Information

Butts has a minion!

TP the Booty Picker

Butts
Legacy Name: Butts

The

Scribble Bovyne
Owner:

Destiny

Age: 6 years, 2 months, 3 weeks

Born: January 30th, 2018

Adopted: 6 years, 2 months, 3 weeks ago

Adopted: January 30th, 2018

Pet Spotlight Winner
November 5th, 2019

Statistics

Level: 1
Strength: 9
Defense: 10
Speed: 11
Health: 10
HP: 10/10
Intelligence: 0
Books Read: 0
Food Eaten: 0
Job: Unemployed

★

II.

III.

IV.

The Butts of all Jokes

*poooooooot*

You jump up from your seat to find a whoopee cushion. Darn it! Butts is at it again. You hear a chuckle coming from somewhere near but you don't see anyone. That silly bovyne has to be around here! You start to walk towards where you THINK the sound came from and you hear a guffaw in a completely different location. You turn on your heel and that is when you notice the toilet paper stuck to your shoe. BUTTS!!! The laughter is sounding more out of control, the angrier you get. After removing the offending sheets, you try and search for the little lass. Did that last laugh come from the other room? You start to go towards the doorway and stop dead in your tracks--there is a wire across the jamb. You peek in and peer upwards. Yup...of course there is a bucket up there. But does it have water or just tons of confetti? Neither strike you as something you'd want falling on your head. You know she is harmless, but boy oh boy is she annoying sometimes.

You feel yourself calm and prepare for the next inevitable prank. As you go to step over the line, you feel yourself magnetized to the ground. WHAT IS GOI---there is a crash as you kiss the floor. That sneaker tied your shoelaces together when you were contemplating the bucket. BUTTS!!!!! The yell roaring from your aching jaw just makes the tiny prankster squeal with delight. It takes you a moment to gather yourself back up and go back into the living room. You cannot take another prank. The ones she has already pulled has left you exhausted. You sit in your comfy chair (after of course removing the whoopee cushion) and start to doze off. Now if only your nose wasn't so itchy. You go to swat away whatever is bothering your nostrils and--WHOA! That must have been a big one! You rush to the bathroom to wash off the blood and realize that SOMEONE has put shaving cream in your hands. BUTTS!!!!!!

Lard

Meat balloon. Sausage puppet. Edible dirigible. Lard, best friend to Butts, was found in a dumpster. Butts' owner tried throwing it away when she brought it home, but it keeps ending up in the house. Even threats of homelessness don't matter (because she knows as well as anyone that her owner would never follow through). There have been 45 days since the last time she was able to find Butts' "friend."

I think she is offering a reward for anyone that can make Lard disappear. Good luck!

Patty

Don't let her rotund, cheery face fool you, if it weren't for Patty, Butts wouldn't have half the stuff she uses for pranks. Patty was a sideshow act at a local circus that had decided to stay in town indefinitely. To make some extra money for more food, she sells confetti, thin wires, and other fun stuff to Lard so that she can torture her owner. For a while, she had no idea where the bovyne was getting all this stuff but she finally found the two plotting in the back yard one day.

She is currently trying to petition the local government officials to send the circus packing....

Catholic

Definitely NOT the religion. This is the scary product of a mad scientist who was also a crazy cat lady. Three heads--and only one of them friends with Butts. The other two, well one just wants go home mostly and the third wants a flank steak...rare. Makes for an interesting friendship. Her owner tends to stay away from all three since they can't seem to agree on whether they want to claw her or let her pet them. Do NOT touch the wrong spot. And good luck finding the right one...

The local animal shelter has tried to catch this one for years. Fast as lightning and mean as spit.