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bleep blop

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My Survivors

Ah... I met Shaxzy, a really long time ago, like, in 2008. That'll make ya feel old. Anyway I met him during these weird hangouts with a bunch of other people and stuff and we kinda just hung out cuz he's a bat and I'm a ... bat-bot. You know where this is going, don't be an idiot, I know you see the word boyfriend above this. Back then I was even more malicious than I am now, but for some dumb reason he wanted to be my friend... And then I considered him my friend. And then it was just us, without the other people. And he could fly up really high and get clouds into jars and he gave me one... And there were jugs of root beer. And dancing to Daft Punk. And sleepovers. And... and a flower. Did I even notice he liked me before then? Did I catch feelings for the meatbag all on my own before that... Er, well, did I promise not to call him a meatbag? Anyway. I mean he is the one who took the time to try to teach me how to be nicer to people, and he still tries to teach me to fly. After all this time we're still together. What do you want me to say, that I'm really proud of him and how he's grown and what he's accomplished?! That I appreciate everything he's ever done for me and put up with when it came to me?! W-Well I'm not going to. Ahem. I'm not that cheesy. I mean he already knows I love him, I told him like a million times, but it's none of your beeswax.

Shad2 is the first person to answer to our ad for a roommate and actually stay. I mean like I said, back then I was even more malicious, but this dude must be a masochist for abuse because I left before he did! He's a real simpleton though - blissfully unaware of most things around him. 'Least that's how it used to be. He started a band, he plays a little guitar but mostly sings now. Course I tell him to his face that his music sucks, cuz that'll push him to do even better right? Course it will. He does whatever I say, most of the time... But I lightened up with a lot. I DID NOT GO SOFT... Just learned how to, I guess, rein it in sometimes. He actually trusts me, that idiot... Lucky for him, I'm Nice now, and I moved in with Shaxzy so I guess that's mostly the end of things.

I actually used to like this guy, I mean we are pretty similar I guess. Whatever. All things considered we'd be a good match, but he pushed me away for too long, then I found someone else. Now he's the one who won't take a hint. Am I the only one he's willing to kiss the feet of? To submit to and do favors for a chance? Whatever. Again. I guess I shouldn't "abuse that power", anyway, I like Shaxzy way too much to go back. Bender can deal with being just my friend or he can go rot in Area 54 and wait for the millennium to turn.