Information

Forget has a minion!

Orion the Astralflaik

Forget
Legacy Name: Forget

The

Angelic Jollin
Owner:

Opossum

Age: 18 years, 1 month, 3 weeks

Born: April 1st, 2006

Adopted: 6 years, 6 months, 1 week ago

Adopted: November 15th, 2017

Statistics

Level: 16
Strength: 20
Defense: 10
Speed: 11
Health: 13
HP: 0/13
Intelligence: 3
Books Read: 0
Food Eaten: 0
Job: Unemployed

"Pssst! Hey, hey you! Yeah. You! I've been told my page works best in Firefox with a 1042x768 Resolution, whatever that is! Anyway, I hope you enjoy your stay~"

:*: Overlay by

Chance :*:

Benji's Attributes
Name: Benjamin James
Nickname: Benji
Age/DOB: Was Never Born, his spirit form varies in age depending on what he feels like
Eyes: Hazel change from Brown to green
Hair colour: Black-Brown
Height/Weight: Depends on the form he takes
Sexual prefernce: Unknown
Ethnicity: Chinese and English
Race (human/anthro): Normal Human/ Fennec Fox
Most Common Human Form:

:heart: His likes :heart:

~Astrology
~Stars
~Shiny and glowing objects that remind him of the stars
~His parents

:unheart: His dislikes :unheart:
~Arguing
~Violence
~Seeing his mother upset or hurt
~Waiting for his time on Earth to arrive

The One Who Was Never Born...

I never really liked children, being female the stereotype and sexist thing to think is that once reaching the age to conceive a child one might think I'd go out and sleep with whom ever I desired and whoever I felt would "Do me Right." Well, that was far from the truth; I hated children. I always did, not too sure why either, maybe it was the fact of them being dependent all the time or always having to be under a watchful eye. Who knows? Maybe it's the fact I'm an only child.

Well, it wasn't until the year of 2008 I met someone I never felt I could trust start to tell my hopes and dreams, that was until I met the love of my life, the person I felt I could honestly trust the person the night of December 12th of 2009 would propose to me officially That man, that man was an amazing man I can tell you. Sure. He made his mistakes, he had a temper, we fought frequently but you know what? That was just part of the ride for me. When I was with him, I could smile and laugh when we had good times and cry on shoulder when things went wrong and have someone to be there as my venting board when I was pissed. I really loved him. Hell. I still do love the man.

But, there was always a quirk about him: he always wanted children I would always feel angry about the topic at first considering he brought it up for the first time a few months into our relationship then again he did bring up marriage as well at that time too, I can remember, he came back from going to the open air mall off the freeway a few minutes from where he lived and he called me and told me he was in charge of babysitting his mothers friend's baby boy. At first I laughed, he never really struck me as the kind of guy to take care of children let alone enjoy them and want a family. He told me how much he enjoyed pushing the baby in the stroller and how much he admired such a small fragile life and couldn't wait for his own to one day be born.

I sighed, wondering just what I had gotten myself into? I laughed and played along on how cute kids were, sure, they're cute I won't lie, I just adored small baby animals better personally I figured maybe the thoughts would drift away from his mind as time passed but I'll be damned if they didn't. And I'll attest to it, the damn man was gorgeous and persuasive as Hell...

So one afternoon we were walking through the mall when I seen a small little baby in a stroller being pushed through the isle of Barnes And Nobles. I was holding his hand and suddenly the grip grew tighter as I seen the stroller get pushed passed us as the young mother smiled. She walked by and I looked up to the man I loved so dearly and said "I can't wait until we have ourselves" He looked down to me and smiled, letting go of my hand and hugging me in the store, kissing the top of my head and said back to me happily "Neither can I, love, neither can I."

Ever since that day, I had always shown interest towards children, we both wanted one of our own, and we loved each other very much... And that was put to the test on that fateful December evening.

It was a cold and dark night, I had a yearbook photography shoot at the school's winter formal and he was forbidden to show by my parents... They never understood him like I did, I don't think anyone ever could They never even knew he was there at my friend's house, waiting for us to all meet up and go out to dinner before heading to the dance. He was dressed in normal street clothing; a maroon and black long sleeved T-Shirt and black jeans to me it didn't matter much at all what he wore, he was mine and that was all that mattered to me. We went to dinner and we both laughed and talked on the car ride there to the school. He gave me a sad look before I jumped out of the truck and asked "Could you just see if your teacher is there? If she's not can I come?" I can remember the stupid luck we always had when trying to be sneaky so I didn't even see a point in trying really I shook my head no as it started to rain, getting out of the vehicle I looked back at him and told him I'd call when I wanted him to come get me before we all headed to the bowling alley. He sighed heavily and fired the truck back up, leaning over the seat he kissed me and told me to get some great shots and be safe.

