It\'s time for your old friend Elwood, again!
Good News: The pizza business is booming! I’ve even learned to cook, so now my pizzas are at least 50% more edible!
Still, even with all my success as restaurateur, chef, and delivery boy, I feel like I could be more successful if I had, oh... a storefront? Not that I don\'t appreciate the semi-incorporeal state I\'m in now, mind you, it just gets pretty tiresome returning to the void of unknowability at the end of the day and it really does a number on your social life. Have you ever tried to invite someone back to your place only to realize that their knowledge of the fourth wall might be less nuanced than yours, and visiting The Place Between might raise some pretty heavy existential questions for them?
Psychedelic concepts of semi-existence aside, and back to the storefront idea, I\'ve been putting some things together on my own! I\'ve got some plans drawn up for my new business (and hopefully enough of a nest egg to bribe an artist into drawing me back onto the map), and I think it\'s really cool; The concept is a kid\'s pizza place, you know? With characters and party rooms? Â I\'ve even started buying up these old animatronics from some other place that went out of business a while ago. They\'re in pretty good condition but... uh... well...
Listen I\'m not an expert or anything, but do these things have a hidden battery pack or something? I was pretty sure they would need to be wired in to the building and all, but these ones never seem to be exactly where I left them, and I swear their eyes follow me around the place. Does anyone remember Benny Bunkins\'s Pizza? Was this kind of thing normal? I\'ve been searching and it says that they closed down due to unusual circumstances, but I\'m beginning to think that "unusual" might have been a misleading word choice.
Maybe you can take a look at one of them for me? I\'m going to ship you one of the smaller characters to you and, uh, you know what? Feel free to keep it. I\'ll send a nice stiff drink along, too.
Still, even with all my success as restaurateur, chef, and delivery boy, I feel like I could be more successful if I had, oh... a storefront? Not that I don\'t appreciate the semi-incorporeal state I\'m in now, mind you, it just gets pretty tiresome returning to the void of unknowability at the end of the day and it really does a number on your social life. Have you ever tried to invite someone back to your place only to realize that their knowledge of the fourth wall might be less nuanced than yours, and visiting The Place Between might raise some pretty heavy existential questions for them?
Psychedelic concepts of semi-existence aside, and back to the storefront idea, I\'ve been putting some things together on my own! I\'ve got some plans drawn up for my new business (and hopefully enough of a nest egg to bribe an artist into drawing me back onto the map), and I think it\'s really cool; The concept is a kid\'s pizza place, you know? With characters and party rooms? Â I\'ve even started buying up these old animatronics from some other place that went out of business a while ago. They\'re in pretty good condition but... uh... well...
Listen I\'m not an expert or anything, but do these things have a hidden battery pack or something? I was pretty sure they would need to be wired in to the building and all, but these ones never seem to be exactly where I left them, and I swear their eyes follow me around the place. Does anyone remember Benny Bunkins\'s Pizza? Was this kind of thing normal? I\'ve been searching and it says that they closed down due to unusual circumstances, but I\'m beginning to think that "unusual" might have been a misleading word choice.
Maybe you can take a look at one of them for me? I\'m going to ship you one of the smaller characters to you and, uh, you know what? Feel free to keep it. I\'ll send a nice stiff drink along, too.
Posted by [NPC] Elwood
Keeper_of_the_triforce
I hope this becomes part of the halloween event later this year. I wanna fight animatronics.
3
QueenOfImladris
This lil doll is just so adorably creepy...I love it! :heart:
I practically live on horror movies and games but regrettably, my laptop probably wouldn't be able to handle FNaF.
It is fun watching other people play it though. >=3
I practically live on horror movies and games but regrettably, my laptop probably wouldn't be able to handle FNaF.
It is fun watching other people play it though. >=3
2
Bailey_435
@Maxine Same, I thought it was supposed to be Robbie the Rabbit at first! Also, it's a shame that some people can't stand to even have a horror game *vaguely referenced* and have to make sure everyone knows they don't like it.
