It\'s time for your old friend Elwood, again!

Good News: The pizza business is booming! I’ve even learned to cook, so now my pizzas are at least 50% more edible!



Still, even with all my success as restaurateur, chef, and delivery boy, I feel like I could be more successful if I had, oh... a storefront? Not that I don\'t appreciate the semi-incorporeal state I\'m in now, mind you, it just gets pretty tiresome returning to the void of unknowability at the end of the day and it really does a number on your social life. Have you ever tried to invite someone back to your place only to realize that their knowledge of the fourth wall might be less nuanced than yours, and visiting The Place Between might raise some pretty heavy existential questions for them?



Psychedelic concepts of semi-existence aside, and back to the storefront idea, I\'ve been putting some things together on my own! I\'ve got some plans drawn up for my new business (and hopefully enough of a nest egg to bribe an artist into drawing me back onto the map), and I think it\'s really cool; The concept is a kid\'s pizza place, you know? With characters and party rooms?  I\'ve even started buying up these old animatronics from some other place that went out of business a while ago. They\'re in pretty good condition but... uh... well...



Listen I\'m not an expert or anything, but do these things have a hidden battery pack or something? I was pretty sure they would need to be wired in to the building and all, but these ones never seem to be exactly where I left them, and I swear their eyes follow me around the place. Does anyone remember Benny Bunkins\'s Pizza? Was this kind of thing normal? I\'ve been searching and it says that they closed down due to unusual circumstances, but I\'m beginning to think that "unusual" might have been a misleading word choice.



Maybe you can take a look at one of them for me? I\'m going to ship you one of the smaller characters to you and, uh, you know what? Feel free to keep it. I\'ll send a nice stiff drink along, too.



Elwooden Crate


Benny Bun
Wood Bourbon
User Avatar: 336132

Posted by [NPC] Elwood

Load this on Kumos site
Vanitas
Oh dear lord
Lyriel
OOOOH MYYY GOOOD
Cobaltbluetoo
I had to Google Five Nights at Freddys to get it. Never heard of it and now that I've read Wiki I think I'm going to stay hidden. What an amazing story! I've sent the Benny Bun to my minion zoo and fed the Wood Bourbon to my Bacon chasing pet. She said she loved it so I thank you for making her so happy! :)
Junkrat
Legitimately had a smile at this ref lmaooo. ♥

And anyone who wants to angst about said refs, your buns would have a nice home with me-- so sip your stiff drink and get mailing your problematic animatronics this way okthankyou. c:
Tserel
The real question is: will Elwood ever get an actual place on the map? Tune in at 5 to find out.
Who
When are animatronics ever a good idea in this day and age, no no no NO just no smh
Lilith69xxx
Wood is always good! Thanks for the gift! BTW,Elwood,references to American pseudo pop culture that is soon to disappear without a trace is beneath you.
Desilyna
Nice... I didn't even get the reference, and I've played the game before. Now I might need to try it again.
Bathory
Hey if you don't want that creepy bun ILL TAKE THEM ALL
atempause
this reference makes me so happy
and my fnaf pet too
Rocketlauncher
One night at Elwood's is a night too many D:
FENNEC
To those wanting to know its a creepy video game reference;P
Muerte
Not enough dick jokes.
Curbstomped
I kinda really hope we get more of these "Benny Bunkin" updates and stories, I love this! We need more scary stuff on this site >:^D
Alcremie
@Belladonnareed You are SO lucky you don't get that reference.
wordless
This must be real... I have no idea what others are talking about but a pizza place yes please
Hetty
Five Nights at Freddys? Eeep, never heard of it runs to google
Hannah66665
Oh god, no. Just no. Can say I didn't see that coming when I started reading. XD
Abaven
@MarissaUnderground
Glad to see I'm not alone. XD
Unicorn
lol. it's a five nights at freddy's ref
FENNEC
lol five nights at freddies refxD
Prussia
Haha this is awesome.
Abaven
On a different note, please tell me that this Elwood pizza place, is going to become an actually thing (aside from the inevitable fnaf references).
Sovereign
Well it was nice knowing you Elwood
We all know what's gonna happen next. A+ business choice dude
Alcremie
@Kittyclaws911 I know, one of the many reasons why I can't stand those games.
FeralPup
This makes me happy in about 74 different ways.

At least.
Pagan
Not familiar with the reference...but that is creepy! hides in back of vault
Seoni
So how many night shift employees are you gonna go through?
Tserel
the newest fnaf game is lookin great elwood
Abaven
Oh god...five nights at Freddie's on subeta too? I can't escape this freaking game! It's everywhere!
Alcremie
No. No FNAF stuff. Nope. Nu-uh. Nope. Don;t need that here. :X

sorry I just really really hate fnaf...
itsdash
good luck elwood :P
Moran
OMG ELWOOD! Stay away from these animatronics! D: (FNAF reference ftw)
Seraphim
Oh.... hello Five Nights at Freddy's Reference....
nopenopenope.
Musician
This entire reference just made me NOPE.
flamboyantCuttlefish
A long, elaborate story to justify the pun "Elwooden Crate."

I highly approve.
Tserel
is this whole thing a fuckin five nights at freddies ref omg
moonflower_goddess
ohhhhhhhhhhh thankyou so much elwood its lovely
Tserel
Praise be to Elwood! Everyone needs some wood in their life.

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