Princess Bride has a minion!

Wesley and Buttercup the Lovely Couple

Five years after the storming of the castle and the ‘mawwiage’ of Princess Buttercup to Wesley (The Late Dread Pirate Roberts). Inigo leaned against the bow of the large wooden ship, staring off into the sunset. They hadn’t seen any other ships in weeks now, let alone any treasure. The doldrum of action was causing discontent to spread amongst his crew.

Inigo had been the Dread Pirate Roberts for years now, ever since he and Wesley had picked up a new crew at the docks of Havana. Wesley had sailed with Inigo for a few months as Second Mate as to teach him the pirate ways, as well as spread the rumor that Indigo was in fact Dread Pirate Roberts. After that time, he had then left with Buttercup on learning of Humperdinck searching for their ship.

Prince Humperdinck and his forces had been chasing after Wesley and Buttercup ever since that fateful night at the castle. Thankfully, the horses Fezzik had brought that night had been fleet of hoof, and they had escaped back into the fire swamp unhindered. Entering the fire swamp was not exactly escaping to safety however. Between the flame spurts and the lightning sand the party was certainly kept on their toes. Fortunately, the Rodents of Unusual Size had grown wary of Wesley after their last encounter with him and avoided the party entirely. They continued to Havana where Wesley had spotted the pirate ship ‘Revenge’ still waiting for his return.

Inigo had been focused on avenging his father for so long that now that the killer was dead he felt as though his life lacked a purpose. When Wesley offered to have him take over as the Dread Pirate Roberts he couldn’t pass up the opportunity. With the new crew they all sailed away, Fezzik staying with Inigo as first mate. The two of them had become very good friends in their recent adventures, and certainly without Fezzik’s help Inigo would never have found his father or been able to avenge his life. Together they taught the crew many new rhymes and songs; especially about peanuts.

Once on board the ship, Wesley had taken Inigo down to the captain’s quarters and showed him one of his most important finds as Roberts. On the shelf was a rolled up hide with some crude ink markings on it. Wesley told Inigo that the markings were a map to a buried treasure somewhere. Throughout his time as Roberts, Wesley had tried to discover the meaning of the markings but hadn’t had any success. Over the next few years of his life, Inigo had spent every waking minute thinking about that map and studying it, looking for any clues he could find. At long last he had found a man in Patagonia who had helped them decipher the first set of markings. That good fortune had taken place a few weeks ago.

At that moment a yell pierced through Inigo’s thoughts, snapping him back to his current predicament. He heard the cry from the crow’s nest, “Land ho!” In moments the deck was a flurry of activity. The crew got to their stations and prepared the small landing craft to head to the island in the distance. This had been exactly what they had been waiting for weeks to hear.

Fezzik and Inigo along with two other men climbed into the first landing vessel and headed towards the shore. Another group of crewmembers got into a second boat behind them and followed them in.

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When Wesley and Buttercup had left the pirate ship Revenge they had gone to a small remote island in the South Caribbean. There they had acquired a large plot of land and Wesley had built a small farmhouse for the two of them. They had a nice garden and plenty of horses for Buttercup to go on her rides. Of course, this time she had Wesley to ride with and protect her. As they rode throughout the country, she couldn’t help but think back to the times long ago with the farm boy.

Just as Buttercup was settling into their new country life, everything changed. Buttercup discovered that she and Wesley were going to have a child. As wonderful as the news was, the rest of the year was a blur of excitement and preparation. In the early spring the baby was born; a healthy little girl. They decided to name her Waverly. As Waverly grew she started to look more and more like her mother, yet have the adventurous spirit of her father. She learned to crawl, then talk, and then walk. Their family was as happy and carefree as could be.

One morning Wesley kissed his wife and daughter goodbye and headed to the market in town. Hauling a usual bag of produce, Wesley sold some of their fruits and vegetables to local vendors, then heading to the local tavern for a bite to eat. As he was leaving the tavern after a filling meal, he heard the scuffle of boots rushing up behind him. A sharp hit to the back of his head caused stars to burst in front of his eyes before everything went black.

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Inigo’s crew landed their boats on the sandy beach of the island and began setting up camp on the edge of the woods. Inigo spread the map out on the ground and went over the markings again, even though he had it practically memorized by this point. First, through the woods on the mountainside there would be a cave. This cave led through the mountain and emerged in a protected area, completely cut off from the outside of the island. Somewhere in that open area there was an outcropping of rocks that Inigo now knew was the marker for the treasure’s location.

Inigo grabbed Fezzik and his two most trusted crew members and began their trek towards the mountain. Inigo took the lead, lighting their way with a torch through the overhanging trees. They reached the base of the mountain by nightfall and decided to set up camp and continue in the morning.

