Information

Absent has a minion!

Minion the Sir Skittleton

Absent
Legacy Name: Absent

The

Spectrum Yaherra
Owner: Bright_Shadow

Age: 11 years, 3 weeks, 1 day

Born: February 24th, 2015

Adopted: 7 years, 7 months, 1 week ago

Adopted: August 6th, 2018

Statistics

Level: 13
Strength: 22
Defense: 13
Speed: 14
Health: 13
HP: 13/13
Intelligence: 35
Books Read: 35
Food Eaten: 0
Job: Private Shopper

Are you really here? Sometimes you feel yourself floating, buoyed by feelings of disbelief. Disembodied, but not yet a puppet on strings.

Somehow other people just live. Yet you do not feel the same feelings that others do. You are not a synesthete but you wonder if peoples' emotional canvases are covered in wide, bold streaks. Emotion is the wind behind their sails, impelling them to bursts of sometimes unreasonable activity.

But where are your colors, where is the wind behind your sails? You do not feel like you truly live. You tell yourself to love things, the non-human things. But you don't. Not truly.

The things that come so easily to others, the passion, the love, the je ne sais quoi, the whatever-makes-them-vivid, just never came to you. The raindrop on roses never made you feel a thing.

What you have been through is loss. Powerlessness. But others, despite their losses, bounce right back into happiness. You bounced right back into indifference. Into being fine. Into what you suspect is a surprising lack of worldly attachments for a non-buddhist.

You are not very happy, and yet if this is to be your lot in life, it is not so bad. A decade ago, things weren't this rosy (and let's not even bother bringing up the even more distant miseries). But you are fine now, and maybe you will continue to be fine as the world burns.