Writing and Editing Commissions {Temporarily Closed!} - Page 8

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Writing and Editing Commissions {Temporarily Closed!}

#281 :: November 8th, 2010 @ 3:23 PM

has LOTS of clothes

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Username: _Jammin_
Character(s): Sucker His link http://www.subeta.net/petinfo.php?petid=736075
Format: General Short story
Word Count: I like the fairly short ones
Tone/Genre: Fantasy type
Other Information: I am drawing a blank with this pets story,lol! I know I want him to be an underwater pet(he is a hydrus aeanoid). I want him to be gullible because his name is Sucker after all. Other than that I really do not know what I want done with him. He does not have an overlay and his TC can be modified if necessary so basically you are free to work with him however you want. Thanks hon!

Todays Daily Item is

Formerly known as _Jammin_.

#282 :: November 8th, 2010 @ 3:27 PM

the Snowman

8,601 Posts
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@_Jammin_
Got him added! Thanks dear!

Edit:

@Marreshaann
Ajanis's story is done. Please let me know if anything is unsatisfactory. If it is okay, I have lot #4696587 up for payment.

Quote:
Taking a quick breather, Ajanis paused just inside the cave entrance for a few moments, allowing his eyes to adjust to the sudden gloom.

The young adventurer and his loyal friend, Hounddog, had followed the directions outlined in an old journal and set of maps Ajanis had bought off a merchant a month ago. Most of the pages in the journal were garbage to be ignored – the ramblings of its writer with doodles and sketches that had nothing to do with the rest of the content. Ajanis had to spend a couple weeks sifting through the journal just to find the relevant information.

The work, though, should be well worth it. Hounddog, a member of the rare breed Skelihaund, was getting excited, which he only did when the smell of gold, silver, and other rare metals hung heavy in the air.

Now that Ajanis could make out the cave, Hounddog and he pushed forward. They had traveled a long way to get here. It was an unmarked location in the forests south of Veta, and the region was absolutely pristine. Traveling this far hadn’t been easy for the pair, but they hadn’t encountered any other individuals lurking about. The area simply wasn’t frequently traveled through.

“Whoa!” Ajanis’s deep voice rumbled out suddenly. The path had unexpectedly narrowed, and his paw had slipped on the edge. He managed to steady himself quickly, but frowned at the lack of echo from the pebbles that had tipped over the path. The fact that he hadn’t heard a splash or other indicator of the pebbles meeting the ground meant that the cave went deeper underground than it initially had appeared to.

A frown crept across his face. The journal had described the cave in great detail, but somehow, the writer apparently forgot that half the ledge disappeared? Ajanis highly doubted that. The writing was certainly disjointed and difficult to follow, but that was to be expected when the writing outlined the location of treasure. Ajanis was sure that the journalist must have left out the information about the ledge on purpose.

Regardless, this sort of trap was rather mundane compared to previous adventures. Hounddog simply skipped past Ajanis and led the way. With his smaller build, he would be able to navigate the path more easily, and with his bright red tail, it would be easy for Ajanis to keep track of him and follow.

The going was slow and laborious. The path narrowed and widened at random intervals, and the ceiling slowly got lower and lower. Eventually, Ajanis was forced to get on all four paws and crawl, his paws skidding for traction when the path suddenly sloped steeply down. As he slid down, he realized the path was no longer made naturally of rock, as there was no way natural rock would be this slippery.

Water from the floor began soaking through his clothing, and his quick reflexes moved him to use his whip to latch around rock that protruded out from the wall. His sturdy whip stopped him suddenly and halted his decline.

“Hounddog?” he called out, trying to find his friend. No answer.

Ajanis sighed and took stock of his surroundings. Below him was the floor made of shiny, black, glass tile. No wonder he had fallen down it. Down the path, he could see water lapping up at the tile, so there was a pool down there. He couldn’t see far into the water, and he mentally thanked his quick reflexes for stopping him. It wouldn’t have been good to plunge into water of unknown depth and unknown inhabitants. Since he still couldn’t see Hounddog, though, Ajanis figured he must have fallen into the water.

To his left and right were walls made of the cave’s rock. If he let go of his whip, he could probably touch each wall at the same time. There were no other noticeable entrances or walkways.

Ajanis tugged sharply on his whip, making sure it would hold his weight. Once he felt confident that it was latched firmly to the wall and wouldn’t work its way loose, he wrapped it around his left paw. Using that as leverage, he slowly pulled himself up until he was standing again, the ceiling in this area high enough to allow him to stand. He reached out with his right paw and felt along the wall, which was solid enough.

Sidling along, he worked slowly down toward the pool of water. As he prepared to readjust the rock his whip was attached to, he caught a different perspective of the rock wall to his left. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the side of the wall. It only seemed solid! If he peered closely, he could see a gap in the wall that led to, at the very least, a small ledge.

Carefully, he switched his paws around, so his whip was now firmly in his right paw instead of his left. He moved over to the other wall, and pulled himself up on ledge, loosening his whip from its secure place at the same time.

Ajanis glanced around, and noted the small damp pawprints heading down a hidden corridor to his left. He mentally hoped that they belonged to Hounddog, but proceeded with caution.

Without his friend’s bright red tail to guide him, he stepped slowly and carefully, making sure that there were no hidden traps and attempting to limit the amount of noise his pawsteps made. After a few minutes of trekking, he noticed a soft glimmer of light up around a corner. Ajanis tightened the whip in his hand, prepared to use it as a weapon, and crept forward step by step.

As he turned the corner, a soft gasp left his mouth and his eyes widened. Hounddog came bounding toward him, and Ajanis held him close to his chest as they both admired the treasure sprawling out in front of them.

In his long career of treasure hunting, this was Ajanis’s ultimate find.

Last Edit by: twocents 11/09/10 - 8:03:23 pm

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#283 :: November 9th, 2010 @ 9:57 PM

is a Skilled Hooker

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@ Brilliant I love it. Thanks you for writing wonderful stories for my pets.

