» MISTER NOTHING «

“You shouldn’t get so attached to me Emi; you just-… because of what could happen to you if you do…”

“Dee, it isn’t something you can control or do on purpose though…” In all this time I had never seen him so depressed; I outstretched my arm in attempt to gently stroke his cheek to help soothe him, but he turned away from it like some undeserving animal. This only stung my heartstrings more. “Please don’t be like that…” I pleaded desperately with him.

“You know you’re putting yourself in danger…”
“I do. I don’t mind the risk, as long as it’s you…”
“Why?”

That was a silly question. Wasn’t it obvious Dee? I thought silently to myself as I caressed his chin in the palm of my hand, and turned his head until he was looking at my face. “It would just be plain silly to give you up over the possibly of what may or may not happen. Isn’t that obvious?” I cooed softly.

He shrugged his shoulders, “You’re putting too much trust in me Emi. I don’t know if I can handle all of that trust…”

Those words hurt more than ever. “Well, I guess you’re just going to have to learn to cope with it then; I’m not leaving you over what may or may not happen.” I replied with a tone dripping in sass.

My attempt to lighten his mood failed, and miserably by the expression on his face. “I’m not as worthy of that trust as you think I am.” He replied, taking hold of my wrist (the one caressing his chin) gently with a look of “will you really stay?” in his eyes. My own watering now with tears threatening to overflow.

My eye lids lowered, showing very plainly my pain for him. “You do deserve it. Every ounce of it.” My voice cracked, but it was almost unnoticeable. “You’re a much better person than you give yourself credit for…”

“I may be but when-… when I snap that all vanishes.” I could tell he was slipping further and further away from me and getting deeper and deeper into depression by the tone of his voice. “I don’t want to be the one responsible for hurting you…”

I frowned as I stared into those eyes of his; searching them for words, the right words, to make him understand my reasoning. But it wasn’t there and it would never be there. My free hand cupped his cheek. “I wish I could say the words to make you understand how I feel, to make you see it threw my eyes. But I can’t.” I drew a deep breath and let it out. “I can only fathom how, if something happened to me by your hands, how much that would eat at you. But to me, threw my eyes, it isn’t your fault. You can’t control it.” I paused. “I know what I am getting myself into by staying with you.” I paused again; stroking his cheek gently. “But you know- nothing you could do to me in that state of mind could hurt me worse then seeing you beating yourself up over something you couldn’t control.”

I could only hope he was trying to understand what I meant as he looked down and then after a moment I felt his hands pulling me down into his lap and pulling me against himself. “Damn it Emi…” His tone was soft and yet angered but I didn’t get the feeling that the anger was directed at me.

All I could do was stay silent and stroke his cheek as he held me against himself. I wish there was some magic word that would make him feel “better”; something I could do for him. But what was there to say or do in a situation like this? Nothing.

Well, there was something I could do. I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing but it seemed right to me. And so I sat up onto my knees, leveling my eyes with his, which I gazed into before I leaned forward and tenderly pressed my lips to his and kissed him.

I could feel him lean into the kiss before we pulled back, looking at one another. His eyes were searching mine for answers just as mine were his. Answers we would never find.

“I don’t deserve this kind of love Emi…”
“Please don’t sell yourself short. You do deserve it.” I leaned in and pecked him on the lips softly once more.
“I’m not. I’m being realistic.”
I rolled my eyes at that word. “You’re not being realistic at all. You’re upset with yourself so you’re hurting yourself emotionally. You’re being an emotional cutter.”

He didn’t reply. Instead he just laced his arms around my torso tighter and relaxed his head on my shoulder while my fingers ran threw his locks of hair.

“I do really love you… and nothing will ever change that…”
“Don’t-… not if I hurt you. It’ll only make my pain worse…”
I knew what he wanted me to say but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. “I can’t do that Dee.” I whispered sadly. Then there was silence as he pulled back from me and just looked at me.

There was a few moments of silence between us, during which I wondered what was going threw his mind, before he leant forward and pressed his lips to mine; arms slithering their way once more around me as I returned the kiss as his hands began to rub idly at my back as we keep the kiss alive.

