Information
Fauxney has a minion!
Delicious Happy Fluffy Pink Muffin Of /Very/ Redundant Happiness the Happy Muffin
Delicious Happy Fluffy Pink Muffin Of /Very/ Redundant Happiness the Happy Muffin
Fauxney
The
BloodRed TorreyOwner:
HoprabbitAge: 3 years, 3 months
Born: February 24th, 2010
Adopted: 3 years, 3 months ago
Adopted: February 24th, 2010
Statistics
- Level: 10
- Strength: 19
- Defense: 26
- Speed: 26
- Health: 23
- HP: 16/23
- Intelligence: 3
- Books Read: 3
- Food Eaten: 24
- Job: Unemployed
The room is quiet when you push the door open. Something like a pillow, soft-looking, fuzzy, and covered in a disturbing amount of dark red liquid sits in a large black easy chair directly in front of you. You turn to back away, but a voice from the chair catches your attention.
"I'm really not that bad, you know." The large, fluffy black object in the chair turns to face you, her tail uncurling to reveal a deep red eye and a bright green beside it. "I look pretty wicked now, but I used to be cute." she comments, licking her paw.
You ask her what happened, wondering if you should back up now and escape. She smirks, blood dribbling from her chin."Have you ever seen a talking muffin?"
And then, she begins.
It was a cold winter that year, bitter and chilling. I had lived with a warm family, up until adoption time. Every year, the animals that had reached prime age for adoption were taken from their surrogate homes and placed in cold cages at the large 'Adopt a Pet' building. No one liked the conditions the pets were in, but Subeta had become a large world, and many pets had to be kept. One never knew how many Chelons were adopted compared to Torreys, like me. After hearing stories of how some animals in 'Adopt are Us' were treated, I just sucked it up and dealt. My roommates were a little more taxing than the cold floor, however.
"OMG, Nellie. Checkitowwwwtttt! She loves me!" The more annoying of the ten Torrey's crammed in with me in my cage had grouped together, just as they had been in obedience school at the nursery. A young lady wearing Mimi Moe trinkets and a large puffy hat was pointing at the loud, annoying OMG-girl. I couldn't really see her, but it looked like there was a giant smile on her face. Sure enough, she took the loud one out of the cage, leaving me and my nine sisters and brothers alone, here to wait another day.
Actually, not really days for most of them. Since we Torrey's are pretty cute, most of the girlier starters that day picked out their favorites from the cage. I enjoyed the peace and quiet for a while, but soon the few of us got extremely lonely. One of the annoying girls were left, there was me, and there were two boys. Eventually the boys got adopted, leaving just me and the sad preppy girl.
Finally, our last adoptable days were approaching.
Since every year new adoptables are added, something has to be done with the previous year's rejects. I didn't really fear for the girl sharing my cage; She had found someone working the Center and probably had a guaranteed home. Me, however? I had a week.
Predictably, 'Daisy'(That was the name the counter-girl gave her) was taken out of the cage. I would see her trot by sometimes, trying to lure the attention of the boys, looking smugly up at me. 'See? See what happens when you're pretty and nice and loud? You get chosen. You win.' She seemed to say.
Now, my story wasn't /straight/ out of a movie. She didn't catch me exactly as they went to 'dispose' of me. It was a day or two before. But trust me, I was feeling dejected, and was looking forward to a nice quick euthanization. But in ran a a girl, maybe fourteen or fifteen years old, with a platinum dyed-blonde(or maybe a wig? I dunno) head of hair, black and light blue clothes, and a black stuffed panda hanging from her arm. She seemed to be in a hurry, muttering something about rules and how the pets were actually cuter than some 'neopets' site, whatever that meant. Her eyes started lighting up as she hit the furries (Me, Pherrets, Devontis, etc.), and she stopped dead in her hurried tracks and ripped the cage door open. She pulled me out, petted my head (It hurt, let me tell you) and dragged me to the counter.
"This one." She said, all cheerful.
"Why? It's....scruffy." Daisy's owner complained, tapping her fingers on the marble.
"No, she's cute. Aren't you, Fauxney?" The girl wasn't affected in the slightest.
I was offended. This girl had known me all of thirty seconds, had bruised my ribs, yanked my fur out, and had called me a phoney of all things!