Dance with Marreshaann

#284 :: November 14th, 2010 @ 10:12 PM

the Snowman

8,601 Posts
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@Mourning
I finished your request. Please let me know if you'd like any changes to be made. If you're happy with the result, you can pay on lot 4700816.

Quote:
I have lost all sense of time. It is difficult to remember if something happened this morning, yesterday, or some time long before that. Time is just one more thing frozen in this home.

How long has it been since I last saw his face? I want to understand why I was taken away, but my staff didn’t offer any explanations. “You’re a princess!” they had said. “Leave the thinking to your parents. They know what’s best for you.” At first, it was painful and frustrating, but over the years, I’ve grown apathetic toward my situation.

There is no need to hurry. No need to speak quickly or fret over daily annoyances. No need to seek out comfort or… but him. Why couldn’t he come?

I wish I could dismiss thoughts of him, cast my feelings out of my heart, as I did with everything else. If you don’t care, you can’t be hurt. But my darling Tabie was stolen away from me, and I still want to know why. His face, his smile, his laugh… I can see it all when I close my eyes. There’s something about documenting my thoughts that always brings him to mind.

Throughout the rest of the day, I can do nothing, an option I exercise all the time. Just stare out blankly at the world and forget about everything else going on around the house. I can’t remember the last time the staff approached me or attempted to talk to me. They bring food to my room every once in a while and clean the room, like I’m not here. Which is fine, because truly, I am not here.

There’s something in the wind, though. The earth has grown colder and more solid, although it may just be my perception. I feel it to be a premonition, but I do not know of what. I’m not sure I want to know either. If it’s something painful, I’d rather it just froze away, shattered like ice, and left me alone.

But maybe the bad news is for someone else. Perhaps they will finally be cast out, and I will inherit their titles. That day will not come soon enough – the day that I am not just princess, but queen. When I will have the power to investigate why I was taken away, where Tabie has gone, and if anything doesn’t add up, I will have the power to punish those responsible.

An early frost has encouraged ice to crackle over the windows, and thus, I am again reminded that time, like all else, has frozen. I do not think that day will come. I fear that I will be left here, immobile in time and life, while everything else passes by. How I wish to escape the cruelty of fate. For it, too, is as cold as the rest of my existence.

I would contemplate this further, but I have noticed an odd, almost painful sensation in my chest. I shall go rest until it fades away.

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#285 :: November 15th, 2010 @ 4:43 PM

Forum Grand Master

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popping in because I changed the years around a bit and your piece is 1994 ;D

can could I get you to try another one? this time I have a few specific events I want captured.

♥DA♥CIs♥OCs♥

#286 :: November 15th, 2010 @ 9:32 PM

is a Pumpkin Murderer!

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Hello there, I am loving your work.

Username: Aufeis
Character(s): Aurigae the Paralix. There's a little blurb on her profile but basically she's a Galactic Paralix who's obsessed with everything and anything grape (but not grapefruit, she hates grapefruit.) Her coloring is that of her overlay and I would like it if she didn't start out purple but turned that way over time. [Note: Auriga is a constellation, and Capella is the brightest star in it]
Format: A general creative story.
Word Count: Length is up to you, but I would not like it to be too long because the main attraction of her profile will be her treasure chest.
Tone/Genre: I suppose this would be fantasy; it's not everyday an overabundance of a specific food changes your color!
Other Information: However long it takes I don't mind. Aurigae's TC, at the moment I am typing this, has all but 2 of the grape items on site. [Edit: Make that all but 1.] The blurb references Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl. That's doesn't have to be in the story, it's up to you.
Price: However many words it ends up being, as per your going rate, I am willing to pay for it.

Last Edit by: Aufeis 11/15/10 - 9:37:32 pm

ice on top
Bust by User not found (1): Lament
Chibi by User not found (1): Josikaea

#287 :: November 15th, 2010 @ 9:41 PM

the Snowman

8,601 Posts
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@Cherish
Sure! Just let me know what you want.

@Aufeis
Got you added to the list.

As a heads-up to both you guys, there are several people in line at the moment, and in real life, I have finals coming up. What this boils down to: it's going to be a while before I get around to your requests.

Ask me about writing commissions. {{ request board | ping group }}

#288 :: November 15th, 2010 @ 9:45 PM

is a Pumpkin Murderer!

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No problem, I don't mind waiting.

ice on top
Bust by User not found (1): Lament
Chibi by User not found (1): Josikaea

#289 :: November 15th, 2010 @ 10:12 PM

Forum Grand Master

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okay. on his profile, I added the years that I've chosen to have something done at (date, then approx age):

~1999~ 11
-one of the kids has an accident from falling off something and breaks an arm/leg. the other throws a tantrum and demands to ride the ambulance with him/her because the child can't stand not being there.

~2003~ 15
- a break up happens and the girl is in tears. the boy comforts her and takes her out to cheer her up (a cafe, circus... park? XD)

~2004~ 16
- the girl's sweet sixteen. at midnight, the boy climbs the tree outside her window to get her attention. (she climbs out/he goes in) he gives her a present and a kiss on the cheek. the girl blushes then says that "he finally caught her" or something like that (will connect to that one story I have of them playing tag. she dares him to kiss her and when he tries, she shrieks and runs)

~2006~ 18
- something about graduation/prom?

~2007~ 19
- the airport. the boy comes back from a trip around the world and is greeted by the girl in the lobby. she runs to him and they hug. maybe something about the fact that they have changed and there's a hint of a budding romance?

there's one more but that one I'm writing for sure ;D

so basically, pick one that you'd like to do c: or if there's one you think would work better, let me know!

♥DA♥CIs♥OCs♥

#290 :: November 15th, 2010 @ 10:20 PM

is a gold digger.

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I'm so sorry for the late reply. I was away for the weekend.

I love the journal entry you came up with. Beyond amazing!! Thank you so much for writing it for me.

Once I gather more sP, I'll be back once again for another.

