Marcy
Legacy Name: Marcy

Earth has always been a subject of my interest. Humans are a peculiar race: they betray their loved ones yet they perform acts of kindness for strangers. They produce enough effluents to barricade the sky yet expect to see the stars at night. They do not believe their own kiln yet are blindly devoted to the words of a soothsayer.

Humans are indeed peculiar.

My first visit to Earth taught me these things. There were people who believed in God, people who did not. Those who loved for a night and for a lifetime. Those who could purchase anything they wished to and those who could not find a morsel to subdue their hunger.

Why is there such imbalance in the human world?

I had the need to understand their mindset. Each human is born different, looks different. In my planet, all of us look alike. We have no names, no faces. We do not have any gender or identity. We are faceless and we are equals. We have no emotions, just curiosity for how things worked.Very unlike the human world.

I tried to mirror their ways. I tried to put myself in their situations. I wondered what kind of human I would be. Would I be good or bad? Surely it boiled down to just these two types of humans. Would I own a dog? Would I fall in love?

Every day I took a walk around the neighbourhood. I watched the little humans run around and play. I stood at a busy intersection and watched how different humans reacted. I took photographs of man yelling over his phone, a woman carrying a child, a boy trying to pick a pocket, a young couple hugging, a musician playing a cheerful tune on his trumpet without a care in the world.And I asked myself the same question every day...

What would I do if I were a human?

Would I be selfish or giving? Would i laugh if someone tripped and fell or would I help pick them up? I suppose it does not matter. I was simply here to observe. Not to react.

When I first came to Earth, I had picked a name: 'Emy'. It was one I had heard over a radio frequency a few months ago, when I was still trying to understand human ways before going out into their territory. I do not know how many humans listen to the radio anymore but it does provide me with a lot of information. News from all over Earth, music, culture, weather forecasts. I was fascinated by it.

I went back to my planet and shared this information with my people. They were curious and wanted to visit Earth as well. Still, my people needed to know more; about their clothes, how they reacted to the change of seasons. They wanted information they could use when they wished to visit Earth as well.

On my second visit to Earth, I knew how I wanted to look. I wanted to be a female. With long hair the color of corn and blue eyes. This was considered attractive on Earth. It was probably why I had my first human interaction.

I was Emy the writer, in town to gain inspiration for my novel - this was not far from the truth. Back home, I used to publish my findings and diagnose the photographs like they were rare specimens. I remembered he faces of each person I had photographed. Their clothes, their faces. Even the moment I had seen them.

One such moment joined me at my table.
The trumpet player.
"You new in town?" he asked, sitting opposite me, placing his trumpet case on the third chair.
His hair was dark brown, wavy, till the bottom of his neck and his eyes were green. Wild and bright. He wore a maroon turtle.. what was the word they used.. turtleneck and a black fedora. I needed to engage instead of observing at this point. All of my studies had lead me to this moment.

"..I haven't seen you around." He added, as an explanation to his question. I probably looked awkward to the human. I let out a breath, sat up straight and said:"Hello, friend. It is a pleasure to meet you."

The human stared at me as if I was mental. I had done something terribly wrong. I had to abort the mission. I stood up hurriedly, knocking over my chair. This was the cue to apologize.

"I am extremely apologetic. It was an honest mistake, honest from the heart. I will not repeat it. S-Sorry."

At this point the human burst out laughing and said,"You're definitely new in town. Sit, sit. You got me curious. Where you from?"

He was curious about me? I picked up my chair and sat down again.

"Far away." I said, not offering any further explanation.

"Ah, the mysterious kind! I can deal with that. So you're sitting here all alone.. with a-"

"Cupcake." I heard they were a popular food among humans and I did find them flavourful.

"Cupcake. And what's your game?"

"My game?" I knew the names of a few games but I had never played them.

"Solitare." I decided to answer safe.

"I can see that," he said, smiling. His eyes were brighter when he smiled. I had to note this down. I needed to study this and a lot other things. I decided he could assist me with this.

