Information
Howard the Ducker
Tivan
Legacy Name: Tivan
The
Glacier DevontiOwner:
BalloonAge: 8 years, 1 month, 1 week
Born: March 12th, 2016
Adopted: 8 years, 1 month, 1 week ago
Adopted: March 12th, 2016
Pet Spotlight Winner
March 3rd, 2019
Statistics
- Level: 48
- Strength: 117
- Defense: 116
- Speed: 117
- Health: 116
- HP: 116/116
- Intelligence: 176
- Books Read: 167
- Food Eaten: 0
- Job: Ardent Art Archivist
profile and story by Balloon • background photo from Guardians of the Galaxy
Ardent Art Archivist at Delphi Museum of Modern Art
Hey. . . Whitey!
What, Howard.
Looks like you got some customers. You want I should show them around? Granted, the only tour worth taking of this place is over to the liquor cabinet--
Oh! My apologies, I didn't see you there. You'll have to excuse me, I am. . . between assistants right now. What about the, heh, "gentleman" with the beak, you ask? Oh no, you misunderstand. His name is Howard the Duck, and he is not my assistant. In fact--
Darn right, I ain't your assistant! Why, you couldn't pay me enough units to work with you if you sold off every last item in this dump.
In fact, he is a former exhibit who escaped during an unfortunate, ah, incident which caused the loss of much of my collection (and, inconveniently enough, my last assistant). Believe me, Howard is a temporary guest. One who will soon be leaving if he does not wish to become an exhibit once more. I already have one Bottled Duckie, but I am not averse to collecting a second.
Okay, okay, I'm goin', I'm goin'. Geez.
Now that we have some privacy-- and some peace and quiet-- let me apologize once more and begin again. Allow me to introduce myself: I am Taneleer Tivan, the Collector. Here in my gallery at Knowhere (didn't I come up with just the cleverest name?), we house all manner of fauna, uh. . . how did that introduction go? I haven't given it myself in so long that I've quite forgotten it. Anyhow, never mind. You can see for yourself how many specimens and other items I have collected here, despite my recent losses.
You see, I am one of the Elders of the Universe. A common creature like yourself couldn't be expected to understand, but suffice it to say that I am among the oldest beings in the universe due to being. . . blessed, one might say, with near immortality. What's that? Yes, it does get rather boring. Certain other immortal beings-- although I shan't name any names-- have alleviated their boredom in rather unsavory ways, but I have no desire to do something so foolish as try to take over the universe. Honestly, who would want such a responsibility? If I ruled the universe, I would have to hire lots of people to run all the mundane little bureaucratic bits, and even then, the whole affair would still be far more trouble that it's worth. No, I'm quite content with Knowhere and my simple little storage planet.
. . . What? The planet? Oh. Well, it's called Collecton-- I admit, not nearly so clever a name as Knowhere-- and it houses the bulk of my collection: all of my cryogenically frozen specimens, the servers running my digital library, that sort of thing. I suppose you could refer to it as an archive, while I keep only my best items here in my gallery. Or. . . kept, I suppose. Before the. . . incident.
Now, you've gotten me all off track. What was I saying? Oh yes, I was talking about the boredom of immortality. So, as I said, I have no interest in ruling in the universe, but I did need to do something with my time, and I decided that "something" should be beneficial. I have always been fascinated with the sheer variety found throughout our universe, the diversity not only of living organisms, but also of the cultures they create. Therefore, I vowed to collect and preserve samples, of everything.
. . . What do I mean by "everything"? Exactly what I said, my quaint new friend. Everything. That includes at least one example of every species of life in this universe, along with all of each culture's writings, their music, their folk and oral histories, their artifacts. . . like I said, everything. Oh, of course I'm hardly finished yet, and there are cultures dying out all the time, but that is the fun of it, is it not? The race against time, the search for remnants of those lives which ended long ago, the thrill of acquisition: this is what gives me purpose.
And my collection is certainly not, as some may claim, a testament to my vanity or (I can hardly even bring myself to say it!) my "greed." As if I collected all this for myself alone! No, the role of the Collector is to preserve all that he can of the universe against the inevitable doom that will eventually befall it. I do not kid myself that just because I do not wish to rule it, no one else does either. Many have tried before, many will try again. . . and it is certain that at some point, the destruction of life as we know it will be the result.
When that happens, when only I and a handful of beings like my fellow Elders are all that remains, we will have a record of what was lost. We will even, if we choose, be able to regenerate life from my vast collection of specimens, either through cloning of their genetic code or, er. . . the "old-fashioned" way. Ahem. Anyhow! So now you surely see that I am not arrogant in the least, merely concerned in preserving all that I can for our future.