#291 :: November 15th, 2010 @ 11:47 PM

the Snowman

8,601 Posts
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@Mourning
Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it.

@Cherish
Oh, I like a lot of those. I'd like to do the 1999 one for sure, if that's okay. *already mentally writing it*

Ask me about writing commissions. {{ request board | ping group }}

#292 :: November 16th, 2010 @ 12:32 AM

Is Lonely

4,881 Posts
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Hello, hello. Anybody out there?...
_______________________________________

@

I'm very interested in your work~ But I reread the "reedited commissions" part, but I'm a bit confused. So is it permanent that for every 500 words, it's 500k?

_______________________________________
...Cause I don't hear a sound.

#293 :: November 16th, 2010 @ 12:38 AM

the Snowman

8,601 Posts
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@Totodile
If you have a story you have written, and you want me to edit it, it costs 500K per 500 words. This is because it takes time and energy to carefully read through a story, come up with alternatives to wording, make changes, go back and reread to see how the changes work, and so on.

If you have a very short piece, though, we can negotiate a lower price.

Ask me about writing commissions. {{ request board | ping group }}

#294 :: November 16th, 2010 @ 1:07 AM

Is Lonely

4,881 Posts
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Hello, hello. Anybody out there?...
_______________________________________

@

Oooh okay I get it, then I'd like to post

Username: Totodile
Character(s): My pet Brandbear. A little bit is already on his profile. But his personality is that of a ...sarcastic jerk at most times? (Mainly to people he doesn't know all too well) Except he's only a tiny bit of a jerk to his girlfriend. He's a total nerd such as if some one were to curse at him ...for example saying the "F" word, he would roll his eyes and start explaining the origin of the word haahahhaa. Biology and Physics are his strong points, and he loves avoiding conflict as much as possible. Reading, strategy games especially chess, and listening to music are his favourite pass times he also has a brother the same age as him - Litis- (both 18) who is such the computer junkie and loves to fight, is as sarcastic as Brandbear, but much more homourous...uhh yeahhh that's all I can think of. XD;
Format: Story c: He can either be a Pokemon or a Human up to you. I like all, but I guess I would prefer human if possible. c:
Word Count: Um 750? xD;
Tone/Genre: Uhhh Slice of Life, Adventure, and Comedy?
Other Information: Nope~ Take your time.
Price: Um umumum 2 mill? xD;

_______________________________________
...Cause I don't hear a sound.

Last Edit by: Totodile 11/18/10 - 2:34:27 am

#295 :: November 16th, 2010 @ 5:45 PM

Forum Grand Master

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awesome 8D but that one there's a phrase I want at the very end, kind of so it repeats with my ending. I haven't quite decided yet but something like "don't leave me" and "never" not sure what it will be exactly yet XDD

can't wait!

Edit:

and this "thing" is suppose to be like a tree/roof or something so it's kinda like "mommy said..." and "I'm not stupid" type thing and it... happens

I've done that kind of thing before XD

Last Edit by: Cherish 11/16/10 - 5:46:50 pm

♥DA♥CIs♥OCs♥

#296 :: November 29th, 2010 @ 2:04 PM

the Snowman

8,601 Posts
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YAY UPDATES!

I know it's been a while, so I thought I should update you all on the status of the work. The Internet has been down in my area for a week, so I wasn't able to work on anything over break. I will avoid this situation in the future by saving all of your requests into word documents on my computer, so it won't matter if the Internet fails again for some reason.

@_Jammin_
I had no idea that Kick-Ass was such a popular movie, so I still haven't gotten my hands on a copy. I am so sorry about that. I just don't feel that I can capture Hit Girl to the best of my ability without being able to see things like the way she talks, interacts with others, etc. first hand, and I want to give you the best story possible.

To remedy the situation, I plan to work on Sucker's story first and have that to you by the end of the week. I'll get Hit Girl's story done when I get the movie, which I should be able to get at the end of the semester, as my mom is a librarian and I asked her to borrow it from the library for winter break. Winter break is eighteen days away, so you can expect Hit Girl's story before the end of the year, assuming my mom doesn't have problems with other people putting the movie on hold first.

@raichu
I have a presentation tomorrow over a paper I haven't written yet (oops! goes back to damn Internet problems and all my sources being from online articles). Anyway, what this means is I haven't been able to read over the information for your pet yet. However, I should have some free time this week, so I will get your story at least started by the weekend. I'll let you know if I have a question and can't find the answer in the information you left.

To everyone else:
@aristokrata, @Aufeis, @Cherish, @Kuro, @Totodile
I WILL get your stories done before the end of the year. I'll try to get them done within the next few weeks, but it's crunch time right before finals for me, so no promises there. I'll go in order that you're listed in on the first post. I do NOT accept bribes, so you don't have to worry about people getting a slot in before you.

If any of this isn't acceptable, I completely understand since I know I've been taking forever. Please just let me know as soon as possible! Thanks guys!

@Totodile: I totally just realized your UN is the name of a Pokemon! Haha, I am slow. :'D

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#297 :: November 29th, 2010 @ 2:09 PM

Has a Massive Family

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Nah, not a problem at all, I know how life can be

So take all the time you need, even if it lasts til the end of the year, haha C:

Ann & Manuel by the amazing grim.

#298 :: November 29th, 2010 @ 3:29 PM

has LOTS of clothes

6,065 Posts
857 Achievements

@ Sounds good to me hon. I am not in any hurry for either of them. Thanks for the update

Todays Daily Item is

Formerly known as _Jammin_.

#299 :: November 29th, 2010 @ 3:33 PM

Forum Grand Master

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that's not a problem hon ♥ take all the time you need. I myself won't be around the last two weeks of December so that's not a problem

♥DA♥CIs♥OCs♥

#300 :: November 29th, 2010 @ 3:37 PM

is SO Emo!

