One never quite understands how much something means to you until it’s ripped from your life. You begin to feel cheated, torn apart and tossed aside like some old, worn down, chew toy your pet Growlithe was playing with. You tell everyone you’re okay, yet your groggy broken voice conveys a different message. You try to look fine, yet the sleepless bags under your eyes show that you aren’t. You’re just not the same after something like that happens to you. This ‘something’ was what Augustine Sycamore’s life was currently being propelled through.

He wanted to believe no one would notice, but alas they did. It showed in the way he had to hold himself back at the parade as he handed those five young heroes their god forsaken medals. He heard chants of freedom from the crowd and noticed the smiles of innocents. They were ecstatic that the terrible threat had been eradicated. The people were saved, and they had every right to be happy. Yet deep down inside Augustine’s heart was a disgusting mixture of infuriated, depressed and confused feelings. He was depressed that his best friend died, confused as to why he had to die, and infuriated at the fact that he did. They all collided together at once to make Augustine feel like he was about to be sick or pass out. Whichever one came first. Thank the lord he managed to get through that day with nothing happening. By the time he had made it back home all he could do was break down and cry.

If anyone took the time of day to watch Augustine, they would be able to see just how much he had cared for the team Flare Leader. How close of friends they were, and how much the they loved one another. Of course, Augustine would never publicly admit something as outlandish as love. They were both highly respected men after all. At the very least Lysandre was one rung from the top on the social ladder. An announcement of homosexuality between the two of them would have certainly ruined their social lives, much less the possibly of their careers going under. No that little nugget of information was kept tightly locked up and thrown into the closet as if it were Pandora’s Box. It was near obvious to anyone who observed their actions though.

Augustine knew almost exactly how Lysandre worked, what made him tick and how he acted emotionally. They could read each other as if they were walking on the same wavelength. They were able to pinpoint everything that was going on with the other by looking at his posture. Augustine was one of the only people to know about Lysandre’s rather saddening past. He knew what made him the way he was, and why he began to form the actually rather such intuitive morals and ultimately drove him to his untimely departure. He knew that the fiery redhead was once bullied, abused and mistreated. That his father was sent off to war, never to return to his family. As well as how his mother grew corrupt and devolved; turning to alcohol and drugs to soothe the pain of her now late husband. She began partaking of things that turned her from a once beautiful young lady to a decrepit old hag. He knew how this poor, innocent boy had to push through his life alone. That is, until the fateful day when the two met on the ferry to Sinnoh, where they would go to study in Snowpoint City.

According to Augustine, if you got to know him, Lysandre could be the most innocent of people in a one-on-one setting. He was gentle, kind, loving. Everything a man should be. At the very least that’s how he acted around the young professor. You could see it in how Augustine’s eyes lit up like the Prism Tower when Lysandre walked into his office, or how they walked out onto South Boulevard and down to Lysandre’s cafe to grab a hot espresso. They cared far too deeply for one another. When Lysandre was around, Augustine felt warm, safe, protected, and most of all, loved.

So, to have that feeling ripped from his life, to have the man he cared so deeply about gone, it was agony to say the least. He’d never wake up at his desk to the pungent smell of coffee grinds. Later on though-he does wake up to it. Never get to be held by those strong, warm arms. Never get to run his fingers through lusciously soft orange locks, or feel that wild beard tickle his face as their lips would press together. Never, never, never. All the happy feelings he once felt were gone, abolished, exiled from this planet to never return. Leaving his normally large and cheerful heart a hollow shell of what it once was.

In the end he could have potentially stopped this from happening. If only he had paid more attention to the signs, rather than spending all his time and efforts recruiting and helping out this group of kids and blowing all his time away on looking further into Mega Evolution. Granted, Lysandre always talked like that, about creating a beautiful world with no war, no crime, and no filth. It was quite understandable given how he grew up. He thought he could have talked sense into the elder male. He had done it before, more times than he should have had to.

The other option would have been to join him. He was given the chance to. Lysandre had pleaded with the professor multiple times, wanting him to join the team and become a top executive. It would give them the opportunity to live the way they wanted in their new, beautiful world. They would not have to hide their love or worry about how society would treat them. Augustine, of course, had to have his other plans. He had declined and brushed it off as if it were nothing. He had thought this was just another one of Lysandre’s mood swings.

The professor’s mind slowly warped this to somehow make it his fault. Could you blame him though? He vividly remembered the moments where he could have, SHOULD have said something. It was his fault for not stepping in when he knew things were at stake. It was his fault for not getting involved, his fault for not being good enough to him, his fault for not loving him enough, being there enough, saying it enough.

