Hey, what's up? My real, dedicated fans (shoutout to my homies in Centropolis) know that today is a very special day. Possibly, the most special day of them all. Yep, that's right, it's finally Elwood Day. Don't let this "murder" talk get you down. There are going to be fireworks, y'all! Fireworks!
I'm going to be proudly showing off my 'wood, and you should flash your 'wood, too, with this awesome sticker. It's of my face because my real best quality wasn't "family friendly". I totally made it myself, too, so you can admire my rugged handsomeness and my creativity at the same time.
And just because I'm such a cool guy, it's free. Even the poor deserve the majesty of impressive 'wood.
Posted by: [NPC] Elwood