15,686 Posts
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That's totally fine for me.
I'm not in a hurry and I understand real life is always more important. Just take all the time you need C;

art by kibzy

#301 :: November 29th, 2010 @ 7:25 PM

Is Lonely

4,881 Posts
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Hello, hello. Anybody out there?...
_______________________________________

@
Totally fine by me!

Take your time, I'm in no rush. We all have lives so ahaha XD

WOW yep the cutest...CUTEST starter ever <3

_______________________________________
...Cause I don't hear a sound.

#302 :: December 3rd, 2010 @ 10:17 PM

the Snowman

8,601 Posts
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Thank you, everyone, for being so understanding.

@_Jammin_
As promised, Sucker's story is done! Please let me know if anything is unsatisfactory. If you like it, you can pay on lot 4731217.

Quote:
Sucker sighed, pushing small air bubbles upward through the water. This sort of thing always happened to him.

He flexed his long arms, wiggling about a little to test the give of the bonds restraining him, while he pondered the events that had landed him in this predicament.

“Oh, my! Oh, dear!” the small Sheweed had said. Maybe about an hour ago, Sucker had stumbled across her pacing back and forth in the sandy ocean floor. She had looked quite distressed, so Sucker approached her, asking if there was anything he could do.

Initially, she had waved him away distractedly and gone back to pacing. But when she made another circle, she seemed to really look at Sucker, and she was willing to open up.

Her name was Kelpa, and apparently, Merana was seeking vengeance against her and her friends. Kelpa was a de facto leader in that region of the ocean, and helped out other small creatures with any issues they might have. However, a few of her friends – a small Jamba, a stout Stalwart, and an apprehensive Sea Horse – had gone treasure hunting in the waters close to Merana’s lair, and had come back with a small pirate treasure chest they had found.

The treasure belonged to Merana, and she was seeking vengeance on the thieves. Terribly distressed by the situation, Kelpa asked Sucker if he would help. He readily agreed to assist in any way he could, but told Kelpa he wasn’t sure what use he would be against the sea witch.

As it turned out, she didn’t need him to do much. Because he was so much taller than she was, she hoped that she could climb up his back to see over the nearby rock. When Sucker asked why she didn’t just swim over the rock, Kelpa had paused, and then said, in a quivering voice, “But what if Merana is on her way? If I swim over the rock, I’ll be much closer, and she’ll be able to grab me!”

That seemed like a reasonable enough explanation, so he agreed. She put two hands on the top of two of his arms and began climbing up, and the next thing he knew, she had him bound tightly with seaweed. She knocked him in the head on her way down. As his vision turned dark, Sucker saw her friends approach with the stolen treasure chest. Before he lost consciousness, he faintly heard them call out, “See you later, sucker! … If Merana doesn’t see you first!” as they ran away.

He awoke shortly thereafter, and now, here he was, struggling with his bonds. Miserable and hoping to escape before the sea witch came, he lamented his bad luck. Why did these things happen to him? Why’d he have to be so darn gullible? Why’d he have to be such a … a … a sucker?!

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#303 :: December 3rd, 2010 @ 11:11 PM

has LOTS of clothes

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Adorable! Going over to pay now, Thanks so much

Todays Daily Item is

Formerly known as _Jammin_.

#304 :: December 12th, 2010 @ 3:44 PM

the Snowman

8,601 Posts
1,034 Achievements

@raichu
Only took a freaking lifetime, but I have finally motivated myself to find time to write your story. (Which was far more fun to do than to study for the Math Economics final I have tomorrow. ) I went off of the links and information you posted, but if I misunderstood something or got a detail wrong, please let me know! If everything is okay, lot #4740746 is up for payment.

Quote:
It was such a burden.

Illyasviel von Einzbern had been cast out to a forest of beasts with her familiar, Berserker. Years ago, her family had come up with the concept of the Holy Grail Wars, but had never won. The wars granted the winner the Holy Grail, a legendary chalice that grants its holder wishes. For the fifth war, the von Einzbern family’s hope rested in Illyasviel to win the war and restore glory to the family. She knew that she should not let them down, but the pain of training for the war was tiresome.

Although her potential as a master was unsurpassed by any other, it was painful to command Berserker. The markings of the Command Spell decorated her body, and each time she used mana, or magic energy, to control Berserker, every one of his movements was painful for her. Controlling him hurt. Fighting in battle with him hurt.

She knew it was a necessity for winning the war, but the pain of controlling Berserker weighed her heart down with hate. If Berserker did not exist, if the von Einzbern’s had not given him to her, she would not have to suffer.

But she could not change the circumstances. Trudging through the forest, Illyasviel and Berserker pushed onward. Living off of her wits and his brute strength, they were able to survive in the forest. It felt like it was always winter here, and they resided together in the middle of the forest in a castle coated with snow. The winter winds were not as harsh as the beasts that haunted the forest, and she was able to ignore the cold with relative ease.

The beasts, on the other hand, were terrors in their own right. Casting large, red eyes back, Illyasviel stole a glance of Berserker. He was an exceptionally large familiar with dark skin and abundant muscles. He could cause great destruction with a single swing of his axe-club. Reason and sanity were non-existent, but his great skills in combat made him useful.

Well, more than useful, she realized. He was always by her side, and protected her from the beasts in the forest. He used his strength solely for her well-being. She supposed…

Berserker had stopped walking and shot her a puzzled look, obviously confused by her staring. She smiled widely, and said, “Let’s go home,” before moving forward. She heard a grunt of acknowledgment and felt the comforting vibrations of his heavy steps, indicating that he was following.

…She supposed, he really was a very good friend. Resolving to be more grateful for his efforts on her behalf, she felt a small twinge of affection – dare she think it? Love? – for her familiar.

Yes, he was a really wonderful friend.

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#305 :: December 12th, 2010 @ 10:41 PM

is SO Emo!

