The Sweetheart Kerubi
Owner: Frenchi

Age: 3 years, 11 months, 1 week

Born: August 10th, 2015

Adopted: 3 years, 11 months, 1 week ago

Adopted: August 10th, 2015

Pet Spotlight Winner
January 6th, 2018


  • Level: 15
  • Strength: 18
  • Defense: 10
  • Speed: 10
  • Health: 10
  • HP: 10/10
  • Intelligence: 27
  • Books Read: 26
  • Food Eaten: 7
  • Job: Unemployed

plucked from a hot grove
packaged for sale
it drips down the sleeve
gets under your nails

She calls herself the Saucerer. Sauces and marinades, jams and jellies, butters and preserves—you name it, she can make it. But these are no ordinary spreads; no, you see, there is magic afoot in her kitchen, for she is actually a powerful witch! ...Okay, well, that might be an overstatement. But she really is a witch, honest! And with an extra touch of love and magic in her pot, those sauces come out better than you could imagine.

Pots sizzle and bubble on every available surface. She moves deftly from counter to stove and back again. No need for burners; fire magic works wonders. The cranberries smell like they’re cooking down nicely. The tomatoes are ready to be joined by some fresh chopped basil—can’t add it too soon or the leaves wither and shrivel to nothing.

She slices the aromatic herbs with nothing but muscle memory, craning her neck to check on the carrots. Goodness forbid they get soggy on her watch! A twist of her unoccupied wrist snuffs out the flame, but—she bites her lip. This part requires some concentration. Just… float the pot over to the sink and—clang! Water sloshes over the edge as the pot smacks against the backsplash. Every damn time! That sink is closer than it looks. She swears up and down it moves each time she cooks, but everyone else insists her lack of depth perception is to blame.

Well, maybe one of these days she’ll get it right…

profile & story by Frenchi
art by ddeeric

Pet Treasure

Homemade Blackberry Jam

Homemade Raspberry Jam

Homemade Strawberry Jam

Homemade Rhubarb Jam

Homemade Orange Marmalade

Plum Marmalade

Pineapple Strawberry Marmalade

Cherry Marmalade

Mango Raspberry Marmalade

Orange Marmalade

Jar of Strawberry Curd

Jar of Grapefruit Curd

Jar of Orange Curd

Jar of Lemon Curd

Jar of Meyer Lemon Curd

Buckwheat Honey

Blueberry Honey

Common Bumbus Brand Honey

Fireweed Honey

Clover Honey

Red Bell Pepper

Orange Bell Pepper


Yellow Bell Pepper

Green Bell Pepper


Fresh Yellow Tomato









Ground Ginger

Ground Allspice

Ground Nutmeg

Ground Cinnamon

Ground Cloves

Dried Chives

Dried Dill Leaves

Dried Cilantro Leaves

Dried Mint

Dried Oregano

Sweet Butter

Peanut Butter

Almond Butter

Cinnamon Butter

Hazelnut Butter

Rum Extract

Almond Extract

Orange Extract

Lemon Extract

Mint Extract

Sour Cream


Mild Salsa

Medium Salsa

Hot Salsa

Balsamic Herb Marinade

Chipotle Lime Marinade

Signature Steakhouse Marinade

Tropical Island Marinade

Garlic Butter Marinade

Tortilla Chips with Pico de Gallo

Tortilla Chips with Salsa

Tortilla Chips with Mango Salsa

Tortilla Chips with Guacamole

Tortilla Chips with Bean Dip

Grapeseed Oil

Safflower Oil

Soybean Oil

Peanut Oil

Toasted Sesame Oil


Whole Sage Leaves




Whole Cinnamon Sticks

Whole Nutmeg

Whole Cardamom Pods

Whole Allspice Berries


Whole Star Anise

Whole Cloves

Whole Vanilla Beans


Wild Garlic

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