5
Hellbent
I! DONT! WANT! TO! BE! STUFFED! IN! AN! ANAMATRONIC! SUIT! WITH THE SPRINGS AND THE UGH AND THE DEAD KIDS AND THE EUUUGHHGGGGG
WHERE'S MY MASK AND FLASHLIGHT AND THE KEYS TO THE PLACE 'CAUSE I AM OUTTA THERE
NOPE
WHERE'S MY MASK AND FLASHLIGHT AND THE KEYS TO THE PLACE 'CAUSE I AM OUTTA THERE
NOPE
1
Inklingjester
Thanks for the free gift.Templeton liked the pizza but the stiff drink made him alittle tippsie.
1
Ritual
Haha, at first I was all "what, no adolescent reference to wood this time?" Then I saw the description for the liquor...Elwood, you never disappoint, man. Good luck with your incorporeal and haunted pizza shop.
2
EmilyMae
I don't care about Freddy whoever or Bunny whatever. I just need to know the most important thing in the universe...Am I getting pizza?!?!?
I just want pizza!
I just want pizza!
4
LadySlayer
Geeze people disliking the reference? Way to ruin a good mood. (though I guess its just not everyone's cup of tea.) Love the ref none the less xD
7
finilain
I don't play horror games since I am scared to death by kind of everything, so I didn't get this reference and thought there would be a new plot or something :D thank you, Elwood! :)
3
Nova
... Ok, stiff drink... wood bourbon. That took entirely too long for me to grasp, kudos to you Elwood.
4
Hollykins
Dont think we dont know what you are doing subeta... dont you let that five nights at freddys juju in here.. The last time I saw Bonnie... *shutters*
4
Maxine
Obvious fnaf reference, aside. Is anyone else getting Robbie the Rabbit vibes from little Benny here?
5
Digitalis
I don't care too much for Five Nights (watching pwnageshow do it was amusing though)... For those who don't know, it's a video game popular on the Internet. Survival-horror centering around a creepy pizza joint :D Not your typical "RUN AWAY" survival though.
0
Stiles
Lol I thought this was going to be some puzzle/beginning of a plot thing to help him build the shop and thought I was just lost on what to do. Thank you for the items! :)
5
Zay
Did we really have to go with a 5 nights at freddy's reference?
I'm sorry, I just don't like that er game.
I'm sorry, I just don't like that er game.
4
CakeMoose
Awww, I love it! Let's just try to avoid letting anyone climb into those animatronic suits though, yeah? Or any gruesome Subetan murder plots for that matter :x
0
Bailey_435
Oh my god, I've never heard of this game but point-and-click adventure games are my SHIT. Especially horror games. Thanks Subeta, I know what I'm doing for the next few hours.
0
KiaArra
Man, I've never played FNaF, but my most vivid childhood nightmare was of the Pizza Hut animatronics robots going evil and destroying everything. Elwood, you know I love you, but I don't know how I feel about you reminding me of my worst childhood memory!
2
AdamRose444
Well Elwood, I'm never working at your place. I don't wanna get killed off by a robot.
1
Rikku
Omg this is so great. I love it. FNaF videos never cease to make me laugh. Though when I play them I'm a big baby as well. XD
2
Futurama
NEW JOB AGENCY JOB: Working as a security guard at Elwood's pizza place during night shift. 120sP a day.
19
Wolf_Spirit
Target selected...FIRE!!!! *blows freaky rabbit to pieces& good riddance *shudders& deleted my copy of said rabbit and couldn't be happier lol
1
Austria
Hmm. I wish you all the luck with your new business, Elwood... but if you have the capital to buy new ones, I'd consider junking those old animals. You need your OWN slant on the kids' pizza concept, not just to... revive a dead one. *ahem* If you do decide to use the Benny Bunkin animals, I'd suggest putting your nighttime security guards through a rigorous screening process before you hire them. Just in case.
4
Luck
thank goodness subeta made a fnaf reference to make me extremely uncomfortable. thank the greater good for adblocking images though.
4
Andrea
Fsrvtjjurdwsd XDD!
My only complaint is this is a bun and not a kanis but otherwise this is fantastic BOOZE AND FNAF. Life is good.
