Information


Kwikspell has a minion!

Squib the Frankenpie




Kwikspell
Legacy Name: Kwikspell


The Common Experiment #333
Owner: Paddy

Age: 13 years, 9 months, 5 days

Born: June 22nd, 2010

Adopted: 12 years, 11 months, 3 weeks ago

Adopted: April 6th, 2011


Pet Spotlight Winner
April 4th, 2016

Statistics


  • Level: 5
     
  • Strength: 9
     
  • Defense: 11
     
  • Speed: 10
     
  • Health: 7
     
  • HP: 7/7
     
  • Intelligence: 21
     
  • Books Read: 21
  • Food Eaten: 0
  • Job: Hopper


"I don't remember my name anymore. Most people call me Kwikspell to make fun of the fact that I'm pretty much a squib. I loved Hogwarts and magic but I was never great shakes at spells or potions or any of that stuff. Every year at Hogwarts I made abysmal marks on my course work and worst still on my exams. Privately, I think Dumbledore allowed me to stay because he took pity on me. I had no family and no home. I was visited by a Hogwarts Professor when I was eleven, but I don't remember who. They found me in a coffee house sweeping. Mysteriously, everyone in the shop left suddenly and I was alone with the Professor. They sat down with me and told me I had magical potential and there was a fund for impoverished children to come to Hogwarts.


"Riding the train to Hogwarts was exciting, but the excitement didn't last long. I could barely keep up with my classmates. The Professors often were frustrated with my lack of progress or setting fire to the classroom. One of my Professors started to tear up whenever I entered the classroom; another one gave me the class work and shoved me into the hallway. I loathed the hallway as the scary cat would prowl around and try to catch me doing something wrong... which seemed to be all the time.


"When I was old enough, I was allowed to go to the local wizarding village of Hogsmeade but I only got to visit twice. After that I landed myself in so many detentions that I never had another free weekend.


"In my fifth year I was pretty sure even Dumbledore's patience was waning. Of course, I just suspect that as I never really saw him. Maybe I was paranoid. I mean I had no friends nor did I have Professors that liked me. I was best at Care of Magical Creatures. I say best but I still never had great marks. I spent most of my time hiding in the corner of the Hufflepuff tower willing my wand to work the way I intended or petting one of the Hufflepuff's pets that was around at the time. Pets liked me, as did Hagrid - well he smiled at me anytime he passed.


"At last it was time to take my O.W.L exams. I was so nervous I dropped my wand and set fire to one of the examiners. Then when I tried to finish my last spell, it backfired and turned me into this weird half dog-half octopus thing. Madam Pomfrey tried the rest of the semester to set me right but she had no luck, nor did the healer from St Mungo's who came to look at me. In the end they said since I was alive and reasonably well I would have to go about my life and try to forget that I was human.


"My O.W.L results were delivered to me in the dark alley I was sleeping in. I failed all but three of them and the ones I didn't fail were not high enough to allow me to continue at Hogwarts. I don't know of any jobs in the Muggle world that would take me...so that's why I'm here. "May I please have a job?" I said looking up for the first time to the mostly toothless owner of the Hogshead pub.


"Rub, rub, rub. All I've done the last how-ever-many-years is rub, rub, rub. Glass after glass is rubbed with my dirty cloth in the Hogshead pub, even though none of them really get cleaned. I watch the children come down from Hogwarts on their day off. Laughing and enjoying the magical world. Rub, rub, rub. Hags and other unsavoury people carry on conversations and back alley transactions in hushed voices. Rub, rub, rub. Who needs to think when you clean glasses? Well I guess its good I have so many arms. Rub, rub, rub.

"Sorry, did you want a drink?"



ADVERTISEMENT

Tiled background courtesy of, and coding help, plus some character ideas from the ever wonderful Ringo.
Newspaper interview by Raven
Original Newspaper .psd by slevin28 at deviantArt - edited for Kwikspell by Paddy

Named after the Kwikspell course from the Harry Potter books by JK Rowling. All references to the Harry Potter world, including places, names and quotations, belong to JK Rowling.

