- Subeta

The following is the transcript of a Subeta News Network special report from the front lines of the war against squirrels:

Database server 2 sustained heavy damage today when squirrels overran a disk array controller, forcing technicians to update its firmware.

Fortunately, no civilian data was harmed, as database server 2 was operating solely in backup capacity at the time.

However, the recent squirrel attack will result in a 15-minute downtime window tonight beginning at 1 AM Subeta time, in order to repair the broken link between the database servers.

Programmer alx announced the downtime earlier today, as well as hinted that new tactics are being deployed to hopefully win the war against Subeta's squirrel population once and for all.

That's all we have at this time. Thank you for listening to Subeta News Network!

Posted by alx

01/22/09 8:19 pm Leave Comment

User not found: @

Mark my words, I will get that squirrel.

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Masquerade @

I love the way you put this message across. Best news post about down time ever. They should all be like this <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_grin.gif" border="0" />

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versace_633 @

Silly squirrels...cute thou O.o

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krdmtx @

guess them darn squirrls got after subeta tonight . gonna have to get them darn squirls lol

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User not found: @

wait what im very cunfused like a lot

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User not found: @

Yesterday my dog killed a real life squirrel.
So, I think I've attributed to the cause. haha.

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TheCryptKeeper @

Awesome way to let us know what is happening to our home away from home. I am tuned into Subeta News Network awaiting further updates.
No squirrels in Australia, though our possums would possibly very close. Just a whole lot bigger!! They get into everything, break, destroy and get up to their fair share of mischief. Lets hope the squirrels don't know about these guys!!

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kiruna @

Can't we bribe the squirrels with enough nuts to sick 'em on another site? <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_grin.gif" border="0" /> And I've always laughed at my husband when he said they're out to get us... He quotes the Geico commercial for proof, where the squirrels plot to cause that guy to wreck... Maybe ya'll could get some cats to chase them away? <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_grin.gif" border="0" />

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Jenni @

Oh actually, just to announce;
Walker's have released Cajun Squirrel flavoured crisps.
Hm.
I think we will win this fight.

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Jenni @

LOL. I read this with like the news suspenseful music you get in the background.
XDDD <3333

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Chameleoncat @

ahhh squirrels!! get the bazooka!!
*takes out bazooka*

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User not found: @

and they seemed so inocent *sob*

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daveyjones @

roflmao!!

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Lisa @

OHMYGODWe'reallgonnaDIE! *runs around in circles screaming, smacks into a wall, and falls over, mumbling about pretty birdies*

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User not found: @

Can we not just offer the squirrels our birdfeed?

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WAVVES @

Aren't squirrels edible?
...

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PlooshieQueen @

I love how things like this get shared on this site and turned into a funny tale for all of us to read. Thanks for keeping everyone informed and as much as I hate the site going down... those sqls are so cute <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" /> Only on subeta would a site issue be turned into such a cute item.

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minno150 @

Hey! I was just thinking... let's have a restock war, Subeta Team against the squirrels. XD

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minno150 @

XD Silly programmer.

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sunshine15 @

.....and I agree with Morticia *gg*

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sunshine15 @

Yes - this evil squirrels are getting worse last time <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_smile.gif" border="0" />

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PUNK @

I love the SQLs though! *shifty eyes*

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Morticia @

Time to hire a squirrelscatcher <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_smile.gif" border="0" />

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User not found: @

YOU DAMN SQRL!

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Opalite @

This was so much more fun to read lol

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pinkbee @

aaarrrrgggg.... now there are more errors than before. Stupid squirrels.

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meiastar @

Looks like I picked a bad time to do my item hunts. ^^;;

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Chezza @

Them squirrels are nuts!

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ManeteeMadneses @

I have to admit. This is one new broadcast that I was totally glued to and laughed and cried at the same time. Awesome reporting.