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oh gosh, awesome as always *3*
The info is all okay and I think you captured the characters perfectly ^^
love it tons!
thankyou! <333

-runs to pay-

btw. GL withyourexam tomorrow ^^

art by kibzy

Last Edit by: raichu 12/12/10 - 10:41:27 pm

#306 :: December 15th, 2010 @ 9:50 PM

the Snowman

8,601 Posts
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@aristokrata
I looked through your pets, and it looked like Jannis was the Angel Sheeta you had mentioned when you first made your request. (Congrats, by the way!) If I'm wrong, though, it's not a big deal to go through and change the name out.

If you're happy with the story, you can pay on lot 4743561. If there's anything you want changed, though, please let me know! I want you to be happy with your story.

Quote:
A raisin muffin dangled out of the side of his mouth as Jannis shuffled the last few boxes into the cart. It was early morning, and the sun was too shy to come out yet, its absence making the air nippy and fresh. His father was at the door to their home, a windmill set in a large tulip field. He waved an arm before stuffing the rest of the muffin in his mouth and climbing on his bike.

Although he was only 17 years old, he didn’t mind helping his dad out. Being a baker was a very tiring and hard job, so Jannis helped out whenever he could. This morning, like so many other mornings, he was delivering fresh-baked goods to the nearby towns. The smell of warm bread wafted up to his nose as he traveled into town, and his mouth watered at the smell. Delicious!

“Jannis! Welcome!” His first stop, the home of the Hauers, was one of his favorites. Mrs. Hauer was a plump elder woman who was always glad to see him.

He unloaded a box of warm croissants and brought them up to the house for her. As she shuffled them inside, he pulled a notebook out and a small pencil. “Good morning, Mrs. Hauer! I brought your usual order today: a box of croissants, half plain and half with almond paste filling. Sound right?” he asked, confirming her order. She nodded pleasantly, and he continued, “Great! I just need you to sign right here then.” He handed the notepad over with an easy smile, the motion causing his light blond locks to fall into his tan face.

She chuckled warmly while she signed the order form and took her receipt. “You’re so cheerful and polite! It’s just such a joy to have you delivering to me.” She handed back the notepad and waved good-bye.

As he headed in to town, he checked the watch hanging around his neck. Confirming that he was on schedule, he lost himself in the beauty of the town’s surroundings. The houses were cute and squat, like beautifully decorated cupcakes. The town hall was a flat, long building, with steam rising up from fireplaces inside; the imagery reminded him of a warm loaf of bread, fresh from the oven.

“Oh, hey! Look at Janis go. Not even paying attention.”

“He’s always dreaming about something. You can never get him to take notice of reality.”

“What a weirdo. Look at the crumbs stuck to his face! Doesn’t he pay any attention to anything?!”

“Ugh, just what you’d expect of a baker’s son! He’s so naïve about interacting with the real world.”

The incessant chattering of the kids pulled him out of his thoughts. While they were hanging about on a fence, shooting glares and snarky remarks his way, he offered them a broad smile and a short wave as he biked past them.

Their attempts to insult him were meaningless. As far as he was concerned, they were gingerbread men in his world of sugar and pastries. Gingerbread men with gumdrop buttons, white icing for hair, and licorice for clothes. Delicious!

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#307 :: December 16th, 2010 @ 8:17 AM

Has a Massive Family

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Ya, exactly, haha xD I'm sorry you had to find out yourself, I could've told you *headdesk*
Anyways, I really like the story you wrote, you did an amazing job on portraying the character (: I'll offer on your trade in a second!

Edit:

The sheepie's name is Madita, btw, just in case you were wondering

Ann & Manuel by the amazing grim.

Last Edit by: User not found (1): aristokrata 12/17/10 - 6:00:40 am

#308 :: December 17th, 2010 @ 1:11 PM

the Snowman

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@_Jammin_
Finally got the movie and finished watching it this morning! Since you wanted this to be a news article, I wrote it the way a journalist would with the information available in the movie. For example, I know, at the end, it is implied that Red Mist goes on to become a villain, but he had been viewed by media in the movie to be a superhero, which is why I called him one in the story.

If everything is okay, you can pay on lot 4744758. If you want any changes to be made, though, please just let me know!
Quote:
NEW YORK CITY – This morning, the fire at Frank’s Lumber Supplies was finally extinguished. The warehouse is believed to have been ambushed and attacked at night, with evidence of a struggle between the workers inside and one or more individuals.

Frank’s Lumber Supplies is believed to be a cover-up business for crime syndicate Frank D’Amico’s actions with evidence of drugs and weapons found inside the warehouse. His list of crimes allegedly includes drug dealing and murder.

Police are still investigating the incident, and are not willing to say more on the matter. Public opinion, however, is that the workers’ deaths are the result of vigilante superheroes, such as Kick-Ass, Hit-Girl, and Big Daddy.

Kick-Ass first garnered public attention after taking on three muggers in a gas station parking lot. The hero was filmed by by-standers, and he rose to fame on YouTube and MySpace. His actions are believed to inspire spin-off superheroes Red Mist, Hit-Girl, and Big Daddy, among others. Earlier this week, Red Mist helped take down a most-wanted crime boss Tony Romita.

Hit-Girl and Big Daddy seem to be a separate fighting unit that teamed up with Kick-Ass in order to take down D’Amico’s crime spree together. Big Daddy is believed to be the intellectual support, financial supporter, and back-up attacker of the operation.

Hit-Girl is a short woman with an almost child-like build, and is easily distinguished by her bright purple hair, plaid skirt, and leather outfit. She is an expert in wielding knives and guns, and is known for her fast moves and ability to quickly outwit her opponents.

Allegedly angered by the superheroes’ actions, D’Amico’s men kidnapped and live-streamed a violent attack on Kick-Ass and Big Daddy, which culminated in Big Daddy’s death by fire. Arguably, Big Daddy and Hit-Girl have excessively violent tactics, but since Big Daddy’s death, Hit-Girl has become a public favorite.

Police are still investigating a series of incidents which all seem to be connected to D’Amico’s work. If citizens have any information on any drug dealing, deaths, fire, or kidnappings that may be related to the D’Amico case, they are encouraged to contact their local police station. Tips can be made anonymously.

