Information

Minkachu has a minion!

Minion the Benny Bun

Minkachu
Legacy Name: minkachu

The Nostalgic Manchu

Owner: Paula

Age: 6 years, 8 months, 1 week

Born: September 11th, 2017

Adopted: 1 year, 11 months, 2 weeks ago

Adopted: June 5th, 2022

Pet Spotlight Winner
August 21st, 2023

Statistics

• Level: 60
   
• Strength: 150
   
• Defense: 150
   
• Speed: 149
   
• Health: 150
   
• HP: 149/150
   
• Intelligence: 21
   
• Books Read: 21
• Food Eaten: 18
• Job: Inventory Tracker

CREDITS

Profile template (c) helix (get yours here);
Free background from Wallpapers.Net;
Story by Pureflower;
Art by Gengaar.

Just one in a sea of lost souls being swept along by a current of flesh and bone.

You are one of the thousands of employees at JobCo.

You put on your generic suit like a simulated person with orders to wear the blue tie today, not the red. Sipping your coffee is the same automated process you've gone through for the last 18 years. The one time you tried a flavor outside the norm, you ended up with a stomach ache so bad, you vowed never to do anything like that again.

Now you are making your way through ten thousand other foot traffic pedestrians in a bustling metropolis of three million. They all have the same dead gaze, the same tired shuffle, that unmistakable stench of people barely getting by while pretending they are the cream of the middle class. Every advertisement for sports cars or the latest and greatest electronics a reminder that you are insignificant but if you struggle it out for another year or ten, maybe the smile on your face will match those on the faces of the smiling figures literally larger than life. Each tooth on that peppy blonde woman's smile is larger than your front door. You want to be like her. Always smiling. Never miserable over your almost-empty refrigerator or where you'll come up with the money to pay your taxes this year.

The pursuit of happiness shuffles on, taking you along for the ride.

You test drive the convertible it would take you three lifetimes to afford. You're sure there are a couple of people on Thatcher Avenue who work in your office. Isn't that Mary from accounting? Surely that's Roy from shipping. They will report on your serious increase in stature. Your boss will give you that raise and promotion that's been out of your grasp these past three agonizing years. You really will be able to afford such luxury!

Handing the keys back to that smug salesman is not so painful, knowing that within a few days, a week tops, you'll be the one smirking at him!

Days pass. Weeks. Months.

Your hopes are dashed. Every day is another excuse to be crushed up against the windows of the subway car like that last sardine somehow magically crammed into the can.

You turn once more to the advertisements and see a golden bottle. A bottle that promises magic. The brand name: Pursuit of Happiness.

Liquid sunshine in your mouth. For a time, you really do feel like those people on your favorite programs. Carefree. Suave. Clever.

Until a little sip here and there is no longer enough.

Your crowd of friends is a muddled watercolor that fades to brown and gray. One evening, you find yourself standing under a bridge, clutching a glass bottle with only a few golden droplets still swimming at the bottom. You cast it aside in disgust.

Yet the emptiness continues.

An advertisement on a TV screen at the pawn shop. Smiling faces. The promise of a better tomorrow.

The way you're feeling, it doesn't take much to convince a doctor.

For the first time in months... No, make that years... You feel a joy you haven't known since childhood. The world looks brighter. Even in the gutter clutter, you see the bright green of bottle caps and the neon pink of a discarded hair ribbon.

Color starts to drain away again when the bills start coming in.

They keep coming. Will they ever stop?

The world reduced back to gray and brown until...

A flash of green at the corner of your vision. Your salvation!

You follow that promise of all the money you could ever need. You are entranced, almost blind to the blaring of horns and the muttered curses of all the other little puppets forced into the corporate dance. Surely, this time you will come out on top. Surely, this magical solution will put an end to all your strife and disprove the futility of your misguided pursuit.

You raise your eyes to the sign. Surely this place, this glorious end to your noble quest, must have a name like Happiness.

The sign is one word not even close to happiness.

You wander inside. You take your seat at the same old desk, start up the same old ornery computer and stare at the never-ending list of emails that will continue to grow even past your dying day. One more soul, silently screaming.