» INSIGHT «

I’ll be quite frank with you; as silly and as unbelievable as it may sound, especially in this day and age, when I met Demitre I was (almost) instantly enamored with him. When we met I was nothing but an escaped “slave” who’d thrust herself into a world of which she knew nothing about! Dee, luckily, found me in my hour of need and graciously (read: forced) took me under his wing and began to educate me about this mysterious new world. However, he wasn’t much of a people person-in fact he still isn’t-and wasn’t very thrilled about me living with him and his guardian, Binx as I learned, but I was (and still am) much too terrified to venture off, especially on my own… so I clung to the man both literally and figuratively speaking and eventually grew on him.

As time progressed between Dee and I so did my lessons; … and my feelings toward him but we won’t get into that yet. While under Ancels care I was never taught how to defend myself and Dee sought to change that, especially if I were to be staying with him. I think, Dee was almost proud of me when I showed so much passion and enthusiasm toward my training lessons. Of course I was started out small and slowly began to work my way up to bigger and harder lessons; I was in love with the sword but my mistress was the bow. I still have much to learn, but I have an amazing teacher to help guide me.

Now about those feelings... Yes, it is true. I am very much in love with Demitre. As much as I don't fully understand the emotion and as much as the emotion terrifies me but I do love him with all of my heart and soul. I've never felt this way for another, at least not willingly. Yes grant you I "loved" Ancel but it was out of fear not out of love for him. This is completely different; this is something I feel entirely out of my own free will. It took a while for me to actually tell him how I felt; like most I was terrified of rejection but I used a bad moment well- and it ended for the better for the both of us.

» BASICS «

Name: Emmalee Van Cleve.
Alias: Emily; Emi.
Gender: Female.
Appears: Twenty-one.
Specie: Dragon; water.
Ethnicity: German/Dutch.

Time Period: Present.
Genre: comedy; drama; adventure.
Status: Closed.

» MISCELLANEOUS «

Birth Date: February twenty-fifth.
Zodiac: Pisces.
Orientation: Heterosexual.
Sexual Temperament: Submissive.
Occupation: Unemployed.
Ability(ies): -soon-.

» RELATIONS «

Partner: Demitre ~~~~; fiance.
Father: n/a.
Mother: n/a.
Brother(s): n/a.
Sister(s): n/a.
Daughter(s): Leanor Van Cleve; alive.
Son(s): Drake Van Cleve; alive.
Nathan Van Cleve; alive.

» APPEARANCE «

Height: five foot, eight inches.
Weight: one hundred, thirty-five pounds
Build: very voluptuous on a stereotypical hourglass figure, which is to say she has plumper hips coming up to form a plump rear-end, tiny waist and large bust (D-cup).

Eyes: almond shaped, mint green colored.
Hair (style): comes down to the middle of her lower back, no real bangs though a few locks fall in her face, parted naturally down the center. wavy in nature.
Hair (color): midnight blue.
Skin tone: very pale with faint pink undertones.

Scarring(s): one; very faint thin scar a crossed her throat.
Tattoo(s): n/a.
Piercing(s): n/a.

» THIS AND THAT «

Likes: porcelain dolls; victorian gowns; jewelry; stain and lace; piano; violin; classic literature; white lilies; apple blossoms; strawberries; water; learning; listening; opera; classical music; ballet; museums; ballroom dancing; candle light; light rains; willow trees.

Dislikes: extreme changes in the weather, being paddled, Ancel, most all types of bugs, being verbally or physically degraded, cabin fever, filth, being forgotten/replaced, harm coming to those she cares about, most current fashion with few exceptions, failing, letting someone she cares about down when they need her,

Personality: submissive; dependent; intelligent; innocent; timid; graceful; charming; polite; cautious; prissy; bewitching; elegant; proper; posh; lady-like; naive; obedient; speaks only when spoken to; tender; frail; literate; endearing; understanding; wordily; curious; generous; quick learner; cultured; musically inclined.

» CREDITS «

001 profile by boogleloo.
002 art by Lavabeast.
003 overlay by seraph.