The lady scowled. "Phoney? Like P-H-O-"
"No." This girl smacked her hand down on the counter, shaking her little bear and some bracelets she wore. "F-A-U-X-N-E-Y. Fauxney. Like Faux fur, fake fur? She's just pretending to be rough around the edges. She's like a project.... A cute project." She'd fluffed the tuft of fur on my head.
By this time, I was seriously mad enough to bite her. You know, if she hadn't had me in a strangle hold.
"Whatever, chickie poo." Daisy's owner sighed and registered me. The girl dragged me outside, and I saw my first bit of Subeta. It was seriously breathtaking. The air was crisp and clear, there were these fluffy white things in the sky that look like rounded tails, a bright lightbulb hanging up in the blue, and the greenest Spaceturf I had ever seen crunching beneath my toes as Ms. Crazy put me down. (Later I found out that those were clouds, it was the sun, and that was grass. I was pretty sheltered before Hop.) I wanted most of all to just bolt for my life and work out the details later, but the crazy lady has just saved my life, you know? She put her hands on her hip, her sparkly pink lips broke a smile, and she breathed the air.
"Feels nice to be out of that hellhole, don't it Faux?"
I nodded my head timidly, scared.
"Yeah. It's so stuffy in there. Bet you hated it..... Want to go grab something to eat?"
My eyes widened. Food in the Center had been little more than ground up produce with sugar or salt on it. I'd scrunched my face and hid under my paws and tail, and shook my head vigorously. "No, please. None of that!"
She'd plucked me from the ground and clapped me onto her shoulder, mumbling in a cheerful tone. I saw the Center fading out of sight as she plodded along, feeling kidnapped and fearful.
When she finally stopped and let me down, I was more scared than ever. The air smelled of turnips and something sweet, reminding me of my last lunch at the Center. We'd just gotten through with our turnip mash and apple juice there when the announcement for the one week 'expiration period' for those of us remaining. Daisy had smirked, put her paws on my table, and flicked her freshly potioned dawn tail in my face.
"Guess you don't have too much time left, Scruffs. Have fun dying!" She'd cackled and sauntered away, laughing maniacally.
I'd laid my head on my tray, mumbling into the scraps of food left. Most of the pets had been adopted. A few Illumises, some of those weird animals with gems in their fur, and a Celinox were my only company. People had considered me, picked me up, and set me down, a twisted, sick frown on their faces. All of this I had contemplated in a pile of turnip guts.
The girl(She had explained to me that she was Jerrica, but no one called her that 'online', whatever that is, and told me to call her Hop) took me up to a brand new sort of place I'd never seen before; a shop. The front was a giant, puffy, brown thing in a folding cup (A muffin, I later discovered) and proclaimed 'The Bake Stop' on a small sign sitting outside the place.
".....Whassat?" I asked, trembling. It scared me.
She smirked and began walking toward the large muffin. Nearby, there was some shop shaped like a box(The Food Market) that smelled like those awful turnips and something sweetish. Hop told me that the Bake Stop sold all sorts of nice treats, like cake and cookies. I asked her what the heck a cookie was, and she frowned, picking me up and running inside.
"You don't know what a cookie is?!" She proclaimed
"No. Or a cake."
"Those horrible people! What did you eat?"
"Vegetables." This caused Hop's face to darken completely, almost to the point where her eyes looked black. She plopped me in a chair near the front of the store and proceeded to pick up a Happy Muffin and some large star-shaped cookie with purple and white stuff on it. After exchanging some small coins with the clerk, she handed me the cookie. It had smelled like absolute heaven, and I nearly passed out with the delicious taste. She plucked the muffin from her back pocket, and gave it to me. At first, I figured it was food and attempted to eat it. Then it screamed.
"It's a minion, doofus. Give it a name and let it follow you."
Since I refused to name a pastry(I'd now discovered they were delicious and still have no idea why I'm not allowed to eat her), Hop called her this incredibly long name(Delicious Happy Fluffy Pink Muffin Of /Very/ Redundant Happiness) and she followed me. It took me a while to get used to a jumping muffin following my every move, but by the time we were home, I was resigned to keep her.
That night was one of the best of my life.
