Smoldering
Legacy Name: Smoldering

My brother and I were born in a little cave in the Capitan Mountains of New Mexico. Our mother cared for us and said that my brother was born first so I should listen to him. Two minutes does not make a huge difference! He ended up thinking he could always tell me what to do because he was smarter. He isn't. When we were young I could always best him at wrestling. Then he would cry to mama who told me such things were not for a female to do unless her cubs are in danger. They said they were protecting me. But none of them listened to what I wanted. Never let me be free to explore and see things. It was always ok for HIM to go off exploring, because he was a boy. Boys can look after themselves, she said. Mama always kept me home, to keep me safe.

I didn't want safe. I wanted to be free.

I wanted to see the world, all the big trees and mountains and animals. I was so bored I almost went out of my mind. I think I did, for a while. When your life is shrunken down to one cave all the time, and you only see the outside briefly to eat what brother brought home, then hibernation come winter time, your sense of reality changes. This is your life, this tiny little space. But you always see glimpses of another life. Through the trees, and through stories your brother tells after his daily hunt. He even has friends! I always wanted a friend.

He has no clue how much I want to go out there. He laughs when I say so. The whole family including mama and papa tell me that a girl needs to stay in the cave until she gets a family of her own. I have been taught only how to care for others. To always put them first. But when can I come first? When is it my turn?

I stopped asking about going out. Late one night when others slept, I had ventured out, into the dark woods, and looked up at the stars. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen! I don't know how long I stood there, but suddenly papa had his teeth in the back of my neck, tossing me back in the cave and roaring to wake the others. It turned into a nightmare! I was crying, lying in the dirt, pleading with papa. He was so angry. The females are not allowed out without a strict escort. Even mama looked at me like I was a stranger. My brother looked at me like I was crazy.

I had broken the biggest rule. It didn't matter how much I pleaded, papa was determined to see me properly punished for my crime. I was forbidden to come to the front cave. No more was I allowed to even see my lovely trees through the cave mouth! Not even to have a hint of the stars! It was the one thing I could not live with. I seethed with anger at the injustice of it all. My entire life I was below everyone because I was the youngest female. They said it was to protect us, but I saw through their lies. It was to control me. To stop me from going out and seeing the world. Having the freedom that is my birthright!

From then on I could see things so much clearer. They would say it was to help me, but why then did I only get a meal after all the others had eaten? Some nights there was not enough for me. I was hidden in the back caves. I could not even catch insects at the mouth of the cave any more, or play in sunlight. My brother became a warrior. The older bears of the clan said he was the bravest they had ever known.

I think there in the dark, always alone unless mama came to talk to me about my 'place' in life. To tell me this was for my benefit. Not even papa visited any more. I hated the dark. One night I was so frustrated, I screamed at the unfairness of it all. All the emotion came boiling out, bright, like I could SEE it from my breath. It landed on my bedding and suddenly there was fire! Not a lot, and I panicked and stomped it out quick with my feet. After a few minutes, I wondered how it happened, and tried it again. Over a very long time, I figured my emotions could be focused to cause the fire. I worked on my ability, also working on building my strength, but it was hard in an old dark cave. I knew I had to get out.

I waited until the darkest part of the night, when it was coming to the end of autumn. I knew if I could stay hidden from the family until winter and hibernation, I would be truly free. I moved carefully and quietly. My older brother Hazo was asleep on lookout duty. It wasn't uncommon.

Once I was out, I didn't take time to look at the stars. I took deep breaths of the fresh air and moved carefully and quietly towards freedom. Once I was far enough away I ran. I was so out of breath! But I started crying and laughing, and stumbling. Until I landed in an exhausted heap in a shallow dark hole to regain some energy.

I kept moving for days, always nervous my family would find me. I found berries, insects, plants I could eat, and a little creek I followed down the mountain. I wasn't as lonely as I expected, as I'd been left alone a lot in the cave, and out here there were birds and little animals who were fairly friendly when they saw I wasn't going to eat them. After a week or two I even started to relax.

I found a little cave I could call my own, many miles from my family. I dragged in some bedding to make it comfy, right on the soft sand. It kept me safe from any rain or cold wind. I loved my new life and animal friends. Occasionally little sparks would fly off my fur and startle them, but usually they were harmless.

The days grew colder, preparing for winter, and I tried to eat more to prepare for the hibernation. It meant I wandered a bit further to gain the weight I needed. I even found some fish in a new stream!

So I was completely unprepared to be suddenly attacked one day! Another bear came out of the brush and leapt on my back. I couldn't see them but heard the growls. Then they spoke angrily."I found you! Finally! You will come back with me!" he shouted, and I realised it was my brother! My twin who had hunted me down. He backed off a little, panting. I swung to look at him, disbelief in my eyes.

"Brother," I said, "Why are you here? I left, I rebelled, the family should no longer want me."

He looked at me as if I was stupid. "You're nuts, little sister," he stated, "you need to come back and take your punishment..."

At those words, I saw red. Literally, my eyesight changed. The thought of being put back in that cave, or worse, brought out the most enormous emotions inside me.

"You. Will. NOT take me back there!" I yelled, with spittles of tiny flames, which clearly startled my twin. "I am FREE! Why can't you just leave me alone‽ Just forget I existed!"

My twin looked confused, "But you have to come back. It's the way it's supposed to be."

"I will no longer live like that!" I screamed, my anger stoking higher, "I am a hunter too! I deserve the right to live!"

"But you're a girl..." he started, and I exploded. Almost literally. Flames shot out of my fur in all directions, and he yelped and backed away quickly.

"I will not go back" I panted, my eyes glowing with the flames that were catching the trees and dry brush alight. Walking towards my brother and he retreated nervously.

"But," he stuttered, " you HAVE to..." and then he turned and ran for his life when I screamed and the fire became that much brighter and hotter and the entire area went up in flames. I ran after him, spreading the flames, until, without even realising it, the forest had a massive inferno to survive. I wanted him to acknowledge that I was allowed to just exist by myself, to see I was strong. I was blind and deaf to the sounds and sights of the conflagration around me as I ran after him.

I slowly calmed down as I ran, and realised he'd never understand. The flames died off somewhat from my fur and I saw that the fire around me was not dying down. It did not affect me, but I realised it certainly affected my new friends, so I ran back to see if they were safe. But the fire was too intense, and had spread with the late autumn winds. It was in every direction, so I went back to my cave and waited it out. It blazed for days. I could not comprehend what I had done. The guilt ate at me.

After the fire died, the forest was like a dead ash memory. It took weeks for some green growth to return, and after that the birds, insects, and finally animals returned. I wondered if my brother, or even my family, had survived.

Years later, it was green again and I lived a comfy life. I heard some coming up the mountain and cautiously, hiding well, took a look at them. I would have recognised my brother anywhere! He led them up, and was wearing an odd hat. I heard him talking about protecting the forest from future wildfires. He sounded passionate, and motivated. I realised he was a humbler version, but so driven. It was a good thing he was doing, and I moved away without letting him know I had seen him.

I was finally proud of my twin. He had a purpose in life, to stop wildfires. I knew he'd do well. My little brother Smokey was where he needed to be.

Profile template by Lea.
Edit/Story by: Dracona.
Info from: Here & Here
Background Image: wallpapersafari.com