Nostalgic Devonti
Fleece Navidad: *adjusts lapel microphone* Testing. Testing. Can you hear me? *shifts in his seat and takes a sip of water* MEMEMEMEMEMEMEME. *Takes another sip but this time, gargles the water noisily and proceeds to spit it into the cup of his co-host before inspecting his own reflection in the camera glass* You are fabulous. Such a handsome sheepy-boy. *mutters* Alright, let's get ready to sell this s---
Goat Minion: BAA. BAA. BAA.
Fleece: AHEM YES HELLO I AM SHEEP. Yes, Oscar-winning sheep Fleece Navidad! You may know me from such films as "You Can't Milk a Ram," "The Making of My Sweater," and "Have You Any Wool: A Story of Farmland Poverty." Goat, m'boy, do you know what I love about the holiday season?
Goat: Baa.
Fleece: HA HA HA HA. Yes, I'm certainly a fan of those, too! But what I really adore is the MUSIC!
Goat: Baa.
Fleece: ME AS WELL. IT TAKES ME BACK, back to those days when I was a little lamb. I knew Mary back then!
Goat: Baa.
Fleece: Yes, the very same! Everywhere that she went, I was sure to go.
Goat: Baa.
Fleece: But enough about that! Let's talk about CHRISTMAS MUSIC. More specifically, let's talk about FLEECE NAVIDAD: THE COMPILATION! This heartwarming set features over 600 hours of classic holiday favorites on two CDs, with such well-loved carols as "Goat Tell it on the Mountain," "Dachshund Through the Snow," "All I Want for Christmas is Ewe," "Put Hay in my Manger," and "Deer-est Santa."
Goat: Baa.
Fleece: Yes, this incredible compilation truly has it all! Say, Goat, do you have a favorite song?
Goat: Baa.
Fleece: You're in luck! You'll find that one as well, along with hundreds more, including "Old Toy Grains," "Shake Hands with Santa Claws," and "God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Hen!"
Goat: Baa.
Fleece: YES, get 600 hours of unbeatable holiday entertainment for only twenty-five installments of $12.25! That's right, just twenty-five installments of $12.25 and you'll own both albums, "Gold," and "Frankincense!"
Goat: Baa.
Fleece: ...BUT WAIT, THERE'S "MYRRH!"
Goat: Baa.
Fleece: HA HA HA HA. It's true, act now, and we'll throw in a third album, "MYRRH," for absolutely FREE! Just pay shipping! TWO HUNDRED additional hours of nostalgic yuletide hits, including "Here Comes Santa Cows," "It Came Upon a Midnight Steer," "The Duckcracker Suite," and "A Great Pig Sled," FREE! You just cover $59.99 in additional shipping and handling fees!
Goat: Baa.
Fleece: Yes, and the kids will all love the hip-hop single hidden track--
There is a crackle of static as the station goes off the air for the night. You sigh with with a mixture of relief and regret -- what was that 800 number to call? You'll never remember -- and then hit the power button on the remote. Wriggling your feet into your fluffy slippers, you gently heave yourself off of the couch and head down the garland-strewn hall. You pause a moment in the doorway. Did you remember to feed the reindeer? Oh yes, yes, you did. Shined the skids on the sleigh? That, too. Magical bag packed full of toys? Yes, and resting on top of it is the naughty and nice list. You're all set for tomorrow. It's going to be a busy day, and now it's time to get some rest. You close the bedroom door behind you and then quietly wriggle into bed so as not to disturb the missus.
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