Llewyn has a minion!

Ulysses the Snooty Kitty


The Glacier Lain
Owner: Balloon

Age: 5 years, 2 months, 1 week

Born: June 12th, 2014

Adopted: 5 years, 1 month, 1 week ago

Adopted: July 10th, 2014

Pet Spotlight Winner
September 8th, 2018


  • Level: 43
  • Strength: 109
  • Defense: 107
  • Speed: 107
  • Health: 108
  • HP: 108/108
  • Intelligence: 101
  • Books Read: 79
  • Food Eaten: 21
  • Job: Pawnbroker

profile and story by Balloon • background photos from 'Inside Llewyn Davis'

Pawn Broker at Pawn Shop

So, I’m Llewyn.

That’s one word, L-L-E-W-Y-N.  It’s Welsh, because my dad’s family was Welsh.  (Mom was Italian.  I’m from New York City, where everyone’s from somewhere else.)  “Llewyn” means. . . well, I’m not really sure what it means.  But “Llew” means light, and there’s a hero from Welsh mythology named Lleu Llaw Gyffes, so there’s that.  He had rotten luck: his mother didn’t want him, then his wife cheated on him and tried to kill him. 

I know all about rotten luck.  You know how they say, “There’s always someone worse off”?  Well, I’m that person. . . or I used to be.  It’s not like I didn’t try to do the right thing, most of the time.  It’s just that every time I made a choice, it turned out to be the wrong choice.  I mean, yeah, I’m a jerk, I get it.  I fully admit it.  I’m abrasive and grouchy and selfish and whatever other adjectives you wanna throw at me.  But I’d be nicer if people were nicer to me, and if the world wasn’t dead set against me.

This girl I know said I’m like King Midas’s brother: everything I touch turns to—uh, crap.  That wasn’t the word she used, but it’ll do.

Anyway.  I’m a musician.  Folk music, specifically, and most of my friends are folk musicians too.  That may be one of the reasons my luck is so bad.  I mean, yeah, it’s the sixties, folk music’s hot—but folk musicians, we go with the flow, right?  We aren’t, uh, responsible.  And I guess I’m the least responsible of the irresponsible.  The one who had one-night stands instead of relationships, the one who never worried about consequences.  The one who was always scrambling to fix the damage those consequences caused.

And that’s how I met Al Cody.

I need money, and so does he, so we both end up in a mutual friend’s recording session, singing backup for him.  (Said mutual friend happens to be the husband of Ms. King Midas, who happens to be the reason I needed money in the first place, but that’s not the point.)  So I come in the studio where Jim—that’s the mutual friend—is recording this stupid novelty song he wrote, and there’s this guy with him.  Looks like a cowboy holding a guitar, a cowboy who’s too tall for the stool he’s folded up on.  Jim tells me his name’s Al Cody.  (It’s not, actually, but I didn’t find that out until later.)

Al’s pretty dorky looking, and even dorkier sounding when we start singing.  His voice is deep, real deep, and Jim has him doing all the dumb sound effects in his dumb song.  But it might be a nice voice singing something else, like Al might be nice looking if his nose and mouth weren’t so big, and he wasn’t so lanky and awkward, and he didn’t wear a stupid cowboy hat all the time.

Later, though, I saw the cover of the solo album Al recorded and couldn’t sell, and he wasn’t wearing the hat there, and his ears are even bigger and dorkier looking than his nose is, so it turns out he actually looks better in the hat.  Anyway, so Al’s a dork, but he’s all right, and I’ve worn out my welcome everywhere else, so I end up crashing on his couch for a couple nights.

And this weird thing happens.  I learn more about him, like what a nice guy he is, too nice for his own good, really.  Not only do I start realizing Al’s nice, I start realizing he’s not so bad looking after all.  He’s got these sexy dark eyes, and his mouth is so expressive even though it’s big, and he’s skinny but he’s muscular too.  By the time he kicks me out—well, okay, he didn’t actually kick me out because he’s too nice for that, but I could tell he wanted me to leave—by the time I leave, I like Al Cody, a lot.  (Although by then I’d found out his name is really Arthur Milgrum, and he’s Jewish and comes from New Jersey, and he's pretty much living a lie.)

But everything I touch turns to crap, remember?  So even though I like Al, I leave without putting up a fight, because I don’t want him to end up sick of me like everyone does, sooner or later.  I’m pretty sure I won’t ever see him again, unless I run into him by accident or something.

