It\'s time for your old friend Elwood, again!

Good News: The pizza business is booming! I’ve even learned to cook, so now my pizzas are at least 50% more edible!



Still, even with all my success as restaurateur, chef, and delivery boy, I feel like I could be more successful if I had, oh... a storefront? Not that I don\'t appreciate the semi-incorporeal state I\'m in now, mind you, it just gets pretty tiresome returning to the void of unknowability at the end of the day and it really does a number on your social life. Have you ever tried to invite someone back to your place only to realize that their knowledge of the fourth wall might be less nuanced than yours, and visiting The Place Between might raise some pretty heavy existential questions for them?



Psychedelic concepts of semi-existence aside, and back to the storefront idea, I\'ve been putting some things together on my own! I\'ve got some plans drawn up for my new business (and hopefully enough of a nest egg to bribe an artist into drawing me back onto the map), and I think it\'s really cool; The concept is a kid\'s pizza place, you know? With characters and party rooms?  I\'ve even started buying up these old animatronics from some other place that went out of business a while ago. They\'re in pretty good condition but... uh... well...



Listen I\'m not an expert or anything, but do these things have a hidden battery pack or something? I was pretty sure they would need to be wired in to the building and all, but these ones never seem to be exactly where I left them, and I swear their eyes follow me around the place. Does anyone remember Benny Bunkins\'s Pizza? Was this kind of thing normal? I\'ve been searching and it says that they closed down due to unusual circumstances, but I\'m beginning to think that "unusual" might have been a misleading word choice.



Maybe you can take a look at one of them for me? I\'m going to ship you one of the smaller characters to you and, uh, you know what? Feel free to keep it. I\'ll send a nice stiff drink along, too.



Elwooden Crate


Benny Bun
Wood Bourbon
User Avatar: 336132

Posted by [NPC] Elwood

Ran

OMG, this is why I love Subeta.
0

gucci

I love dis. FNAF is everywhere XD
0

Keeper_of_the_triforce

I hope this becomes part of the halloween event later this year. I wanna fight animatronics.
3

Katastrophy

Five Nights at Freddy's Reference ftw! <3
1

Jasper

Okay honey, be safe. Bring a sword!
0

Arkka

Bless you guys for the FNaF reference. :heart:
1

Dr.Nena

This won't end well, animatronics never do...
1

Bailey_435

But yeah, you don't like the game, so what
3

QueenOfImladris

This lil doll is just so adorably creepy...I love it! :heart:
I practically live on horror movies and games but regrettably, my laptop probably wouldn't be able to handle FNaF.
It is fun watching other people play it though. >=3
2

Bailey_435

@Maxine Same, I thought it was supposed to be Robbie the Rabbit at first! Also, it's a shame that some people can't stand to even have a horror game *vaguely referenced* and have to make sure everyone knows they don't like it.
5

HalfBlood

No Elwood! Don't do it!! (Love the ref :P)
1

Frieda

Minus 10 million million points for the Robert the Doll reference. Don't take his picture!
0

Tenka

nnnoOOOOOOOO
0

Hellbent

I! DONT! WANT! TO! BE! STUFFED! IN! AN! ANAMATRONIC! SUIT! WITH THE SPRINGS AND THE UGH AND THE DEAD KIDS AND THE EUUUGHHGGGGG
WHERE'S MY MASK AND FLASHLIGHT AND THE KEYS TO THE PLACE 'CAUSE I AM OUTTA THERE
NOPE
1

Calm

+ 1 million points for the Five Nights at Freddy's reference. XD
2

clatskani

O u know how I like my drinks
Marry me
2

Inklingjester

Thanks for the free gift.Templeton liked the pizza but the stiff drink made him alittle tippsie.
1

Ritual

Haha, at first I was all "what, no adolescent reference to wood this time?" Then I saw the description for the liquor...Elwood, you never disappoint, man. Good luck with your incorporeal and haunted pizza shop.
2

Spiral

Aww, I like Five Nights at Freddies.
3

EmilyMae

I don't care about Freddy whoever or Bunny whatever. I just need to know the most important thing in the universe...Am I getting pizza?!?!?
I just want pizza!
4