"It took a few months, but now I'm how you see me. Bloodred." She mutters through a cracked grin. Fauxney crawls off the chair precariously, and you notice the large, sharp talons protruding from her fluffy, soaked paws. You begin to back away.
Fauxney's grin grows wider as you try to open the locked door behind you. The fireplace flickers against the blood on her carpet, and in horror you notice the small, white skull settled in the corner; it's painted with a dried red smiley-face. Your breath becomes shorter as you scramble to unlock the door. Her claws extend further as they leap toward your face.
Then? Then it's darkness.
"I'm really not that bad, you know." The large, fluffy black object in the chair turns to face you, her tail uncurling to reveal a deep red eye and a bright green beside it. "I look pretty wicked now, but I used to be cute." she comments, licking her paw.
You ask her what happened, wondering if you should back up now and escape. She smirks, blood dribbling from her chin."Have you ever seen a talking muffin?"
And then, she begins.
It was a cold winter that year, bitter and chilling. I had lived with a warm family, up until adoption time. Every year, the animals that had reached prime age for adoption were taken from their surrogate homes and placed in cold cages at the large 'Adopt a Pet' building. No one liked the conditions the pets were in, but Subeta had become a large world, and many pets had to be kept. One never knew how many Chelons were adopted compared to Torreys, like me. After hearing stories of how some animals in 'Adopt are Us' were treated, I just sucked it up and dealt. My roommates were a little more taxing than the cold floor, however.
"OMG, Nellie. Checkitowwwwtttt! She loves me!" The more annoying of the ten Torrey's crammed in with me in my cage had grouped together, just as they had been in obedience school at the nursery. A young lady wearing Mimi Moe trinkets and a large puffy hat was pointing at the loud, annoying OMG-girl. I couldn't really see her, but it looked like there was a giant smile on her face. Sure enough, she took the loud one out of the cage, leaving me and my nine sisters and brothers alone, here to wait another day.
Actually, not really days for most of them. Since we Torrey's are pretty cute, most of the girlier starters that day picked out their favorites from the cage. I enjoyed the peace and quiet for a while, but soon the few of us got extremely lonely. One of the annoying girls were left, there was me, and there were two boys. Eventually the boys got adopted, leaving just me and the sad preppy girl.
Finally, our last adoptable days were approaching.
Since every year new adoptables are added, something has to be done with the previous year's rejects. I didn't really fear for the girl sharing my cage; She had found someone working the Center and probably had a guaranteed home. Me, however? I had a week.
Predictably, 'Daisy'(That was the name the counter-girl gave her) was taken out of the cage. I would see her trot by sometimes, trying to lure the attention of the boys, looking smugly up at me. 'See? See what happens when you're pretty and nice and loud? You get chosen. You win.' She seemed to say.
Now, my story wasn't /straight/ out of a movie. She didn't catch me exactly as they went to 'dispose' of me. It was a day or two before. But trust me, I was feeling dejected, and was looking forward to a nice quick euthanization. But in ran a a girl, maybe fourteen or fifteen years old, with a platinum dyed-blonde(or maybe a wig? I dunno) head of hair, black and light blue clothes, and a black stuffed panda hanging from her arm. She seemed to be in a hurry, muttering something about rules and how the pets were actually cuter than some 'neopets' site, whatever that meant. Her eyes started lighting up as she hit the furries (Me, Pherrets, Devontis, etc.), and she stopped dead in her hurried tracks and ripped the cage door open. She pulled me out, petted my head (It hurt, let me tell you) and dragged me to the counter.
"This one." She said, all cheerful.
"Why? It's....scruffy." Daisy's owner complained, tapping her fingers on the marble.
"No, she's cute. Aren't you, Fauxney?" The girl wasn't affected in the slightest.
I was offended. This girl had known me all of thirty seconds, had bruised my ribs, yanked my fur out, and had called me a phoney of all things!
The lady scowled. "Phoney? Like P-H-O-"
"No." This girl smacked her hand down on the counter, shaking her little bear and some bracelets she wore. "F-A-U-X-N-E-Y. Fauxney. Like Faux fur, fake fur? She's just pretending to be rough around the edges. She's like a project.... A cute project." She'd fluffed the tuft of fur on my head.
By this time, I was seriously mad enough to bite her. You know, if she hadn't had me in a strangle hold.
