping the back of her left hand across her face, Tamarra stood up for a minute to relax.

They were out in the desert, and had been for about three days now. She had never been so excited about working before!

In the past several years, she had done her own treasure hunting and had collected a wide variety of relics. However, Egypt was quite particular about who was allowed to come into its land. In her undergraduate studies, she had loved learning about the Egyptians, and so desperately wanted to really get out in the world and hunt down ancient relics. In order to make that dream happen, she signed up on a dig with her old university, and now, finally, here she was, standing in Egypt’s sandy lands.

However, the hunt wasn’t going well. They hadn’t found anything of interest in the past few days, and excavation leader wondered if the area had been picked over by thieves. Tamarra was still enjoying the search, but she could tell that the boss was worried. If they didn’t find something soon, the university might revoke their funding and cancel the excavation.

They continued working throughout the rest of the day, but just like the previous days, the search proved fruitless. That night, they bunkered down into tents set up around the excavation site. Exhausted by the work, Tamarra climbed into her sleeping bag and fell into a dreamless sleep.

The sounds of rhythmically beating hooves woke Tamarra up. Cautiously, she peeked out of her tent, trying to keep as much of her body hidden behind the tent flap. A group of people were riding through on horses. Every one of them was quiet, and scouring the ground carefully as they passed through the site.

The thieves! Apparently, the excavation leader had been right about the area being raided. She watched them silently, as she was sure they were armed, and she daren’t make a sound.

Eventually, they seemed to give up, and as the sun began to rise, they scattered quickly back into the desert.

When she was sure they had gone, she gathered her tools and went over to the area where they had been looking. If they were willing to come back to this place where a full crew was sleeping, surely, they must have left something valuable behind.

An hour passed. Then two. The others were waking up, and she barely managed to nod out an acknowledgement to their “good morning!”

Digging a little deeper, her tools made a sharp “cling!” sound. Putting them away, she dug with her hands, making sure not to damage whatever lay here. It didn’t take much effort before she scooped the jar out of the sand.

It was a dark gray, and looked like it was made of painted clay, though of course it would require closer examination. Faint scratches showed writing on the jar, and she consulted a small dictionary to decipher what it said. “Heart.”

A wide smile came to her face as she realized what this meant.

“Sir!” she called out, waving her free hand. “I found something.” The excavation leader rushed over, and so did many of the others, and he realized the value of the find.

Amidst their praises, Tamarra nodded to herself, bubbling inward with pleasure. The excavation would continue to receive funding, and she would have many more days to enjoy the Egyptian sands.

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