Pet Treasure


Bloody Eyeball Cocktail

Poison Apothecary Bottle

Bloody Alien Brain Shot

Orangey Mulled Wine

Honey Comb Harvest Ale

Weathered Sailors Flask

Strawberry Sparkling Celebration Champagne Flute

Cherry Sparkling Celebration Champagne Flute

Blueberry Sparkling Celebration Champagne Flute

Lime Sparkling Celebration Champagne Flute

White Grape Sparkling Celebration Champagne Flute

Blue Celebration Champagne Glass Plushie

Celebration Champagne Glass Plushie

Celebratory Champagne Sticker

Champagne Window Decal

Green Celebration Champagne Glass Plushie

Purple Celebration Champagne Glass Plushie

Glittering Champagne

Bloody Brain Shot

2008 Celebration Champagne Glass

Zombie Pub Crawl Guide

Spilled Drink Sticker

Strange Ale Barrel

Velvet Whiskey with a Teal Bag

Celebratory Bubbly

Orbital Punch

Bloodthirsty Mary

Green Fairy Cocktail

Mostly Empty Beer

Pilfered Ornate Decanter

Fresh Pumpkin Spice Ale

Pilsener Beer Horn

Beer of Champions

Boot of Beer

House White Beer

House Abbey Ale

House Amber Lager

Beers of the World

Drinking Like Gunter

Not-So-Traditional Drinking Songs

House Porter

House Oatmeal Stout

House Honey Lager

House Pilsner

House IPA

Wheat Beer Horn

Filled Dimpled Beer Stein

Skull Vodka Bottle

Mulled Apple Cider

Rreign Tamer Mead

Empty Champagne Bottle

Lightshow Champagne Coupe

Clink! A Book of Toasts

Crackling Reborn Illumis Cocktail

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Aurora Bora Shot

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Metal Beer Keg

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Small Wooden Keg

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White Lady Cocktail Bubble

Tuxedo Two Cocktail Bubble

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Punch in the Riftail

Drinking Games with Friends

Citrus Apple Cider

Pumpkin Apple Cider

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Home Brew Kit

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Gunter Beanbag

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New Year Champagne

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Pomegranate Apple Cider

Deadly Ambrosia

Calaca Groom Wedding Toast

More Than Light Beer

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Original Toxic Xotl Bubbly

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Cockroach Killer

Blacklight Octopus Ale

Shot of Darkside

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Sacred Lands Mulled Wine

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Omen Long Islands Iced Tea

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Romantic Wine Guide

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New Years Spilled Celebratory Absinthe

Dance on the Table Sticker

Drink Champagne Sticker

New Years Spilled Celebratory Champagne

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New Years Spilled Celebratory Wine

Forever Frozen Shot

Peka Glade Champagne

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Saherimos Sherry

Cocktail Cryo Tube

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Aperol Gel

Zero G Cocktails

Fine Aged Scotch Whisky

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Oberstkatze Filled Stein

Tomorrow We Sail Cocktail

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Apple Cider Mimosa

Drinking Games with Krakens

Seeing Double Mug Candle

New Year Apple Cider

New Years Sparkling Wine

Whiskey Coffee

Coffee Martini

Coffee Alexander

Dirty Banana

Ziara Gutter Wyllop

Molten Metal Shot

Wake the Dead

Baked Toddy

Beer Punch

MonoRi Special

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Hot Buttered Rum Candle

Mulled Wine Candle

Apple Cider Doughnut

Luxurious Pearls and Wine

Heavenly Pearls and Wine

Decadent Pearls and Wine

Special Order Veta Lake Wine Cask

Bring Us Sugar Tea and Rum Sticker

A Drunken Sailor Sticker

Special Order Darkside Wine Cask

No Scurvy Mead

Hard Coffee Soda

Lederhosen Sticker

Dirndl Sticker

Alegarten Lager Sampler

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Green Plastic Bottle Opener

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Simple Bottle Opener

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The Craft of Craft Beer

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Dark Ale Beer Horn

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Rum Cake

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Rumana

Groggle

Low-Quality Beer Box

Mysterious Bottle

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Lime Jelly Shot

Grape Jelly Shot

Strawberry Jelly Shot

Blue Raspberry Jelly Shot

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Chocolate Shot Cake

2Hot Shot

Strawberry Mint Cocktail

Raspberry Spring

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Grapefruit and Pomegranate Kicker

