What happened to us humble field researchers, you may ask? We are still in the field, clipboards in hand. Budget cuts have reduced our number to eight and we have each been assigned a part of speech.
I got nouns. The demi in the office next to mine got conjunctions. I really want to punch that guy in the face.
Each new entry must be no longer than four lines, and I am to limit my research to items not familiar to even the youngest Subetan. For instance, we are all familiar with the Aemis, a legendary bow with the power of hurricane winds but the Accordion is an item that caused great bewilderment when it was introduced to the Sacred Lands for the first time.
I must first locate the item that is my current focus. I must study it in great detail and record every single one of those details so I can give the most accurate description possible. My entry might look something like this:
Accordion
A fascinating musical instrument, the accordion is often overlooked for the colorful variety of sounds it brings to Subeta's music scene. This one-of-a-kind instrument comes in a glossy black that is easily customizable with a few strokes of a magic eraser or extra stickers not required to fill slots in your album. When played by a master musician, this wondrous instrument gives one the feeling of sitting on the bank of a canal with one's sweetheart, listening to the distant strains of a love song. In amateur hands, it is more likely to remind one of a very angry feli with a clumsy owner and a sore tail.
Well, it is four lines.
The first round of editing will undoubtedly cut my beautiful prose in half, leaving me sitting up for three nights with the drink special of the day from Libertine Lounge. I will call my editor around two in the morning to ask in what possible way I have insulted her. She has gotten wise to my routine and her phone will be off.
The second round will be even more brutal. A mortiking or velosotor in a business suit will question my use of half the words not already slain by the red pen. My poor article will limp back to me and I will bandage it as best I can.
The final edit will neatly remove any witty phrases that have survived to this point. The entry that makes it into the new edition will run something like this:
Accordion
A musical instrument that utilizes keys and buttons to produce sound.
Lines as dry as ruffie kibble are organized into neat columns read only by bored students required to define the object they are required to write a report on. The head of BmB will rage at the head editor, demanding to know why profits are going down. She will scratch her head and demand a two-hour coffee break to think the matter over, a break that will ultimately lengthen into a two-week vacation on Delphi Beach.
Maybe I should take up accordion playing.
Story by Pureflower
Profile by Lethal