Shinami
Legacy Name: Shinami

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I was born, a single kit to a Kitsune mother. This was, of course, a very long time ago. The memory of my mother is little more than a blur to me, these days. I remember she was young, perhaps a few years old when she had me. My father I never knew. Perhaps he had only wanted my mother for a quick frisky evening.. or perhaps he'd been hunted for his pelt. I never cared to know and my mother never bothered mentioning him. It was clear he was an unimportant event in her life.

What -was- important was her newly born kit. So small and defenseless. So seemingly insignificant in the greater scheme of things. But how wrong we both were.

I was raised a Kitsune. A fox. We were all ordinary until proven otherwise. If we lived long enough to find any potential of greater being, it was possible to learn magics.

But most of us never live that long. My mother was one such fox. Killed by a hunting dog two years after my birth. Her death was a sacrifice she was willing to make for my survival. Sad as it was, it taught me three life lessons. Never trust humans. Never trust dogs. And if you want to survive, do not be so willing to self-sacrifice.



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These lessons carried me. Before I knew it, I was within my second decade of life. It was around that time that I realized that I was not the ordinary Kitsune.

I had sprouted a second tail during my tenth year or so. It started as a tiny nub, much like a newborn kit's. But as I grew in age, so too did it grow. By the time I saw my twentieth summer, I had two full tails and my life was headed in a much different direction than I could have ever dreamed.

I was suddenly revered, even by the human race. Predators stopped giving chase and hunters kept their distance. Even their dogs dared not approach me.

This level of restraint shown to me by the world led me to grow bolder. Perhaps I was foolish to think I was invincible, but I dared to investigate places I had previously thought too dangerous to venture near. A nearby human village happened to be one such place. As I trotted down the dirt road, glancing around me at the stands and dwellings, I began to take note that it was not "Kitsune" that I was being called, but "Kyuubi".

Nine-tailed fox.

But nine tails I did not have. I had only two, and a third trying to sprout. Nevertheless, the whispers of those human-kind taught me much about myself. It allowed me to begin exploring my own potential; for I was not the ordinary woodland Kitsune that I had previously believed I was. I was something greater, with powers I had not yet discovered.

My exploration into the world of the Kyuubi brought around many more discoveries about potential abilities. The control of foxfire and the ability to shape-shift only a couple. Of course, the shape-shifting got me into more trouble than it did good. Being the curious creature that I was, I began studying with the other neighboring foxes how to control my growing number of foxfires. Eventually, I mastered the ability, but the discovery of this new power had me craving to know more. I wanted to further investigate my potential, to learn and master other tricks. I wanted to shape-shift. So I turned to humans.

Women were the easiest to mimic. Their slender figures were much like my own. Though learning the human tongue proved more difficult. I had heard very little of it in all my years, as up until recent, I had avoided human dwellings in fear for my life. But it would be impossible to properly mimic a human female if I could not speak as one. So I stayed around the town, learning every alley and small walkway so as to move around and observe everything.

And I listened. Oh, I listened to everything. To songs and music, to stories told to young ones, to conversations between friends, or even the bartering of shoppers in the market. Every word uttered by a human tongue was a lesson in mastering their speech.

And then I heard him... a male I had not yet encountered; not that I ever allowed myself to get too close to the humans. Yes, I lingered.. but it was within a safe distance.

But not with this male. He was chatting to an acquaintance, leaving his home and walking down the street while continuing the conversation. I could not tell why I was so instantly drawn to him, but the pull was incredible. There was something about him that seemed so familiar to me.. something that made me feel at home..

I followed him, unable to satiate my curiosity for this particular being. While I admit I wasn't being as stealthy as I was able, I hadn't thought he would notice the little orange fox following him through the busy market; but somehow he did. His dark eyes turned to mine as he paused in the street and watched me, his head tilting in what seemed to be his own brand of curiosity.

"Is this the fox I've been hearing about?"

The question seemed directed at his friend. Apparently the town had been talking about me. Perhaps my vanity had caused me to miss that fact.

"Come here, fox."

He knealed down, offering out a hand in my direction.