LadySlayer

Geeze people disliking the reference? Way to ruin a good mood. (though I guess its just not everyone's cup of tea.) Love the ref none the less xD
7

SaboKat

Five Nights at Freddie's...ugh -_-
4

finilain

I don't play horror games since I am scared to death by kind of everything, so I didn't get this reference and thought there would be a new plot or something :D thank you, Elwood! :)
3

LaraAnita

Alright, now I'm wanting a plot with this XD
2

Nova

... Ok, stiff drink... wood bourbon. That took entirely too long for me to grasp, kudos to you Elwood.
4

Hollykins

Dont think we dont know what you are doing subeta... dont you let that five nights at freddys juju in here.. The last time I saw Bonnie... *shutters*
4

Maxine

Obvious fnaf reference, aside. Is anyone else getting Robbie the Rabbit vibes from little Benny here?
5

Nova

FNAF... dear me. You just made me so freaking happy right now. <3
1

Digitalis

I don't care too much for Five Nights (watching pwnageshow do it was amusing though)... For those who don't know, it's a video game popular on the Internet. Survival-horror centering around a creepy pizza joint :D Not your typical "RUN AWAY" survival though.
0

Stiles

Lol I thought this was going to be some puzzle/beginning of a plot thing to help him build the shop and thought I was just lost on what to do. Thank you for the items! :)
5

ThatTMSguy

if i work there, would i have to stay...five nights at Benny's?! *bu dum tsss*
1

wicht

Five nights past the fourth wall om G
3

Zay

Did we really have to go with a 5 nights at freddy's reference?
I'm sorry, I just don't like that er game.
4

Sabina

As long as I don't have to get in a suit, or work security I'm A-Okay with this.
7

FCoD

Well thank you Elwood...
0

Bot

slides the crate back to elwood while slowly shaking head
7

Nefarian

Ugh
rofl
0

Delirium

I'm just glad we got bourbon. :p Need that for my TC.
2

CakeMoose

Awww, I love it! Let's just try to avoid letting anyone climb into those animatronic suits though, yeah? Or any gruesome Subetan murder plots for that matter :x
0

Aragarthiel

I log on, see this, then see the Papa John's ad at the top of the screen XD
5

devils_flame666

Brings me to the free gift page and tells me I got my gift already. k cool.
0

Bailey_435

Oh my god, I've never heard of this game but point-and-click adventure games are my SHIT. Especially horror games. Thanks Subeta, I know what I'm doing for the next few hours.
0

KiaArra

Man, I've never played FNaF, but my most vivid childhood nightmare was of the Pizza Hut animatronics robots going evil and destroying everything. Elwood, you know I love you, but I don't know how I feel about you reminding me of my worst childhood memory!
2

Lexx

Love this reference! Such a creepy doll too! Perfect. :D
0

JOJO

I am the happiest person on earth right now q_q
2

Florrosada12

NO ELWOOD! DON'T START UP THE PIZZA PLACE!
4

StarShadow

No clue what fnaf is but cool to get new stuff.
0

_blackwolf_2009_

And I been watching FNAF let's plays lately. -lol- Love it!
2

Extract

This is funny because I only just heard of FNAF last week ;)
0

Blastoise

really, a five nights at freddy's reference!? XDDD
0

Medli

fnaf? ehhhh
0

jellophish

Oh my God.
0

AdamRose444

Well Elwood, I'm never working at your place. I don't wanna get killed off by a robot.
1

TaintedTamer

Flash your flashlight! Oh god no doors! AHHHHHH -
2

Vibidi

FNAF <3
2

Rikku

Omg this is so great. I love it. FNaF videos never cease to make me laugh. Though when I play them I'm a big baby as well. XD
2

Greg

Quote by Muerte:
Not enough dick jokes.
Not enough gif comments either, I want my money back.
6

Futurama

NEW JOB AGENCY JOB: Working as a security guard at Elwood's pizza place during night shift. 120sP a day.
19

Stakely

why have i never heard of FNoF??????????