Now, that's quite enough chit-chat. I know you must find me terribly interesting, but I do have other business to which I must attend. Therefore, I will leave you to peruse my collection at your leisure, though do remember that you're hardly seeing it at its most complete. I hope you'll return in the future once I've had a chance to acquire more items to replace what has been lost.
The first few aisles are a bit frivolous (except for those containing my wardrobe, of course), just some mementos of recent events and acquaintances. But beyond that, you'll find an assortment of maps (the old-fashioned kind, back when they were still printed, can you imagine the tedium of using one?), followed by various terrariums of some of the more interesting flora I've come across.
The next several aisles contain flasks, bottles, and jars full of specimens. Some are living creatures, some are inanimate objects, and some. . . frankly, I'm just not sure. (Bottled Happiness? Really? How trite. I suspect someone just jammed one of those obnoxiously gauche smiley face buttons into a bottle, but at least it was cheap.) After the bottled specimens, we have the framed ones, the aquarium fish, and some sort of lizard that had the audacity to attempt to steal from me. And finally, the last aisle holds my collection of items about collecting. Quite the clever little way to end the tour, don't you think?
What? I beg your pardon! Howard must have sneaked The Joys of Bra Collecting in there, for it certainly isn't mine. Hmph.
Anyhow, I really must be about my business. Take your time, and don't touch anything. If you have any questions, on your way out you may speak to my assist-- ugh. Never mind.
. . . Hmmm.
By any chance, you wouldn't happen to be looking for an employment opportunity, would you?
Pet Treasure
Elder
Runaway Eyeliner
Sui Spooley
High-End Eyebrow Brush
Lililace GoldenRags Volumizing Hair Mousse
Snowfall Shawl
Bleached Rabbit Fur Cuff
Faux Froby Stole
Giselle Thrift Rat Ruff of Wonders
Butterfly Bandages
Tension Bandage (Face)
Makeshift Bandage
Gimlet
Cocktail Shaker
Making the Perfect Cocktail
Getting Drunk With Style
I Dont Always Drink Sticker
You Missed a Spot Sticker
Time to Shine
Frame Polishing Kit
Iconic Comic Book
Space Prince Rag Doll
Tree Guardian Rag Doll
Ikuut
Raccoon Cuddle Buddy
Little Laika Doll
Sibling Sticker
Sibling Diary
Hydrus Cube
Electro Cube Beanbag
Cube Blub
Precious Gems of Discord
Rainbow Gems
Colorful Gemstone
Stone of Elements
Galaxy Orb
Inverted Galaxy Orb
Mystical Orb of the Gods
Magical Mystical Orb
Aurora Galaxy Crystal
Subeta Globe
Atebus Globe
Model of the Solar System
Heavy Magnifying Glass
Old Magnifier
Pocket Magnifier
Subeta Map
Atebus Map
Darkside Map
Sacred Lands Map
Star Chart
Cartographer Tool Kit
Treasure Map Guide
Handy Atlas
Sea Charts
Dusty Old Map
Dystopian Lands Map
Bundle of Old Maps
Pirate Treasure Map
Riverside Pirate Maps
Desert Pirate Map
Arctic Pirate Map
Spirited Pirate Map
Island Pirate Map
Dangerous Pirate Map
Space Pirate Map
Salty Chart Pieces
Hazard Map
Worn Betapark Map
Hand Drawn Map
Hiking Map
Map to a Hidden Cove
Forgotten Treasure Maps
Treasure Map Piece 1
Treasure Map Piece 2
Treasure Map Piece 3
Treasure Map Piece 4
Treasure Map Piece 5
Treasure Map Piece 6
Treasure Map Piece 7
Treasure Map Piece 8
Treasure Map Piece 9
Uncharted Land Map Piece 1
Uncharted Land Map Piece 2
Uncharted Land Map Piece 3
Uncharted Land Map Piece 4
Uncharted Land Map Piece 5
Uncharted Land Map Piece 6
Uncharted Land Map Piece 7
Uncharted Land Map Piece 8
Uncharted Land Map Piece 9
Box of Space Dust
Domed Reliquary
Squat Reliquary
Vase Reliquary
Box Reliquary
Dragon Of The Sky Perfume
Saheric Spirit Perfume
