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Information

Ubercharge has a minion!

Minion the Firefox

Ubercharge
Legacy Name: Ubercharge

The

Reborn Endeavor
Owner: Ryu

Age: 14 years, 7 months, 4 weeks

Born: October 11th, 2011

Adopted: 13 years, 10 months, 1 week ago

Adopted: July 31st, 2012

Statistics

Level: 20
Strength: 50
Defense: 48
Speed: 45
Health: 45
HP: 45/45
Intelligence: 0
Books Read: 0
Food Eaten: 0
Job: Store Clerk

"Welcome to the forge my ill-equipped friend! You want weapons? Then you're at the right place!"
An unusually cheerful robot steps out from behind the till and begins to walk you about as you step into the store. His armoured casings are all branded with 'MANN CO.' just like everything else in the shop. Even the flooring! You guess it's nice to have product consistency.
"We've got blunt weapons, blade weapons, weapons that fire bullets, rockets, sticky bombs and even weapons that make more weapons!"
He pauses in front of a strange looking metal hand and stands proudly over it.
"Now this baby gives the user the skill to make multitudes of pint-sized turrets! Aint that just fantastic?"
You nod slowly before being whisked off around the rest of the store, not quite sure what to make of the whole situation.
"Now this-" He pauses next to a gargantuan minigun no ordinary human could lift "-This beaut weighs one hundred and fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute. You know how much this thing costs to fire? Still, I've a dedicated customer that runs me ragged trying to find decent ammunition suppliers... that don't ask questions."
As much as all this interests you, you can't help but notice a large bear-like figure of a man cradling one of the guns in the corner before you're dragged away.
"And this is our extensive range of protective headgear!"
The robot gestures towards a seemingly never ending room filled with what looked like bundles of comedic hats. You have to wonder what a weapon store would be doing with such an limitless supply of fancy dress party gear, before the silly image of a group of fully grown men parading in hats promptly appears in your head. Hearing footsteps, you look behind to watch a man clad in a suit and a balaclava stroll past clutching several of the stranger looking wears intently, and chuckle to yourself at the thought.
Following the robot till he settles himself back behind the till, you find yourself at the front of the store again.
"So, what do you think? Feel free to try out any of the weapons at the firing range at the back there."
You turn round to the sound of gunfire you didn't notice before. Maybe it was all that talk about miniguns putting you to sleep.
"-Oh apart from that sword." He pointed to an ordinary looking sword on a stand near the entrance. "Yeah, don't touch that. It's cursed. I have a buyer for it anyway so I'd prefer if you didn't go covering it in blood before he gets here. Of course I've always got some medi guns in the back if anything were to go drastically wrong."
He smiles cheerfully as you walk back around the store. Maybe you could overlook the clear lack of health and safety and the unnerving stone glare from the Australium-plated Saxton Hale statue guarding the shop till and try something out...

TF2, the crate image and the MANN.CO logo are owned by Valve. Yes, this is a fan pet, and is to be taken about as seriously as a llama in a frilly hat. And put that jarate away, you repulsive bushman! Mon dieu!!
Profile and story by Tashamon