Information

Lez has a minion!

Frostfall the Froby

Lez

The

Blacklight Lain
Owner:

Age: 1 year, 2 weeks, 2 days

Born: May 4th, 2012

Adopted: 1 year, 2 weeks, 2 days ago

Adopted: May 4th, 2012

Statistics

Level: 5
Strength: 11
Defense: 10
Speed: 11
Health: 11
HP: 11/11
Intelligence: 0
Books Read: 0
Food Eaten: 0
Job: Unemployed

Waiting, that’s what I was doing. I was waiting, but she never came. She always met me before class, even if she was mad at me. This morning, though…this morning was different. The late bell rang once, twice, and once more, but she never showed. I walked, defeated, to my homeroom as the school’s security guard yelled for us all to get to class.

I know she’s here, she told me last night that she would be. She promised we’d talk. I need that; I just can’t lose her. More and more each day, I feel like I’m losing her. Ever since she got back from the psych ward, she’s been so very distant. I can’t lose her.

I dozed through homeroom, it seems. The bell rings and I rush out the door, only to stop and wait again.

“Maybe she was late,” I mutter to the air. “Maybe I’m just paranoid.” But again, she did not show. She didn’t show up after third period either and I thought perhaps she had gotten sick. I knew it wasn’t true, but I tried to convince myself on some level that this wasn’t actually happening. Nausea gripped me and refused to relinquish its hold. Anxiety clawed viciously at the insides of my stomach. No, this wasn’t happening.

Oh, but it was. Fifth period, I saw her. My heart beat uncontrollably, erratically. She was walking to the art room. Fast.

“Mel!” I shouted across the hall as I sped up my pace. “Melody!” In vain I called her name. She stopped only for a second, perhaps less, before she rushed into the art room without even a glance of acknowledgement. I knew I couldn’t reach her now. I was late to lunch already and the security guard was right down the hall, but I couldn’t move. I was frozen, a statue of pure fear and anxiety. I realized that I had begun to tremble, and a rogue tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek. No. This wasn’t happening. Not now, not to us. This couldn’t happen, could it? We’ve fought so hard to be together. I came out to my family and friends so I could be with her. We were supposed to be happy together, supposed to go to the same college in the fall and finally be free to love each other without the fear that our parents could tear us apart. This wasn’t happening, not now.

I don’t know how, but I had begun walking oh-so-slowly toward the cafeteria. I imagine I appeared shell-shocked. I saw my favorite teacher wave to me and smile, only to take in my and begin to look confused. I walked like a zombie to the lunch line. I dropped my bag at my normal seat. I stood in line, enraptured by my emotions. It was overwhelming and it was as if I felt nothing. It was too much, but I was empty. Every fiber of my being was reaching out for someone who was not there. Why was she not there? I began to feel as if I would be sick. The closer I got to the front of the line, the more anxious I became. Finally, it hit me.

Like a tidal wave, my emotions rolled and crashed around the shores of my very core, and everything hurt. I got out of line, hurried to the restroom across from the cafeteria and locked myself in a stall, only to crumple to the floor to be overtaken by the first of a series of many panic attacks that would follow in the next several months. It was as if I was being suffocated by my need for her. My body and my soul ached for one thing and one thing only and that was her. I needed her touch. I needed her to pull me in close, wrap me in her embrace, and never ever let me go. I needed her to do as she had always done, to whisper reassuring words into my ear and to tell me that everything was going to be alright. I needed to know she still loved me. I needed to breathe her in and know that she did. She is my everything and this can’t be happening, but oh it is, and I know it now. My body knows, my mind knows, and my soul knows. I’m shaking inside and out. I’ve become a fountain of emotion with my traitorous tears pouring down my cheeks and into my jeans as I wrap my arms around my legs and sob. All I can think is, “No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is wrong.” Like a mantra, I repeated the phrase in my head over and over again. This is too much. I cannot bear it.

I cried and cried until my tears ran dry. I still needed to cry, but I couldn’t. Though my body had ceased to do so, my soul still cried for her. I shakily tried to stand, but I couldn’t. Again I tried, and failed. A third time and I pulled myself up from the ground with the handicap bar. I trembled still, but I couldn’t stay. Slowly, I stood up and walked out of the bathroom and back into the cafeteria. Questions from my friends as I sat down at the table, but I ignored them. I was beside myself. I thought nothing of food. What was the point in eating if I couldn’t hold it down? The rest of the period, I sat quietly, head resting on my arms while everyone else went about their day unscathed. As the bell rang and everyone quickly retreated to their next class, I rose carefully and waved off the friends that waited behind for me. They looked confused, but not nearly as confused as I felt. I went to my class and asked to be excused to the guidance office. With a concerned look, he wrote me a hall pass. I thanked him and made my way down the hall. Stoically I sat in the guidance office, waiting for a chance to be seen. She was busy, and I wasn’t sure I could even talk to her at the moment even if she were free. My eyes wandered to a pamphlet that read, “Think of all the things you could do!” on the cover. My mind repeated the question that had been burning inside of me all day. Finally, it escaped in a raspy, broken whisper that only I could hear.

“But what did I do?”