All his fault...

All his fault...

“All my fault...all my fault.”

The sudden kachunk of elevator doors closing, and a thick aroma of coffee snapped Augustine from his restless slumber. Once again he had managed to fall asleep at his oak desk. Dull lavender eyes frantically searched the royal blue room. He needed to know the source of that heavenly aroma. “Lysa-“ was all the professor managed to get out before he set his sights on a steaming cup of coffee just at the end of the desk. A yellow post-it note from his assistant stuck to the side.

“I got you your usual espresso. I would have woken you up but you were sound asleep and you’ve been looking as if you could use it. I’ve rescheduled your meeting with the board at noon to 3pm. I’ll be downstairs if you need anything. - Aroura”

“Ugh...” was the only coherent thing that emerged from Augustine’s throat. He lazily stuck the note to his lamp and looped a finger around the handle of his cup. A soft breath of air caused steam curls to dissipate while the professor attempted to cool down his drink. The white glass hit pink chapped lips and Augustine leaned gingerly back into his chair. Sleeping at a desk was severely damaging his back. He placed the mug back on the desk and adjusted his gaze to the picture beside it. It was an image of him and Lysandre back in their scholarly days. Memories flooded into his mind about cramming for exam’s, loud parties, and sharing a crowded dorm. Tears prickled at the corner of his eyes, only to be forced away by sheer will power.

A pair of large bony hands reached up and patted his cheeks in an attempt to snap him back into reality. “Get a hold of yourself Augustine.” The verbal scolding helped only slightly. “You have work to do. You mustn’t dawdle any longer. What’s in the past is in the past. Nothing you can do about it now.” A loud “ahem” filled the room as he cleared his throat. He adjusted his papers and scanned them repeatedly. He was to give a speech on all his finding of Mega Evolution to the science board. All his life’s work rested on this day turning out perfect. This was no time to be remembering past love interests, this was science. Science never waited for the weary.

After a fifth time through his papers he stood from his seat, taking a final sip of his espresso while searching for a clip of some kind. “Paper clip, paper clip, paper clip...” The man mumbled, rummaging through stacks of paper, pens and other various materials. He bent over to yank a few drawers open, smiling and let out a short “Ah-ha” in success, when he found what he was looking for. He was about to clamp his papers together when a glimmer caught his eye. In the bottom of the drawer lay a shiny orange pin, waiting to be found. He must have moved his head far enough for the sunshine pouring in from the window to bounce off it.

Long bony fingers reached into the drawer and retrieved the pin, pulling it close to his face. The curious look he had on was swiftly replaced with a light frown. The object he was staring at was none other than the pin Lysandre have given to him, back when the elder was persuading him to join Team Flare.

“Take it Augustine, please. I want you to have it just in case you do decide to join Team Flare.”

“Mon amoru.” Augustine whispered, gazing at the trinket in the shape of the Team Flare logo. He planted a small kiss on the pin. Lips flinched as they hit the cold metal. “I should have listened to you. I should have been able to see what you were telling me, all these years.” His body turned to slowly sit back in his chair, creaking under the weight.

“I should have realized how disgusting this world is.” The comment came out as a hiss. A balled fist hit the top of his desk once, twice, three times. Tears once again made their way into the corner of the professor’s eyes, and once again he had to push them away. No, crying wasn’t an option anymore. He had cried plenty up to this point. Now was the time to take action.

Augustine shot up from his chair, angrily walking over to the window at the far side of his office. Once dull eyes now filled with anger and disgust as he scanned South Boulevard. “Is this truly what you wanted Lysandre. Did you truly want a beautiful world? Where war didn’t have to happen, where filth never touched the face of the earth, where people didn’t have to die?” Ragged breaths filled the air as Augustine’s chest heavily rose up and down in attempts to calm down.

“You really were a genius Lysandre.” His voice lowered to a whisper once more while he peered back at the pin in his hand. “Truly one of the greatest minds our world has ever had the privilege to see.” Shakily he pulled the back of the pin off, holding the needle into the light. “I think... I’ll take you up on that offer.” The pin soon found its final resting place on the lapel of his lab coat. The spot it should have been months ago.

“Let’s work to make a beautiful world, together.”

* * *

Sycamore, Pokemon, and the background image used are all created by Gamefreak
Art, Story, and Profile created by User not found: semesam