I remember watching him, my heart pounding with such force that I was sure it would come through my chest. Was I scared? Excited? Perhaps somewhere between the two. But I approached.. my paws deciding before my mind had the chance to clear itself of the sudden fog that had taken it over. I found myself before him, just out of reach.

His fingers uncurled, a flat palm, face up, waiting for me to make a move.

Leaning in, I kept my paws firmly planted beneath me. I would not dare take another step, but I didn't understand his offering and wanted to investigate. His hand was empty. Was I missing something? My nose came within millimeters of his skin as I took in his scent. I had never come across him before and yet the scent was somehow nostalgic and comfortable.

And then I was gone. The slight twitch of his fingers sent me fleeing and I realized only then, when I was around the corner of the next alley over, what I had done.

One of my first life lessons came to mind. Do not trust humans.

I found myself panting as I turned an ear toward the street where I'd left the man. Despite the jumbled mutterings of others, I could make out his somewhat disapointed voice.

"It's gone. Maybe if I'd had food..."



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That midday adventure had not left my mind, despite the weeks I had given to avoiding the town I'd been so previously engaged with. I'd stayed to the forests, watching everything from afar.

But I yearned to return to the town. To hear the speech I had grown desperate to learn. To taste the odd mixtures of food dropped upon the ground as offerings in the market place. And despite knowing it was foolish, I wanted to see the dark-eyed man again.

Venturing down one evening, I slunk through the streets, avoiding any high-traffic areas and keeping to the shadows. I imagined that most of the folk wouldn't think much of me anyway. I had become more than just a sighting in the town. They were used to me. Seeing me roam the streets was nothing new to them, nor was it unusual.

Slowly making my way down one of the alleys, I poked my head around the corner and scoped out the area. Things seemed clear. Darting across the road, I edged upon the house I had seen the strange man come from all those weeks ago.

I traced the exterior of the home, hugging it tight with my body as I peeked around the back of it. The back door was open, most likely in an attempt to invite the cooling night air inside. I took this as an invitation to scope out the inside of the home, which was done with a quick visual sweep of the main room. It appeared empty. I dared to stretch the tip of my nose into the doorway. The scent was familiar and soothing. A mix of the man's strange, almost musky scent, intertwined with what seemed to be cinnamon incense. I could hear nothing but the wooden wind chimes overhead in the doorway, a mellow "tonk, tink" as the breeze blew.

Perhaps he'd gone out for the night? Some errand.. or someone to see.. Maybe he was with that friend of his again.. The other man he'd been walking with through the market..

Before I knew it, I was standing in the middle of the living quarters. I hadn't meant to venture so far in, but curiosity had gotten the better of me. Or perhaps it was something else. Looking back, I'd almost say it was the pull of fate.

Lost in my own world of wonder, I found myself startled by the noise of the windchime clattering in a sudden and unnatural rhythm. I turned in just enough time to see the dark-eyed man standing in his doorway, bumping his head on the bottom tubes of the chime.

Believing that he had not seen me yet due to his distraction with the chime, I darted toward the front of the house, racing into each corner of the room in a fit of panic, trying to find another escape. But there was none. The front door was closed and I was just a smidge too short to make the leap up through one of the open windows. I realized this when I made an attempt to scale the wall to make my escape and wound up on the floor in a bundle of frayed nerves.

I turned in place, crouched down under the window, staring at the man who had obviously seen me at this point. He calmly closed the back door, effectively trapping me.

"Are you lost, little fox?"

His voice had an edge of amusement to it. There was nothing amusing about the situation, however. I was panicking, panting, on the edge of hyperventilating. I didn't know what to do. I laid down, staring at him, hoping, wishing, praying that by keeping still I would turn invisible to him and could sneak out. These powers were beyond me, though, and he approached in a nonchalant manner.

Kneeling down before me as he'd done in the street, he calmly offered his hand to me. I stared at him, glanced to his hand, and then allowed my eyes to wander back up to his. Still, I did not understand this offering.

"No?"

His hand turned over, palm down, and moved towards me, hovering above my head.

