Who thought mixing advertising with biogenetic manipulated dinosaurs was a good idea? Seriously? Who? Because that S.O.B. needs a really good smack upside the idiotic head the idea came from. Honestly, it's the unholy combination of the consumer’s insatiable hunger and corporate greed.
It started with an overreaching network company that paid top dollar to put their ugly ass red and white logo all over the Indominus rex, the first generation of engineered dinosaurs. Then came the Pepsisaur and the Tostidon. It went down-hill from there. The focus groups wanted more. Vicious, meaner, scarier, better, and that is exactly what they got with each new generation of engineered monstrosity. Every busy body with a couple hundred million dollars to rub together wanted their own special snowflake of a dinosaur.
Eventually big and scary lost its edge and cute was the new flavour of the month. The family oriented companies were tired of seeing more teeth and wanted something that could easily elicit the 'aaw' factor. The bioengineers had a field day trying to tinker with the genetics of various species to make kid friendly, mother approved dinosaurs.
The first generations were pretty wild, small creatures with lavender or mint colored hides speckled with wicked long spines and frilled heads. To everyone’s disappointment, they didn’t live long.
Then came the second generation, even smaller creatures with soft pink and blue hides that had beautifully swirled patterns and short spines along the ridge of the back. These had a longer lifespan and were quite popular with the artsy individuals when initially displayed to the public.
The third generation hit the cuteness mother-load, and included the first corporately sponsored species, the Hostessaurus crustumis. She was engineered to have a hide similar to that of a Twinkie, an artificial yellow to match the signature laden snack cake of Hostess. The surprise of her creation come from the foam-like spines on her back and tail, which look like drops of whipped cream. The sleep deprived moms with 2.5 children focus group went absolutely nuts when they saw her and so did the children of the world. When the Hostessaurus made her big debut there was an international naming contest with the winner receiving a round trip to Jurassic World for her unveiling. Thousands of names were submitted and it was narrowed down to just 5, Dollop, Swoop, Rosette, Swirl, and Mellow. Dollop won by a very small margin and the public loved her from that point onward.
Jurassic Park and World are copyrighted by Universal Pictures!
Concept, Story & Graphics: Buttercream