Information

Salem
Legacy Name: Salem.

The Darkmatter Feli
Owner: PinkPanther

Age: 12 years, 1 month, 1 week

Born: March 12th, 2012

Adopted: 12 years, 1 month, 1 week ago

Adopted: March 12th, 2012

Pet Spotlight Winner
August 26th, 2013

Statistics

• Level: 15
   
• Strength: 36
   
• Defense: 36
   
• Speed: 36
   
• Health: 36
   
• HP: 36/36
   
• Intelligence: 25
   
• Books Read: 25
• Food Eaten: 0
• Job: Minion Feeder

I live in a lovely remote cottage in the middle of a vibrant forest with my pet human whom I call Lene. My pet seems to be under the impression that she is a witch. Poor dear, she’s hopeless. Why I hate to think of the amounts of potions I’ve thrown out while she was sleeping and set right. Or that debacle the other week when trying to cure some teenage humans of acne, she instead turned them into horses. Bless her, she didn’t ever figure out that the horses were really human children, nor did the other hapless villagers who tried to ride the human-horses in search of their young. Fortunately for the humans in this village, I am here for them.

Allow me to introduce myself: I am Salem Azlath Alchemist Extraordinaire. Now, you might not be familiar with alchemy, so please permit me a moment to explain. Alchemists are rather like sorcerers or wizards, if you will. I make potions, do magic and chemistry. I study constantly, reading everything I can get my paws on. I am rather proud of my vast library, which has its own private room in the cellar. I often like to sit in my recliner with a glass of chardonnay in my paw and read the notes of the learned alchemists of old. Sometimes, my human annoys me and forces me to hide under the couch with a book for a moment’s peace. Honestly, I need to buy her a muzzle...she can talk a leg off a chair, but I digress.

I suppose, now is as good as time as any to tell of how I came to get my pet. Those who are versed with the story of the great Merlin and other such alchemists know we all have familiars—that is to say our animal to call and help us with magic. They are our guardians and helpers. I was strolling through the market place one day and spotted this waif buying apples. Granted, she didn’t look like much when I saw her...I mean for one thing she was pink all over and no fur, how weird—apparently, all humans are hairless. She also didn’t walk on all her paws, honestly, why do you think you have them, weirdo... Er, moving on, I had a feeling this unremarkable animal was destined to be my familiar. Now, humans aren’t particularly bright, and need to feel they are doing a good job. So to get my pet, I had to trick the beast into believing she was rescuing me.

As she was walking out of the marketplace, I sat myself beside the road and started mewing pathetically. It amazes me how ridiculous I made myself seem but it was for the greater good as they say. The plan worked perfectly and the silly human believed I was a miserable stray who needed a home and friend. Well, a friend is correct; all pets are friends really—as it is with mine. It took awhile to get her trained and sometimes I still have to work with her on things—like tricking her into giving me tuna instead of that nasty paste food she seems to believe I want to eat. Like I said, they aren’t bright. Mercifully she sleeps at night, so I make myself proper food while the pet sleeps. However, she did introduce the collar of shame to me once. I pulled some of my fur out to place in the potion I was working on and the next thing I know, I have this plastic collar around my neck. I couldn’t take the stupid thing off and felt utterly ridiculous. I don’t know if I was being turned into an ice cream cone or what, but I burned it when she did remove it.

After Lene and I bonded, I began to work more on my alchemy now that I could trust her not to tear up the house when I was gone. Unfortunately, she saw some of the books and thought she had talent. She decided to offer her “services” to the local villagers for their magical needs. Naturally, I am now spending so much of my time repairing what she does that I am exhausted much of the time. But I guess she is making me a better alchemist in the end, which was the point of my pet. I do love the silly thing. I keep trying to give her shoulder massages by climbing on her and working my claws into her skin to show how much I do care. I can’t tell if she enjoys it or not. I also drop her presents of dead animals at her feet when she’s good. All humans like getting these treats to eat...don’t ask me why. It’s an unlikely pairing at times, but overall I am very happy with my pet and carrier and how many cats can say that?

Story by Raven. Profile and coding by sonata. Cottage image from deviantArt. Background pattern from colourlovers.

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