Things don’t turn out that way, though.  I have to go back to Al’s place a few days later, because I get into some trouble—okay, so I get beat up, and I don't have anywhere else to go.  And Al takes me in, ‘cos like I said he’s too nice for his own good. . . and something happens.  Those couple of days I'm there and Al takes care of me, I guess I kind of fall for him.  I’d fooled around with guys before, a few times, so that isn't what surprises me.  The surprising thing is that I really care about him, and when I leave again, I miss him.  I miss him bad.

But I stay away for a year, this time, because I go back in the Merchant Marines. That's what I did before the whole musician thing.  It’s what my dad did too, and I disappointed him when I didn't stick with it. But I go back in ‘cos I'm pretty much out of options.  No money left, nowhere else to go, and I'm afraid Al will end up hating me if I stick around.

Still, I miss him the whole time I'm gone, and when I get back, I track Al down.  He's moved into a pretty nice house and gotten a real job by now.  I thought sure he wouldn’t even let me in, much less let me stick around.  But he does.  I don't plan on staying long, but I do.

I never thought I’d really fall in love, but I do.

That was 1962.  We got married earlier this year, 1964—it’s not legal, of course, but we said the vows and had witnesses and all. Far as I’m concerned, we’re married and no one can tell us any different.  And remember what I said about consequences, and one-night stands?  Turns out one of those consequences is named Maria.  She was born in 1959, but I didn’t know about her until 1961.  I didn’t meet her until a few months after Al and I tied the knot.  Maria’s mother had died, and in her will, she said she wanted me to raise the daughter I’d never met.  So Maria came to live with Al and me, and the two of them are the best consequences that ever happened to me.

Last night, Maria wanted Daddy (me) to tell her a bedtime story.  Papa (Al) tells better stories. (And Papa’s the one who bought her the cowgirl hat she begs to wear to bed every night, so I’m completely fine with Papa also being the one who puts her to bed and has to tell her she can't.)  But last night, she wanted me to tell her one instead, so I told her the myth about Lleu Llaw Gyffes.  I know, sounds like a pretty depressing bedtime story, and I did leave out some of the darker parts, but it has a happy ending: Lleu gets to be king in the end, even after everything he went through.

So later I kept thinking about that, how Lleu had such rotten luck but eventually things got better for him.  I guess that’s what happened to me.  I used to think I’d always turn everything to crap, that I’d only ever live the first part of Lleu’s story.  I’m still pretty abrasive and grouchy and selfish, but I’m not as bad as I used to be.  Not since I found someone who was good to me even when I didn’t deserve it, and he made me want to be good to him, too.  Before, I’d always made bad choices, but I finally starting choosing right when I chose Al.

I got a happy ending just like Lleu, except being with my husband and our daughter is way better than being a king, Midas or otherwise.  And I’m doing everything I can to make sure the three of us live happily ever after.

