Information

Minnesota has a minion!

Winter Never Ends Here the Chilly Tree

Minnesota
Legacy Name: Minnesotan

The

Glacier Blob
Owner: Pureflower

Age: 9 years, 8 months, 3 weeks

Born: June 23rd, 2016

Adopted: 9 years, 8 months, 3 weeks ago

Adopted: June 23rd, 2016

Nominate Pet for Spotlight

Statistics

Level: 78
Strength: 168
Defense: 10
Speed: 10
Health: 10
HP: 10/10
Intelligence: 170
Books Read: 141
Food Eaten: 1
Job: Topiary Tender

Minnesotan is...

being able to make a casserole out of anything (literally anything) in your kitchen.

All you need is some meat (or a vegan alternative), pasta (fun shapes encouraged), veggies (the more colors the better) and a sauce of some kind (let your imagination run wild).

Casserole isn't just for supper, either. Try a breakfast scramble with eggs, cheese, bacon, sausage and cubed potatoes.

Or indulge a sweet tooth. Toss some marshmallows, chocolate chunks and caramel drizzle in with crushed graham crackers. Jumble cinnamon sugar pie crust triangles with caramelized apples.

It's perfectly acceptable to eat casserole for breakfast, lunch, and supper in the North Star State.

Just please keep in mind that cheese is for eating and not for wearing.

Minnesotan is...

listening to "Purple Rain" while driving in your little red corvette on your way to party like it's 1999.

If you don't get these references, a whole lot of doves are crying right now. If you do, feel free to go a little crazy (and even get nuts!)

Minnesotan is...

shoveling a foot of snow to get to the end of your driveway, shoveling the same amount to get back to the house, throwing your frozen hands in the air and giving it up in favor of a cup of cocoa with little marshmallows.

It strikes when you least expect it. Halloween night. Hours before that winter concert you've waited months to see. The 31st of May.

There's no rhyme or reason. White monsters pelt the ground with all the fury of tiny Vikings determined to earn their place in Valhalla.

These quick-striking invaders are beautiful but deadly. They don't care if you have a bad back or arms full of grocery bags. They're here to make roads impassable and cause several incidents of uncomfortable wet socks per hour.

Okay...they do make the trees pretty. Until said trees dump several inches of snow directly on your head.

Don't let their quaint charm fool you. Every snowflake is a criminal mastermind intent on (literally) bringing all land-based creatures to their knees.

Do yourself, your pet and your car a favor. Treat these frosty fiends with the respect they deserve.

Minnesotan is...

spending each summer weekend at a different lake and secretly vowing to visit them all. (The license plate really should read The Land of Way More than 10,000 Lakes.)

There's nothing quite like spending a mild summer night at the side of a lake, listening to the distant crickets and enjoying the smoky tang of BBQ.

There are lakes for swimming, lakes for boating and lakes where the fishing is fine.

Just make sure your critical survival kit includes

❄️Sunscreen (SPF 50)
❄️Mosquito Repellant (one gallon jug recommended)
❄️Sweater (if you're heading up North - Duluth area can still drop to 40 degrees in June)
❄️Cooler filled with ice and frozen treats, plus drinks of choice
❄️Headphones with music device and extra batteries (for when your great-aunt wants to detail her latest medical procedure. Though my Iowan husband reassures me this is a family tradition in all Midwestern states.)

Minnesotan is...

teaching people from other states the correct pronunciation for the person married to an uncle.

Say it with me. Ont. On-tuh. Your uncle is (most likely) not married to an insect capable of great feats of physical strength.

Though if he is...well...who am I to get in the way of true love?

Minnesotan is...

harboring a secret loathing for all orange objects that are on, near, or above the road. You may just develop a habit of getting out of your car and hugging every "End of Road Work" sign you chance to pass.

You thought you were going to make it to your favorite lake in a reasonable amount of time?

Ha ha...excuse me for a minute, won't you?

(In the distance, you hear the sound of loud, uncontrollable laughter. This goes on for several minutes. You begin to secretly wonder if your friend from Minnesota is okay.)

Alright...I'm back. Sorry about that. It's just...you actually thought you could avoid road construction around here?

Ha...ha ha ha...oh wow...moving on.

Minnesotan is...

smiling at people you'd rather shove into a snowbank because Minnesota Nice really is a thing.

I've had friends tell tales of travel to other States. They got funny sideways looks when thanking a cashier. Apparently, there are places where these words are used for select purposes only.

An impolite Minnesotan, like a unicorn, is a rarity.

We have a baffling tradition known as the "Minnesota Goodbye". You say goodbye to your host. The two of you talk for another hour. You proceed to the front door, pause, and chat for another half-hour. You make it onto the front porch where you're obliged to tell one more quick story that just popped into your head. You must say at least three versions of "goodbye" between opening your car door, getting in, and closing the door. You wouldn't want your host to be offended if you fail to convince them sufficiently how much you regret leaving their presence.

Minnesotan is...

discovering 500 ways not to walk on ice and feeling like a champion when you discover the one way that works.

I personally find widening my toes and waddling in a duck-like manner to be mostly effective. You'll develop your own method (and a tailbone hard as diamond).

Minnesotan is...

going out at 40 degrees in your summer clothes and laughing at your out-of-state friends for bundling up in their deep winter gear.

If I can't see my breath, I don't need a dead-of-winter jacket. I'm not opposed to a cute pair of boots but Clomper-Stompers a/k/a "winter boots" are reserved for post-blizzard wear only.

I am Minnesotan and I like it cold!

❄️Profile coding by Bug
❄️Story by Pureflower
❄️Background image of Duluth Bridge taken by Pureflower
❄️Fonts from Google Fonts
❄️Song title references belong to Prince. (A Minnesota native. =D)