He drove away and I walked into the gym where the dance was going on and after about an hour and a half my feet were killing me after wearing high-heeled boots for six hours I caved and used my friend's phone and called him to come get me. Giving her the phone back I waited in the parking lot; the rain had cleared up so my dress and shoes stayed dry. The next thing I knew I see a small white convertible sports car pull up, I gave it a baffled look as it parked in front of me, the windows tinted and the dim lights of the parking lot only gave a silhouette of a man.
The shadow motioned to the door and I stood there for a moment and opened it, it was him his hair was fixed up and he was wearing a white pinstriped tuxedo... I. Could. Have. Died. Right there, he looked stunning. I kissed him softly on the lips and told him "Let's get the Hell outta here, my feet are killing me."

Driving away from the school I threw my shoes off and looked at him as he drove the car, he was so serious when he was focused. I giggled and he looked at he from the corner of his eye and gave a slight chuckle. "So, what do you want to do dear? We have an hour and some change 'til we have to meet everyone at the bowling alley," I really didn't know what I wanted to do. So we went to Starbucks and he bought me a small cup of coffee, smiling we sat in the parking lot and he held my hand, I kissed him on the cheek and soon, it started to rain.

We sat there and talked for the longest time then headed to the bowling alley and met up with a few of our friends and hung out as they played a few rounds. Eventually we went to Denny's and everyone ate and laughed, we we're all pretty hyped up considering it was almost 2 o' clock in the morning, but we didn't care, we were all happy couples having a great time that night.

Eventually we all parted ways and he figured it would be a great idea if we went back to his house while our other friends sorted out who was going home when in the parking lot. So we drove the sports car to his apartment and he snuck me into his bedroom, I was so nervous of his mother walking in and he pinned me down onto the bed and kissed me, and, and, and then... his cell phone started to ring, it was my friend who was locked out of her house because I happened to have her keys in the camera bag which was in the room with us. He gave a frustrated growl as he hung up the phone and glared at me as if I knew they weren't going to take five years dropping people off like they usually were!

So we traded cars, back into his red pickup truck as he sped down the freeway, he was angry and I could tell, which was out of character for him. Even on that subject, we arrived at my friend's house where I was supposed to spend the night. I got out of the car leaving the camera and the bag in the car, handing my friend the keys he burned out his tires and then realized my stuff was still there in the car. I screamed at him:

"STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE!" I had forgotten it was 3 in the morning in a nice neighborhood, Damn.

"Get your damn shit outta the car so I can go home then!" he growled back, my friend looked at me and went to the door.

"I'll be back, don't worry," I told her calmly, she just nodded and walked through the door as her boyfriend drove away.

I jumped into the passenger seat and gave him a dirty look, he growled and gave me a nasty snarl as he bared his teeth, he mumble "Just, leave, now," I kissed his cheek softly, I knew how he was, kill him with kindness and he'd just roll over and become his usual self. That didn't work tonight though oddly, he just stopped snarling and said softly "Where the hell are we going to talk about this?" and I sighed, then pointed to the nearby park. He drove there slowly, obviously realizing how pissed I was he made such a loud squealing noise near my friends house.

Sitting there near the park it was getting later, at first we squabbled a bit over why he was being such a bitch about not getting any, at first he was defensive and soon, he unbuckled his seat belt and plopped his head onto my lap and began to cry.

"What's wrong love?" I asked soothingly, I had gone form pissed to just sad now, I hated to see him upset.

"It's nothing, I just feel so socially awkward and... and... I just wanted to spend time alone with you and then stuff got all messed up," he sobbed softly.
"Awww. But dear! I'm here with you right now, don't be sad" I ran a hand through his hair and cuddled him softly.

"I suppose," he looked up and kissed me, "You know, I really Really love you dear, I can cry and get angry and show my emotional train wreck self to you and you're always there for me thank you"

"I love you too," I wiped away his tears and kissed his forehead softly, "And I'll always be here for you,"

Then things got really quiet, and I could hear a squeaking noise coming from him, I looked at the floorboard, my feet were killing me. He nudged me and I looked up at him, he pointed to the window space above his steering wheel, it read "I love you." I kissed him and whispered in his ear, "I love you too."

After he let me go, I looked out the window, hearing the squeaking sound again he nudged me again and pointed to the same spot. He had turned the phrase "I love you" to "Will You Marry Me?" I screamed in delight and hugged him tightly. I could've killed him though, making me fight with him and then doing this, men! I swear!

