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| #1 :: July 21st, 2011 @ 1:12 PM | |
 RifleIs Lonely    11,310 Posts 475 Achievements  
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When I went to Cincinnati for two weeks, I stayed with my friend and met a few of her friends. I met most of them at church/youth group, and we had a nice time and hung out and it was pretty fun. I'm not religious in the slightest. I feel...guilty when I sit in church and ~pretend~ to pray and whatnot. My family doesn't go to church, never has, and I'm not really interested in religion at all. One of the people I met, Quentin, was truly nice. He's about 17, and my friend and I (and the rest of youth group) would hang out and play Frisbee and whatnot with him. He's the pastor's son, and very, very, very (almost overwhelmingly) religious. I keep in contact with him because he was really nice, and understanding, but I just feel like most of the time, his advice is useless since it's all religion based. For example, yesterday at about midnight, we were just casually talking about our days, what we have planned for the rest of the summer, etc, and then he asks me "Have you read your Bible today?" I didn't know how to respond, since, no, I never read my/a Bible. He's said he won't judge me based on my religious morals, but I feel like...he will judge me if I don't put faith above everything else. So I texted back "No," and then something after that I can't remember. He replied "Oh, well, I try and read my Bible everyday." Quentin is really very nice and he's good at conversation, but I just feel like he...preaches at me, and that, I'm not comfortable with. I want to keep up contact with him,, but I feel like I'm a disappointment to him if I don't put everything I have into religion. Help? :c PS for clarity, we're just friends. Nothing more than that. I promise. style-file tumblr Last Edit by: User not found (1): Ollivander 7/21/11 - 2:16:17 pm
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| #2 :: July 21st, 2011 @ 2:14 PM | |
| Nymfetamin The Helper  2,464 Posts 445 Achievements |
@Ollivander
Hm. I would have told him that I don't believe myself but that I respect his faith. In return, he should respect yours lack of it. With that, he shouldn't preach or guilt you into any religious stuff. If he can't accept that, he's sadly not right for you. |
| #3 :: July 21st, 2011 @ 4:22 PM | |
| SparkieSharkie Attended a Subeta Meetup!  1,663 Posts 852 Achievements |
 @Ollivander... ETA: my message disappeared, sorry for the random ping... ANYWHO My fiance and I are sorta similar in the fact that he's pretty right on religious and while I believe in God I don't read my bible ever, I don't go to church and I'm a preachers grand kid... my dad as a PK wasn't a fan of church either so ehh... yea anyways... brent goes to church almost every sunday and I go once in a blue moon, and only with him... it's not something i'm super comfortable with and he's aware... I think if you tell this guy that you'd like to be friends and you really don't like being pressured into his religion... if he's a "true" whichever religion he follows he would realize that the way to the person heart is not by force but at YOUR own pace and time (even if that's never) and shouldn't shove it down your throat. thats my biggest problem with religion tbh, live and let live.... I would jsut tell him how you feel... if he says anything you could be like "I'm not at that point in my life yet and I would hope you would understand and respect my wishes to try and not include biblical talk everyday" type thing? idk... ummm hopefully this helped a lil ^^; religion and friendships aren't really a thing that works unless both are willing to compromise, if he continues and doesn't respect your wishes then end the friendship... those who aren't respectful aren't worth having as friends Last Edit by:
SparkieSharkie 7/21/11 - 4:26:12 pm
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| #4 :: July 31st, 2011 @ 10:21 PM | |
| Kelli Junior Archaeologist  235 Posts 257 Achievements |
 If he's pushing stuff on you, you need to just be clear with him. I always get weired when people try to preach at me, it's like, thanks but no thanks? It's not cool if you are feeling guilty about it, which is just rude of him. He wouldn't like it if you were telling him all the time about your views. I hope the best, I know how hard it can be sometimes. 
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| #5 :: August 2nd, 2011 @ 2:46 AM | |
| DoomQueen is Darksided!  6,641 Posts 672 Achievements |
@Ollivander
Ah, see this is kinda tricky. If he's your friend and cares about you he'll want you to believe what he believes. Why? Because you'll go to hell if you don't. So he'll want to save you. Be gentle and kind, feel the situation out, and tell him that you respect his beliefs, but for now they're not your own. Think about is he really being preachy or is it just that he's a preacher's kid and this is all he knows? Give him some slack. Don't fret the small stuff like "Have you read your Bible today." Now if he starts to try and force you to convert, then there's a problem. But for now he seems fine. Unless every time you talk with him you feel guilty, then maybe this relationship just isn't a good fit. "Let's enjoy the gorgeous summer weather before it somehow tries to murder us." |
| #6 :: August 2nd, 2011 @ 10:13 PM | |
| viticus Is the Pumpkin King!  1,418 Posts 258 Achievements |
 I make - currently closed - @Ollivander I was in a situation like this in high school. I was having problems making friends and the first person who talked to me, someone who actually pursued my friendship even though every day I literally said "I'm going to punch you in the face Caleb," was SO religious and his dad is a pastor. But he was hilarious and fun to be around and just an all around good kid, so I wanted to be friends. Luckily he was actually pretty liberal in his beliefs (religious or no) so eventually it came up in conversation that I was not and I'd prefer it if he kept it to himself - and he did. So we had a pretty cool friendship. After he moved away, a couple of years ago, I even drove to visit him in missouri where he was going to a religious college and yet he still didn't push it on me. We had a big conversation about that once though, and I think that put it to rest for good. It was a very respectful and calm convo, where we both just explained our side. I told him why I didn't want to be part of a religion and why I didn't care that he was nonetheless - then he told me why he was religious and why it would have made him feel better if I did go to church or convert. In the end we agreed that we wouldn't try to change each other, but he did make me promise that if the rapture actually started to happen that I'd convert at the last minute -eyeroll- But that set it to rest basically, we never talked about it again after that. Maybe you can try to have the same conversation with Quentin? I think it's important that you *both* say your piece though, because it's like other people have said - he truly thinks he is helping you by harassing you. It might pain him not to do it, but if you can keep yourself from trying to get him to renounce, he can deal with not converting you. And if he really can't that's his problem and he's going to lose an awesome friend.
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