And I screamed. A terrible, ear-piercing scream that only a fox could produce. Yet the sound startled even me as I had never made such a noise. The call of terror ended in a chittering, my teeth bared as I flattened myself to the floor, wishing I could just sink in and disappear into the ground; perhaps to sprout up somewhere safe, elsewhere.

The scream did little to deter the man, however, and his hand continued to hover before drifting down to land gently upon the top of my head.

I froze. My trembling stopped and I held my breath. I stared up into this man's eyes, asking silently what he was doing, but he did not answer. He just leaned forward, rolled onto his knees so that he could sit upon the floor before me, and stroked my head. A gentle, soothing motion of his warm, skinned hand across my orange fur.

A breath came to me, a long, tentative inhale. And then an exhale.

I was not dead. He had not harmed me. I was not even restrained, past having no exit options out of the house. His touch was foreign to me, but pleasing on some deep level that I didn't want to admit to. Despite not knowing how to accept it, I tolerated his curiosity, allowing him to stroke the top of my head, under my jaw, and along my back. Though when his hand reached the base of my spine, wandering to my tails, I snapped at him.

This drew an amused chuckled from him and his hand recoiled as if licked by a flame. Perhaps I should have tried the more aggressive approach earlier..

"You are a Kyuubi no Kitsune, yes? You have two tails. Certainly you are not the average Kitsune."

I stared at him. He didn't expect me to answer, did he? I had not mastered the tongues of the human language just yet. I wasn't even sure if speech was an ability the Kyuubi had in their natural form. I had only practiced lightly in my human shape, but surely he didn't know that?

"What are you doing here, little fox? You've invited yourself into my home.. what were you looking for?"

I didn't have an answer for him. I didn't even have an answer for myself. I didn't know what had drawn me into his home or why I had even decided to chance coming back to the town at all. I simply wanted to. Was drawn to the sounds and sights and smells.. was drawn to him, though I hated admitting it. Of all the humans I had come in contact with, none of them sparked my curiosity and made me feel so oddly comfortable as he did.

Slowly, I pushed myself into a sitting position, my feet tucked close to me. My tails stood still, brushed out from the excitement of the situation.

"Readying yourself to leave? I suppose it was rude of me to trap you here. I almost thought you'd make it out the window."

The man rose, turning his back to me as he walked to the back of the house and propped the door open once again. I exhaled involuntarily, relief escaping my body.

"There you go, little fox. Freedom."

I stared at the door, my body aching to bolt forward and retreat from the situation and back into the safety of the forest. But I resisted. I could not wrap my head around this human. He did not seem to wish to harm me, to hunt me, to kill me for my pelt or sport. And yet he also did not fear or revere me. He treated me as he would any lowly animal. He treated me with an odd sense of kindness and perhaps affection or admiration. I couldn't process it. Even when he retreated back into the house to sit by his fireplace, I stayed there; perched under the window just watching.

He ignored me for the rest of the night save to ask a question here or there, or make a small comment. But he did not try to approach, nor did he try to touch me again. He did not trap me or even look at me for too long. And I just observed, using the opportunity to watch him in what would be his natural habitat, as I imagine he would have done to me had he found me out in the woods instead of in his living quarters. It wasn't until he announced that he was going to bed that I took my leave; slipping out without a backwards glance as he laid down to rest on his cot.

I didn't know when I would have the courage to return. I was both fascinated and distraught with the situation. Clearly I had overstepped my bounds. I had entered his territory without permission and had thrown myself to the wolves, allowing him to trap me. I hadn't been thinking straight. I'd been careless. Had he been any other human and had I been the normal Kitsune, I would surely have been killed. But circumstances as they were, I'd been spared. This realization did two things. It brought around the memory of one of my earliest life lessons: Do not be so willing to self sacrifice. And it only made me want to go back and explore his world further.



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My curiosity had gotten the better of me and within days I was back to watching the dark-eyed man. Granted, I had learned from my last mistake of being trapped in his house for the short while. I no longer ventured near to him; simply watched him from afar. I had learned much about the humans from doing this.

My frequent stalking did not go unnoticed, however. There were many moments where the man would turn and notice me, and smile. Sometimes he would wave. And his friends began speaking of me frequently. Pointing out that "there's your fox, again" or calling me his "pet".

