Milkshake

• Meet the Critic
• The Story
• Let's Eat
• Curated Tomes
• Credit is Due

Hi, I'm Milkshake

I believe every meal deserves a fair review
and every dessert deserves a second chance.
Fortunately, I'm highly qualified.

So you want to know how a Dillema like me became such an extraordinary expert in the Cuisine of this place?

The truth is, I was always exceptional when it came to food. I could smell, taste, and enjoy things no other dragon in my community ever dreamed of. There really was no other thing than to dedicate my entire life to food, and I am very proud of that.

I suspect that no one knows more about food than I do, and no one enjoys it more. Except maybe my buddy Pete, but he learned everything he knows from me.

But I promised you a story.

I was born into a very typical dragon family. We did all the things that every Dillema did. We went to the same places. We had the same goals. We ate the same food. My parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents, back for countless millennia, had all followed the same path that all proper Dillema follow.

The family expectations were actually engraved in stone by my sixth great-grandfather.

But me? I like to rearrange things into something cleverly new.

But when it came to roaring, I won't say that I couldn't roar if I tried, but I didn't even try. I didn't need to.

My family was mortified.

We all love food, but how is that worthy of a dragon's passion? They said.

Books are an acceptable dragon hoard. But why are they all about food? That's not impressive enough for a Dillema, they said.

Breathing fire is for scorching things, not for heating soup. Why can't you toast a villain's pants off once in a while instead? They said.

But it was the lack of roar that really got them. What kind of Dillema doesn't roar? They were convinced something was terribly wrong.

They sent me to specialist after specialist, determined that even if I did nothing else right, I WOULD roar. But I was never interested in roaring. I was interested in eating.

So, I ate. Every new dish was a mystery waiting to be uncovered. Each new flavor was an adventure tucked inside a bite, a little edible map of the world. And the more I ate, the more I wanted to eat. And the more I ate, the more I discovered. I hardly think that this was anything less than my destiny.

While my family searched for obscure cures for my voice, which I maintain is perfectly fine for what I do, I spent my time sampling local cuisine.

I was obsessed, I admit it. I kept notes on everything. Every book that mentioned food, fact or fiction, had to be added to my library. I even wrote a few of my own.

As time passed and I grew from a curious Dillema dragonling into an adult, chefs, historians, and food scientists began to seek me out for my books and my experience. Today, I am a renowned Subeta food critic and consultant.

My family will never admit it publicly, but they slowly started to understand that my differences were part of what made me extraordinary. And whenever I see them sneaking a bite at Libertine Lounge after a new menu I consulted on is dropped, I know they're at least a little proud.

Just when I think I've tasted it all, there's still another food discovery waiting for me.

You might not be able to compete with my decades of knowledge, but I hope you'll at least try a few bites of my latest find before you go. If you have questions, just ask. I have all the answers, after all.

Oh, and I did finally roar. At a chef who dared to leave out the salt one too many times. He deserved it.

I suppose I should give a little credit to some of the people who might have helped me a little bit.

Original profile template by Lea.

All profile modifications and style tweaks by springblom

Milkshake's Story is told by springblom. With his permission, of course.

Background Image from Sergey Kotenev on Unsplash

Burger Bounce Gif from Giphy.