"But I can play multiplayer games." I added, curving my lips into a smile. "What's your name?" I asked, feeling brave.

"Eric. And yours?"

"I'm Emy and it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Well it damn well must be, since you've said that twice now." He said, laughing.

Soon, we became fast friends. I told him I was from a place far away and did not have access to the city until now - which explained why I was not familiar with many things. He understood and patiently explained everything to me. He took me to different places - a bar, a restaurant, a movie theater. He taught me how to dance and sing and he taught me how to order from a menu, buy a ticket, ride the bus. I knew all these things, in theory, from my observations but experiencing them first hand was a different bargain altogether.

He opened my eyes to a new world - one that I had only seen the dark side of, never truly understanding what it meant to be human. I was not just playing the role, I was living it.

One night, after I watched him play, we packed up and went to his favourite spot - the rooftop of an abandoned building that overlooked the city. The wind whipped in my hair - a feeling I loved. I looked up at the night sky that was sprinkled with stars. I closed my eyes and hugged myself, thinking of my home.

When I opened them, Eric stood before me. He looked serious, I had never seen him this way. He ran a hand through his long hair and looked away.

"What is it, Eric? Are you in some sort of discomfort?"

"Damn it, Emy, I think I'm falling in love with you."

"Love? I do not understand, we have never-"

Eric swiftly moved closer and held my face in his palms. His lips touched mine.

I stood still, unsure of how to react. I never imagined myself in this predicament. "Would I fall in love?" I remember asking myself that. But I was not a human.. therefore, I could not love. I knew nothing about love. I realized I had led Eric into a trap; I had no right to trick Eric into thinking I was someone else from the beginning.

"Eric, wait, there's something I need to tell you." I said, pulling away.

"..You're not married, are you? Boyfriend?"

"No, no, I.. need to leave. In the near future. I cannot stay here, and this friendship cannot bloom any longer."

"Don't go, please." He implored, holding my hands in his.

"I'm not who you think I am, Eric. If you knew my true self, you would not love me this way."

"I don't care about that. I fell in love with you for you for who you are, not where you're from or what you look like, Emy. So whatever it is you haven't told me, I can deal with it.

I looked at his eyes, bright as ever. Eric was my only companion and I was his. Perhaps we were already in love from the start. Perhaps it was meant to be. I trusted Eric with my life. I decided would trust him with this too.

I closed my eyes and let the transformation begin. My golden hair went back into my scalp, as if growing backwards, to reveal my head completely. My eyes turned into a violet hue, my skin was smooth and hairless, teal in colour. My face, however, remained the same. I could not change it back.

"This is me" I said, opening my eyes.

Eric stared at me in horror. He backed away a few steps, covering his mouth with his palms, trying not to vomit. He was at a loss for words. I did not blame him. I knew how i looked. Still, seeing someone expressing horror while looking at you is hurtful. "Eric.." I reached out. Revolted, he held up his hand, as if asking me to stay where I was, while eyeing the door. I took a few steps forward, giving him the cue to dash for the exit without a second thought.

After that night, I vowed never to return to Earth. My chest ached and I was breathless. My body felt weak and tired. Tears streamed from my eyes and I cried. I cried because I felt pain. I felt as if I would cease to exist any second, that my heart would stop beating. I had always seen the good side of everything but if being human also meant feeling this way then I never wanted to be human. I had made a gross error by coming to this world, by engaging with Eric. I felt regret. Eric. The thought of him made my blood boil and lips curl in distaste. How could he treat me so harshly? I felt angry when I thought of him, and I was angrier with myself for thinking he would like me for my true self.

I stayed curled up and lay on the rooftop all night; till I heard the city come back to life the next morning. Everything went about as if nothing had happened. I forced myself to stand up and I transformed again, to a "normal" human being. I decided to gather my notes, clear up my temporary place of stay and return to my planet that day. I could not bear to spend any more time without feeling a deep sense of remorse.