Within weeks I had become more confident around him. Less flinchy. Less flightly. Though still, I kept my distance. I never moved closer than an arms length away.

Soon I was enjoying the company, even the conversations despite the fact they were one-sided. I found myself thinking about him during the hours we were apart and made it a habit to visit him every day. We found a routine together, I sitting atop a hill to watch him as he worked the rice fields. Which lead to us having lunch together, as he'd come up the hill to sit and share bits of his meal with me. This lead, further, to him inviting me into his home on some of the colder nights, where I would sleep curled up near his fire. However, he had learned from his last experience with me in his home, that is was preferable that one of his doors remain open.

I had never felt such a way about another being. I enjoyed the companionship and way he made me feel in general. I felt safe with him. I had confidence in the fact that he would do no harm upon me, nor let harm fall upon me while in his presence. And despite my inability to figure out why he seemed to enjoy our relationship, he seemed happy to oblige my desire to be near him.

My only yearning was to be able to speak with him. To answer the innocent questions he would occasionally ask.



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Months passed and our relationship continued. I learned that his name was Nagi. And while I did not have a natural name to give him, nor would I have been able to, he deemed me his "little fox".

I enjoyed our time together very much, but found myself growing jealous of the human females he would talk to. It was an emotion I had not yet grown accustomed to feeling, as animals of the wild do not typically feel jealousy toward one another. I decided it was most likely the result of my human interactions; their ways rubbing off on me.

But my presence around Nagi seemed to draw the attention of the other females. They thought him something special and while I would admit, myself, that he was.. I wanted nothing to do with them and would have preferred if he would have felt the same way.

I felt the need to remedy whatever it was that was drawing his attention to the human females. Perhaps my motives were petty and selfish, wanting his attention for myself, but surely there would be some benefit to him as well. He could stop feeling so lonely, as I decided he must be.

So I decided to try out the ability I had been working on perfecting for so long; my shape-shifting. I had gotten fairly good at taking on a human form. Speech was still tricky, as I hadn't much time to practice in fear that someone would hear me. But there were many nights where I roamed the streets a human and had found that my true Kyuubi nature was completely hidden from the strangers around me. Perhaps it would be such to Nagi, as well.

I began disappearing during the day, first for short periods of time, wandering off into the woods to hide. After a few days, I began leaving for longer periods. A day here, a day there. Two days in a row.. I wanted him to get used to the idea that I would wander off. My fear was that if one day I went missing and on that same day a strange woman happened to wander into the town, that a connection between the two occurrences may happen. But if wandering off had become a pre-formed habit..

Nagi noticed my disappearances and while he did not give chase to me or seek me out, he did begin to question it. He would ask where I had gone, as if I would give him a delightful answer about chasing rabbits or digging holes. But I gave him no clues. I would simply vanish in the morning and then would reappear whenever it seemed a fit time.

Then, I wandered into town as a woman. I had left out the night before, sleeping in the woods so that Nagi would not be able to find me. The next morning I hid myself as a young woman and wandered into the town as I had practiced for many nights. I meandered the market area, keeping an eye on Nagi to be sure he would not wander off and make my approach seem more unusual than it would be, already.

Coming up behind Nagi, I hovered behind him, pretending to view the stall before us. He was speaking with the stall owner about the various vegetables for sale. I smiled faintly, understanding the words clearly and being quite pleased with the results of my hard work studying the language in secret.

The true test came when Nagi made an attempt to back away from the stall to continue shopping and bumped into me accidentally. It was a better meeting than I could have hoped for, aside from the small squeak that escaped me upon his touch and the fact that I could not find my voice afterwards. All of my time practicing had been lost. I'd become so flustered that I could not find words. The pounding of my heart was overwhelming and too much of a distraction. I couldn't think.

"My apologies!"

His voice, despite the surprised tone, was sweet honey to my ears. I enjoyed hearing it in our one-sided conversations and had hoped to hear more of it with the ability to speak back to him. But I opened my mouth and nothing came out. My human tongue produced no words.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

I watched him, hesitant, and then shook my head. I couldn't speak. All of the things I wanted to say were locked up somewhere inside and I couldn't find a way to release them. Nagi paused, examining me with a cautious eye.