Edit:

@Aristokrata
I also got your second story done! It's ... um, really long, but hopefully you won't mind once you read it. :'D I don't want to put it in this post, just because it'll make this post squishy with information. But once someone else posts, I'll be able to post it.

Just verifying: you said this was for an unnamed Chibi Devonti that you didn't have at the time you made at the request. Is that Madita? I assumed it was, but thought I should double check!

Last Edit by: twocents 12/17/10 - 7:21:30 pm

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#309 :: December 18th, 2010 @ 4:42 AM

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I'm sure it'll be awesome just the way it is, haha. I'm excited to see it!
And yeah, the Devonti's name is Madita, I edited my last post to tell you but I guess you missed the ping or something... (:

Ann & Manuel by the amazing grim.

#310 :: December 18th, 2010 @ 8:40 AM

has LOTS of clothes

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Sounds good

I will go pay now.

Todays Daily Item is

Formerly known as _Jammin_.

#311 :: December 18th, 2010 @ 10:05 AM

the Snowman

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@aristokrata
YAY! I'm glad you don't mind it being longer. I tried to find ways to cut it down, but I didn't feel like I could without making parts vague or unclear. If there are any changes you'd like, though, please let me know! Otherwise, you can pay on lot 4745626.

Quote:
Poking her nose out from underneath the large, fuzzy blanket, Madita huddled the book and mug of hot cocoa closer to her face. Outside, it was dark and thundering, but enclosed in her room in her cocoon of blankets, the storm was forgotten.

The book’s cover was worn with age, the letters to the title smudged and forgotten. Her father had given it to her as an apology present, because he was gone with work all the time and was rarely home. Madita was glad to delve into the book’s world and opened the cover slowly, appreciating the texture and feel of the pages.

The fifteen-year-old tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and sipped at her hot cocoa as she drank in the words on the page. It was just her sort of story. The setting was on a far-away beach, and she could almost smell the bowl of berries and milk that were on the character’s table.

Although her dreamy ways prevented her from making friends, she enjoyed the company of her plushies. Pulling one underneath her right arm, she cleared her voice, and read aloud to it.

“‘As the sun woke up, its rays twinkling in a yawn, the world came alive.’” Madita’s voice rang out clear and true in almost angelic tones. “‘Across the field, her wide green eyes drank in the sight of a large butterfly. Its powerful purple wings propelled it toward her, and she reached out an arm almost subconsciously inviting the butterfly to rest on her outstretched palm.’”

A knock at the door startled Madita into silence. “Come in!” she called out. Her mother’s warm face peeked around the door, and Madita smiled in welcome. “Hey, dear. I was about to start on dinner. How does shrimp sound to you?”

“Sounds fine, Mom. Thanks!” Madita responded cheerfully, but noted the puzzled look on her mother’s face. “What’s wrong, Mom?”

Her mom pushed the door open further and stepped into the room. “What’s this butterfly doing in here? How random! Shoo! Get out!” Her mother waved her arms in the butterfly’s general vicinity, and Madita caught a glimpse of the butterfly’s vibrant purple wings. How odd! It almost looked like the butterfly described in the book.

“Alright, I’ll call you when supper is ready!” her mom said as she kicked the door closed after her, apparently satisfied by her efforts to evict the butterfly from Madita’s room.

Shrugging her shoulders, Madita turned back to her book. The room was silent, save for the sounds of pages turning and cocoa being sipped. When she stumbled across a particularly interesting part, though, Madita broke the silence with a gasp.

“Listen to this!” she told her stuffed animals excitedly. “‘The child quietly walked into the attic of the beach house, scarcely willing to breathe. It was a creepy, dark attic with dust littering every object in the vicinity, and she disliked being in the room. The very air felt heavy with dirt, and she wanted to exit as quickly as possible.

“‘She spotted the box in the back of the room and edged her way toward it, mentally hoping that the object she sought would be right on top. Pulling the tape off with ease, she pried open the cardboard, and jumped back in horror as cockroaches poured out of the box! She squealed in dismay, dancing lightly on the floor in an attempt to avoid touching any of them. Literally, hundreds of cockroaches swarmed…’”

Madita’s mug dropped from the bed to the floor in a clatter, and she stopped reading in order to pick it up, lest any remaining hot cocoa spill out and stain her carpet. As she leaned over the edge of the bed, her eyes widened in shock. On her carpet, already crawling over the mug and underneath her bed, were hundreds of cockroaches in various sizes. Involuntarily, she screamed and snatched her hand away from the carpet.

Footsteps echoed up the stairs, and her door burst open as her mom arrived. “Wha-? How did this happen?!” she exclaimed. Madita shook her head furiously, appalled by the state of her room. “I don’t know, Mom! I don’t know! I was just reading and suddenly they were…” she gestured with an arm indicating the bugs on the floor.

Her mom closed the door, presumably in an attempt to contain the insects, and dove downstairs, shouting, “I’ll grab the insecticide!”

Madita shifted slightly, and kicked the book with her foot. She had just been reading when the butterfly appeared, and she had just been reading when the cockroaches began swarming. It seemed almost impossible, but could she have really called them from the book as she read?

If so, it might be worth a shot to see what the character did! Madita cleared her throat, and shakily began reading again. “‘Literally, hundreds of cockroaches swarmed out of the box and infected the room. They climbed over old furniture and into cobwebs and corners. When a particularly bold cockroach began climbing on her leg, though, she screamed and kicked out. Tears fell down her face, and her terrified mind raced as she tried to decide what to do. Should she dash and make an escape from the attic? But she couldn’t leave the item behind…

“‘She paused long enough to peer into the box, but cockroaches were still pouring out. She was not going to reach her bare hand into there!

“‘The cockroaches got more and more daring and multiple bugs began climbing up over her shoes. Some darted up far enough to touch skin, and she screamed again in horror. As her second scream died down, she saw the purple butterfly arrive in the room. It was her friend from that morning! The butterfly’s wings beat powerful gusts of wind down onto the cockroaches, and they seemed to recoil in fear from the butterfly. The closer the butterfly got, the more the cockroaches scurried over each other, each willing to abandon the other in order to escape the butterfly’s gusts.’