"Whatever, chickie poo." Daisy's owner sighed and registered me. The girl dragged me outside, and I saw my first bit of Subeta. It was seriously breathtaking. The air was crisp and clear, there were these fluffy white things in the sky that look like rounded tails, a bright lightbulb hanging up in the blue, and the greenest Spaceturf I had ever seen crunching beneath my toes as Ms. Crazy put me down. (Later I found out that those were clouds, it was the sun, and that was grass. I was pretty sheltered before Hop.) I wanted most of all to just bolt for my life and work out the details later, but the crazy lady has just saved my life, you know? She put her hands on her hip, her sparkly pink lips broke a smile, and she breathed the air.
"Feels nice to be out of that hellhole, don't it Faux?"
I nodded my head timidly, scared.
"Yeah. It's so stuffy in there. Bet you hated it..... Want to go grab something to eat?"
My eyes widened. Food in the Center had been little more than ground up produce with sugar or salt on it. I'd scrunched my face and hid under my paws and tail, and shook my head vigorously. "No, please. None of that!"
She'd plucked me from the ground and clapped me onto her shoulder, mumbling in a cheerful tone. I saw the Center fading out of sight as she plodded along, feeling kidnapped and fearful.
When she finally stopped and let me down, I was more scared than ever. The air smelled of turnips and something sweet, reminding me of my last lunch at the Center. We'd just gotten through with our turnip mash and apple juice there when the announcement for the one week 'expiration period' for those of us remaining. Daisy had smirked, put her paws on my table, and flicked her freshly potioned dawn tail in my face.
"Guess you don't have too much time left, Scruffs. Have fun dying!" She'd cackled and sauntered away, laughing maniacally.
I'd laid my head on my tray, mumbling into the scraps of food left. Most of the pets had been adopted. A few Illumises, some of those weird animals with gems in their fur, and a Celinox were my only company. People had considered me, picked me up, and set me down, a twisted, sick frown on their faces. All of this I had contemplated in a pile of turnip guts.
The girl(She had explained to me that she was Jerrica, but no one called her that 'online', whatever that is, and told me to call her Hop) took me up to a brand new sort of place I'd never seen before; a shop. The front was a giant, puffy, brown thing in a folding cup (A muffin, I later discovered) and proclaimed 'The Bake Stop' on a small sign sitting outside the place.
".....Whassat?" I asked, trembling. It scared me.
She smirked and began walking toward the large muffin. Nearby, there was some shop shaped like a box(The Food Market) that smelled like those awful turnips and something sweetish. Hop told me that the Bake Stop sold all sorts of nice treats, like cake and cookies. I asked her what the heck a cookie was, and she frowned, picking me up and running inside.
"You don't know what a cookie is?!" She proclaimed
"No. Or a cake."
"Those horrible people! What did you eat?"
"Vegetables." This caused Hop's face to darken completely, almost to the point where her eyes looked black. She plopped me in a chair near the front of the store and proceeded to pick up a Happy Muffin and some large star-shaped cookie with purple and white stuff on it. After exchanging some small coins with the clerk, she handed me the cookie. It had smelled like absolute heaven, and I nearly passed out with the delicious taste. She plucked the muffin from her back pocket, and gave it to me. At first, I figured it was food and attempted to eat it. Then it screamed.
"It's a minion, doofus. Give it a name and let it follow you."
Since I refused to name a pastry(I'd now discovered they were delicious and still have no idea why I'm not allowed to eat her), Hop called her this incredibly long name(Delicious Happy Fluffy Pink Muffin Of /Very/ Redundant Happiness) and she followed me. It took me a while to get used to a jumping muffin following my every move, but by the time we were home, I was resigned to keep her.
That night was one of the best of my life.
"It took a few months, but now I'm how you see me. Bloodred." She mutters through a cracked grin. Fauxney crawls off the chair precariously, and you notice the large, sharp talons protruding from her fluffy, soaked paws. You begin to back away.
Fauxney's grin grows wider as you try to open the locked door behind you. The fireplace flickers against the blood on her carpet, and in horror you notice the small, white skull settled in the corner; it's painted with a dried red smiley-face. Your breath becomes shorter as you scramble to unlock the door. Her claws extend further as they leap toward your face.
Then? Then it's darkness.
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