"Are you new around here? I don't believe we've met."

Again, I was at a loss. I blinked a few times, inhaling in an attempt to get some form of speech to come out upon the exhale... but there was nothing. I was failing, miserably. A nod, instead. It was still more of an answer than I had ever given as a Kitsune.

"I'm Nagi. It's nice to meet you. I.. I didn't startle you so badly, did I?"

My furless hand reached for his as he offered it, a gesture I had seen other humans do in greeting. Was this what he had been offering me all those times? An empty hand to hold? His touch was warmer than I remembered and his hand rougher. Was this what it was like to be cloaked only in cloth? You could feel everything. Every light brush on your skin was an exciting sensation.

"Excuse my asking, but what might your name be?"

My name? I stared at him like a startled deer. I didn't have a name. Being born to the wilds, I had never been given one. I merely existed, along with the other nameless woodland creatures. We all knew one another well enough, but none of us needed spoken names to communicate. Surely, I couldn't tell him I was his "little fox".. not that I would've been able to tell him, anyway. My plan of having a two-way conversation with him had flopped. I'd become too overwhelmed to try speech for myself.

Nagi seemed concerned, frowning. He watched me cautiously, his thumb playing over the back of my hand that he hadn't yet released.

"You don't speak do you? And yet I feel like I know you from somewhere."

I began to shake my head lightly, in as much of a sympathetic way as I could. Though I was caught off guard by his statement. Surely he didn't recognize me!?

"Would you like to come have lunch with me? There is a beautiful little hill that overlooks the rice fields. It's a little steep but the view is well worth it."

I must've looked surprised at his question because he ended up continuing by adding that he was used to one-sided conversations, so it was alright that I was quiet.

I accepted his proposal and we ended up going up to the hill to eat. There wasn't much to watch as the workers had disbanded to take their break for lunch as well, but it didn't matter much. I'd found myself distracted with Nagi, anyway. He seemed just as interested in me, despite the fact my confidence in my plan had waned and I'd become the shy little fox again.

The facade was difficult to keep up, however. I found it hard to attempt speech and even more difficult to perform normal human tasks.. such as eating. I had practiced moving and even hand gestures, but had not thought to practice eating while in my human form. The rice ball that had been offered to me sat comfortably in my hands, but I was unsure of the idea of putting it to my mouth to eat it. The motion was unnatural to a fox such as myself, who does not eat with their paws.

"You're not hungry?"

I glanced to him, shaking my head a little. How the answer was meant to be taken, I wasn't even sure. I just wanted to answer. He deserved answers.. I had gone through such lengths to blind him with my tricks and I couldn't even manage a conversation to keep him entertained. How was I going to cure his loneliness if I couldn't converse with him? Perhaps allowing him to speak with the human females was the right thing to do, after all.. Despite my jealousy, he needed the interaction and I was obviously incapable of giving it to him.

"You know.. you really remind me of someone."

I glanced up from the rice ball that I had focused down upon.

"Don't take this the wrong way. I do not mean it as an insult. But there is this little Kitsune that comes and visits me sometimes. You have such delicate features.. you really remind me of them."

I watched him before fidgeting uncomfortably. He knew. He had to know.

"I think you remind me of them, also, because you don't speak. I have a lot of conversations with the little fox, but they can't speak either. I feel like I'm talking to myself sometimes, but I guess the fox doesn't mind because they come back. You don't mind my talking, do you?"

I shook my head, staring down at the rice field, trying to keep myself together. He had to know. Why else would he bring up the similarities?

Taking a deep breath, I shifted slightly and offered the rice ball back to Nagi before standing. Though the motion seemed to concern Nagi, who placed the rice ball back with the others which remained uneaten and shifted to lean towards me.

"What's wrong? Did I upset you? I meant no offense by it! You just reminded me of.."

I ignored him, turning to leave. I didn't know where I was going to go besides the forest, but I couldn't take it any longer. My chest and face were burning with an emotion I couldn't identify.

"Hey.. hey! You have.. is that a tail?"

