The following is the transcript of a Subeta News Network special report from the front lines of the war against squirrels:
Database server 2 sustained heavy damage today when squirrels overran a disk array controller, forcing technicians to update its firmware.
Fortunately, no civilian data was harmed, as database server 2 was operating solely in backup capacity at the time.
However, the recent squirrel attack will result in a 15-minute downtime window tonight beginning at 1 AM Subeta time, in order to repair the broken link between the database servers.
Programmer alx announced the downtime earlier today, as well as hinted that new tactics are being deployed to hopefully win the war against Subeta's squirrel population once and for all.
That's all we have at this time. Thank you for listening to Subeta News Network!
Posted by alx
Load this on 🆕 Kumos site
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Mark my words, I will get that squirrel.
I love the way you put this message across. Best news post about down time ever. They should all be like this <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_grin.gif" border="0" />
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wait what im very cunfused like a lot
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Yesterday my dog killed a real life squirrel.
So, I think I've attributed to the cause. haha.
So, I think I've attributed to the cause. haha.
Awesome way to let us know what is happening to our home away from home. I am tuned into Subeta News Network awaiting further updates.
No squirrels in Australia, though our possums would possibly very close. Just a whole lot bigger!! They get into everything, break, destroy and get up to their fair share of mischief. Lets hope the squirrels don't know about these guys!!
No squirrels in Australia, though our possums would possibly very close. Just a whole lot bigger!! They get into everything, break, destroy and get up to their fair share of mischief. Lets hope the squirrels don't know about these guys!!
Can't we bribe the squirrels with enough nuts to sick 'em on another site? <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_grin.gif" border="0" /> And I've always laughed at my husband when he said they're out to get us... He quotes the Geico commercial for proof, where the squirrels plot to cause that guy to wreck... Maybe ya'll could get some cats to chase them away? <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_grin.gif" border="0" />
JenniOh actually, just to announce;
Walker's have released Cajun Squirrel flavoured crisps.
Hm.
I think we will win this fight.
Walker's have released Cajun Squirrel flavoured crisps.
Hm.
I think we will win this fight.
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and they seemed so inocent sob
OHMYGODWe'reallgonnaDIE! runs around in circles screaming, smacks into a wall, and falls over, mumbling about pretty birdies
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Can we not just offer the squirrels our birdfeed?
I love how things like this get shared on this site and turned into a funny tale for all of us to read. Thanks for keeping everyone informed and as much as I hate the site going down... those sqls are so cute <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" /> Only on subeta would a site issue be turned into such a cute item.
Hey! I was just thinking... let's have a restock war, Subeta Team against the squirrels. XD
Yes - this evil squirrels are getting worse last time <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_smile.gif" border="0" />
Time to hire a squirrelscatcher <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_smile.gif" border="0" />
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YOU DAMN SQRL!
I have to admit. This is one new broadcast that I was totally glued to and laughed and cried at the same time. Awesome reporting.
Neva! We shall rule the world <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_wink.gif" border="0" />
LMAO!! Thanks For The Laugh This Was Such Funny News!!!! I Mean I Am Sorry The Servers Are Going Down But What A Great Story!! Made Me Laugh Anyway.. Thanks I Needed It!! Good Luck On Fixing Things..
lol maybe we should set up a squirrel colony far away from the servers to transport them to then you should have less and less squirrel attacks <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" /> lol
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-salutes- Good Luck!
Well, I guess I can shower since Subeta has been consuming my life since I found it a whole three days ago... I suppose I should thank the squirrels for helping me get my life together again.
Are you sure you didn't leave a can of nuts near the servers!? <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" /> Crazy squirrels...
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looks at Garenth
You.. are bad.*LOL*
You.. are bad.*LOL*
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How many times do I need to tell you.
Don't touch their nuts.
Don't touch their nuts.
Thank you for the early warning! I'll be ready! XB Those squirrels are getting pretty desperate!
will be prepared!
to the war! <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" />
to the war! <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" />
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So I herd u haet sqls.
I love you guys. xD Only you could turn a bunch of technical errors into a war against squirrels... <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" />
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Hides her squirrel army It was my fault. O.O
Poor angry rebellion squirrels, maybe they just need to be given more nuts or maybe a hug?
aw, can't you just leave some acorn over by the water cooler so the sqls leave the database alone?