“That’s it!” Madita exclaimed and she tore herself away from the book. “Mom! Mom! What did you do with the butterfly?”
Her mom burst into the room again, this time armed with insecticide and masks. As her mom tossed a mask to her, ordering her to protect her face, Madita sighed in relief. The butterfly had followed her mom into her bedroom, and was already getting to work. As the butterfly swooped lower and lower, the insects scurried this way and that, every cockroach in survival mode.

Madita’s mom jumped back, surprised by the insects’ actions, and they both watched in surprise as the butterfly’s flight directed all of the cockroaches out of the room. It was almost as if the butterfly was herding the cockroaches. Each time one looked like it was going to break from the group and make a run for it, the butterfly beat its bright purple wings and flew lower, scaring the entire bunch into submission.

The last of the bugs left the room and climbed down the stairs. “Hey, Mom,” Madita asked shakily, unsure of what to think of the whole affair. “Do you have the door open so they can go outside?” Her mom shook her head dumbly, equally shocked, and quickly stepped down the stairs in order to beat the insects to the door.

How did this happen? Madita touched the book carefully, as if it might set on fire and burn her. Did she do this? What sort of power is this?

She picked the book back up and set it in her lap, part of her still wanting to know what would happen next. However, she bit her lip this time to keep from reading aloud, intentionally careful about her actions lest she call up something more terrifying than the bugs.

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#312 :: December 18th, 2010 @ 10:26 AM

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Aw, I love it! Interesting job with the cockroaches there, haha xD It's awesome.

Uh, how much do I owe you now? (:

Ann & Manuel by the amazing grim.

#313 :: December 18th, 2010 @ 10:30 AM

the Snowman

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@aristokrata
Bugs scare me. xDD I would freak out if my room was covered with cockroaches.

You asked for a shorter story and I rambled of my own accord, so I'm not going to raise the price from the 2 million we originally agreed upon.

Edit:

@Kuro
I have Sasaki Chiaki's story done for you! If you want any changes to be made, please let me know. Otherwise, you can pay on lot 4745684.

Quote:
Large tears streamed down her face, and she sucked in air in greedy gasps of breath. It had been so many years since her feelings overwhelmed her like this, but she didn’t know how else to respond.

For the first time since she was a child, she was alone.

When Sasaki Chiaki was born, her mother’s life was ended. Chiaki couldn’t even recall seeing a photograph of her mother, but the pain of her death had turned her father to alcohol to numb his feelings. She was often surrounded by neighbors as a child, and life moved forward. The situation was as fine as one could expect given the circumstances.

However, her father’s drinking prompted him to neglect Chiaki. Even now, many years later, she tried to picture his face, but she couldn’t remember him very well. As the years had stretched on since her mother’s death, her father had grown more and more erratic, tending to forget Chiaki’s existence and his responsibility to take care of her.

When she was five years old, he became violent toward her. One time, in a careless move, he threw a wine bottle at her head. The bottle had hit her in her left eye, and to this day, that incident was permanently marked on her face in a vertical scar running from her eyebrow to her cheekbone.

Being just a child at the time, his actions had frightened her. He didn’t seem aware of the damage that he caused, but the facial wound encouraged blood to pour down her face. Scared by the situation, she fled, hoping to find solace in the aid of a neighbor.

But no one was around.

At the time, it felt like she wandered the streets for ages, but now that she considered the memory, it was probably closer to half an hour before he found her. Kimura Hibiki. Concern graced his kind features as he had bent over to inspect her face. Looking at him through tears, she had remained silent, afraid of getting her father in trouble and afraid of what that might mean for her.

The stranger had led her to a nearby hospital for first aid and had called the police. Though the policemen had asked many questions, she had remained stubbornly silent. The officers suggested to the man that they call child services and place her in temporary foster care, until her parents stepped forward and claimed her.

It had been an impulsive move at the time, but the man’s kindness and the situation had overwhelmed her, and she grabbed onto her coat, afraid of being left behind. The elderly man had smiled down at her, and suggested to the police officers that he and his wife take care of her. Relief had washed over her when the officers agreed, and in a small voice, she had said her first words in hours: “Thank you.”

When the days turned into months, and no one had filed a missing child report, the couple adopted Chiaki. Although they had no children of their own, they had lavished Chiaki with love and attention, like parents would to a daughter. Chiaki, not wanting to associate them with the empty words of “mom” and “dad”, called them by their names. He was Kimura Hibiki, and she was Kimura Kioko. They never took offense to this, and recognized the good intentions behind her actions.

Despite their love and affection, though, as the years wore on, Chiaki felt her heart grow colder. Being open to others invited pain, and she shut people out. Often, she felt herself saying things too impulsively or in a tone far harsher than she intended, but these reactions had become second nature to her, and she couldn’t stop herself. Her inability to control her temper had sent people away from her, and left her very lonely.

Except… Hibiki and Kioko were always there for her. It was like they had a great understanding of Chiaki’s true feelings, even when she couldn’t bring herself to share them. They loved her unconditionally, and unlike everyone else, they never abandoned her.

Until two years ago, when she was 14 years old, and Death claimed Hibiki.

But she had still had Kioko, and Chiaki did what she could to support the elderly woman. She had resolved to be strong and not show her sadness over Hibiki’s death, lest her emotions make things more difficult for Kioko.

And that worked out well enough for the next two years. But today, Death visited again. At the age of 80, Kioko’s body was wheeled away from their home by the paramedics, and once again, Chiaki was alone.

For the first time in eleven years, for the first time since she had been that five-year-old child, Chiaki cried. She wept for Hibiki, who had found her and taken her in. She wept for Kioko, who had loved her like a mother. And she wept for all the times she had wanted to cry in the past eleven years.

