Information

Vegiac
Legacy Name: Vegiac

The Steamwork Kumos
Owner: Blythe

Age: 14 years, 5 days

Built: April 21st, 2010

Adopted: 14 years, 5 days ago

Adopted: April 21st, 2010

Pet Spotlight Winner
October 3rd, 2013

Statistics

• Level: 43
   
• Strength: 101
   
• Defense: 102
   
• Speed: 100
   
• Health: 101
   
• HP: 101/101
   
• Intelligence: 8
   
• Books Read: 3
• Food Eaten: 35
• Job: Unemployed

vegiac vej-Ä“-ak
1: noun
A vegan or vegetarian person who has celiac disease or is otherwise gluten intolerant.
2: noun
A person who is crazy for veggies.
3: name
A Steamwork Kumos that acts as a guide dog for Blythe, warning her if there are any animal products or gluten in foods she is offered.



What does it really mean to be a vegiac? It means you read a lot of labels at the grocery store. It means you learn to bring food with you when you travel. It means you have to quiz restaurant staff. It means you can't stick any bit of crap at the company picnic in your mouth. Do those things or risk serious intestinal distress.

But it also means that since you are paying such close attention to your diet, you'll probably make much healthier choices. That alone will make you feel better. It means you're going to discover the wonderful world of flavors, something sorely missing from most of the packaged crap that's so loaded with fat, sugar and salt that it tricks your tastebuds into thinking it has taste. It means eating real food. And even if you didn't like it before, you'll discover that cooking is a lot of fun! I've never been more obsessed with new foods, recipes and flavors than when I became a vegan and later found out I am gluten intolerant.

Here's my favorite recipe...try it with gluten-free pretzels (Glutino's pretzels are vegan) when you're feeling sorry for yourself and want to pretend like you can eat pretzels without getting sick or chose veggies if you want to kick the health-o-meter up to "bad ass."

Lime Jalapeno Hummus

Combine all ingredients in a food processor until smooth.

1 (25 ounce) can garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed
Juice of 2 small limes
3-4 tablespoons peanut butter (or tahini, whatever you have on hand)
5 fresh garlic cloves, minced
3 tablespoons pickled jalapeno peppers
4 tablespoons olive oil
1 bunch of fresh cilantro leaves
1/2 teaspoon cumin, or to taste
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes, or to taste
1/2 teaspoon salt, or to taste


Leaving a few things out of your diet doesn't have to mean you don't get to eat great food anymore! Ten years ago, I would have considered a frozen pizza washed down with a giant soda a sufficient dinner. Now, on any day of the week, I could be eating sweet potato curry with coconut rice, sweet chili tofu with balsamic green beans, broccoli and noodles with peanut sauce, brownies with chocolate hazelnut filling, pumpkin ice cream, chocolate chip pancakes with applesauce,... And it doesn't have to be hard or time-consuming. I have a full-time job. The last thing I want to do at the end of the day is slave over the stove for hours. I created this dip when I was craving a smoky umami flavor. If your idea of a wildly flavorful meal is adding salt and pepper to your buttered noodles, don't try this.

Aduki Bean Dip

Combine all ingredients in a food processor until smooth.

2 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons olive oil
3 tablespoons Bragg's Liquid Aminos (or tamari or wheat-free soy sauce)
5-6 shakes of liquid smoke
1/2 tablespoon molasses
2 tablespoons almond butter
2 (15 ounce) cans aduki beans, drained and rinsed
1 teaspoon onion powder
black pepper to taste


The one thing that sucks about being a vegiac? A lot of people think you're just being melodramatic or difficult. Plus, a lot of people don't actually know what it means, which can make for awkward encounters. For example, a friend visited a restaurant and asked the waitress if there were any vegetarian options. She responded with, "Sure! We have lots of dishes with just chicken." Or when a friend makes a dish and really wants you to try it, assuring you it's safe. After you have some and get sick, you find out there's no milk in it, but there's butter. Or there's wheat-containing soy sauce in the dip. Or there's "just a little" mayonnaise. Or the ever popular, "Can't you just pick it out/eat around it/pretend it's not there?"

Of course, once you've been to a couple of dinner parties where the only food you can eat is watermelon and potato chips, you'll learn pretty quickly to eat first or bring something safe for you that everyone can share.

This is what I take to the annual office Halloween candy potluck, because those people can suck back sugar like it's oxygen.

Peanut Butter Caramel Bites

Mix the following in a medium bowl:

4 cups crushed corn flakes (or rice chex or corn chex or the absolute best...Envirokidz Koala Crisps, like chocolate rice krispies, YUM! Really any kind of smallish cereal or largish cereal crushed a little works)
1/2 cup coconut flakes

Combine the following in a small saucepan, heat on medium, stirring constantly:

1/2 cup sugar
1 cup corn syrup
1 cup peanut butter

Once the caramel is smooth and begins to boil (this won't take long), remove from heat and stir in:

1 and 1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Pour caramel mixture over cereal mixture and stir to combine. Drop gobs into mini muffin tin or spread into a cake pan. Refrigerate for 30 minutes to set. Try not to eat them all in one sitting.


I always want to believe people when they say something they made is safe for me to eat, but I don't want to risk the stomach cramps and diarrhea if they are mistaken. And I also don't want to make a big deal out of it by asking to see every ingredient they used, exactly where said recipe was created (did it involve a glutenated toaster oven?) or grill them as to whether they really understand what vegan and gluten-free mean. No, I don't want to do that stuff. I'm a vegiac, not an uptight asshole. So, I normally just say, "No, thank you."

Fortunately, I don't have to anymore. Not since Isaac and the boys were kind enough to make and train Vegiac for me. Vegiac is a kind of guide dog. He is able to detect the faintest traces of animal products and gluten. Now, if someone offers me orange-glazed kebabs, Vegiac can discern if they are safe for me to eat without me even having to lift a finger. Since Vegiac came into my life, I've tried out several new restaurants and eaten over at many acquaintances' homes. I came away from every experience without a single stomach ache. It's a miracle! They even gave me Flaxseed. Not only is he a companion for Vegiac, he also grinds things for me, spices, chickpeas into flour, nuts, seeds, even coffee. Thanks, guys! Vegiac, I love you!


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