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Morgenstern @

Neva! We shall rule the world <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_wink.gif" border="0" />

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Morgenstern @

Neva! We shall rule the world >:3

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o0_CareBear_0o @

LMAO!! Thanks For The Laugh This Was Such Funny News!!!! I Mean I Am Sorry The Servers Are Going Down But What A Great Story!! Made Me Laugh Anyway.. Thanks I Needed It!! Good Luck On Fixing Things..

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Astellig @

lol maybe we should set up a squirrel colony far away from the servers to transport them to then you should have less and less squirrel attacks <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" /> lol

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User not found: @

-salutes- Good Luck!

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space @

Oof, darn those squirrels!

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glory_720 @

Well, I guess I can shower since Subeta has been consuming my life since I found it a whole three days ago... I suppose I should thank the squirrels for helping me get my life together again.

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Callisto @

Best news ever!

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Pearl_Animagus @

Are you sure you didn't leave a can of nuts near the servers!? <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" /> Crazy squirrels...

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TheseHeights @

Man, I'm seriously starting to hate squirrels with a passion now thanks to Subeta.

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Lace_and_Metal @

Stupid Squirrels!

Awesome way of letting us know :3

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AwesomeRicky @

Sql? Ugly? That's NUTS!

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Trauma @

silly squirrels, servers are for programmers.

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knochenherz_203 @

i love squirrels ._.

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Lily @

Oops, that didn't work very well.
I just wanted the images. Gaw!

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Tonne @

omg i love how you guys informed us! Very cool. Now to War! xD It's squirrel hunting time!!

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znogirl @

Very clever alx. The writer in my is highly amused. Good luck!
~Znogirl out!

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Nebulae @

God squirrels scare me.

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User not found: @

*looks at Garenth*
You.. are bad.*LOL*

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Tate @

thanks for the warning *prepares for war*

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User not found: @

How many times do I need to tell you.
Don't touch their nuts.

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Mandark @

pretty neat way to announce the site's technical problems. Good luck with the fix.

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MoogerMint @

Thank you for the early warning! I'll be ready! XB Those squirrels are getting pretty desperate!

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kiwi_714 @

will be prepared!
to the war! <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" />

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User not found: @

So I herd u haet sqls.

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Current @

My brother was right.
He always said squirrels are evil.

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Merry @

I love you guys. xD Only you could turn a bunch of technical errors into a war against squirrels... <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" />

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Sydney @

Get your squirrel hunting gun Alex and lets go squirrel hunting.

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User not found: @

*Hides her squirrel army* It was my fault. O.O

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DarkMonday @

Poor angry rebellion squirrels, maybe they just need to be given more nuts or maybe a hug?

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Ryan @

May the nutcracker be with you.

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Tate @

naughty sql's

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Flora_738 @

Sql issues = me sad. I wish the sql's were trained like willy wonka's trained squirrels.

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aiya @

aw, can't you just leave some acorn over by the water cooler so the sqls leave the database alone?

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Becky_887 @

Goodness, why aren't they battledome challengers yet? <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_shocked.gif" border="0" />

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User not found: @

squirrels taste good. lol i never tried it... =__="

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Lynelle @

That was supposed to be LOVE IT, not love is. -.-

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Lynelle @

I adored this news post. Who knew that a programmer could be so creative! Love is. ALX 2012!

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Zinx @

i hate squirrels! take their acorns.... oops...

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KathyRunkle @

Down with squirrels!! Down with squirrels!!

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User not found: @

................................................

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LoveKota @

Does this happen every night? I joined a few months ago and it seems like the site always goes down. Not that it's a big deal but why so much?

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Catwoman @

Oh noes! Not the squirrels! <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_wink.gif" border="0" /> As always, thanks so much for the update .

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Danudaine @

I'm thankful and appreciative that they give us these notices and information, but the squirrel thing is getting kinda old. <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_happy_sweatdrop.gif" border="0" />

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Mechell @

lmao, but now i have to go explain there arent really squirrels coming to my Mother in law... sigh.

