Information

Thing has a minion!

You gotta be kiddin' me the Thingy

Thing
Legacy Name: Thing

The

Riftborn Kumos
Owner:

heARSE

Age: 9 years, 9 months, 3 weeks

Born: July 3rd, 2014

Adopted: 6 years, 9 months, 3 weeks ago

Adopted: June 29th, 2017

Statistics

Level: 436
Strength: 1,091
Defense: 1,101
Speed: 1,087
Health: 1,090
HP: 1,087/1,090
Intelligence: 362
Books Read: 360
Food Eaten: 0
Job: Demon Hunter

The Thing, The Musical
(Video here)

It's cold outside, I've been running for miles,
Helicopter trailin' behind.
Hey, it's a camp, think I'll stay for a while...
Won'tcha help a doggie out of a bind?

There's nothing to see here, I'm only a husky,
Your average adorable rover.
But once I convince you it's okay to trust me,
Your civilization is over!

I can't wait to see their faces when I spring (yes, sir)
'Cause they think that I'm a dog, but I'm The Thing!

(I'm The Thing baby.)

Can you tell that I'm not from around here?
Did you know that Things are worse than you feared?
'Cause I've been to a million planets
and I can copy you right down to your beard.

You can check on your ancient computer.
It's astonishing how quickly I spread.
You can pick up an axe and go crazy,
But I can grow legs from my head.

So, I might be MacReady
Or maybe I'm Doc.
Blair's been acting awf'lly suspicious.
That Gary's a liar
Be sure to watch Clark,
and Windows, well he's just delicious!

So perform your little test.
Hey you found me, I'm impressed!
Hate to interrupt your endless bickering.
Big surprise, guys, I'm not Palmer, I'm The Thing!

Oh, ya really gotta love paranoia.,
More than half of you believe that I'm Mac.
Once you make up your mind you can blow me up
Or you can burn me, I'll keep coming back!

I could be anyone, so watch those hands doc, ouch!
You'll either end up dead, or tied to this fucking couch!

Da da-bah dah dah (etc.)

We're well past the point of silly denials,
So am I MacReady or could I be Childs? (Which one am I baby?)
These poor bastards in the snow,
They were clueless, now they know.
It's a special brand of nightmare that I bring.
Yes, they thought I was a dog, but I'm... The... Thing!