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Triple Bloody Caesar

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Crushed Melon and Mint Cocktail

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Rosewater Champagne

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Sangria

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Centropolis Stout

Mug of Helles

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Vegetarian Ale

Beer for Beginners

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Stocks Drinking Game Rules

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Random Drinking Game Rules

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Red 2010 Shot Glass

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Green 2010 Shot Glass

Corn Sugar

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Gold Drinking Horn

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Six Pack of Hard Cider

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Six Pack of Pilsner

Six Pack of IPA

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Wall Mountable Bottle Opener

Elmos Flask

Green Painted Alegarten Coaster

Purple Painted Alegarten Coaster

Pink Painted Alegarten Coaster

White Painted Alegarten Coaster

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Rotten Bleer

Roach Stale Ale

2012 Coconut Drink

2012 Celebration Drink

Briny Deep

Spring Street Old Ale

Sugar Plum Cocktail

Free Beer

Zombie Beer

Filled Silver Lovely Ale Mug

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Eighth Anniversary Celebration Champagne

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Personal Tankard of Dirty Matty

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2012 Spirits Bottle

Malt Extract

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Scoop of Hops

Sailors Warning

Honey Bea

Flotsam and Jetsam

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Broken Jug

Riverside Aged Whiskey

Rose Wine

Frostberry Vodka

Endless Love Bubbly

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Trashy Bottle

Used Bottle Cap

Aged Scotch

Butlers Tray

Champagne Chocolate Truffle

Sparkling Champagne and Berries

Filet Mignon with Wine Sauce

2008 Celebration Champagne

Peach Schnapps

Beer Burp Mug Candle

Free Beer

Absinthe

Drink of Nogg

Fresh Froth Mug Candle

I Hold My Liquor Sticker

Get Mugged Irish Cream Syrup

Flesh Zombie Zaliva

Eye Jelly Shot

Earwax Zombie Zaliva

Earwax Stale Ale

Dirt Aged Scotch

Delphi Black Label

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Lame One Liner Mug Candle

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Vegetarian Ale

Rotten Aged Scotch

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Saloon Photograph

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Regular Bleer

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The Mega Grog

Homemade Dark Rum

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Pumpkin Juice

Guarded Flask

Silver Drinking Horn

Rumfastian

Shadowglen Collectible Stein

Atebus Ale

Bile Aged Scotch

Brain Bleer Boot

Bloody Stale Ale

Bloodshot Eye Jelly Shot

Candy Corn Shot

Blood Zombie Zaliva

Bloody Eye Jelly Shot

Blood Aged Scotch

Bloody Bleer

Empty Beer Bottle

Filled Beer Bottle

Wine Glass

Charmed Red 2011 Wine Glass

Miniature Beer Stein

Simple Goblet

Filled Beer Bottle

Empty Beer Bottle

Veta Lake Lager

Keg of Rosbier

Pink Drink Umbrella

Orange Drink Umbrella

Blue Drink Umbrella

Purple Mini Drink Umbrella

Beer Keg

Veta Lake Lager

Bottle of Rosbier

Beer

Ale Flavored Beer