When I reached the apartment, the door was unlocked. Warily, I opened the door and called out. No response. I figured I had probably forgotten to lock it. I removed my shoes and put them into the shoe rack. Then I removed my jacket, folded it and placed it on the table. I was tired and I wanted to rest my eyes for a minute before returning home. I transformed back to my true self. I felt more comfortable in this skin. My skin. I walked to my bedroom and jumped, startled!

Eric was sitting at the edge of my bed, deep in thought. His elbows resting on his thighs and palms folded together as if praying, with his lips touching them. He noticed me and raised his head slowly.

I immediately began to transform into my human image."No, wait," he said, reaching out and holding my arm. I withdrew the transformation and looked at the place where he was holding my arm. It was a familiar touch but it felt cold. He sensed my discomfort and released my arm which dropped swiftly to my side. He held his hands up, as he always did when he was beginning an explanation.

"You don't have to hide anymore, Emy. I.. I'm sorry for behaving like that earlier. I've been here all night waiting for you to return but I felt too ashamed to come back to the rooftop after that. You gotta understand how I felt, I mean, I've never seen something- someone like you. You're out of this world."

"You're an alien for me, too, Eric. But I did not look at you like you were a repulsive creature - a monster i thought you were my friend." I said, angrily.

"I am!" He said, standing up. "I just wasn't prepared for.. that. I understand now. I want to understand. Who are you, Emy?"

I hesitated for a second but the earnest look in his eyes told me that he was genuinely interesting in knowing. So I told him the whole story. My past, my mission, my journey to Earth. And I ended it with:

"My mission is done. My time here is done. I am leaving today.

Now Eric looked offended. "What? That's all I was? A tiny part of your 'mission'?"

"No, Eric, you were my guide and friend." I said, without hesitation.

"Then don't go, Em." It was the first time he had called me that. "Stay. I swear I'll never treat you like that again. I was in shock, it was something unexpected but believe me when I say it doesn't change a thing. I still meant what I said last night and I'll say it again. I love you, Emy. I wouldn't doubt it for a second. I love everything about you. You're the only person, in the world, heck, the universe who still gives a shit about me. I can't lose that. I can't lose you."

He looked like a child trying to convince his parent that he needed a toy as though his life depended on it. However, he was asking for too much. I could not live here forever. When I tried to explain this to him, he refused to accept it.

"Listen, I'll give you all the information you need about Earth, okay? Everything I know. I'll take you wherever you want, show you whatever you want. Once you've sent back all the information to your planet, you can stay back, right? Come on, Em, you know you want to. You love it here!" He grabbed my shoulders, shaking me lightly, trying to emphasize his point. "I've seen the way your eyes twinkle when you watch a performance and the way you pin up your hair just before you dance. Even the way you lick the cream off your lips after you eat a cupcake for God's sake! You enjoy every bit of it. And I enjoy watching you enjoy it. So will you stay?" He grinned sheepishly.

I smiled. He was accurate about everything. But there was something he had failed to mention, so I continued:

"There's more. I felt happy when you showed me that rooftop for the first time. I felt excited when we rode the bus for the first time. I felt hurt and betrayed when you left last night and I felt the anger as well. I feel loved when you talk to me now, and tell me you accept me. I can feel things, Eric. And my face, my face does not go away when I transform back. It remains as it is now. I can only take this as a sign that there's more to being human than talking or dressing or even interacting with others. Being human is a life I want to live. I feel like a human being. So yes, Eric, I quite like being human, the ups and downs of life." He waited for the magic words. "I will stay."

Eric was overjoyed! He hugged me and spun me around. He was more excited than I was about the prospect. He said I could get a job, or go to a school. He opened a world of opportunities for me. For that I would be forever grateful to him. My final question is..

What do we look for?

I finally had an answer: To have a friend, a lover, a family. To be loved and accepted. To experience. To have emotions. To be human.