In spite of his more challenging traits, the Witness shows promise as a potential house pet. He is clever and well-spoken when he wishes to be and fastidiously clean, with a sardonic sense of humor and an eye for detail. Witness correctly identified this writer's antique watch as a fake upon meeting, stating that this writer's grandparents "got scammed back in 1945 'cause that ain't no real mid-century Rolecks." Upon initial interview with the Witness, this writer has determined that the ideal placement for this pet would be a single-person no-pet home. The ideal adopter ("Civilian Owner") should be an easygoing type who can handle the occasional intellectual jousting match. This writer has forwarded these suggestions to the SAI-WPISS Placement Co-ordinator.

All placements, past and present, have been listed below in chronological order. Although it is standard procedure for placements to be arranged via SAI-WPISS's Placement Co-ordinator rather than Adopt-R-Us, the reader will note that an exception has been made on this file.

Placements are assessed at the one month mark, the three month mark, the six month mark, the nine month mark and the one year mark.

Placement #1

First Month Assessment:
W██████, A███, 24, female. Adopted the Witness May 5, 2023. A quiet, single working professional with no other pets in the home. Witness seemed uninterested in the idea of leading a new life as a house pet, though the Civilian Owner initially found the Witness quite endearing. Witness was provided adequate space and enrichment, though he found the Civilian Owner's personal taste sub-optimal. Frequent arguments about finances and cleaning habits arose. Tensions rose further in the home when the paranoid, compulsive behaviors of the Witness began to cause significant sleep disturbance to the Civilian Owner. Civilian Owner, who understood the Witness's anxieties to be paranoid delusions rather than a genuine threat, made repeated attempts to convince Witness that his fears were "not real." Witness took insult to this and became increasingly agitated with Civilian Owner.

The relationship quickly soured. Witness began to torment the Civilian Owner, cutting up her favorite outfit and on one occasion soaking her phone in the sink. Witness was relinquished to Adopt-R-Us after three weeks due to the Witness feeling like she "didn't even own [her] own home any more."

Witness's only comment upon relinquishment was, "well that was fun while it lasted."

STRIKE 1 ISSUED

Remarks:
Alternative placement recommended.

RISK OF RECIDIVISM: Moderate

REPORTED SATISFACTION WITH PLACEMENT: 3/5

Placement #2

First Month Assessment:
M█████, B█████, 43, female. Adopted the Witness June 18, 2023. This Civilian Owner seemed quite knowledgable about the torrey species, and had five other torreys in her home. Placement Co-ordinator recommended this household on the grounds that having other pets present may help reduce the Witness's risk of recidivism by modeling healthy social behaviors. This placement appears to have only exacerbated the issue. Witness was mistrustful of the other pets in the home and did not integrate well into the household. Civilian Owner found Witness's natural suspicion towards others difficult to curb. Coarse demeanor of the Witness led to social rejection by other pets in the home. Witness remarked that "if L█████ J███ doesn't kill [him], these other pets might."

Significant issues arose between the Witness and a younger torrey after the latter made an offhand remark about the scar on the former's forehead and suggested that the Witness was the "missing link between torries and charlies." The Witness responded to this remark by biting the other torrey to the bone.

Witness was relinquished to Adopt-R-Us on the grounds that "torreys are supposed to be cute, not... whatever this is." No charges were laid. Reconstructive surgery for the victim is being arranged by and paid for by the Program as compensation to Civilian Owner.

When interrogated over the incident, the Witness simply replied, "talk shit, get bit."

STRIKE 2 ISSUED

Remarks:
Alternative placement tentatively recommended. Two strikes have been issued. Witness displays violent tendencies. Witness may not be well suited to the Program. Possibility of expulsion should be weighed heavily against Witness's performance in upcoming placement.

RISK OF RECIDIVISM: HIGH

REPORTED SATISFACTION WITH PLACEMENT: 2/5

Placement #3

First Month Assessment:
P███████, S█████, 26, female and P███████, D██████, 28, male. Adopted the Witness September 10, 2023. Newly married couple looking to adopt a pet as a "trial run" for having a child. Placement Co-ordinator hypothesized that two Civilian Owners may reduce the Witness's anxiety and lower his risk of recidivism. As Witness has failed to integrate with other pets in the past, a two-person, no-pet home appeared ideal.

Witness immediately took issue with the couple's tendency to infantilize him. Witness reported not feeling respected by Civilian Owners as an intelligent being and, perhaps ironically, took issue with being "treated like a pet." Lack of clothes, books, and other enrichment materials were all concerns reported by the Witness. Witness was disallowed from sitting at tables or accessing the refrigerator. Witness was frequently ignored when he spoke directly to Civilian Owners, because he was the "pet" and "pets shouldn't speak." Witness's only allowed access to food was via Civilian Owners: a steady diet of cat food, once in the morning and once at night. (When asked about this, Civilian Owner S█████ remarked, "that's what you're supposed to feed it, right?")

Witness's mental disturbances were not well understood by the couple, and often taken as a personal slight. Civilian Owners expressed the wish that Witness would act more like a "normal" pet and reported that the Witness is argumentative and frequently "talks back" to them. Witness complained numerous times of being treated like a thing and not a person.

