Dia de los Muertos has a minion!

Soul Guider the Lantern Ghoul

Hey! So, heres the deal: youre dead. Yes, I know, its shocking, everyones afraid. Do you want to scream? Go on, scream. Cry a little, there there, thats it--believe me, itll feel good to let it all out. No, youre not actually crying, but it certainly feels like it, doesnt it? I know, its a very unique feeling, being a ghost for the first time. I went through it, your great-grandparents went through it, everyones gone through it. Seriously, dont worry so much, everythings normal form here on out, alright?

So tell me about yourself. Whats your name? Whered you live, and whatd you do there? Whos going to miss you? Im sorry if these questions are a little heavy, but its actually important for you to remember the things that matter most, alright? Weve got a long journey ahead and you can only bring what you remember, so for the next few hours we are going to try and remember all of it, understand? No? Good, no one does, not at first.

See, as it turns out, you are tested at the end of your life. But its not a pass-fail--dont worry, youre not going to burn forever if you dont answer the questions properly. Alternatively, youre not going to grow wings and be handed a harp if you do answer correctly. Actually, its not even a proper test, its more like an essay. Just tell me about yourself while we are walking and, once we are both satisfied, I send you on your way. No, I dont know exactly what will happen to you after this. Oh, whoops, youre crying again. There, there, take a moment, sit down on that rock if you want. Its fine, weve got all the time in the world. Plus. It's the Land of the Dead right? It's like one giant party down there.

Feeling better? Cool. You wouldnt believe how normal this is--seriously everyone goes through something like this upon dying. Its funny--everyone plans for the afterlife, but no one expects that the first thing theyll meet is a talking rat, right? Dont worry, everyones as shocked as you are.

I probably should have led with all of this, but my name is Muertos. Its my job to get you from point A (being alive) to point B (being not alive) without any major incidents. Believe me, the last thing that either of us wants is for you to get bound to an object or a person, thats not fun for anyone. What happens then? Ghost stories, man, thats what happens then. Spooky haunting stuff. But Ive been doing this for a long time and Ive got a really good record, so just stick close to me and youll be fine.

Oh, no, more crying. Whats coming next? I honestly cant tell you for sure. All I know is that I will lead you to the Land of the Dead. Hopefully your ancestors will already have a party ready for yah. Ive been doing this job for centuries and all I know is that remembering your mortal life is relatively important for some reason or another. My guess? That way you'll always be remember the past and keep the memories as alive as you once were.

But seriously though, start talking.


Profile by Integrity
Art by Keshikins
Overlay by hagane
Story by myself and written by Juliet
Fonts by 1001 fonts
Profile lyrics/text from "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult

Our times have come
Here but now they're gone
Seasons don't fear the reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain..we can be like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper
Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper
We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper
Baby I'm your man...

Valentine is done
Here but now they're gone
Romeo and Juliet
Are together in eternity...Romeo and Juliet
40,000 men and women everyday...Like Romeo and Juliet
40,000 men and women everyday...Redefine happiness
Another 40,000 coming everyday...We can be like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper
Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper
We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper
Baby I'm your man...

Love of two is one
Here but now they're gone
Came the last night of sadness
And it was clear she couldn't go on
Then the door was open and the wind appeared
The candles blew then disappeared
The curtains flew then he appeared...saying don't be afraid
Come on baby...and she had no fear
And she ran to him...then they started to fly
They looked backward and said goodby...she had become like they are
She had taken his hand...she had become like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper


- Blue Oyster Cult