Goodness, why aren't they battledome challengers yet? <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_shocked.gif" border="0" />
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squirrels taste good. lol i never tried it... =__="
I adored this news post. Who knew that a programmer could be so creative! Love is. ALX 2012!
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Does this happen every night? I joined a few months ago and it seems like the site always goes down. Not that it's a big deal but why so much?
Oh noes! Not the squirrels! <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_wink.gif" border="0" /> As always, thanks so much for the update .
I'm thankful and appreciative that they give us these notices and information, but the squirrel thing is getting kinda old. <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_happy_sweatdrop.gif" border="0" />
lmao, but now i have to go explain there arent really squirrels coming to my Mother in law... sigh.
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The squirrels are coming, HIDE THE CHILDREN 0_0
Loves it! Intrepid reporter/squirrel terminator Alx proves once again that SNN brings the scoop faster than a squirrel can fire an acorn gun! Go Team go! <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_smile.gif" border="0" />
Thanks for the heads up, though, I'll be in bed then. <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" />
shakes fists angrily at the squirrels
shakes fists angrily at the squirrels
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Fight the SQLs!
Thanks for the heads up.
I believe all of the the updates should be done like this. That was truly one of the most epic updates yet. If we get more of these I might start asking for more downtime so I can read these. <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_happy.gif" border="0" />
I believe all of the the updates should be done like this. That was truly one of the most epic updates yet. If we get more of these I might start asking for more downtime so I can read these. <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_happy.gif" border="0" />
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My money is on the Subeta Army
I totally think you will win the war
I think its World War 3
I totally think you will win the war
I think its World War 3
I wanna fight some squirrels!!!! Where do I sign up? AHHHH they took my nuts! DAMN SQUIRRELS!
I hope the Subetian Army is ready for the Squirrels. <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_wink.gif" border="0" />
lays out squirrel bait to aid in the fight
<img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_wink.gif" border="0" />
<img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_wink.gif" border="0" />
giggles
For some reason I envision a "Catch, fix and release" program for the 'beta Sqls <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" />
For some reason I envision a "Catch, fix and release" program for the 'beta Sqls <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" />
If we're going on a squirrel hunt, you really need a Woofer and maybe a few of those Hipposaru bombs.
Now being serious. Thanks for the update <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_grin.gif" border="0" />
Now being serious. Thanks for the update <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_grin.gif" border="0" />
Evil squirrels! I say we hire cat mercenaries to take out those rotten squirrels once and for all!
Best news post ever.
... fight the good fight, guys! <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_happy.gif" border="0" />
... fight the good fight, guys! <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_happy.gif" border="0" />
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It's great that the squirrels get run out of town. They pop up when you least want them to. <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_wink.gif" border="0" />
Ok, I just want to say I love all the Squirrely items and now news posts<img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_smile.gif" border="0" /> Too funny!
This definitely makes the downtime for amusing and puts a nice spin on the errors...I mean, squirrel hijackings.
Ode To Squirrel
Little squirrel on the page,
I hate you, now go away.
You drive me close to insanity,
and you really destroy me entirely.
I dispise the way you stop my quests,
so leave me be, you little pest.
You made me lose the perfect auction,
you caused me to miss those expensive stockings.
Little squirrel in front of me,
I hate your guts, so let me be.
Little squirrel on the page,
I hate you, now go away.
You drive me close to insanity,
and you really destroy me entirely.
I dispise the way you stop my quests,
so leave me be, you little pest.
You made me lose the perfect auction,
you caused me to miss those expensive stockings.
Little squirrel in front of me,
I hate your guts, so let me be.
noo, damn you squirrels!! haha I love the Subeta News Network <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_smile.gif" border="0" />
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Wow, the first copy off the press is great! I can't wait for the next issue, though it may be on happier terms ;D Thank you for the entertaining post!
Alex, you're such a dork. But we love you anyway. <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" />
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xD Haha. Now it's a war?
ROFL - thanks for the entertaining update. <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_smile.gif" border="0" />
Man I hate squirrels <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/smiley_sadface.gif" border="0" />
-shakes fist at those damn squirrels- <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_wink.gif" border="0" />
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Accursed squirrels. -glare- Is there a squirrel colony you guys haven't taken care of?