Information

Pharaoh has a minion!

Ankh the Caphram

Pharaoh

The

Common Experiment #8001
Owner:

LadyFoxling

Age: 13 years, 5 months, 5 days

Born: November 26th, 2010

Adopted: 11 years, 4 months, 2 weeks ago

Adopted: December 12th, 2012

Pet Spotlight Winner
January 29th, 2023

Statistics

Level: 332
Strength: 830
Defense: 830
Speed: 825
Health: 826
HP: 826/826
Intelligence: 284
Books Read: 269
Food Eaten: 14
Job: Certified Mad Scientist

I.II.III.IV.V.

"BEGONE, SCAVENGER!" The mighty dragon roars at you as you enter his blindingly gold chamber.
You wince at the light glinting off every surface, holding up a hand to try and stifle it as your pupils adjust to pin-prick points within your irises. "Ah, sorry, sir--" You begin to reply, but his bellows cut you off as he speaks once again.
"PHARAOH."
"What?" Is all you can get out in response, the word is such a non sequitur to you.
"I AM THE PHARAOH. YOU MAY REFER TO ME AS 'YOUR MAJESTY' IF YOU WISH. AND YOU MAY PERISH, IF YOU DO NOT GIVE ME THE RESPECT I COMMAND."
"Pretty sure that's not an accurate way to speak to a Pharaoh though..." and all the Pharaohs you've ever heard of were long dead...

"SILENCE! SPEAK TO ME WITH SUCH INSOLENCE AGAIN AND YOU WILL PERISH!" Pharaoh bristles, his scales glittering as the gold coins he laid in fall as he rises to glare down upon you. "WHY HAVE YOU COME HERE, SCAVENGER?"
You decide not to address the fact that he just told you to shut up and then proceeded to ask you a question. It seems that he is not the sort to appreciate your wit. "You uh, you stole my plushie."
"YOU DARE ACCUSE ME OF THEFT?"
"It's literally right there." You point at the golden ruffie plushie that was cuddled between his legs before the dragon stood.

"ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOLD, AND ALL THAT IS GOLDEN IS MINE!" Pharaoh roars, and a sweatdrop rolls down the side of your face. You're pretty sure it's not from fear.
"Okay but like, it's not actually gold, though--" You try to explain, but the dragon cuts you off.
"FOOLISH SCAVENGER! YOU WILL NOT TRICK ME WITH YOUR SILVER TONGUE!" The feathers along his cheekbones flare out like the frills of a frilled lizard; if he had wings, it's a sure bet he would be spreading them to intimidate you right now.

"But it's just colored soft fabric! If it were real gold it would be cold and hard and not very cuddle-able." You plead for the dragon to see reason, but he doesn't believe you.
"LIES!" He roars in response.
Now that your eyes have adjusted to the light within the cave, you can't help but notice that though the dragon does indeed have several items of genuine gold, he also has seemingly accumulated... a lot of junk. You're pretty sure you can see a plastic flamingo sticking out of the pile, and--is that a living goldfish in a bag?

Did he really raid some carnival booth for that? Possibly the most ridiculous thing you manage to spot that seems to genuinely be made of gold is a toilet he had to have uprooted from someplace. Whatever the case, all these items shiver with the same golden hue, and you realize with a heavy heart that you're likely never going to get that ruffie plushie back for your collection. You're better off just buying a new one if he's that adamant to keep these things, and you know the rule: you never get between a dragon and its hoard. "You know what? Keep it." You mutter, and he preens with pride at winning over you.
"YOU FINALLY SEEM TO SEE YOUR PLACE. GOOD. THEN BEGONE, SCAVENGER! AND NEVER DARKEN MY DOMECILE AGAIN!"
"Yeah, yeah..." You mutter in annoyance, exiting his cave. How is it actually darker outside than within the cave when it's still midday? A sudden squeak catches your attention; a minion who bears a striking resemblance to Pharaoh looks up at you with a little sack.

"What's this?" You ask, and it replies with a chirrup as you open the bag to find a small amount of jewels. If you sell them, it ought to be enough to cover buying a new ruffie plushie, in the same golden color as the one that dragon stole from you. Maybe even a little more, for your trouble. You scritch the Caphram under the chin and notice a little ankh necklace around its neck. It must belong to the dragon. You smile at it in gratitude. "Thanks, little guy." The Caphram squeaks happily in reply to you before scampering back into its cave. The Pharaoh may be a bit stupid, but it seems he has a smart minion to care for him. You just wonder how much sP the toilet guy got from the little thing...