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User not found: @

The squirrels are coming, HIDE THE CHILDREN 0_0

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SeriousGreen @

Loves it! Intrepid reporter/squirrel terminator Alx proves once again that SNN brings the scoop faster than a squirrel can fire an acorn gun! Go Team go! <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_smile.gif" border="0" />

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TwistedMiss @

But Bandwidth sucking Squirrels ROCK!!! Can I just keep one for a pet... Please....

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bipolarness @

Thanks for the heads up, though, I'll be in bed then. <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" />
*shakes fists angrily at the squirrels*

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User not found: @

Fight the SQLs!

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Voodoo_855 @

Thanks for the heads up.

I believe all of the the updates should be done like this. That was truly one of the most epic updates yet. If we get more of these I might start asking for more downtime so I can read these. <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_happy.gif" border="0" />

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bracket @

Too cute :3

Go fight them squirrels!

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User not found: @

My money is on the Subeta Army
I totally think you will win the war
I think its World War 3

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AdamRose444 @

I wanna fight some squirrels!!!! Where do I sign up? AHHHH they took my nuts! DAMN SQUIRRELS!

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RipfangDragon @

Yo dawg, i herd you like squirrels. XD

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andijr @

It seems like it never ends. Will we ever see it resolved?

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AIRIGH @

Where do I sign up to fight the good war?!
---
QFT.

But still thanks for the update. =D

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Purity @

I hope the Subetian Army is ready for the Squirrels. <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_wink.gif" border="0" />

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Monsoon @

*lays out squirrel bait to aid in the fight*

<img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_wink.gif" border="0" />

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echo_5969 @

I heard squirrels are a pest! LOL

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EscapedPixel @

AHHH!! Squirrrels??

-Runs off to hide my nuts-

Hehehehe

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Serenity @

*giggles*
For some reason I envision a "Catch, fix and release" program for the 'beta Sqls <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_raspberry.gif" border="0" />

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VintageDoll @

Oh, no! Naughty little squirrels. o-o

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Twit @

If we're going on a squirrel hunt, you really need a Woofer and maybe a few of those Hipposaru bombs.

Now being serious. Thanks for the update <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_grin.gif" border="0" />

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waltz @

.__.

Attack of the squirrels?
Ah, well. It makes a very entertaining new post. xD

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Alkuna @

Evil squirrels! I say we hire cat mercenaries to take out those rotten squirrels once and for all!

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nier @

REPORTING FOR DUTY, SIR.

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styn @

Where do I sign up to fight the good war?!

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janan @

I love you Alex. Continue the war with the dreaded Squirrels!

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Ampersand @

Best news post ever.
... fight the good fight, guys! <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_happy.gif" border="0" />

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User not found: @

It's great that the squirrels get run out of town. They pop up when you least want them to. <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_wink.gif" border="0" />

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taffyann @

Ok, I just want to say I love all the Squirrely items and now news posts<img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_smile.gif" border="0" /> Too funny!

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Bagheera23608 @

Excellent reporting. I will nominate you for the Pulitizer!

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ShakenBridge @

This definitely makes the downtime for amusing and puts a nice spin on the errors...I mean, squirrel hijackings.

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Alchemy @

Ode To Squirrel

Little squirrel on the page,
I hate you, now go away.
You drive me close to insanity,
and you really destroy me entirely.
I dispise the way you stop my quests,
so leave me be, you little pest.
You made me lose the perfect auction,
you caused me to miss those expensive stockings.
Little squirrel in front of me,
I hate your guts, so let me be.

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lieutfaber @

Silly SQLs.

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CrystalNightFox @

Interesting.

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Scorpia_637 @

lol that was the most entertaining news i've ever read.

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Rarre @

noo, damn you squirrels!! haha I love the Subeta News Network <img src="http://images.subeta.net/smilies/6398_emoticon_smile.gif" border="0" />

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User not found: @

Wow, the first copy off the press is great! I can't wait for the next issue, though it may be on happier terms ;D Thank you for the entertaining post!

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