The next morning the men began their search for the cave through the mountain. In the late afternoon Fezzik spotted the signature hole in the cliff face and the group began their ascent. They hiked their way through the tunnel and emerged into a large grassy clearing. Inigo showed the men what they were looking for and they spread out looking. After hours of searching Inigo found his markings; a pile of rocks arranged in a circle. The men began to dig excitedly.

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Wesley woke up in a dark room chained at the hands and feet to the floor and wall. He groaned and tried to get up but had no strength. He lay on the floor feeling his chains and wondered how long he had been there. This dungeon had a similar feeling to a certain pit of unpleasantness.

Apparently there was a guard outside the door, the individual hearing the noise and coming to investigate. Wesley heard footsteps approaching, and then the guard peered in the door. The man chuckled softly and muttered something as he walked away. Wesley stared around the room trying to come up with a plan but had nothing to work with (not even a wheelbarrow!) The cell was as dark, damp, and barren as any other prison room.

Out in the hall he heard a loud commotion, and another person stormed into the room. There in front of him stood the last person Wesley wanted to see; Prince Humperdinck. Wesley could see a smirk on Humperdinck’s face as he approached. “Look at you now.” Humperdinck said. “I’ve been tracking you for years, and finally I caught you.”

“What do you want from me?” Wesley asked.

“You know exactly what I want from you.” Humperdinck said. “Your life. You humiliated me and stole my bride. I don’t know how you survived The Machine but I don’t intend to repeat that mistake. This time you will die.” He turned around and stormed back out of the room.“Another challenge To The Pain? I accept!” Wesley called out at the retreating figure. A slight shudder ran through the disgraced prince’s frame before vanishing from view.

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Treasure! Inigo couldn’t believe his eyes. Before him lay a large chest filled to the brim with gems, gold, and silver. Inigo ran his hands through the contents of the chest as he stared in awe. After some time, the initial shock passed and the men quickly loaded up the chest to bring it back to the ship. Even split many ways, the crew knew they were in for many, many nights of partying. They made it back to the ship without incident and loaded their newly found wealth on board. The crew then set sail, singing shanty after shanty now filled with joy.

A few days later, they spotted the island they were heading for. They knew this island wasn’t huge, but it had everything they needed to begin enjoying their wealth; namely, food and drink. The crew moored the ship to the dock and went ashore, their pockets brimming with gold and gems. Inigo and Fezzik found an inn so that they could try to catch up on some rest. After the excitement the past days, they desperately needed some.

As Inigo was just beginning to sit down in his room, he heard a knock at the door. Opening it, he was shocked to see who was outside. There stood Buttercup with a small child in her arms. He let them into his room, where Buttercup sat down with a pained expression on her face. She told him of Wesley’s disappearance and how she knew Humperdinck had finally caught him. She also mentioned of how some sailors at the docks had seen the ship that Wesley was taken onto.

Inigo knew immediately what he had to do. He woke Fezzik, and together they started to gather the crew. Drunk as they were, it was almost impossible to get the entire crew back onto the ship. After a great deal of bribing them with MORE drinks, they finally had everyone on board as they set sail, heading straight for the island the dock sailors had mentioned. Even drunk, their crew would be more than a match for the disgraced prince.
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Wesley once again heard shouting in the hallway outside his door. He was still getting used to the noise and yelling, but this time seemed different. He lifted his head and tried to get a glimpse of something, but as usual couldn’t see anything outside of the damp stone cell. He heard footsteps thundering away from his room, then nothing for a time. Anxiously he waited for the guards to come in and tell them it was his time, but they never came. Finally, after what seemed like hours he heard footsteps walking back down the hall outside. He heard a key inserted into the thick wooden door, and it swung open with a squeak. Wesley couldn’t believe his eyes; there standing in the doorway was Inigo. He was saved! Inigo and Fezzik strolled into the room and began unchaining him. After a brief greeting, they quickly began their retreat from the jail cells. They returned to the docks, and Wesley was overjoyed to see that his former ship the Revenge was docked there, ready to take him home.

On the ship Wesley listened as Inigo described their invasion of Humperdinck’s base in great detail. Every once in a while, Fezzik would chime in with a well-timed rhyme, and they would double over in laughter. Inigo explained how they had sent men ahead to take out the guards, then land the main force silently during the night. They had slowly worked their way into position, and before the guards could do anything they had all been overpowered. The fight was over almost before it had begun. They had cleaned up the stragglers and looked everywhere for Humperdinck, but the slippery prince must have escaped. This time though, he was the one running away, and for that Wesley was very happy.

Late at night they landed back on Wesley and Buttercup’s island. Wesley’s face lit up when he saw Buttercup and Waverly waiting for him on the dock. He ran down the gangplank to them and grabbed Buttercup for a kiss. He looked down at Waverly as she held up her arms for him to pick her up. He reached down to grab her and said “As you wish…”