Information


Cadaver has a minion!

Spooks the Fright




Cadaver


The Graveyard Telenine
Owner: heARSE

Age: 7 years, 1 day

Born: August 18th, 2012

Adopted: 4 years, 8 months, 1 week ago

Adopted: December 8th, 2014

Statistics


  • Level: 21
     
  • Strength: 52
     
  • Defense: 52
     
  • Speed: 50
     
  • Health: 50
     
  • HP: 42/50
     
  • Intelligence: 10
     
  • Books Read: 8
  • Food Eaten: 1,455
  • Job: Tombstone Cleaner


I died once.
But I got better.




So one night, on the way to my job for the graveyard shift, I'm driving along, and I see this bright red Coleman cooler in the middle of the road. Being who I am, I stop to go see what shape it was in, cause coolers are fantastic: you can keep fish in there, or sodas, or food, or whatever, and this one was free.

So I goes and I pick it up, and it feels a little chilled, like there’s ice in it or something. I bring it to my Tahoe, open the back hatch so I've got both light and a place to set it down, and I thud the cooler onto the back hatch.

I turn it around, and there’s this sticker with bold letters that reads “HUMAN ORGAN FOR TRANSPLANT: HANDLE WITH CARE” along with a giant biohazard symbol on the side.

Needless to say, I'm freaking out a little bit, but I'm also curious, so I open the cooler to take a peek. Inside are three human toes. I slam the lid down and push the cooler away from me a little.
Now I'm not only freaking out, I'm grossed out.
So I scramble to get my phone out of my pocket and I call the police to let them know what I found.

The police tell me to just leave it there, stay where I am, and they’d send someone to come get it.
That's fine and all, but I've gotta get my ass to work. So I call my boss to tell him I'm gonna be late, I found this cooler on the side of the road and before I finish he asks why I'm gonna be late.
So I tell him like it is:
“I gotta wait for the toe truck.”



ca·dav·er -- n.
a corpse
synonyms: body, dead body, remains, carcass


Story by me (heARSE) - based on an old joke my dad loves to tell.



Profile template by Lea.

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