Information

opiate
Legacy Name: opiate

The Sweetheart Ghostly
Owner: toilet

Age: 12 years, 5 months, 3 weeks

Born: November 6th, 2011

Adopted: 12 years, 5 months, 3 weeks ago

Adopted: November 6th, 2011

Statistics

• Level: 16
   
• Strength: 41
   
• Defense: 41
   
• Speed: 40
   
• Health: 40
   
• HP: 10/40
   
• Intelligence: 51
   
• Books Read: 51
• Food Eaten: 0
• Job: Unemployed

*takes a sip of coffee*
...Step one, we admitted we were..... Omg, what am I doing up here and why are there so many people
...and they will materialize before you are halfway done oh shit, we are on the promises already? I forgot what I wanted to say...this is why they you not to rehearse ...

Thankyou readers for helping me get this meeting started, now for why we are here! My lead tonight is Valerie, she's always been here early to set up and is very active, I'm sure you all know her! She's celebrating her one year anniversary with us tonight, so if you give her your undivided attention, I'm sure she can tell you something to get you through the next twenty-four hours! I give you Valerie!

Hello family, like the chairperson said my name is Valerie, can we start tonight by saying the serenity prayer?
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
My name is Valerie and I'm an alcoholic.
"Hello Valerie!"
My sobriety date is August 12, 2013. I have a sponsor and a homegroup. The big book tells me to tell you in a general way, what it used to be like, what happened, and what I am like today

First of I would love to stand here and tell you guys that my childhood didn't play apart in who I am today, but I would be lying. It's evident because almost every story I've heard has the same beginning... That's why the big book tells us to share what it used to be like. It's important. The pain, the laughter, the exciting moments as children paved our path as adults -and the way we learned to deal with trauma- are why we sit in these rooms today. My childhood was my childhood. I can't tell you I ever went hungry, even the times I was put on punishment -when the paddle beatings didn't work- I still was fed bread and water! My parents loved me. And they did the best they could, especially my mother. She raised all four of us, my twin sister and two younger brothers, by herself. My father was diagnosed with cancer when I was very young. His leg ended up paralyzed because they had to cut a tumor off his sciatic nerve. My sister and I were molested at a very young age, up until we were young adults. I allowed it to go on longer than she, but I think it affected her worse. I think that's what caused the screwed up way I viewed myself and others as a child. I was insecure (but then again who wasn't?) I expected everyone to treat me like that man did for so many years. And they didn't, obviously. I was searching for something, and to this day I'm not sure way it was. I wanted all the attention and affection of my peers. I dressed as a tomboy, I got great grades, and I always did what I was supposed to do. I hung around the right and wrong crowds, the girl who everyone knew... I never had a "best-friend" I relied on my sister for hers. In middle school there were kids having sex, smoking, stealing, drinking, cheating...those were the kids I hung around with. They didn't mind my goody good self much, they always had the homework answers, Haha!

I really didn't get involved with boys until 16, when I took my first real drink. I can remember it was a 40oz of corona and I remember thinking ok Val, drink all of this, show them that you can be cool, keep it together, stay classyI ended up falling head over heels for a 22yr old man, and ultimately traded my virginity for the cold beer! I thought this man really cared about me, there was one cold one left and he gave it to me. After that I was heartbroken because, much to my surprise, he never tried to get into contact with me ever again...until about three years later. After that I used alcohol as an escape from reality, I didn't realize then what I was doing. The constant parties and hookups to fill that imaginary void inside myself. I don't want anyone to feel sympathy for me. No one held a gun to me and told me to drink, it was in my own free will. The future endeavors I put myself through are because of my choices and my decisions. I'm standing here today because alcohol and all the other substances alter me into a monster. I can not drink because I don't "drink responsibly" I got over board and obsess over alcohol, to the point where if I'm not the last one drinking and the first one drinking in the morning I'm missing out on something. I drank to get drunk, flat out wasted. There was no other reason to drink if I wasn't going to be trashed. And the list of things I did to get ahold off alcohol is humiliating. I stole from my family. Stealing money from my mother's purse, selling my brothers video games. The alcoholic mind told me I was still a good sister because I didn't steal the games they still played. My sister and I were sneaky like that. I believe she qualifies for this program, but she is still searching for something out there. I'll be here if she ever decides to join me. I was a horrible person. I can't imagine the pain my mother felt, I owe everything I have and the person I am because of her. The gratitude I have for her can't be put into words. I didn't even see the downhill spiral I was falling into. Obviously something is wrong when you're taking home 800$+ every two weeks but you're phone is off, you're car and insurance isn't paid. Alcohol wasn't the problem -in my mind- it was the solution. I eventually lost it all, obviously. I was turning into an angry person, someone who felt entitled to things.

I'm going to try and go through this part quickly because I believe the important part of leads is not all the horrible things we've done and experienced, but the person we are today, thanks to this program, is. Eventually things got so bad my father locked me and my sister in the house because our "room was dirty." Obviously today I know that it was because of the fear that he was losing his only two daughters to poison was the reason. Now my sister just got her unemployment check and our ride is in the driveway...we were going to find a way outta that house. I don't know if anyone had ever "fast cleaned up" meaning shoving everything into the closet, dirty clothes with clean clothes, garbage and all. Even after all our hard work, he still wouldn't let us out! So I preceded to call the police on him. They said he needs to let us go, and we did... my sister even said we will never be coming back! I had to show them I knew what I was doing and I could live without them!! I'm going to stop right there and tell you how incredibly stupid I was for being such a selfish brat. I never came back for a very long time. Unless you count Thanksgiving... only because of the joke I would get a present (money). It made perfect sense to me at the time that holidays, all if them, I would receive money, duh! Now I left a beautiful home to live on the streets. Living in homes where raids were common, sleeping on couches in the basement, and so on. I sold my body and stole to get my alcohol. It was no longer that sweet friend I thought it was, but it turned into a need. When I want drinking I was thinking about drinking. When I was drunk I was thinking about how to get drunk later. Eventually I ended up in a squatter home. No running water or heat. Even sure pizza out of the dumpster. I told myself it was safe, it was winter so the pizza froze before bacteria and germs got a chance to form. I found myself tricked by a man and was he's against my will. This is where I was raped and beaten daily. He parades me around to his friends. Made sure to keep me nice and drunk though.. one day he beat me so bad the cops were called by another man

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