Although she knew she inherited the Kimura’s house and possessions and would not be homeless, she was still alone. Alone.

And that was a reality that she wasn’t sure she could deal with yet.

Edit:

@Aufeis
I finished your story, but don't like to put more than one story in a post. As soon as someone else posts, I'll post it up for you. It's 295 words long, so roughly 3/5 the length of a normal story. (I made it intentionally shorter, since you wanted your pet's emphasis to be on the TC. I can flesh it out if you'd like though.) So since my base price is 2 million for 500 words, that'd make this piece 1.2 million. Don't feel like you have to pay, though, until you see the story!

@Cherish
I'm starting on Colin's 1999 snippet now, and saw that when you made the request, you said you had a specific phrase you wanted at the end that you hadn't decided on at the time. Have you decided what you'd like that phrase to be yet?

Last Edit by: twocents 12/18/10 - 1:16:08 pm

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#314 :: December 18th, 2010 @ 1:58 PM

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yes ;D something a bit "fearful" and cute like:

"don't leave me alone"
"I won't"

type thing c:

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#315 :: December 18th, 2010 @ 2:09 PM

the Snowman

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@Cherish
YAY, then I think I'm done. I consulted the information you gave me from the previous one, and I hope I got everything right this time. Please let me know if something needs to be changed! Otherwise, if you're happy with it, you can pay on lot 4745725.

Spoiler (click here to toggle)

The normally quiet suburban neighborhood was wide awake this sleepy Saturday morning with the sounds of ambulance alarms.

A young girl was being carted away from a house at the end of the block, wide eyes decorated with tears. She sat up as far as she could, trying to get a better look at her leg, which the paramedics had told her was likely broken.

She should have known better than to listen to him. Their parents had still been in bed when he had knocked on her door that morning. He had thought it would be just great fun to jump from the top of a tree in his backyard down onto a trampoline.

“Imagine the height you’ll get when you bounce back up!” he had exclaimed. Although she tried to make small protests, like, “What about our parents? We should ask them,” those protests were quickly drowned out in her growing excitement.

They had clambered up the tree together, with him holding a steadying arm out as she picked a spot to jump from, and…

She had miscalculated by mere inches and her left leg had caught the edge of the trampoline while the rest of her crashed to the ground. The horrible twist of her leg had wrenched a loud cry from her mouth, bringing out the parents and later, the ambulance, where she sat now.

She could just see his head out of the ambulance doors, his whole body bobbing up and down with his dramatic movements. He was stamping his feet and wailing out with loud protests. “I WANT TO GO. I WANT TO RIDE IN THE AMBULANCE. I HAVE TO GO. WHY DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND??”

A small chuckle came out past the tears, as she was amused by the looks of horror and embarrassment on his parents’ faces, while he remained stubbornly committed to his tantrum.

“Hey,” she called out to him, her voice rough from crying. “Don’t leave me.”

He stopped for a moment, and she saw firm resolution in his eyes. “I won’t.”

The ambulance pulled away from the neighborhood just before lunch, carrying two children safely inside.

Last Edit by: twocents 5/29/11 - 3:24:27 pm

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#316 :: December 18th, 2010 @ 2:26 PM

is a Pumpkin Murderer!

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Great! I can't wait to read it. I'm sure it's excellent.

ice on top
Bust by User not found (1): Lament
Chibi by User not found (1): Josikaea

#317 :: December 18th, 2010 @ 2:28 PM

the Snowman

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@Aufeis
YAY! I'm glad you're excited. Here it is! If you're happy with it, you can pay on lot 4745724. If you want any changes, though, please let me know!

Quote:
If I traveled all of the skies and into all of the worlds, I would never find a more delicious food item than the grape.

The smell of grapes, the color of the fruit, its taste so juicy and full… the very thought of it makes my mouth water! I’ve eaten questionable slices of grape pie, drank heavily from glasses of haunted grape juice, and let grape-flavored chocolate melt slowly into my mouth.

My dearest friend, Capella, the brightest star in my constellation, had warned me once, “Remember Violet Beauregarde? She turned the color of a blueberry! With the way you indulge in grapes, the very same thing could happen to you!”

At the time, I had laughed her off with ease: Violet Beauregarde was a character in a book! Those things don’t happen in real life. I just love grapes. The smell, the taste, the texture, the color… And I’ve already eaten suspicious enough items that if something were to happen, it surely would have occurred already, right? Right?

However, last week, I noticed that my fingernails were turning a dirty, black-blue – well, some might call it purple – color. It was probably a bruise.

But then the color started to infect my hand. It slowly and gradually climbed up my arm. Even my hair began to gray out and turn light lavender. Why, when I peeked in the mirror this morning, my entire body looked purple!

It is a phenomenon that I am considering while munching on a bunch of sour grapes with my back firmly turned away from Capella’s mocking “I told you so” look. I have reached a conclusion about my condition, and have resolutely decided that stranger things have happened.

Now it’s time to go grape hunting! My stores are getting low again.

Last Edit by: twocents 12/18/10 - 2:30:43 pm

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#318 :: December 18th, 2010 @ 2:31 PM

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OMG I LOVE IT!!!!!!! I had something different in mind but that went out the window when I read this XDD

could I just change "hey" to "Colin"? it fits better with what I have in mind for the last piece ;D

how much again? I never remember DX

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#319 :: December 18th, 2010 @ 2:32 PM

the Snowman

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@Cherish
I'm glad you love it! YAY!

Yup, that's fine! I knew you were gradually going to make them more personal, but wasn't sure if I should use his name or not.

It's 356 words, so discounting my base price of 2 million for 500 words, that puts the price at 1.4 million.

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#320 :: December 18th, 2010 @ 2:38 PM

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sweet 8D thanks so much! I adore it so much c:

Edit:

I also jsut changed the spelling of neighborhood to neighbourhood cuz I'm canadian and things like that bother me XDD

Last Edit by: Cherish 12/18/10 - 2:44:45 pm

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