"Well, Will you love? You can pick out your ring in February. Any one you desire all right?" he smiled happily and held me close.

"Yes. Yes I will marry you!" I said, my eyes lined with the stinging feeling and warmth of tears.

We just sat there in the car, holding onto each other tightly as the sound of raindrops fell from the heavens above onto the window and metal making a relaxing pitter-patter sound. After a good twenty minutes or so, we found ourselves in a very, messy situation.
"H-Hey, you... you're gonna have to get off of me," he breathed heavily, dripping with sweat.

"I-I... I'm trying, I'm trying to just my dress is stuck, I groaned, it was stuck somewhere, I was trying to figure out where when.

He closed his eyes and a moan escaped his mouth, he tried to pick me up off of him but I bumped my head on the ceiling of the car. It hurt, really bad.
"Oh my god dear, are you okay?" he opened his eyes, his hands along my thighs from where he had lifted my weight the best he could.

"Y-yeah! Of course I am!" I chuckled, sure, I was fine for now, but later I started to feel strange.

After the rendezvous we shared that night, I didn't feel quite right, I woke up the next morning and my stomach hurt. My stomach gurgled and roared as if I was starving, I sat down to breakfast where I looked down at my plate; I wasn't too hungry but I ate a little bit. I kept living life like nothing was wrong, some days I would be more hungry than others and I'd have odd cravings for food but nothing too bizarre.

I was soon on Christmas vacation, my lover had recently got himself into a hit-and-run car crash with a parked car due to his anger. We were both upset and soon the strain began, but I was always there for him and told him things would work out even though the truck was crashed and it was impounded. He never believed me when I told him things would look up. Such a shame. I was right though, the next day after it was impounded it was relinquished to him for a not so bad fee of over $200 compared to the thoughts he had of it being impounded for a month and the price of getting it back being over $4,000... but that's beside the point.

I didn't see him for a few weeks, not because of not wanting to we talked on the phone daily but, it was always kept in secret from my parents because of a previous out bust he had had with his temper. He was banned from seeing or talking to me whenever my father was around, which was a strain on the two of us. He called me up on Christmas Eve pretty early, he sounded teary-eyed. I will never forget what he told me that day.
"Dear?" he said with a sniffle.

"Yeah. What's up?" I asked, walking out of the living room with the phone to my head.

"I apologized to the guy who's car I hit, I spilled my guts out and told him I didn't have anything, I'm just a stupid teenager who has no job or place to stay of his own besides his mom," he answered.

"And what happened?" I added, he was upset so I assumed the worst like they had gotten into a fight.

"The guy said he understood cause he was like me once, I can only hope he won't press too harsh of charges on me, Is your dad home?"

"Y-Yeah he is why do you ask?"

"You'll find out soon enough," he paused for a moment, I'll call you back,"

He hung up.

A few minutes later the doorbell rang, my father answered it and he gave me a dirty look from the hall, I could hear his voice as he spoke from the front yard. My father walked out of the door and was gone for a half hour. He then came back inside and sighed.

He told me what he said, he told me he was welcome to call me again and he'd go lighter on me being with him and we could go places together again. It felt like things had changed with a civilized talk! I was so happy and proud of my fiance, stepping up to a situation and dealing with it without loosing his temper.

He called me back after getting down the street to walk home, I picked up the phone happily and greeted him.

"So. My dad said he'd lighten up on us seeing each other, you wanna hang out tomorrow, spend Christmas together?" I asked.

"Well,I would love to but, my brothers are coming down and might be spending the night," he said.

"I understand. Family first." I chuckled, I knew he was a family oriented person and he hardly seen his brothers, it bothered me a bit but I let it go, it was the holidays after all and my family was chilled out now with the apology in tow so maybe my Christmas wouldn't be so bad after all.

I didn't talk to him when he reached his apartment, mainly because he had to clean up the house before everyone arrived. I bid farewell and called him a few hours later into the night, he told me that company was there and he had to help clean up after dinner and he'd call me back. Understandable. I let him go until later that night. We talked until midnight and then made it a competition to who would say "Merry Christmas" to the other first as soon as the clock struck midnight. I'd like to think I won but, we both said it at the same time.

I went to bed and woke up that morning; Nobody in my house said much to me, not even Merry Christmas that whole day. We had no tree or presents. My present was him, he called me later on that afternoon. He was such a heavy sleeper.

"Merry Christmas darlin'" he greeted me, he sounded really happy.

"Merry Christmas to you too dearie-kins!" I smiled as I held the phone to my face.