I spun quickly, turning back to face him. Tail? My hands moved to pat at what should have been the tail-less backside of my human form.. but there was indeed a tail, there. A soft, fluffy fox tail. I glanced behind me to be sure that what I was feeling was being identified correctly and panicked when it turned out to be true. I was too worked up to keep the form. He knew. What would he think of me?

"No, wait! Don't leave!"

I was already fleeing, doing my best to run up the hill to the wood-line at the top of it. I was not quite as agile as I was in my fox body, however, and Nagi caught up to me quickly, grabbing me by the wrist to spin me around back to him. I squeaked, apparently the only noise I was capable of making as a human.

"Please, don't leave. I just want to know what's going on.."

Nagi pulled me forward, most likely in an attempt to get me to come back down to where we had been sitting, but the charade was over. I was terrified of what he would think and was desperate to get away. Shifting back to my Kitsune body, I found myself falling foward into his arms, instead of to the ground as I had planned.

And there I was, staring up at him from his chest, his arms wrapped around me. I quivered, my ears folding back as I watched him. I hadn't meant for things to get so out of hand. I'd only wanted to have his attention for myself.. to speak with him the way he'd spoken to me.. to answer all the innocent questions he'd asked of me.

He seemed stunned. And why shouldn't he be? I'd fooled him. Tricked him. Led him astray with a dubious plan to steal his attention from the others of his kind. I shifted slightly in his arms, pushing my front paws against his chest to gain a small bit of distance. The warmth of his furless body was inviting, but I didn't deserve the comfort; nor did he likely mean to comfort me with his touch.

"Did you do all this for me?"

I turned my head from my focus of the ground to look up at him, questioning. Had I? More likely, I'd done it for myself..

"I just.. I don't know what to say. It is a lot of work you went through. You're still so young, with only your two tails, little Kyuubi."

He adjusted his hold on me so that he could support me with one arm and stroke my neck with the other. I gave in and leaned into his touch, closing my eyes. I didn't deserve it, but it was nice.

"Perhaps we'll just have to work on it some more.."

Work on it? My eyes opened and I looked up at him, ears perked. What was he suggesting? That I continue the facade of being human? He wasn't upset that I had tricked him? My eyes must have given away my thoughts as I searched his face for the honesty behind his words.

"What? Did you think I'd be mad? After all of the one-sided conversations we've had, I would like to see what you might have to say for yourself."

His laugh caught me off guard, yet somehow soothed me. He wasn't upset.. I hadn't angered him. And he was honestly willing to try and help me better my human abilities. It was more than I could have ever asked for.

Silently, I told myself that I would work hard with my abilities until I could hold the conversations that Nagi wanted to have. For all the kindness he had shown me, he deserved that.



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Seasons passed and I found myself staying more and more with Nagi. While I was still most comfortable in my Kyuubi body, it was becoming easier and easier to stay in my human body as well. And speech. Oh, how wonderful it was to speak! Nagi helped me develop my tongue and soon enough I was able to finally answer all of his silly little questions and hold full conversations with him.

I found myself infatuated with him. He was so kind and brilliant and endearing. More and more I found myself wanting to please him. Doing little things just to see him smile. Enjoying the gifts that he would surprise me with, as well. I spent more and more time in my human form so that we could talk and laugh together. I would curl up to him at night, yearning for the heat that his furless body emitted and the gentleness of his touch.

If I had known what love was at the time, I would have called it so.. but I was a young and inexperienced Kyuubi. I was still developing an affinity for my emotions. Despite this, when Nagi asked if I would have his hand in marriage, I obliged. I saw no reason as to why the two of us couldn't continue on the way we were.

There were some hurdles that needed to be passed before we could settle down happily, however. One of which was the fact that I lacked a proper name. I had slowly integrated myself into the human lifestyle over the past months, but being the shy being that I was toward strangers, I hadn't really needed a name. Nagi continued with his nickname of "little fox", though as cute as it was, it wasn't a proper name.

We discussed the problem together one day, which lead to my learning of an ancient story told throughout Japan. The story of Izanagi and Izanami. The story of creation. I had not heard it previously, which surprised Nagi.

"You've never heard the story?"

