TotalBiscuit
Legacy Name: TotalBiscuit

• Pet name: TotalBiscuit
• Name: John Peter Bain
• Lived: July 8, 1984 – May 24, 2018

The final shadow that will close my eyes
Will in its darkness take me from white day

I don’t know the exact date that I discovered John’s podcast Blue Plz! but it must have been either 2008 or 2009. Not sure how I stumbled upon it but it was my first introduction to John Bain aka TotalBiscuit (as well as TotalHalibut and the Cynical Brit as he was also known). It was in the early days of my World of Warcraft gaming and I was very keen to learn what I could about what Blizzard was doing and I think that’s how I found that podcast. I liked the way he didn’t shy away from saying what he thought about changes that were being made to the game. It was refreshing to me. And after a while I started watching his Youtube videos as well. I think I must have seen every single one he made during the beta of the Cataclysm expansion.
TotalBiscuit spoke to me because in many ways we thought the same. And we had the same kind of humor as well. Throughout all of the countless hours of Youtube videos he made that I’ve watched, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve laughed. He brightened up my day every time.

and instantly untie the soul from lies
And flattery of death, and find its way

He wasn’t afraid to tell gaming companies what they were doing wrong, or what they could do better. If he found a company that was trying to screw the gamers over he never shied away from calling them out on it. He was always keen on keeping his viewers informed about the important issues in the gaming community. And he informed us about what he felt a company had done right, or wrong, with the titles that he critiqued. He was always honest, which led to some people being rubbed the wrong way. But the industry needed a voice like his to speak up for the consumers. Gaming companies needed to hear that it wasn’t okay for them to do stuff that would ultimately only line their pockets instead of providing a fun and engaging experience for the people that buy their games.

and yet my soul won’t leave its memory
of love there on the shore where it has burned:

John Bain is the reason why I got into watching gaming videos on Youtube. And now it’s the type of video that I watch the most. And John very much influenced which Youtubers/gamers that I watch today. I remember watching one of his videos where he recommended his viewers to check out Lewis and Simon of the Yogscast and their channel BlueXephos. I did, and to this day Yogscast videos are the ones that I mostly fill my days with. Sure, some of their videos irritate me, as does some particular members of the Yogscast, but considering how much joy they’ve given me since I started watching their content I can easily forgive them for a handful of videos that rubbed me the wrong way.
TotalBiscuit also introduced me to another Youtuber that has enriched my life significantly, and that is Jesse Cox. I love how chipper he is most of the time and, like with TotalBiscuit, I share Jesse’s type of humor. Now, Jesse has also introduced me to others that I now watch constantly. Mainly Wowcrendor.

my flame can swim cold water and has learned
to lose respect for laws’ severity

If it wasn’t for TotalBiscuit and the influence he’s had on my life I don’t know where I’d be today. Without all of the laughs and wonderful moments I’ve had these last 10 years thanks to him and the people I’ve found thanks to him I...well, quite frankly I think I would have been a miserable person and probably quite depressed. He and the others that are now in my life are like rays of sunshine in my life every day.

My soul, whom a God made his prison of,
my veins, which a liquid humor fed to fire,

And it wasn’t just Youtubers that I found thanks to John Bain either. While listening to/watching one of the early episodes of the Co-optional Podcast he mentioned an artist that calls himself Miracle of Sound. I got curious and looked him up and ever since that day I’ve been a huge fan. I love the songs he makes, especially the ones that are references to games.

my marrows, which have gloriously flamed,
will leave their body, never their desire;

I found out about John’s passing only hours after it happened. I was fetching the link to an image on Imgur when I saw a picture of John on the front page. Naturally I clicked on it and subsequently read that he had died. My eyes started tearing up in an instant. I knew he didn’t have much time left because of his liver shutting down after the cancer spread to it, but I had hoped that he at least had a bit more time to live. Even now, every time I think about him and that he’s gone I start crying. Few people that I’ve never actually met have had such an impact on my life as John did. I literally wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for him.

they will be ash but ash in feeling framed;
they will be dust but will be dust in love.

To anyone that doesn’t know who he was I highly recommend you to look him up on Youtube. If you’re at all interested in gaming (and PC gaming in particular) it most likely will be worth a watch for you.

You will always be in my heart, John Bain. Thank you for the entertainment and enlightenment you’ve given me for so many years. The world won’t be the same without you. I will miss you forever. And I hope that wherever you are now that you are without pain and able to play as much games as you want ♥️

Credits

Text by me. Poem is Love Constant Beyond Death by Francisco Gomez de Quevedo. Overlay by Shiny. Starcraft ©Blizzard Entertainment.