GlitterWave has a minion!

Jitterbeat the Beat

“Hello energetic teen Subetans! This is your host: GlitterWave! I'm here to tell all about prom fails! We report them back to you so you don’t have to experience them yourself!”

GlitterWave, an angel ontra, was on the air with her podcast, Prom Problems 101. For two years she had presented stories and anecdotes from listeners about the infamous prom night.

“Well, here’s our first story of the hour. To be fair, this prom tale is pretty tame compared to others that we have on this show. Apparently this young shy Ghostly concocted a prom-posal for his long-time high-school crush. He’s a theatre maniac, so he selected a song from a play to serenade his crush with before asking her to prom. Apparently the song was Lady Come Down.” Glitterwave began. “I just so happen to have the song here with me today, so I’ll play an excerpt.”

Within a few seconds, the first stanzas of Lady Come Down began to play.

The western wind is blowing fair
Across the dark Aegean sea,
And at the secret marble stair
My Tyrian galley waits for thee.
Come down! the purple sail is spread,
The watchman sleeps within the town,
O leave thy lily-flowered bed,
O Lady mine come down, come down!

Glitterwave turned down the music and stated, “Personally, this song was an excellent choice to serenade a girl with! Kinda romantic honestly. His crush, a blacklight Harvester, tends to hang out at the outdoor courtyard in the local mall in their town. So the shy Ghostly got some of his fellow theatre students and some members of the school music class together to perform the song in the outdoor courtyard. After a few weeks of practice, they were finally ready to perform.

"A week before prom night, two of the ghostly’s friends learned that the blacklight harvester was going to be at the mall that Saturday to buy tickets for a concert of a hot rock band that would be coming to town within the next several months. The band found the harvester and her friends in the outdoor courtyard as expected. The harvester and her friends were in a joyful tizzy about being able to get their tickets for the upcoming concert, which would be held at the local skate park.

Our serenader reports that as the band was playing the song, a crowd of mall goers began to form. Several of them had whipped out their phones to film the performance. Eventually the band finished their performance and the ghostly asked the big question. Well, my dear listeners…."

"She said no. The blacklight Harvester reportedly called the song cheesy. The harvester’s friends laughed as she rejected the prom date offer. They all then left the courtyard without a word."

"I feel bad for our little theater ghostly. Ironically the song has lines about how the singer’s beloved won’t come because she doesn’t care at all about the lover’s pain,” Glitterwave mused, shaking her head as she pulled up the next horror story.

“Next we have a girl facing quite the hair-raising issue as prom night approaches. Young Bella, a sun demi, is dealing with hair loss during her teen years due to a medical condition. Naturally, Bella is very self-conscious as a result of her hair loss. Bella wanted to strengthen her hair prior to prom night, so she began asking some of her friends if they knew about any hair products that could accomplish the job. One of them gave Bella some shampoo that was said to revitalize hair by removing toxins from the scalp."

“‘And look! I got you different scents! You can make your hair smell like kiwi or strawberry!’ said the friend.”

“Bella asked her friend how she had so much shampoo. The friend responded that her mother bought the shampoo quite frequently, so she had boxes of them lying around the house.”

Glitterwave pondered why someone would have that much shampoo as she continued narrating.

“The demi washed her hair with the shampoo for several weeks until one day she noticed a great deal of hair falling off. Bella was horrified. She knew that she had properly followed the instructions for using shampoo, so she couldn’t fathom why her hair was falling out. Bella did some research on the company that made the shampoo and was horrified to learn that many of its clients had suffered hair loss due to using their products! Bella was livid and confronted her friend about what she had learned. The friend responded that her mom had been trying to sell the shampoo for months but had gotten very few buyers. Desperate, the friend’s mom had asked her to hand out some of the products as “free samples” in order to get new customers.”

Glitterwave shook her head as she continued, “Bella is requesting advice on what to do now. She’s deathly afraid of having any of her hair fall out at the prom, so she’s considering not attending if she can’t find a way to remedy her bad hair day within the next month. Well, listeners, send your advice into the comments section and I’ll read them this Friday!”

Glitterwave then read one final story. A dusk celinox ended up throwing up in the limo on the way to prom. The vomit ended on her dress and the tuxes of three of the guys in the limo with her. Turns out she had gotten food poisoning from eating her aunt’s cooking three days earlier. In the end, the dusk celinox had to go home because she managed to throw up again at the prom check-in.

After finishing the last horror story, Glitterwave bid goodbye to her listeners and ended the podcast.

---

When she had first started her podcast, Glitterwave had been interested in hearing all the various anecdotes about how prom didn’t live up to someone’s expectations. Growing up, the angel ontra had heard from her relatives about their prom experiences. Many of them described the night as an incredible experience, citing that if you skipped prom or didn’t do prom “right” it would be among your regrets in life. Most of the prom fails from Glitterwave’s family were typically embarrassing moments such as ripping a dress or looking uncool in front of a crush. And the ontra had indeed seen incidents like that in today’s proms.

But Glitterwave had been rather surprised when she learned of people who didn’t care about prom night. And it seemed that the number of people who didn’t go was rising in recent years. These prom-skippers also didn’t seem to regret not going either. In fact, during today’s podacast, GlitterWave had made a shoutout to listeners who had messaged her various video rants about the prom. These rant tended to say the same things: prom was overrated. There was too much drama surrounding the choice of a prom date, the tuxes and dresses were far too expensive, and the atmosphere of the prom often wasn’t even that good. Glitterwave had heard of bland punch and food being served as well as horrific music that killed the dancing mood at proms.

In her mind, the angel ontra recalled a specific comment on the live chat feed that had made her smile. Someone had posted the last several stanzas of “Lady Come Down” as Glitterwave had finished narrating the twilight ghostly prom fail:

She will not come, I know her well,
Of lover’s vows she hath no care,
And little good a man can tell
Of one so cruel and so fair.
True love is but a woman’s toy,
They never know the lover’s pain,
And I who loved as loves a boy
Must love in vain, must love in vain.

Despite all the chaos that surrounded prom night, Glitterwave had always been amused by the witty remarks related to the stories she read. Glitterwave had come to conclude that prom wasn’t really the pinnacle of adolescence that many movies glorified it as, but the ontra still wanted to help teen Subetans avoid awkward situations on that night.

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The song "Lady Come Down" is from "The Importance of being Earnest".