My only complaint is this is a bun and not a kanis but otherwise this is fantastic BOOZE AND FNAF. Life is good.
3
Rowan
Elwood Day is one of my favorite days of the year. Thanks for the FNAF item, and the strong drink, Elwood-bro.
"I'd like to order something strong."
"Wait your turn, fancypants!"
"I'd like to order something strong."
"Wait your turn, fancypants!"
4
Bubbledog
YES!!! I was going to make a suggestion about needing some Five Night's at Freddy's stuff, but looks like you guys are already on it. So awesome...
4
archfey
as soon as i saw "kid's pizza place" i was like YES PLEASE. i love benny bun and i'm glad to see i'm not alone in wanting more creepy animatronic stuff on site
2
Oreobot
ELWOOD I COULD KISS YOUR FACE THANK YOU FOR PRECIOUS HAUNTED ROBO BUN
I love FNAF so much ahhhhhh!!
I love FNAF so much ahhhhhh!!
1
Higanbana
Elwood, Elwood.
I think you need to return those animatronics.
I heard they've bit someone before.
I think you need to return those animatronics.
I heard they've bit someone before.
1
InkSpell
Is that a Five Nights at Freddie's reference I see?! *Chants NOPE about a thousand times* And those puns...
0
Hamda
You made me read an entire paragraph just to point out a five nights at freddy's reference in a free gift?
Good Job! love whoever thought of this :D
Good Job! love whoever thought of this :D
1
Synth
I'm not very familiar with FNAF but i approve of the creepy factor. Besides, the first thing this brought to mind was memories of going to Showbiz Pizza as a kid, and those animatronics really were a little spooky...
I'm excited for this to become a permanent part of the Subeta map so i hope that's for real!
I'm excited for this to become a permanent part of the Subeta map so i hope that's for real!
6
Shuck
I sometimes think I'm the only person familiar with the game who didn't find it remotely terrifying. I love spooky games but fnaf is literally just standing there pressing buttons to try to delay a standard jumpscare that instakills you.
3
fable
as long as i'm not working security, you can have all the messed up animatronics you want pal.
12
Cobaltbluetoo
I had to Google Five Nights at Freddys to get it. Never heard of it and now that I've read Wiki I think I'm going to stay hidden. What an amazing story! I've sent the Benny Bun to my minion zoo and fed the Wood Bourbon to my Bacon chasing pet. She said she loved it so I thank you for making her so happy! :)
3
Junkrat
Legitimately had a smile at this ref lmaooo. ♥
And anyone who wants to angst about said refs, your buns would have a nice home with me-- so sip your stiff drink and get mailing your problematic animatronics this way okthankyou. c:
And anyone who wants to angst about said refs, your buns would have a nice home with me-- so sip your stiff drink and get mailing your problematic animatronics this way okthankyou. c:
7
Tserel
The real question is: will Elwood ever get an actual place on the map? Tune in at 5 to find out.
12
Lilith69xxx
Wood is always good! Thanks for the gift! BTW,Elwood,references to American pseudo pop culture that is soon to disappear without a trace is beneath you.
0
Desilyna
Nice... I didn't even get the reference, and I've played the game before. Now I might need to try it again.
0
Curbstomped
I kinda really hope we get more of these "Benny Bunkin" updates and stories, I love this! We need more scary stuff on this site >:^D
4
wordless
This must be real... I have no idea what others are talking about but a pizza place yes please
0
Abaven
On a different note, please tell me that this Elwood pizza place, is going to become an actually thing (aside from the inevitable fnaf references).
13
Sovereign
Well it was nice knowing you Elwood
We all know what's gonna happen next. A+ business choice dude
We all know what's gonna happen next. A+ business choice dude
15
Abaven
Oh god...five nights at Freddie's on subeta too? I can't escape this freaking game! It's everywhere!
12
Alcremie
No. No FNAF stuff. Nope. Nu-uh. Nope. Don;t need that here. :X
*sorry I just really really hate fnaf...*
*sorry I just really really hate fnaf...*
7
flamboyantCuttlefish
A long, elaborate story to justify the pun "Elwooden Crate."
I highly approve.
I highly approve.
8