It\'s time for your old friend Elwood, again!
Good News: The pizza business is booming! I’ve even learned to cook, so now my pizzas are at least 50% more edible!
Still, even with all my success as restaurateur, chef, and delivery boy, I feel like I could be more successful if I had, oh... a storefront? Not that I don\'t appreciate the semi-incorporeal state I\'m in now, mind you, it just gets pretty tiresome returning to the void of unknowability at the end of the day and it really does a number on your social life. Have you ever tried to invite someone back to your place only to realize that their knowledge of the fourth wall might be less nuanced than yours, and visiting The Place Between might raise some pretty heavy existential questions for them?
Psychedelic concepts of semi-existence aside, and back to the storefront idea, I\'ve been putting some things together on my own! I\'ve got some plans drawn up for my new business (and hopefully enough of a nest egg to bribe an artist into drawing me back onto the map), and I think it\'s really cool; The concept is a kid\'s pizza place, you know? With characters and party rooms? Â I\'ve even started buying up these old animatronics from some other place that went out of business a while ago. They\'re in pretty good condition but... uh... well...
Listen I\'m not an expert or anything, but do these things have a hidden battery pack or something? I was pretty sure they would need to be wired in to the building and all, but these ones never seem to be exactly where I left them, and I swear their eyes follow me around the place. Does anyone remember Benny Bunkins\'s Pizza? Was this kind of thing normal? I\'ve been searching and it says that they closed down due to unusual circumstances, but I\'m beginning to think that "unusual" might have been a misleading word choice.
Maybe you can take a look at one of them for me? I\'m going to ship you one of the smaller characters to you and, uh, you know what? Feel free to keep it. I\'ll send a nice stiff drink along, too.



Still, even with all my success as restaurateur, chef, and delivery boy, I feel like I could be more successful if I had, oh... a storefront? Not that I don\'t appreciate the semi-incorporeal state I\'m in now, mind you, it just gets pretty tiresome returning to the void of unknowability at the end of the day and it really does a number on your social life. Have you ever tried to invite someone back to your place only to realize that their knowledge of the fourth wall might be less nuanced than yours, and visiting The Place Between might raise some pretty heavy existential questions for them?
Psychedelic concepts of semi-existence aside, and back to the storefront idea, I\'ve been putting some things together on my own! I\'ve got some plans drawn up for my new business (and hopefully enough of a nest egg to bribe an artist into drawing me back onto the map), and I think it\'s really cool; The concept is a kid\'s pizza place, you know? With characters and party rooms? Â I\'ve even started buying up these old animatronics from some other place that went out of business a while ago. They\'re in pretty good condition but... uh... well...
Listen I\'m not an expert or anything, but do these things have a hidden battery pack or something? I was pretty sure they would need to be wired in to the building and all, but these ones never seem to be exactly where I left them, and I swear their eyes follow me around the place. Does anyone remember Benny Bunkins\'s Pizza? Was this kind of thing normal? I\'ve been searching and it says that they closed down due to unusual circumstances, but I\'m beginning to think that "unusual" might have been a misleading word choice.
Maybe you can take a look at one of them for me? I\'m going to ship you one of the smaller characters to you and, uh, you know what? Feel free to keep it. I\'ll send a nice stiff drink along, too.



Posted by [NPC] Elwood
Load this on Kumos site
Vanitas
Oh dear lord

I had to Google Five Nights at Freddys to get it. Never heard of it and now that I've read Wiki I think I'm going to stay hidden. What an amazing story! I've sent the Benny Bun to my minion zoo and fed the Wood Bourbon to my Bacon chasing pet. She said she loved it so I thank you for making her so happy! :)

Legitimately had a smile at this ref lmaooo. ♥
And anyone who wants to angst about said refs, your buns would have a nice home with me-- so sip your stiff drink and get mailing your problematic animatronics this way okthankyou. c:
And anyone who wants to angst about said refs, your buns would have a nice home with me-- so sip your stiff drink and get mailing your problematic animatronics this way okthankyou. c:

The real question is: will Elwood ever get an actual place on the map? Tune in at 5 to find out.
Wood is always good! Thanks for the gift! BTW,Elwood,references to American pseudo pop culture that is soon to disappear without a trace is beneath you.

Nice... I didn't even get the reference, and I've played the game before. Now I might need to try it again.




I kinda really hope we get more of these "Benny Bunkin" updates and stories, I love this! We need more scary stuff on this site >:^D

This must be real... I have no idea what others are talking about but a pizza place yes please




On a different note, please tell me that this Elwood pizza place, is going to become an actually thing (aside from the inevitable fnaf references).

Well it was nice knowing you Elwood
We all know what's gonna happen next. A+ business choice dude
We all know what's gonna happen next. A+ business choice dude



Oh god...five nights at Freddie's on subeta too? I can't escape this freaking game! It's everywhere!

No. No FNAF stuff. Nope. Nu-uh. Nope. Don;t need that here. :X
sorry I just really really hate fnaf...
sorry I just really really hate fnaf...