"I guess my brother left this morning while I was asleep, he's not here anymore,"

"Oh. So Whatcha going to do today then?"

"I'm going to sit around and play Rune Factory," Go figure. He was addicted to that game. I didn't really care much. I had Subeta as my fix.

I didn't bring up going out that day, mainly because of it being Christmas and either: 1. My folks would freak and be like "RAWR IT'S FAMILY TIME" which was crap since we can't even stand to all be in the same house or room together or 2. The shit hole town we live in has nothing to do anyways.

I zoned out badly for a few moments, blankly staring at the screen of my computer as I could hear him playing Rune Factory in the background. Then I spoke:

"So, did you get anything for Christmas?"

He replied with a few things, he mostly went into a tangent of his boots he had gotten. He knew I loved boots, military boots, ankle boots it didn't matter.

"So what did you get dear?" he said after a few minutes.

"Nothing."

"Really? Well. I have something to tell you,"

"What?"

"I love you and I want stuff to work for us, so I'm going to therapy again after the holidays,"

"Awww. Really?"

"Yep. I don't want you to be afraid of me for my temper, the shit I've done just makes it worse,"

"I'm not afraid of you though dear!"

"But who's to say in time my anger won't worsen and one day you will be afraid of me?"

"I suppose," I blinked, "Well, thanks dear,"

"No problem, I can't have my wife afraid of me now can I? Happy wife means happy life!" he chuckled.

I chuckled too. He was right, I was so hyped up on always being happy with him around and he knew it. I felt a bit sick at the time so I asked him if I could call him back, I could feel the acid building up in my stomach, perhaps it was something I ate? It make sense considering I had a frozen pizza earlier that afternoon before he called. After hitting the off button I went into the bathroom. And threw up my brains. I whipped my mouth and called him back after the stomach ache I had went away.

I never felt so sick in my life, he kept asking me that whole week if I wanted to see him for one of our nightly rendezvous, I declined all but once and even then he fell asleep when I was up waiting. I kept telling him I didn't feel right, about the situation and was worried we would get caught if he showed. Little did he know it was because I was so ill. It was horrid.

I can remember the night I told him I wanted to see him, he said he'd show up and he didn't, he said he fell asleep and I can believe that, half-heartedly anyways. The next morning I had called him, a bit angry with the fact he didn't show but he seemed like he was just waking up so I let him be. He yawned and told me this last thing during the daylight hours:

"Hey Dear?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I call you back when I wake up more and after I take a shower?"

"Sure." I nodded.

"All right. Talk to you in a few, I love you dear."

"I love you too dear," I turned the phone off.

I waited by that damn phone for hours, literally, I soon fell asleep at midnight that night only to be woken up at 3 o' clock in the morning by the sound of tapping on my window. It was him! I sprang out of bed and opened the window, he was there, wet from the rain and his head hung low.

I offered him to come inside but oddly he declined. He told me his mother hated me because she found out about us having sex and that we couldn't be together anymore. He also added he might be going to prison over the hit-and-run. I didn't believe him at first so I ran outside and hugged him. I started to cry.

"You will come back for me once you get out right dear?" I said, sobbing into his shirt.

"Of course, as soon as I get out I'll come right back for you darling, and we'll get married, and I'll get enrolled in the Coast Guard, we can start our lives out of here,"

"I can't wait," I looked up at him, "I love you, I always will and I will find you if you leave for prison,"

We kissed, passionately and sorrowfully at the same time. I held onto his arms and wept, my life was falling apart just when I thought stuff was going to look up for us.

After talking outside for a few minutes his demeanor changed and soon he became aggressive and told me he didn't love me anymore. I thought he was doing it to make me mad so I'd forget about him while he was away. But, it was all a lie.

I called his phone the next day and a woman picked up, she sounded slightly familiar, she played it off like she was one of his mother's friends and I believed her and told her about most of what we had went through. She told me give him time and he would return since we we're engaged. However the bitch was my ex-friend from two years ago, someone my fiance said he hated with a passion.

A few days went by and soon I was back in school, I showed my friend my stomach and asked her if I looked pregnant because I was noticing streach marks on my stomach for the past couple of weeks and clothes were starting to fit strangely on me. The next day she brought a pregnancy test. It was positive. I told my friend to not tell anybody and of course, she kept it to herself.

I tried to call him that night, and the next night, and soon it was the end of the week. No response, and I left him a voicemail saying call me. He never got it I guess. On that Friday night I felt so bizarre, sure, I wasn't eating or sleeping due to the stress of him leaving but I figured that was normal. I could feel my stomach making a swooshing sound when I inhaled, my friend who was four months pregnant told me it was early development and not to worry. So I didn't, until the fucking phone kept ringing, it was her that BITCH was calling my house non-stop the night before and now that night, I unplugged my phone from the wall and cried. I was pregnant and the father of the child was not in the picture at all.