"No. But I haven't heard a lot of stories. You forget where I came from."

"But I was sure that even the forests would know the story of our creation. Animals were birthed from Izanagi and Izanami as well!"

"Only from a human's perspective. We have our own stories of how we came to be. But tell it to me."

"Well, it all started with Izanagi and Izanami. They were created, male and female, by the greater gods. Their job was to create things. Lands, animals. Anything. So they created an island and then they created animals to live there."

"Okay.."

"Well, Izanagi and Izanami lived together for a while and then decided that they would like to be mates. So they watched some of the birds they had created mating and decided that is what they would do. They later had children, which created many islands and deities. However, Izanami died while giving birth to her last child."

"This is a terrible story."

"It is said that Izanami's soul was reincarnated into an animal after she died. Regardless, Izanagi was beside himself. He killed the last child in retaliation and then traveled to Yomi, the land of the dead, to search for Izanami. He was eager to bring her back to the land of the living. But she had already eaten the food of the underworld and was therefor bound to it."

"But I thought you said that Izanami's soul had been reincarnated?"

"It had been. But her body was still trapped in the underworld. Izanagi decided that he would travel through the underworld to free her. To light his way, he took a piece of the comb that held his long locks of hair up and set it on fire to use as a torch so he could see. However, in doing so, he was able to see Izanami's rotting corpse as she slept. He was horrified and fear got the better of him. He shrieked and ran, intending to leave Izanami and return to the land of the living. The noise woke Izanami, though, and she ran after him, angered that he would leave her in such a way. Izanagi, exiting the cave first, pushed a giant boulder into the mouth to trap Izanami, effectively sealing the entrance to the underworld."

"That is a terrible ending. What happened to Izanagi?"

"Well, I imagine he ended up dying at some point, too."

"Was he reincarnated as Izanami was?"

"I don't know. I don't believe anyone has ever mentioned that he was. You know, my parents named me Nagi after Izanagi."

"What a terrible person to be named after."

"What do you mean? He wasn't terrible. He was faithful to his wife."

"He killed his child because his wife died in child birth. That is terrible. My mother died for me, to save me. Izanami did the same thing. She died so her child could survive. And then Izanagi turns around the kills the child that Izanami sacrificed herself for? He's terrible. Also, he abandoned Izanami despite saying that he loved her. His love was broken by the sight of her rotting corpse? Perhaps she was better off without him."

"Well.. I had never thought if it, that way. If you feel so strongly about Izanami, perhaps that's what we should call you."

"Izanami?"

"Well.. perhaps Nami would be better. Our names would go together, then."

"Nami?"

"Do you like it?"

"It's alright, I suppose. I don't know any better names."

"Then we shall call you Nami."



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I was happily married to Nagi for many years; more than I cared to count. He moved us to a house he built in the woods, where I could feel more comfortable.. where people would see me less and would be less likely to question why he had aged but I hadn't.

I had spent more time as a human in those years than I had a Kitsune. And yet I still grew, changed. I sprouted more tails, my fur paled with each passing year and I sharpened my abilities to control my shifting and foxfires. Nagi supported me each step of the way. I adored him until the day he left me, taken by illness and age.

I was unsure of how to handle the situation. I had lived for 6 decades or so and I had never experienced such grief. I was saddened when my mother was killed, yes, but such was life. The connection I had felt with Nagi was unlike anything I had ever experienced and I felt lost. It was as if a part of me, some deeply rooted part of my soul, was suddenly gone.

I could do nothing to prepare his body, as I was uneducated in the way humans performed their funeral rites. As a Kitsune, I had no need for funerals. If a family member died it was either because they were to be food for another species or because they had been hunted. Either way, their body was not lingering. But Nagi's was. His physical form still inhabited the place we had called home despite the fact that his spirit had ventured on.

I wrote a letter to the town we had met in, the nearest gathering of people that I knew would remember him, and I left.

I mourned for Nagi. For years, I mourned for him. It didn't take me long to find comfort in my Kyuubi form. To go back to what had been natural to me; the state I had been born into. I no longer had a need to be human. There was no one to be human for. So I wandered the forest and once again learned to survive on my own. But solitude proved much lonelier than I had remembered it being.

