Information



Humility
Legacy Name: Humility


The Angelic Kora
Owner: Riu

Age: 8 years, 6 months, 2 weeks

Born: July 6th, 2013

Adopted: 8 years, 6 months, 2 weeks ago

Adopted: July 6th, 2013

Statistics


  • Level: 36
     
  • Strength: 58
     
  • Defense: 22
     
  • Speed: 12
     
  • Health: 20
     
  • HP: 20/20
     
  • Intelligence: 50
     
  • Books Read: 38
  • Food Eaten: 0
  • Job: Store Manager


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hu·mil·i·ty


a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness

This is me

With my imperfections

with my knowledge

with my inexperiences

with my pain

with my illnesses

with my doubts, fears and worries

this is me

at the best I can

with my love

with my trust

with my truth

with my life

with everything I have inside

this is me.

Accept me or not.


-x-
You think its okay to treat someone in a cruel manner but if it was you, you'd also fall down and shatter.
-x-

It all started when I was a child. The words traveled through my mind, all around it's how I grew. With words of abuse that were untrue. What could a small child like me do? I started to believe I deserved it.

As I grew it became my sister, the words echoed in my heart, why did she treat me this way too? I felt unlovable as if it were wrong for me to live, it continued for years until I said "that's the end I'm through with you". But the words didn't leave my mouth, I kept silent and hurt from within. I lost my best friend and it was never the same again.

I tried and tried to find someone who'd care, I wanted to feel loved by others as well. I became close to a friend and of course fights happened, her words lingered in my head "I saved your life long ago but I should have let you die". It hurt deep inside, the words are still alive all because I cut ties, She was toxic and cruel I had to say goodbye.

I found a lover, someone I thought would love me. He never understood how my mind worked. How else would I think but negatively? That's all I had known. I pushed him away when I lost our child, I was losing the only relationship left with my sister all at the same time. He never understood how someone you love could hurt you so much, but I knew, I carried inside all those years. I was told forgiveness always heals. So why does it still hurt?

Countless times I'd say it's my fault, "I deserve this! I do!" But it was always untrue. I try to stick up for myself now and try to push through but there is always someone above me telling me "no, don't do it, stay quiet, back down."But why should I listen?

Love myself; I had to learn. I could no longer stand being abused. Verbally, physically and emotionally too.

But I had no voice before, there was always someone yelling down at me. I felt so small and still I do... because now there is another who tells me new things, I'm a bad mother, I'm a horrible person, I ruin everything. Over and over I hear the words linger, my heart is full of hurt and yet I try to continue to push through. I almost gave up, thought to take my life again.. maybe I shouldn't be here, like they've all said and shown. I'm worthless, I'm nothing, I don't deserve anything. No one cared before so why should they now?

The words were said, the hurt was done yet no one would stop them they'd tell me in secret "it's untrue, you're loved! You're good!" But I didn't need pity. I needed someone who'd stand up for me too. A true friend who'd say "enough is enough, you're wrong! That's not right! That's very untrue!" But nothing was said and all over again the thoughts lingered in my head.

I choose to rely on myself but sometimes I fail. I can only take so much until I break. I'm fragile, I'm human, I've been through so much too. But I will never treat anyone like you all treated me. Deserve it or not I still have empathy I wouldn't hurt you the way YOU'VE hurt me. I will never be like that, I will always be me.
This is me in all of my humility.

Credits:
Writing by Riu

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