Despicable has a minion!

cavalier the Snooty Egg Cat

He walked back slowly to his seat of G6. He felt his heated ears pressed against his head as the sweat stuck onto his fur cap. Ah, the burden of being fashionable, he thought. He was nearly back to his seat when he couldn't suppress his curiosity any longer. He quickly looked back only to see the air hostess staring at him. She winked. His face froze in shock as he quickly glanced to see if his wife had noticed. She hadn't. He signalled a warning look to his new friend.

'Later!' he mouthed, 'Later!'

She winked back at him again and disappeared behind the curtains. He sighed deeply to himself in relief. Women. Finally, he took the final few steps to the loving gaze of his wife.

'Where have you been? You told me you were going to the toilet fifteen bloody minutes ago! You chucking a big one?' She cackled.

He ignored her.

'Ugh. Your pimple is shooting out puss again,' he grimaced.

'Well that's none of your business, you sneaky devil,'

In actual fact, it was his business. He prided himself on exuberance, money and elegance; none of which she possessed. He was a splendid looking man, and sometimes he wondered why he was still with her. He ignored her again and, again wondering why, decided to sit down in his seat next to her.

'You seem tired. Why are you tired? You're panting like you've run a bloody marathon. Well there isn't anywhere to run here unless there's a bloody gym in first class. HAVE YOU BEEN SNEAKING OFF TO FIRST CLASS?' She yelled.

'Uhh... no,' he muttered. Technically this was wasn't a lie. More like a half lie. He hadn't been to first class.

'Ready for dinner?' the air hostess asked kindly.

Phew, he thought, saved by the bell... But why was this person's voice familiar?

He glanced up meekly, hoping to avoid his suspicions. Indeed, it was her. She didn't seem a bit flustered; instead, taking the opportune time to wink cheekily at him again.

'OI! WHY YOU WINKIN' AT ME HUSBAND?'

Oh no... No, no no.

'I'll ask you again! Why you hitting on him!?'

'Sorry, ma'am. He's your... husband? I'm so sorry, I thought you were his mother. I wouldn't have invited him to the toilet if I knew. I'm so, so sorry!' The air hostess blabbered.

'WHAT THE *&*%$YOU WHAT? YOU WHAT MY HUSBAND WHUT? YOU #$%&@ I WILL *&#$@#YOU UNTIL YOU @**&@&*ING @*#&*@'

She turned to look at me, her eyes alight. Maybe it was the hydraulics or maybe it was her body shaking to restrain herself from slugging the hostess but I felt her rage resonate to my core.

'How could you?' She fired at me, 'WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? YOU'RE DESPICABLE!'

♪Drink the poison lightly,
‘Cause there are deeper and darker things than you.
I’m not the one, I’m not the one who wants to hurt you.
You’d better find somebody else and get a hold of yourself.♫

Arespicable overlay by ARE
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Plipspicable by Plipkat

Chocospicable by Choco
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Wolfspicable by Werewolfeh

Pearlspicable +2 + 3 by Cupcake
Febspicable by february
Profile by me + graphic resources