It was from this loneliness that I decided to continue lingering around human settlements. I dared not get close to another human like Nagi.. but just seeing them, hearing them.. it was comforting to me. It made me remember the better days when I had Nagi by my side to comfort me.



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Another few decades passed and I ended up meeting Sota. It was quite by chance that we bumped into each other. I was feeling slightly more miserable than usual and had decided to take a human stroll through one of the towns. In doing so, I bumped into the pale-haired man. Instantly, I knew he was different from the others. His eyes were light blue and he smelled remarkably familiar. He seemed kind, though was somewhat standoffish, nothing like my Nagi who could strike up a conversation with anyone (foxes included!). But he felt familiar, somehow. I couldn't place it, but it felt as if I knew him.. and suddenly the pain that had welled up inside of me had dissipated.

I worked at getting to know this new man and soon enough we were wed. Unfortunately, war took his life only a few years later. He was drafted to serve and never made it home. Despite the distance, I knew he was gone the moment it happened. Again, I could feel a piece of me break inside and I fell back into mourning.. fell back into solitude.

And so went the cycle... Nagi, then Sota.. Taiga, then Hiroku. I lived so many years of my life meeting, quite by chance, these extraordinary men that I fell for.. only to lose them to one thing or another. I was lucky if it was age, but even that too pained me. The thought of living 60 to 70 happy years together, knowing that in the end I would outlive them.. it's a terrible reality.

But a reality that brought me to the realization that perhaps Nagi had been on to something by deeming me Nami. Perhaps there was a reason for our meeting.. a reason for our sudden curiosity and infatuation with one another.

I can not get the thought to leave my mind, that perhaps, somewhere along the line of Izanami's soul having been reincarnated, that it wound up in a little Kitsune body. And that perhaps that little Kitsune, by being a Kyuubi at heart, has broken a chain of events that could last as long as the world is old.

I have noticed that every few decades or so, it seems, I come across a being such as Nagi. A man who, despite having never met him, is familiar to me. Comforting. Soothing. Special.

In my curiosity and desperation to no longer ache for my lost loved ones, I have explored these humans. And in my old age I have realized that they are all one in the same. Different bodies. Different personalities and histories. But all of them are the same soul that I originally fell in love with. All of them are Nagi.

And had I been born into a being with a shorter life span, I am sure that I would have died and been reincarnated as well.. that I would roam the world, completely unaware of the fact that there is another soul out there waiting to meet me.. to complete me.

But alas.. I did not have the fortune to be placed in some short-lived body. No. I am a Kyuubi. My lifespan is immeasurable. It is said that we can live for over 1,000 years. Having surpassed that myself, I can tell you it is true.



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I have loved more times than I care to count. And I have lost my loved ones just as many times. Sometimes I find them shortly after they have been reborn.. a child in a village that happens to notice me scouting the outskirts of town. Sometimes I bump into them mid-way through their life, thirty years gone and made miserable at failed attempts at love, because they haven't found the right female yet. And sometimes I do not find them at all.. hidden in some mountain or valley, or in some incompatible form; a curious bird or butterfly that often lingers nearby. There are times where I wait for years as they live out a natural, yet lonely life, waiting for them to die and be reincarnated once more into a form and a place that is within my grasp.

At times I feel desperate.. the loneliness can be overwhelming when you know there is a cure for it. But I wait it out, lingering in the woods, my birth place.

Sometimes I am comforted by the other woodland creatures who come to chat with me. Sometimes my comfort is found by watching, and occassionally speaking with, the humans in the surrounding towns. All of them know me.. they tell stories about me.. call me the "loyal guardian" of the forests. They know that I will never harm them, for one of their towns may one day birth my Nagi back into the world.

It is because of these stories that I earned my name, "Shinami". In the human language, "Shin" means "Loyal".. and then "Nami".. the name bestowed upon me by my beloved Nagi.. the name derived from that poor, lonely deity.

Just like Izanami, I wait and age in the physical world.. patiently waiting for the one I love to come back to me once more.

Story inspired by the song "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri, and the Japanese legend of Izanagi and Izanami.