Information

Eji
Legacy Name: Eji

The Common Experiment #404
Owner: Pureflower

Age: 9 years, 5 months, 2 days

Born: November 24th, 2014

Adopted: 9 years, 5 months, 2 days ago

Adopted: November 24th, 2014

Nominate Pet for Spotlight

Statistics

• Level: 17
   
• Strength: 30
   
• Defense: 12
   
• Speed: 10
   
• Health: 10
   
• HP: 10/10
   
• Intelligence: 50
   
• Books Read: 29
• Food Eaten: 2
• Job: Candy Maker

She gave up on the idea of owning a laptop years ago. Every computer she touches instantly displays a 404 message.

She wakes up two hours late. Again. The face of her digital alarm clock is a black square despite the fact that the clock is only two days old. She groans and stumbles into the kitchen to check the time on the wall clock. Magic couldn't get her to work on time today. She mutters a curse and grabs a couple of apple doughnuts with sprinkles on her way out the door. The stupid clock will retire to the small appliance graveyard when she gets home.

Walking to work is always a hazard for a Subetan with bad eyesight. She stumbles over an uneven patch of sidewalk, spilling the contents of her purse in all directions. She scrambles to pick up the assortment of taffy candies she always carries as a group of naughty popokos dashes in to take their share. Sweets are her consolation for constant bad luck.

One of the youngsters has a mischievous Digger with muddy paws and a wagging tail. The little canine chomps down on Eji's day planner, running in the direction of the park as his young owner screams his name.

Eji pursues the minion over grass and concrete as he crosses the basketball court and tramples a flower bed. She finds the Digger earning a good scolding from his owner, her tidy day planner a soggy square floating in the fountain.

It will take hours to copy out her schedule for the month again. She tosses the ruined book into the nearest metal trash can, snatching a chewy caramel from her purse and popping it into her mouth as the office comes into view.

Her boss is a velosotor who always wears little bow ties that make him look ridiculous. Today's selection is a lurid shade of aquamarine with yellow polka dots.

"I have to wonder if you're happy here, Eji. Your work is fine but you're frequently late and there was that incident with the copier last month." She watches enviously as he picks apart a chocolate scone, popping the flaky pieces into his mouth. "Ever since your vacation to Darkside and your transformation, you've been...different."

Visiting the zapper had been a bad idea. She must have breathed in too many noxious fumes at the hotel or something, because her old, sensible self would have never taken such a foolish risk. Her life had certainly never been this complicated as a terracoon.

"You've got talent but I can't have any more mishaps before the closing of the Subeatique account. I think it would be best if you took the rest of the week off."

The thought of missing her chance to work on the biggest account of the year makes her feel as if she's swallowed a Thornside. She wants to say she'll return to Darkside or swallow the cheapest elixir she can find but she knows this is impossible. It will take her three months to pay off the damages she's caused in the past three weeks.

Subetans she has worked with for years watch her warily as she approaches the front door. She does not see the cart full of paper stacks until she runs into it. The tigrean pushing the cart growls away her offer to help clean up.

Eji digs through her purse, coming up with a piece of key lime taffy to chew as she walks. It's nearing the lunch hour but she just doesn't feel like going home for the bag she forgot to grab on her way to work. She goes back to the park instead.

The line at the hot dog vendor's cart is alarming. She turns to a vending machine instead. A handful of tokens gives her a chocolate bar, a mallarchy-shaped sugar cookie, and a bag of banana gummies.

She takes her time walking home, just enjoying a fine spring day and the flowers coming into bloom. She's nearly hit by a red convertible as she crosses the street to her apartment. Smoke curls out the nostrils of the golden mahar behind the wheel.

"Watch where you're walking, mutant.

She wishes for the strength of a battle-hardened warrior to teach manners to such rude Subetans. Unfortunately, Eji cannot even defeat Buttwing Bomber. She ducks her head and hurries into the building as the mahar takes off with a squeal of his tires.

Happi comes trotting up to Eji as she walks in, bleating a greeting. The little goat never fails to live up to her name. She stays at her owner's side as Eji takes the useless alarm clock in hand.

Eji's backyard looks like some sort of tribute to the Recycle Beast with great stacks of broken toasters, glitched DVD players, and far too many alarm clocks smashed by a frustrated paw. The hammer on her bedside table is chipped with use.

The long afternoon hours are a cavernous gap of boredom to be filled. She plays a few games of solitaire, never managing to fill her four stacks as the cards are always stacked against her. She gives in to Happi's begging for a game of tug-of-war, quickly losing her grip on the rope, much to her minion's delight. Happi prances around the room, making happy little bleating sounds of victory.

The evening meal can never come too quickly. Eji is the sort of cook capable of burning soup which is why she prefers to mix up a bowl brimming with cookies, gummies, soft candies and crumbs of chocolate cake. She tops the bowl off with a juicy slice of strawberry rhubarb pie.

She loses her balance on her way to the TV room, sending treats scattering all over the carpet. By the time she has rebuilt her sugar mountain, Happi has made short work of the colorful mess. Happi is a miniature goat with a full appetite.

They each have their spot on the couch for watching TV. Happi is well trained to work the remote and will tap the power, channel, or volume buttons at a signal from Eji. They tune in for Centropolis Scoop to get the latest news and settle on the popular game show Feli Feud while they await their mutual favorite show.

The storm strikes as the opening credits for Darkside Detective roll. Eji does not even get a view of handsome Detective Tele's face before the power goes out. They keep their seat until the first round of hail begins to clatter against the windows. The tornado sirens start up as Eji picks up Happi and makes for the basement.

A small lantern gives them a circle of buttery light, allowing Eji to root out the small bag of peanut butter cups she keeps for such occasions.

She loses track of time, greatly relieved when the bulb overhead flickers to life and gentle rain begins to drum the roof. Happi beats her upstairs, giving a grumpy grumble as the show's final scene cuts to the end credits. They must settle for an hour of Stories from the Healer's Abode and wait until next week to get their fill of the daring telenine who works to keep the streets of Darkside safe.

At least the house is still standing.

Credits:

Profile coding by Bug
Story by Pureflower
Background from pixabay
Font from Google Fonts
One thousand TC items achieved 02/26/22!

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