I WILL EMBARK ON THIS NEW JOURNEY
2

Wolf_Spirit

Target selected...FIRE!!!! *blows freaky rabbit to pieces& good riddance *shudders& deleted my copy of said rabbit and couldn't be happier lol
1

Sleeb

@Speiro
Ohgod, neglected shops? Atebus update, please!

I've watched my hubby do some security work for a pizza place at work a few times. That sounds like a terrible idea, Elwood. My suggestion is to get serious security doors and a reliable power generator.
1

StarShadow

I don't get it, but thanks for the free gift.
0

Sun

FNAF? This sounds amazing oh my god
2

Austria

Hmm. I wish you all the luck with your new business, Elwood... but if you have the capital to buy new ones, I'd consider junking those old animals. You need your OWN slant on the kids' pizza concept, not just to... revive a dead one. *ahem* If you do decide to use the Benny Bunkin animals, I'd suggest putting your nighttime security guards through a rigorous screening process before you hire them. Just in case.
4

Luck

thank goodness subeta made a fnaf reference to make me extremely uncomfortable. thank the greater good for adblocking images though.
4

Targaryen

Thank you so much Elwood! I love the sci-fi theme of animatronics coming to life!
1

Andrea

Fsrvtjjurdwsd XDD!

My only complaint is this is a bun and not a kanis but otherwise this is fantastic BOOZE AND FNAF. Life is good.
3

Crystallis

FNAF omg
0

corpse

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
0

Sirius

I think my humor is still in bed...

But thanks for the bourbon.
4

Les

perfect. oh my god. i love this fn@f ref

also burbon for Jensen. Sweet!
0

Les

perfect. oh my god. i love this fn@f ref

also burbon for Jensen. Sweet!
0

Rowan

Elwood Day is one of my favorite days of the year. Thanks for the FNAF item, and the strong drink, Elwood-bro.

"I'd like to order something strong."
"Wait your turn, fancypants!"
4

TracyH

Thanks, Elwood. Appreciate the gift.
0

far

No pizza :c
2

pandemonium

bless you for the fn@f item. I think elwood is now my favorite ever
2

Parakeet

I got so excited as soon as I saw Bennie. Five Nights at Freddy's! I love it. Haha!
1

Speiro

Is this month's theme terror? Or interdimensional travel? Neglected shops?
2

Bubbledog

YES!!! I was going to make a suggestion about needing some Five Night's at Freddy's stuff, but looks like you guys are already on it. So awesome...
4

Screech93

Happy Elwood Day! :D
0

Centaur

SCREAMS (yes please)
1

archfey

as soon as i saw "kid's pizza place" i was like YES PLEASE. i love benny bun and i'm glad to see i'm not alone in wanting more creepy animatronic stuff on site
2

Oreobot

ELWOOD I COULD KISS YOUR FACE THANK YOU FOR PRECIOUS HAUNTED ROBO BUN
I love FNAF so much ahhhhhh!!
1

Inknote

Oh heaven help
0

Yuzu

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDIE'S REFERENCE.
YES.
VERY AMUSE. MUCH APPROVE.
5

heARSE

Yesss!
I was hoping we'd get some creepy animatronic items! 8D
2

Higanbana

Elwood, Elwood.

I think you need to return those animatronics.

I heard they've bit someone before.
1

DistantFawn

Is that a Five Nights at Freddie's reference I see?! *Chants NOPE about a thousand times* And those puns...
0

Blaziken

DON'T DO IT, ELWOOD.
1

Valenrhyme

FNAF, yes! I hope there's more of these to come!
1

Hamda

You made me read an entire paragraph just to point out a five nights at freddy's reference in a free gift?

Good Job! love whoever thought of this :D
1

ashleighsaur

ohhh man no FNAF games please. i will not sleep for days
1

mallory

AAHH. THAT BENNY BUN IS A MINION.
YESSS.
0

Hosui

This is great, I love it.
0

VITALY

Once again the joke's lost on me!
8

Atomic

I'm not very familiar with FNAF but i approve of the creepy factor. Besides, the first thing this brought to mind was memories of going to Showbiz Pizza as a kid, and those animatronics really were a little spooky...