Witness stole funds from Civilian Owners on multiple occasions to buy himself books and clothing, or to go out on the town. When asked to explain himself, the Witness expressed a desire to "feel like a person again." Witness reported on several occasions that the couple made him sleep in a ruffie house in the back yard. This writer was initially skeptical of this claim until a home inspection was conducted and the claim was confirmed to be true.

Witness was seized by Adopt-R-Us on the grounds of material neglect. Civilian Owner D██████ insisted that he didn't think the Witness would be "like, smart."

Witness expressed hope that the Civilian Owners never reproduce. No charges were filed in relation to the neglect and in exchange the theft charges were dropped.

Remarks:
Grounds for the strike were theft of funds; Witness described the issuance of this strike from the review board as "bullshit." This writer refrains from commenting directly on the matter. The Witness reports being sick and tired of the Program and told assessor to "just throw [him] in jail already." Pursuant to the board ruling, alternative placement not recommended. Per the terms of the Program, Witness has proven on three occasions to be ill suited to civil society and has failed to curb antisocial behavior. Expulsion process under way pending internal review.

RISK OF RECIDIVISM: VERY HIGH

REPORTED SATISFACTION WITH PLACEMENT: 1/5

Placement #4

First Month Assessment:
L███████, L███, indeterminate. Adopted the Witness December 24, 2023. Eccentric young adult looking to adopt a pet after recent bereavement. This placement occurred on accident due to clerical error at Adopt-R-Us and was not pre-approved by the Co-ordinator. Tactful attempts were made to convince the Civilian Owner to relinquish the Witness to Adopt-R-Us once the nature of the error was discovered. The Civilian Owner refused. Direct seizure was deemed too risky as no issues in the home were reported and seizure could blow cover. A plan was put in place to continue to monitor the Witness in lieu of seizure at the request of the Program Administrator. SAI agents continue to observe the Witness and Civilian Owner under cover as Adopt-R-Us social workers; this disguise is notably ineffective on the Witness, but the Civilian Owner is successfully fooled, granting opportunity for further assessment.

Witness is given free range of the home. No other pets are present in the home, reducing the risk of another bite incident exponentially. The home is oddly decorated, but well kept. Witness is given a room all to himself, with access to the kitchen and liquor cabinet (provided he drinks responsibly in the latter case). Witness remarks that he is "finally getting some proper respect around here."

Civilian Owner reports that the Witness initially tried to intimidate them with similar domineering behaviors as displayed in Placement #1. Witness attempted to destroy Civilian Owner’s clothing. Civilian Owner destroys their own clothing regularly in the name of the "goth lifestyle." Witness attempted to soak Civilian Owner’s phone. Civilian Owner’s phone is a Sokia. Additional adverse behaviors were responded to by the Civilian Owner with mild amusement, which reportedly dissuaded further theatrics. The current Civilian Owner has found creative solutions for the Witness's idiosyncrasies. Civilian Owner lacks funds for clothes and foods to suit the Witness's expensive tastes, and has taken to hand-sewing outfits for him and growing fresh vegetables in the community garden. Witness finds these offerings satisfactory.

Civilian Owner reports few genuinely concerning behavioral issues aside from occasional, short bouts of irritability and paranoia. Civilian Owner states that they "get" the Witness's mental disturbance and has urged the Witness to enter talk therapy because "that's what helped [the Civilian Owner] stop biting people." An SAI-affiliated therapist shall be recommended during a subsequent assessment in the event the Witness consents to treatment. In the meantime, Civilian Owner has managed the Witness’s anxiety through use of “calm down time” and a weighted blanket that they allege they have enchanted to be bulletproof. Civilian Owner understands the "delusions" of the Witness to be "subjectively real" and treats Witness's fears of persecution as genuine concerns. This has reduced Witness's anxiety considerably. Civilian Owner has nicknamed the Witness "Barney" and describes Witness as “funny” and a "little asshole" (in a non-pejorative fashion). Civilian Owner reports that they “wanted a little guy who could be [their] friend and that’s what [they] got.”

Witness was reluctant to speak to undercover agents at length during home assessment and appeared to be quite protective of Civilian Owner. Witness expressed concern that the SAI-WPISS was "gonna take [him] away again" if he said the wrong thing. Though guarded, the Witness appeared at ease in the home with plenty of access to enrichment materials such as books and hobby supplies. Witness describes the Civilian Owner as "all right" and reports that they are "crazy" (in a non-pejorative fashion) and "don't give a shit about normal people things." Witness added that he "kinda likes that." A mutual respect appears to exist between the Witness and Civilian Owner. Witness conceives of his current Civilian Owner as his "new boss." He reports that he is “trying not to screw this one up” and that “it’s nice to have a bed this time.” Job attendance still remains a concern, however problem behaviors reported at the one month mark are minimal. Civilian Owner is incredulous to the possibility of the Witness having a criminal past upon its suggestion and remains oblivious to SAI-WPISS involvement in their daily life.

Remarks:
In view of the success of this impromptu placement, this writer finds the Co-ordinator's previous methodology in assigning homes for this pet to be questionable. A request has been filed that the placement process be subject to internal review. This writer strongly recommends that the Witness remain in his current placement. Expulsion from the Program temporarily stayed on the grounds that the Witness continues to integrate well into everyday society.

RISK OF RECIDIVISM: Low

REPORTED SATISFACTION WITH PLACEMENT: 5/5