Jonathyn has a minion!

Minion the Zombiesaurus


The Hydrus Jollin
Owner: mei

Age: 3 years, 6 months, 1 day

Born: January 26th, 2011

Adopted: 1 year, 7 months, 1 week ago

Adopted: December 19th, 2012


  • Level: 1
  • Strength: 10
  • Defense: 10
  • Speed: 10
  • Health: 10
  • HP: 0/10
  • Intelligence: 0
  • Books Read: 0
  • Food Eaten: 0
  • Job:

"The 21st century has been a golden technological period for the country, as well as the world, people say. We've improved exponentially and soon we'll blast off into infinity, is the idea. We'll create the perfect society, they postulate. People will coexist in happiness and there will no be problems, no hunger, no poverty.

"I don't buy it at all.

"I was born in 2048. I'm twenty-three now and it's like I'm living in a world I can't keep up with. We have to be faster and faster and anyone who isn't in the loop falls behind and will never catch up. I mean, you know what they say: the top jobs in the market are the ones that didn't exist five years ago. When you go to college you're being prepared for jobs that don't even exist yet and if you don't go, you have no chance of becoming anything.

"My parents were so excited for me to go to college, pushing me towards engineering. And I guess it was for my own good even if I cared for none of it. I graduated with an undergraduate degree and they couldn't even look at me when I decided not to continue any longer. You're a failure if you don't go to college, but I swear if don't get a goshdarn doctorate or something you're just as low class. There's always someone better than you; nobody is irreplaceable.

"I had no passion for school, and I had no motivation for work either. I was repulsed by the idea of working until I died, never being able to free myself from the stress of working but never having enough. I told my parents just the same. My father disapproved. 'That's just your excuse for being so goshdarn lazy,' he said, and my mother said nothing but I knew she would have told me the same. My friends were a bit more sympathetic, but they told me that was just the way things were. That was life; the natural way of things. There wasn't much point in questioning it.

"And in that moment I knew I was alone. That's life? I asked. It's natural? What's so natural about society? We work until our bodies creak and we turn to dust, and for what? The money? There's nothing natural about money. A social construct—that's all money is. Just some arbitrary creation of our ancestors to give value to things we neither want nor need. Let me tell you what's natural: the cavemen hunting their own meat and farming their own food and adapting to nature rather than manipulating it. Everything since then has been forced by man.

"'Technology is improving exponentially,' they say? Exponential functions go to infinity. Infinity is only a concept, not a quantity that can or will ever be realized. If we could simplify progress as a graph, it would be a logistic function if anything. A slow increase that turns steep and slows again but never surpasses a certain value. We may be making progress as fast as the speed of light now, but everyone knows you can't go faster than that. One day we'll reach the limit.

"And that's how it is. The truth is everyone is looking into the future and never at the present. Nobody acknowledges the current fundamental problems, nor do they want to. People like me are just going to fade into the background, but that's not the society they all preach. I'm not so noble that I want to change the world for everyone. It's really the opposite. My dad is right: I'm a lazy fool. The only thing I felt I gained by being picked up by a group of dissenters was protection from a life of vagrancy. I've only gotten involved in their demonstrations because the very nature of society has forced it upon me. It's not us you should blame, it's the system. In order to have a reaction you need a catalyst, right?

"So what do you think, Officer? How's the system from your side?"

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