Roach Extract Bleer

Mug of Dunkel Beer

Beer Flavored Ale

Bottle of Rosbier

Beer Flavored Beer

Mug of Dark Green Beer

Lederhosen Overflowing Beer Stein

Bumbo

Tankard Of Grog

Commemorative Freyalise Stein

Homemade Dark Rum

Shot of Vodka

Velvet Whiskey with a Red Bag

Velvet Whiskey with a Pink Bag

Velvet Whiskey with an Orange Bag

Velvet Whiskey with a Yellow Bag

Velvet Whiskey with a Lime Bag

Velvet Whiskey with a Blue Bag

Velvet Whiskey with a Purple Bag

Velvet Whiskey with a White Bag

Velvet Whiskey with a Gray Bag

Fancy Alcohol

Tequila

Distilled Rum

Whiskey

Dry Gin

Brandy

Port Port

Pirate Rum

Whiskey Decanter Set

Cask of Rum

Tankard of Rum

Gilded Drinking Flask

Belted Glass Drinking Flask

Siren Stein

Dainty Drinking Flask

Commemorative Freyalise Stein

Scrimshawed Flask

Magic Wand

Magic Wand

Magic Wand

Magic Wand

Magic Wand

Magic Wand

Magic Wand

Magic Wand

Sake

Cocktail Shaker

Martini

Dirty Martini

Appletini

Vodkatini

Turkeytini

Cardamom Mulled Wine

Vodka

Shot of Vodka

Citrus Fancy Juice

Orange Fancy Juice

Strawberry Fancy Juice

Cherry Fancy Juice

Grape Fancy Juice

Pumpkin Grape Juice

Shot of Whiskey

Shot of Brandywine

Cosmopolitan

Red Wine

Cinnamon Mulled Wine

Orangey Mulled Wine

Glass of Bock Beer

Glass of Smoked Beer

Sample Size Pale Lager

Sample Size Stout

Sample Size Ale

Sample Size Oatmeal Stout

Sample Size Wheat Beer

Sample Size Dark Lager

Sample Size Ale

2008 Celebration Sparkling Grape Juice Glass

Lagan and Derelict

Glass of Green Beer

Glass of Wheat Beer

Pilsener Glass

Fuzzy Navel

Screwdriver

Rusty Nail

Harvey Wallbanger

Slammer

Autumn Harvest Red Ale

Autumn Harvest Orange Ale

Autumn Harvest Green Ale

Autumn Harvest Yellow Ale

Autumn Harvest Brown Ale

Autumn Harvest Owl Ale

Slammer

Pink Squirrel

Metallic Raspberry Champagne

The Smoker

Fun On The Beach

Strawberry Daiquiri

Candied Rose Petal

Rhubarb and Tequila Cocktail

Caberet Cocktail

Shrimp Cocktail Appetizer

Kir Royale

Bloody Marian

Champagne Dream

Woowoo

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Zombie

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Slippery Nipple

Sidecar

Metallic Mango Champagne

Bellini

Mint Julep

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Cucumber Water

Cucumber Sliver Garnish

Grasshopper

Fizzy Mint Drink

Fizzy Cucumber Drink

Fizzy Blueberry Drink

Metallic Green Apple Champagne

Melon Sour

Fizzy Lemon Drink

Mojito

Gin and Tonic

Fizzy Strawberry Drink

Gimlet

Lime Water

Margarita

Caipirinha

The Haze

The Haze

Pina Colada

Metallic Blueberry Champagne

Blue Tropical

Flaming B-52

Metallic Grape Champagne

Sugar Plum Cocktail

Mai Tai

Long Island Iced Tea

Bloody Mary

Ginger Beer

White Bear

Black Bear

Slippery Nipple

No Hander

Mudslide

Lemon Drop

Whiskey Sour

Gin Fizz

Salmon Shooter

2012 Champagne

Truffle Truffle

Mini Dessert Croissant

Peanuts

Breaded Prawn Canape

Purest Pumpkin Juice

Trashy Bottle

Root Beer Soda

Sweet Jalapeno Soda

Key Lime Soda

Vanilla Cream Soda

Black Cherry Stir Stick

Pumpkin Tea

Magic Wand

Strawberry Trifle

Banana Trifle

Coffee Caramel Trifle

Kiwi Trifle

Orange Trifle

Ginger Trifle

Magic Wand

White Chocolate Alegarten Brownie

Lemon Alegarten Brownie

Orange Alegarten Brownie

Cookie Alegarten Brownie

Cream Cheese Pumpkin Bar

Chocolate Alegarten Brownie

Mint Chocolate Alegarten Brownie

Dark Chocolate Alegarten Brownie

Magic Wand

Magic Wand

Magic Wand

Magic Wand

Magic Wand

Magic Wand

Magic Wand

Magic Wand

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