Free Gift: Elwood-style Anger Management

Are you *bleep*ing kidding me!? I have to finance my own holiday every year, but a literal amorphous blob gets a whole monthly collection?

I honestly do not get the priorities of this place, sometimes. Like, y’all remember I drove my pizza van up a mountain just to help out, right? Do you even know what kind of logistical nightmare it is to get a van onto an unincorporated tropical island to begin with? And that’s just a normal island! This one was cursed by a sea witch! Now, to be fair, I did use the power of fourth-wall, but that’s not the point my dudes.

You know what? Whatever, let all the people with terrible taste have their precious, beloved blob garbage. I’ve got something for the rest of us.