I cried until I threw up almost, my stomach ached and my head throbbed in pain. I walked into the bathroom to relieve myself and when I pulled down my jeans a loud THUMP was heard, I looked down and there, on the floor was a giant palm-sized bloody sac of tissue. I picked it up and stared at it for the longest time, it was nasty. I knew what it was though, a friend of mine told me that it could happen but, no. I couldn't be, then again, the stress? Maybe.

I held it in my hand and tears welled up in my eyes, it was it. It was a miscarriage, and it was all her fault she was such a life wrecker and such a slut, and now, and now shit got even more personal.

After throwing the evidence in the toilet and getting rid of it, I cried. Then plugged my phone back into the wall and called my friend who had been keeping it a secret, she was so upset. Then the phone was telling me another call was on the other line, private number, it was her again. I told my friend I wasn't going to answer it. I was not wanting to deal with shit.

"You should answer and see what she wants, if she's mean to you again just hang up," she told me. I agreed and switched lines.

"Hello?" I said, still choked up.

"Yeah. It's me, tell me what the fuck is going on?" it was him. I cried more when I heard it wasn't her.

"Don't give me any shit, I just lost our child and it's your pysco bitch's fault for stressing me out and yours!" I snapped.

"What?!" he roared.

"Yeah! I was pregnant with YOUR baby and now it's dead! It's your fault!" I cried so hard I started to hypervenhilate.

"You sure it was mine?"

"NO DUH IT WAS YOURS!" I screamed. I couldn't believe this was happening.

"Wh- wel..." his voice drifted off.

"I'm a failure, I can't even carry a kid! What kind of woman am I!?" I started to beat myself up.

"A very heartbroken woman, and I'm sorry, I... I... And it's the most sorrowful and regret filled apology a man can give. It can be redone though,"

"No it can't! You're with HER," I slammed my fists on the table. I couldn't understand where his logic was.

He sighed. Then asked me if I had proof of any sort, I was up shit creek, all I had was word of mouth from my friend and I knew he wouldn't accept that, he told me he wanted to talk more about it but I refused to tell him any more, I didn't want to deal with him right now. I just cried more and more, tears lined my face, I was alone.

And I was so hurt...

I heard him sigh again, then whisper sorry and the phone clicked off. I just sat there, motionless and numb for the longest time, for hours until my mom told me to go to bed, I lay there, awake and barely blinking. It hurt to breathe even. I felt like the most sorriest, most disgusting piece of filth on earth. When I couldn't stand it anymore I rose from my bed and walked outside.

It was a cold January evening, there was a thin layer of fog that engulfed the backyard and there was still a light shower going on. I let the rain hit me and sting my eyes as I looked up to the sky, in some patches between the rolling clouds the stars were shining through. I started to cry again as my hair started to stick flush against my forehead and neck. The stars were so beautiful, and they just reminded me of how he and I would look at the same night sky, how we all looked at the same night sky. Every single person.

"Mama?" I heard a small voice speak. I looked around and saw nothing, then the voice spoke again "Mama, I love you, please don't be sad, I'll always be with you until I'm ready to come to earth, it's not my time right now. Mama, just look to the stars, I'm up there, I'll always be looking over you."

Surely I was losing my sanity, but I listened to the little voice. It was a little boy, I always wanted a little boy as my first child. We had talked about it before and decided on the name Benjamin if we ever had a boy. I started to cry harder "Benji, I'm so sorry you're dad did all this"

"Mama, I'm not mad at daddy, tell him I love him too and I'll see him someday"

I didn't understand exactly if the voice was messing with me or not with that last statement, but I nodded in agreement. The rain started to fall harder and soon the stars were harder to see.

It's okay though, I know everything will be all right eventually, the struggle only makes me stronger... Maybe my torn apart relationship will come back together, piece by piece but I can't depend on it happening. Still, I don't think I can ever forget this feeling.

It's just nice to know my little boy is my guardian angel in the mean time, I look to the stars and I can always think of him.

:*: :*: :*:

:*: Art for Benjamin :*:

:*: Benjamin's Theme :*:
"Yellow" by Coldplay
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh all the things I've done
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
Do you know you know I love you so
You know I love you so,

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh all the things you do
Cause you were all yellow

I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
Do you know for you I bleed myself dry
For you I bleed myself dry

Its true look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine
look at the stars look how they shine for you