Pet Treasure

Onion Buddies

Embezzlement Carrot

Fraud Raddish

Money Laundering Turnip

Toofy

Rivenghe Egg

Smiley Sausage

Smiley Pie

Smiley Salad Sandwich

Smiley Cookie

Smiley Cheese

Smiley Pineapple

Smiley Pear

Smiley Cherry

Geeky Cupcakes

Smiley Orange

Spudd

Smiley Carrot

Smiley Banana

Smiley Strawberry

Smiley Broccoli

Reborn Turnip

Cheezbord

Emug

Cutesy Funnel

Full of Joy Magic Lamp

Roasted Avocutie

Good Egg

Lord Coffee Bean

Jack Rabbit Candy Buddy

Carrot Buddies

Squishy Squash Plushies

Plastic Dillema Vesnali Eggs

Sweet Oranges Beanbag

Perfect Pear

Tacoboutus

Love Victim Taco

Puzzled Taco Beanbag

Fun Bun Cake

Phoever

Porri

Smiley Lime

Shytake

Smiley Dollop

Eggus

Sad Egg

Chickie Dollop Cupcake

Igglybuu

Sleepy Yolk

Purple Bunny Hard Candy

Golden Bunny Cookies

Beet Warriors

Gangster Onion

Bad Seed

Scary Devilish Egg

Devilish Egg

Black Foggy Pumpkin

Evil Pie

Minsnull

Cranky Corn Dog

Disgruntled Sausage Plushie

Kamikaze Wasabi

Pe-Nut the Disturbingly Happy Minion

Bad Candy

Evil Potato Plushie

Zushi

Baby Sushi

Smiley Sushi

Smiley Soup

Smiley Pea

Smiley Beef Burger

Smiley Lemon

Smiley Egg

Smiley Tomato

Smiley Cupcake

Smiley Apple

Smiley Tropical Juice

Smiley Drumstick

Smiley Steak

Smiley Marshmallow

I-Love-You Pizza Slice Plushie

I-Love-You Sausage Ham and Mayo Sammich

Happy Nuggets

I-Love-You Lamington

Tiny I-Love-You Pumpkin

Teeny Pie Minion Disguised Bomb

Suave Onion

Smiley Avocado

Strawberry Blub

Rawr Blub

Cube Blub

Raddish Blub

Cherry Blub

Ember Blub

Crispy Marshmallow Blub

Cauldron Blub

Turnip Blub

Mercury Blub

Sun Blub

Bubble Gum Blub

Potater Blub

Sun Blob Candy

Glacier Turnip

Onion Blub

Pumpkin Pie Blub

Great White Pumpkin Blub

Caramel Apple Blub

Kohlrabi Blub

Twirly Gourd Blub

Inky Cap Mushroom Blub

Moon Blub

Rum Bloba

Peppermint Blub

Blub Cube

Blood Blub

Eddie Bell Sure Bet Cute Popsicle Prop

Yummy Lollipop Beanbag

Yummy Wrapped Candy Beanbag

Slimy

Maplestaery

Karak

Happy Muffin

Batty Bonbon

Candi

Cinnaman

Autumn Dragon Blub

Asparagus Blub

Fried Egg Blub

Annoying Singing Blub

Campfire Weiner Blub

Amanita Mushroom Blub

Mintobe

Apeeling

Beanthinkinofu

Shy Seacucumber

Hartbeet

Luvalatte

Happy Clam

Pizzamahart

Dandy Candy

Olivyu

Mallow

Baublebut

Flack Seed

Flour Seed

Geeky Fruit

Ghostly Cotton Candy

Baked Flat Fish

Chibi Fruit

Peary

Delectable

Roaming Gelatin

Sadshimp

Mintie

Piefish

Sodilume

PO-TA-TIS

Pumpkin All Legs

Staer

Feroot

Smoreluvin

Slicelius Pie Minion

Singing Pie Minion

Happy Little Peach-Pie

Super-Pie Magician

Evil Pie Minion

Evil Pie Beanbag

Angelic Pie Minion

Bitten Pie Minion

Cheery Cherry Pie Minion

Clusterflux Infected Turnip

Undead Turnip

Lobotomeat Infected Turnip

Nightmare Turnip

The Vapors Infected Turnip

Rave Turnip

Outer World Turnip

Pet Friends

Mony
*SIGH* I miss you.

Ghott
Oh if only...