I'm excited for this to become a permanent part of the Subeta map so i hope that's for real!
6

badtouches

rest in pieces, elwood.
1

Anasazi

Benny Bun
is so cute! I need hundreds of these!!!
3

Dandelion

I sometimes think I'm the only person familiar with the game who didn't find it remotely terrifying. I love spooky games but fnaf is literally just standing there pressing buttons to try to delay a standard jumpscare that instakills you.
3

fable

as long as i'm not working security, you can have all the messed up animatronics you want pal.
12

Vanitas

Oh dear lord
1

Lyriel

OOOOH MYYY GOOOD
1

Cobaltbluetoo

I had to Google Five Nights at Freddys to get it. Never heard of it and now that I've read Wiki I think I'm going to stay hidden. What an amazing story! I've sent the Benny Bun to my minion zoo and fed the Wood Bourbon to my Bacon chasing pet. She said she loved it so I thank you for making her so happy! :)
3

Junkrat

Legitimately had a smile at this ref lmaooo. ♥

And anyone who wants to angst about said refs, your buns would have a nice home with me-- so sip your stiff drink and get mailing your problematic animatronics this way okthankyou. c:
7

Tserel

The real question is: will Elwood ever get an actual place on the map? Tune in at 5 to find out.
12

Who

When are animatronics ever a good idea in this day and age, no no no NO just no smh
1

Lilith69xxx

Wood is always good! Thanks for the gift! BTW,Elwood,references to American pseudo pop culture that is soon to disappear without a trace is beneath you.
0

Desilyna

Nice... I didn't even get the reference, and I've played the game before. Now I might need to try it again.
0

Bathory

Hey if you don't want that creepy bun ILL TAKE THEM ALL
1

atempause

this reference makes me so happy
and my fnaf pet too
3

Rocketlauncher

One night at Elwood's is a night too many D:
11

Illusion

To those wanting to know its a creepy video game reference;P
0

Muerte

Not enough dick jokes.
26

Curbstomped

I kinda really hope we get more of these "Benny Bunkin" updates and stories, I love this! We need more scary stuff on this site >:^D
4

Alcremie

@Belladonnareed You are SO lucky you don't get that reference.
0

wordless

This must be real... I have no idea what others are talking about but a pizza place yes please
0

Hetty

Five Nights at Freddys? Eeep, never heard of it *runs to google*
2

Hannah66665

Oh god, no. Just no. Can say I didn't see that coming when I started reading. XD
2

Abaven

@MarissaUnderground
Glad to see I'm not alone. XD
0

Spirit_Foxy

lol. it's a five nights at freddy's ref
14

Illusion

lol five nights at freddies refxD
2

Prussia

Haha this is awesome.
0

Abaven

On a different note, please tell me that this Elwood pizza place, is going to become an actually thing (aside from the inevitable fnaf references).
13

Sovereign

Well it was nice knowing you Elwood
We all know what's gonna happen next. A+ business choice dude
15

Alcremie

@Kittyclaws911 I know, one of the many reasons why I can't stand those games.
0

FeralPup

This makes me happy in about 74 different ways.

At least.
7

Pagan

Not familiar with the reference...but that is creepy! *hides in back of vault*
0

Seoni

So how many night shift employees are you gonna go through?
12

Tserel

the newest fnaf game is lookin great elwood
0

Abaven

Oh god...five nights at Freddie's on subeta too? I can't escape this freaking game! It's everywhere!
12

Alcremie

No. No FNAF stuff. Nope. Nu-uh. Nope. Don;t need that here. :X

*sorry I just really really hate fnaf...*
7

itsdash

good luck elwood :P
0

Moran

OMG ELWOOD! Stay away from these animatronics! D: (FNAF reference ftw)
2

Seraphim

Oh.... hello Five Nights at Freddy's Reference....
nopenopenope.
3

Musician

This entire reference just made me NOPE.
9

flamboyantCuttlefish

A long, elaborate story to justify the pun "Elwooden Crate."

I highly approve.
8

Tserel

is this whole thing a fuckin five nights at freddies ref omg
4

moonflower_goddess

ohhhhhhhhhhh thankyou so much elwood its lovely
0

Tserel

Praise be to Elwood! Everyone needs some wood in their life.
2

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