Haggis
Legacy Name: Haggis

Description

The Wild Haggis (Haggis scoticus) is a quadrupal mammal found only in the north-west of Scotland. It is unknown how it is related to other mammals.

Appearance: covered in a thick fur of various shades of brown or grey, with longer tufts of hair sprouting from the top of the skull. Male haggises tend to have longer and thicker tufts of hair than females, although otherwise the sexes are identical in size and appearance. A full-grown haggis can measure 30 to 40 cm in length and up to 30 cm in height. They weigh an average of 15 kg (44 lbs), although one specimen, caught in 1994, weighed a staggering 37 kg (81 lbs).

Habitat: mountainous regions in the north of Scotland. Haggises prefer large, open areas covered with grass or heather, although occasionally seen in forests.

Diet: herbivore, feeding mainly on grasses and the leaves and berries of heather.

Reproduction: bears litters of up to 10 live young. Usually one litter per year, in years with plenty of food two. Pups stay with the mother for 10-12 weeks.

Trivia: The haggis is hunted for its meat, used in the dish of the same name which is considered a delicacy. Haggis numbers have dropped considerably since the 1960's when haggis (the dish) began to gain popularity worldwide. This is thought to be due to Scottish migrants beginning to take an interest in this “taste from home”, or perhaps due to the rise of popularity for celebrating Burns' night with a haggis being the main course. Haggis have been hunted for their meat throughout the centuries, but hunting has increased in the 20th century to comply with the demand for haggismeat from abroad.
Despite much public protest, the Scottish Government issued the Wild Haggis Conservation Act in 2007 to limit the amount of haggis shot by hunters. The decline in population has stagnated since then, although numbers are still an estimated 80% less of what they were half a century ago. Poaching is common and a threat to the population. There have been attempts to keep haggises in captivity as a source of haggismeat without further endangering the wild population, but this has not been succesful. They require so much space that keeping them indoors is not economically viable, and they have a tendency to escape outside enclosures which makes them difficult to keep.

BANG!

The sharp sound of a gunshot cruelly breaks the silence of the early morning, rolling off the hill and startling all the creatures in the vicinity. Directly after the noise five or six brown, furry creatures shoot in all directions, away from the source of the sound. A man in a camouflage suit quickly jumps up and takes aim again. BANG!

Hysterical panting can be heard as a strange little creature gallops past. Macan the haggis is running to safety as fast as his stumpy little legs can carry him. He knows they're coming his way, that they're coming after him. He bounces from rock to rock, under bushes and through them, paying only just enough attention to his surroundings to avoid full-speed collision with some of the larger boulders on his path. He has no thought in his head other than fleeing, getting as far away as quickly as possibly. Unfortunately, haggises were never built for speed, and certainly not over long distances. Steadily, Macan's run becomes slower and slower, his breathing becomes more laboured with every step, until finally he ducks under a bush of heather to catch his breath. He collapses and rolls onto his side, gasping for air that cannot flow into his lungs quickly enough. The bush is hardly big enough to cover him and hide him from view.

They had already caught Lòn, he was sure of it. Lòn never was that fast. They'd probably caught Biadh too; she was nowhere to be seen, and he was pretty sure they had both started running in the same direction at the first sound of the hunters. She must have been taken down with that second gunshot. He wondered where the others were, how many had been taken this time. How many of them were grazing on that hillside before the first shotgun had been fired? He was trying to count them inside his head. Lòn, Biadh, Dinneir, Suipear, Trà th Bìdh, himself, Bìdeagan, Reamharan, and he was pretty sure there were some more further up the hill, but those probably were safe. Macan had seen it all before; he and his fellow haggises nibbling peacefully on some bushes on the hillsides, then suddenly a load BANG! and half the group would panic and flee, and the other half would stay perfectly still. Dead.

He tends to avoid feeding in groups for this reason, but in a harsh year with not much food he has no choice but to join the others around the few suitable places for grazing. Macan is quite old for a haggis; most hardly live to see their sixth spring. He doesn't remember a year without shootings. Sometimes he can hear a gunshot from far away, the low sound rolling over the hilltops like thunder. Sometimes it is a close brush with mortality, like today. If only haggises had been granted better eyesight and hearing: then they would notice those hunters much sooner, before they would be able to get a good view and aim their shotguns. But alas, haggises were never that blessed; only cursed with meat considered a delicacy among humans. A few years ago, maybe five or six, there was a sharp drop in the number of attacks, but in the past year more and more attacks have taken place. Particularly during winter, although he can't understand why; the terrain would only be more inaccessibly for humans due to the weather.

Haggis' panting takes a long time to slow down. His ribcage jumps up and down with every breath he takes, accompanied by a hissing noise as the air tries to find a way into his old lungs. It is almost the only sound that can be heard. Almost the only sound; except for the soft creaking of heavy boots finding their way uphill, followed by a sharp click.

BANG!

Address To A Haggis

by Robert Burns

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o' need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn,
they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve,
Are bent lyke drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
“Bethankit!” 'hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him ower his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro' bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' heads will sned,
Like taps o' thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,
Gie her a haggis!

Recipe for vegetarian haggis

Ingredients
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 small carrot, finely chopped
5 fresh mushrooms, finely chopped
1 cup vegetable broth
1/3 cup dry red lentils
2 tablespoons canned kidney beans - drained, rinsed, and mashed
3 tablespoons ground peanuts
2 tablespoons ground hazelnuts
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 1/2 teaspoons dried thyme
1 teaspoon dried rosemary
1 pinch ground cayenne pepper
1 1/2 teaspoons mixed spice
1 egg, beaten
1 1/3 cups steel cut oats

Directions
1. Heat the vegetable oil in a saucepan over medium heat, and saute the onion 5 minutes, until tender. Mix in carrot and mushrooms, and continue cooking 5 minutes. Stir in broth, lentils, kidney beans, peanuts, hazelnuts, soy sauce, and lemon juice. Season with thyme, rosemary, cayenne pepper, and mixed spice. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, and simmer 10 minutes. Stir in oats, cover, and simmer 20 minutes.
2. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Lightly grease a 5x9 inch baking pan.
3. Stir the egg into the saucepan. Transfer the mixture to the prepared baking pan. Bake 30 minutes, until firm.

Recipe taken from Allrecipes.com.