Zefram Cochrane has a minion!

Lily the Rreignwyrm

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You know... they say the first contact with another alien race here on Earth was recorded as April 5th 2063. But really, they'd been here way, way earlier than that. And no... I don't mean those pesky future federation stiffs that showed up trying to "help" me neither. This was a real, honest to god, freaky, deaky alien, not some humanoid with weird shaped ears!!! Let me pour myself another drink and I'll tell ya all about it!

You see, it all started way back when Lily & I were scrounging up some of those thick metal sheets for what was to become the warp engine on my new space ship Phoenix. I must admit... I did have a few more shots than usual of that amazing maple whiskey Lily gave me as a gift that night, but... Lily was there that night too and she can tell you the whole thing was true! Anyways... where was I? (downs next shot)... oh right! So there we were... sneaking around that old factory they'd closed down years back... you know, the one they'd used to make those creepy ass robot drones for the war? I know, you're thinkin' that looters probably'd gone through the place ages ago, but we (well, mostly Lily) figured there should be some of that heavier stuff they didn't think of as being useful. So we went looking for that.

So anyways (pours next drink), we're sneaking in there, all quiet-like and we managed to find an entryway big enough for us to slither through. Lily did grumble a bit about ripping her favourite shirt, but we managed not to get seen. This place was still as creepy even after being looted. There were strange stains scattered around the floor, with pockmarks from whatever acidic shit they'd been messing with, and work benches that still glowed from the fuels they had produced. I'll tell you... not a single drop of that shit went anywhere near MY space ship (gulps shot down, pours another)... no sirree! (belches)

I wanted to split up so we could search more areas, but Lily for some reason decided this was a bad idea. After a few moments of us deciding to split or not, we finally made our way together into the main processing area. Lily then spotted what looked like a large containment unit and felt this could be useful for something on the new ship. I concurred and we crept forward. We were sneaking even though it was abandoned because there were still loonies out there who figured the war was still going on, and if they found you, you better not be on the wrong side because whoooooie, they would do some nasty crap to you! Oh, they never killed anyone, at least, not at first... but you'd eventually wish to hell you'd die just to get the torture over with (chugs drink). So we were quiet in case any of them had taken a liking to this place as their next hellhole.

As we got closer to the unit it we noticed it was glowing faintly on the one side. I thought it was just more of that toxic fuel crud dripped on it, but Lily had other ideas. We circled round when I saw the iced up window I was gobsmacked! This wasn't just any ol' containment unit, but a stasis chamber... and somehow the looters had missed it! (pours another drink, looks forlornly at the now empty bottle) Dang... we're runnin' on empty now (looks ecstatic when you offer to buy him another bottle) Well, anyhoo... we sees this green glow, which wasn't the same glow as that leftover fuel shit, so we decide to investigate this even more. We managed to figure out that it must have it's own power source as there's nothing plugged into it... no cords, no external devices, nothing. Just smooth, seamless... well, except for where that iced up window was... and best of all, it had wheels! (chugs drink, looks on happily as 2nd bottle is brought)

So Lily & me decide to wheel the whole thing back to my lab. Okay, technically *I* wanted to push it, but Lily was having none of it. She felt it would be darn near impossible since we'd crawled through a few small tunnels and climbed a few fences to get here. I was still feeling good from the Maple Whiskey I'd snuck out with me and had been sippin' during our trek here... so I managed to sweet talk Lily into helping me push it anyways. I'm still not sure how we got out of there in one piece as we made such a damn racket, I was so sure the dead would be coming out to tell us to shut the hell up. I must admit, either we were so pumped on adrenaline or this thing was way lighter than it shoulda been (pours drink, downs it in one gulp)

We got to our first technical difficulty... the small tunnel we had only just squeezed through. Looking at the unit I was pretty certain it wasn't making the trip. I was frustrated, and slapped at the unit in my anger. I must have hit a control panel and this strange section on the device started glowing yet another colour. It had this gibberish gobbledygook all running across it, and leaning on the unit I yelled that I just wanted this damn thing in my lab. All I can say is I'm glad Lily had her hand on the machine because next thing we know a bright flashing light enveloped us, my head started hurting and suddenly we're blinking from the almost as bright fluorescents hanging in my lab. I was so shocked I landed on my ass! (pours drink)

After a few minutes I managed to get up off the floor. Lily was still freaking about how we moved and babbled about that we must be dead. I manoeuvred her into my favourite chair, shoved the flask of the whiskey under her nose... to which she grabbed it and chugged like there was no tomorrow. (chugs current drink down, pours another) While she was busy calming down I investigated the unit. Under the brighter lights the glow was not as easily seen. I found the window and the same panel that had the gobbledygook. But this time is looked like some of the words were now English! Reading this it was definitely a stasis machine, and not only was it still working, but it was occupied! After messing with the panel some more I managed to figure out this thing had been around for a hell of a long time... way back before the third war had even thought of starting (chugs drink).

By this time Lily had finally calmed down enough to move from the chair. I wanted to open it, but at my mention of that Lily began freaking out again. We had a bit of an argument and long story short, she finally agreed to let me open it. I played with the panel some more and figured out there was a way to "thaw" whatever was inside, but it would take time. So I figured we had enough time to go have dinner. Lily said we should stick around, just in case, but I told her the timing was in hours. Damn if I was wrong though... I kinda miscalculated and it was actually only several minutes, not the several hours I'd assumed.

(to be continued)

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