Whorl_118 |
Why, hello there. I'm Jay. Well, at least I hope I am. If I'm not someone CLEARLY lied to me. Well, let's just assume I am Jay, and most of those I know wouldn't lie to me about my own na- I mean alias. So, excusing the fact that I'm aleaphilic. I think we can be friends. Or not. Probably not. There are some things we should discuss. So sit down.So when your Mother and I decided we wanted you...Okay, that was fun. Let's move on to MORE serious matters.First off, cats.All cats are creatures from another universe, outside of the purview of our gods. Some might argue that they are gods themselves because of their special powers and secret knowledge, but if so, then they are from a different pantheon because of their strange and unique powers. These include manipulation of gravity, the ability to send rays of light from their eyes at night, and super-sensitive hearing that can recognize the sound of a tuna can being opened from 6 dimensions distant.Okay, let's talk about... dice...Dice are tools crafted by ancient deities! These tools are used to tell probability of things, but only those whom happen to be wise and gifted unlock there true abilities. I happen to own many of this devices practically carved by the hands of the Gods! They have many uses, they can be used to gain large amounts of wealth, create small tornados, and even rip the fabric of time!Now, the importance of naming inanimate objects.Okay, you MUST name the following for the following reasons.Door Mats: Okay, you go to the store, buy a nice door mat, and say "Alright, I'm gonna set you right HERE! Close enough for you to sit here and be directly within the path of the door and the outside realms. And now you can be walked over everyday!" So basically you buy an object and leave it outside, AND it gets walked all over. Give it the respect of the inside objects and at least give it a name...Cars: It's a fictional fact that unnamed cars have a 27.839273 percent higher failure rate. Seriously. Look it up.Computers: If you offend these non-primitive version of dice your life will be Nether. NETHER I TELL YOU NETHER! A NETHER FULL OF LAG, CRASHES, DATA LOSS, AND VIRUSES!!!Oh, but if you appeal to them with, good care, names, and love. Then you'll feel as though you've entered the Aether each time you use one.Cell Phones: I've never named a phone in my life. I've broken 17. Coincidence? I THINK NOT, MORTAL! |
alexchix | Lily7013 |
natasha522 |
Username: ShadowJay11 Name: Jay Gender: Last Seen: Hidden |
Email: jay.shadow11@gmail.comSkype: shadowjay111 |