Sacred Jewel Perfume
Rainbow Essence
Miniature Rainbow Essence
Dillema Corrupted Soul
Enchanted Forest Terrarium
Pitcher Plant Terrarium
Oddly Shaped Terrarium
Old Jar Terrarium
Discarded Coffee Pot Terrarium
Used Bulb Terrarium
Glass Bottle Terrarium
Beachside Terrarium
Deserted Island Terrarium
Love Plant Potion
Sunken Ship Terrarium
Kraken Terrarium
Delphi Specimen Jar Mask
Preserved Riverside Flower Mask
Enchanted Rose
Enchanted Flower Vase
Rift Queen Hydroponic Seedling
Bottled Wind
Bottled Hatred
Captured Flame
Bottled Darkmatter Aura
Small Bottle of Liquid Shadow
Flask of Liquid Shadow
Red Celestial Flask
Yellow Celestial Flask
Green Celestial Flask
Blue Celestial Flask
Purple Celestial Flask
Nest Of Spiders Wet Specimen
Clawed Monster Wet Specimen
Mouthy Monster Wet Specimen
Ink Monster Wet Specimen
Bloody Wet Specimen
Captured Blood Droplet
Captured Mold Spore
Captured Rot Particles
Captured Grave Dust
Captured Bone Fragment
Bubbling Mildew
Bubbling Venom
Bubbling Bonedust
Preserved Skull in a Jar
Medicinal Leeches
Jar of Captured Snowflakes
Sparkling Winter Dust
Captured Bubbles
Left Arm Mutagen
Right Arm Mutagen
Contained Virus
Portable Test Tube
Elixir of Love
Fake Bloodred Potion
Bottled Lightning
Bottled Fire
Phoenix Ashes
Bottled Ice
Jack Frosts Bottled Breath
Crocodile Tears
Quicksilver
Empty Vial
Gourd Witch Empty Potion Bottles
Bottled Bunny Pixi
Bottled Charlie
Bottled Duckie
Bottled Fake Gold
Bottled Voodoo Doll
Bottled Skele-Bits
Bottled Mummy
Bottled Cream Quill
Ship in a Bottle
Dinghy in a Bottle
Book in a Bottle
Pickled Pie
Promotional Captured Dark Matter Companion
Captured Wisp
Captured Baby Lightning Sylph
Helpless Bottled Hipottu
Bottled Harvest Moon
Bottled Night
Bottled Day
Bottled Montre Head
Bottled Bird Head
Root Forest Sample
Ghost Ship Terrarium
Enchanted Bottle of Forest
Enchanted Bottle of Sea
Gold Dust
Ruffie Bottled Breath
Bottled School Girl Shriek
Bottled Vacuum
Bottled Spaceship
Bottled Quark
Bottled Moon Sand
Bottled Star
Bottled Moon
Bottled Alien
Captured Pixie
Bottled Moon Rock
Bottled Happiness
Empty Corked Glass Bottle
Bottled Sunset Sand
Darkside Sand Vial
Delphi Sand Vial
Veta Sand Vial
Arctic Frost Sand Vial
Sacred Lands Sand Vial
Blue Vial of Sand
Purple Vial of Sand
Pink Vial of Sand
White Vial of Sand
Ocean Grit
Bottle of Sand
Bottle of Saheric Sand
Bottled Dark Matter
Bottled Love Matter
Red Bottled Fire Spirit
Yellow Bottled Fire Spirit
Blue Bottled Fire Spirit
Purple Bottled Fire Spirit
Pink Bottled Fire Spirit
Pickled Whole Brain
Thing in a Jar
Gathered Goblin Eyes
Ruffie Flea Infestation
Jar Of Annoying Flies
Fireflies in a Jar
Glowy Green Bug Lantern
Pink Bottled Butterfly
Orange Bottled Butterfly
Yellow Bottled Butterfly
Green Bottled Butterfly
Entranced Red Snow Fairy
Entranced Yellow Snow Fairy
Entranced Green Snow Fairy
Entranced Bluegreen Snow Fairy
Entranced Snow Fairy
Entranced Violet Snow Fairy
Entranced White Snow Fairy
Entranced Pink Snow Fairy
Decorative Birdcage
Framed Ladybug Specimen
Framed Honeybee Specimen
Framed Grasshopper Specimen
Framed Orchid Mantis Specimen
Framed Praying Mantis Specimen
Framed Dragonfly Specimen
Captured Lizard Minion
Empty Aquarium
Aquarium Swordtail Fish
Aquarium Goldfish
Aquarium Guppy
Aquarium Betta
Aquarium Pufferfish
Old Box of Ornaments
Box of Childhood Memories
Little Collector
Likes To Collect Statement Tee
The Connoisseur Magazine
Galleries 101
Rotten Rogues Guide to Antiques
All About Coins
Collecting Seashells for Beginners
Advanced Seashell Collecting
Collecting Cards
Guide to Toy Collecting
The Joys of Bra Collecting
Book of Stuff
Guide to Bluffing
Toy Collector Trading Card
Minion Collector Trading Card