Welcome, visitor! You're just in time for the latest shipment I have found to make it into my library. My Name is C.J. Lector, and I am the librarian for stories freely posted on the internet. I know you must think its such a daunting task, but truly, I enjoy it! I am the keeper of the worst type of fiction imaginable. I am the keeper of the drivel from the pit of voles. I am the keeper of sheer mindnumbing, braincell killing offal the miscreants of that site produce. I am the keeper of OOC crossovers with mary sue inserts that make no sense and devolve into badly written PWP. I am the keeper of fanfic so bad that it makes you cringe and hide your browser history when people walk by. I am the keeper of the common person's stories, and I am legion, for my works are many.
I will warn you, reader beware! literary masterpieces these are not. Caveat lector, you'll hear me say and I've said it so often it's become a nickname amongst my peers, the other librarians. They laugh at the works I've amassed over the years, how i justify my pursuits of the perfectly atrocious, the mundane, and the terribly cliched. How I live to correct purple prose and rouge angles of satin in my head, think of ways to flesh out Mary Sue/Gary Stu's into full-fledged original characters so they can leave my libraries and find a place of their own in history.
I've read so many books so many others have already read and discussed, worn out conversations with age old debates. How I long for something new and inspired, even if badly executed. How I wish others with their highbrow works they enjoy would try something more run of the mill for a change, change snobbery for modesty, frippery for fallacies, and plot arcs for plot holes.
Alas! Perhaps my true calling in life was becoming a high school English professor instead of a librarian.
CAVEAT LECTOR'S ESSENTIAL BADFIC READING (YMMV):
- "the quintessential badfic, just read it already"
My Inner Life - "words escape me at the beauty of this piece"
Halflife Fullife Consequences - "a recommendation of sorts"
Poul meets da fringe - "brief but poignant in its execution"
Dream Child - "a personal favourite"
Forbidden Fruit the Temptation of Edward Cullen - "I would say this is an improvement on the source material, personally"