Doris has a minion!

Betty the Mittsy

"Hello there and welcome to my little bakery. I know it is a bit out of the way, being in a retirement community and all, but I hope to make it worth your while." The tiny kerubi behind the counter smiles across at you. You can tell that her arms are strong from years of stirring and lifting sacks of flour, but she somehow still looks as fragile as her 80-year-old frame should. The case in front of you is not filled with the normal wears you would expect. The flavors and colors pop put at you from behind the glass and anyone that looked too long was apt to drool. There were lime green cupcakes that tasted like Gluteus Fruit with neon yellow Lubbery Fruit tapioca pearls on top--they stick together and form a swirled crown like regular frosting, but when you eat them, they burst in your mouth and fill your taste buds with a fizzy sweetness. The little lady smiles when you look at those because no one can figure out her secret. But her biggest accomplishment is in a cruller form. The effervescent eclair is so light and airy, that anyone eating it becomes hungry instead of full. What is the purpose of that, you ask? No more spoiled dinners for the kiddos! Now they can have desert first and they come running home ravenous for that dinner.

At least that is her biggest accomplishment that most know of...

You see...Doris is a criminal. I know, I know. How could that sweet granny face hurt even a spider? Well, spiders are crawly and gross so I suppose that is not a stretch but I mean it friend! You best not cross this one. How could this happen? How could she bring herself to a life of crime? Well, it all started on her front porch on a sunny day. She was rocking, as elderly ladies tend to do, with her two friends at the retirement home, Gerry and Morty. Gerry was a longtime friend from high school and she was also a bit of a...well, a tart. She was a hopeless flirt and she was laying it thick on poor Morty. He was a newer resident and took to the two ladies quickly since they were some of the more friendly neighbors. There was a light breeze passing through the windchimes that Doris had hanging from the rotting wood covering her porch. She was in an older home than she is now and it constantly needed repairs. "I am so tired of the floor creaking more than my knees," she whined. Gerry told her that the only way to get something better was to have a business so that she could buy her way up to the nicer places. Doris nodded and at that very moment, a group of college kids rode by in their car, mooning the three elderly citizens. Unfortunately, this was not a rare occurrence. But somehow, this one day was different. Doris stood, nodded and hobbled inside.

She did not emerge from her home for days. Gerry and Morty thought she had gone crazy. They would knock and knock to no answer. They just heard the kerubi in the kitchen making a rather large ruckus. When she finally did come out, she was wearing a clean, new pink apron and had a rickety cart full of baked goods. Gerry got excited because she remembered Doris's cooking from her high school bake sales. She always sold out of everything, even if the other kids could not even sell one cookies. Her old friend was about to grab a particularly delicious looking pink cinnamon bun when Doris swatted her hand. "These are NOT for you, Gerry," she cooed, "They are for those sweet children." As if called by magic, those college kids from the other day rode by again, poised to flash a bit of rear. However, upon seeing the new roadside business, they stopped with hunger in their eyes. They bought almost everything Doris had baked and sped off, eating their new hoard. The old woman just sat on her porch, rocking with a smug look on her face. The next day, the kids did not show. Nor the next day...or the next.

They were not gone, or kidnapped, or even hurt...well not really anyway. The story goes that when they got home that night, they noticed that they were not feeling too well. One girl described it as a dull ache and some terrible noises like organs were being moved around and squished into places they did not fit. She never got physically sick, but she felt like she could not stray too far from the bathroom. The others reported similar results. But not one of them was brave enough to admit that they had been beat by an old lady. She never had to worry about any of those college students again. And her friends noticed that she now had a newer looking cart and even better looking baked goods. By the end of the year, she had made enough money from selling to move into a new house and she found one that was just perfect for her. It had an open porch so big, that she turned it into her new bakery.

She has customers coming in from every inch of Subeta. She makes cookies, cakes, french treats, sweet breads, meat pies, fresh fruit tarts, and anything else you could think of in the world. And just when you think you have seen the best thing ever pop out of her oven, she will always surprise you with a new and inventive creation. Even Calvin Blackmoon has been seen canoodling up to Doris--maybe to try and steal her secrets. But no one that tries is able to match her skills. There were some that got very close. Every time her friends thought that a rival baker was on the verge of discovering her magic, they always abruptly stopped... I wonder why? After all, Doris is just a sweet, old kerubi.



Overlay by hagane and pixel by antler. Story and profile by Destiny.