Pet Treasure

Lew Lew Bell

Rolling Stone

Flashback Wild One Cigarette

Well-Used Trousers

Beige Worn-Out Belt

Gray Striped Ruffle Knit Scarf

Gray Hand Knit Sweater

Fingerless Shinobi Gloves

Tired Plain Satchel


Fruit of Facial Hair

Bearded Snowball


An Ice Cube

A Melty Ice Cube

Frozen Matter

Freeze Cloud Sticker

Too Cold To Function Sticker

Ice Ice Burn Sticker

AHG Cold Hands Sticker

Scribble Feli Sticker

Not Moving Sticker

Music and Emotions

Folk Music Flyer

Busker Kit

Broken Record Player

Music Sheet

Unorganized Sheets of Music

Strange Music

Blank Composers Book

Boy Band Microphone

Microphone of The Voice


Bloodred Microphone

Red Microphone

Reborn Microphone

Blue Microphone

Dark Matter Microphone

Professor New HiFi Headphones

Just Some Boy Headphones


Guitar Strap

Guitar Plushie

Acoustic Guitar

Burnished Acoustic Guitar

Sunburst Acoustic Guitar

Spring Acoustic Guitar

Pink Acoustic Guitar


Basic Ukulele

Sunset Tie-Dye Ukulele

Sunburst Ukulele

Flowery Ukulele

Galaxy Ukulele


Gold Guitar Pick

Berry Guitar Pick

Spotted Guitar Pick

Turquoise Guitar Pick

Striped Guitar Pick

Guitar Picks




Lifetime Achievement Award

Book Of World Records

Musical Matter

Musical Note

Musical Fruit

Music Note Axe

Music 101

Music Theory Grade 1

Music Theory Grade 2

Music Theory Grade 3

Music Theory Grade 4

Music Theory Grade 5

Music Theory Grade 6

Music Theory Grade 7

Music Theory Grade 8

Beginning Rhyming

Intermediate Rhyming

Advanced Rhyming

MusiNews Issue 1

MusiNews Issue 2

MusiNews Issue 3

Not-So-Traditional Drinking Songs

Old Musical Tome

Melodys Songs for Beginners

Decrepit Keening Songbook

Remarkably Unremarkable Notebook

Cancelled Concerts

Book of Ticket Stubs

Muddy Flyer

Festival Litter

Trashy Bottle

Crumpled Paper

Garbage Fire Beanbag

Compost Happens Sticker

Honorable Mention Sticker

Wow Such Try Gold Star Sticker

Bad Luck Club Sticker

Schlemiel Sticker

Zero Days Without Incident Sticker

Many Regret Sticker

You Made It Sticker

Ballsy Sticker

The Only Way is Up Sticker

Still Kickin Sticker

High Sodium Sticker

Too Much Salt

I Hate You T-shirt

Emo Sign

Bite Me Heart Cookie

Emo Candy Heart

Never Heart Cookie

Oatmeal Does Not Approve Sticker

NO Storm Cloud Sticker

Gloomy Fruit



Grumpy Rooster

Sour Grapes

Impoverished Poltergeist




Grumpy Crab

Romantic Grumpy Bear Plushie

Cranky Corn Dog

Disgruntled Sausage Plushie

Grumpy Bendy Banana Toy

Porri Grump Plushie


Grump-Grump Plushie

Grumpy Lightning Sticker

Passive Aggressive Face Pumpkin Plushie

Passive Aggressive Face Pumpkin Sticker

Organ Luv Candy Appendix


Emo Raincloud

Blues Love Plushie

Drama Llama

Tragic Muse

Tragic Beanbag



Defect-Os Cereal

Unfortunate Cookie


The Horribly Bad Day!

We Almost Made It

The Mistakes We Make

I Kill Everything I Touch

Oops: A True Story

An Idiots Guide to Constructive Criticism

Boxed Set of Lessons Learned

Dealing with Hangovers

Poorly Thought Out Apology Note

IOU Slip

Tales of Angst Book Tape

The Lost and Found Book

Temporally Confused Book

Herding Cats

Red Rreign Statue

Red Rreign Toy

Yellow Daffodil

Wooden Spoon

Italian Textbook

Standard Pigeon Doll

Standard Pigeon Wing

Fairground Pest

Street Pigeon

Centropolis Pigeon

Pigit Sticker

Pigit Plushie

Pigit Tote Bag


Pigeon Boots

Realistic Souvenir Model Item Directory Building

City Skyline Umbrella

Centropolis Fairy Tales

A Guide to Downtown

Fun with History: Centropolis

Centropolis Travel Guide

Summer in Centropolis: The Official Companion

Centropolis Greeting Card

Centropolis Winter Souvenir Card

Centropolis Keychain

Centropolis Sticker

City Summer Sticker

Centropolis Souvenir Tank Top

Centropolis Collectible Stein

Centropolis Painted Ornament

Centropolis Souvenir Snow Globe

Expanding Centropolis Collector Pin

Ohno! Road Sign

Sibling Sticker

Parent Sticker

Peka-Boo KIP Sticker

I am Famous Sticky

I Dont Always Drink Sticker

Drunk and Drunker: An Alcohol Safety Guide

Your Pickle Could Get You in a Pickle

Do Not Cross Belt

Scrambled Eggs


Jam Sandwich

Cola Starpop

Milk Sticker

Sailor Cap

Something Light Colored Sofa

Pink Fluffy Sofa

Metal Sofa

Kumos Couch

Anyu Couch

Irion Couch

Aeanoid Couch

Dark Matter Sofa

Frozen Heart Snowball

Melting Snowball

Heart Repair Sticker

True Love

Fabulous Cowboy Sticker

Be My Love Rocket Candy Heart

Perfect Match Sticker

I do Sticker

Tied the Knot Sticker

Happily Ever After Sticker

Secrets to a Happy Marriage

Beloved Sweater Bath Bomb

Loving Yourself

Happy Songbird

2012 Singing Bird

Happy Songbirds

A Melodious Life

Romantic Arrangements

Lingerie for All

Retro Vacuum

Love 2 Cook Sticker

Dusty Old Recipes

Recipes Through Generations

Questionable Recipes

Kitchen Witch

Cooking with Gas

Bitten Cookbook

Yummy Tasty Book of Baking

Pumpkin Pie Recipes

Funnel Cake Cookbook

Pumpkin-Free Fall Recipes

Traditional Fireside Recipes

Simple Winter Recipes

Baba Yaga Traditional Recipe Book

Soup Secrets

A Guide to Gelatins

Uncommon Jams

100 Mugs of Cocoa

Hungry Pete Recipes: Spices

Guide to Canning


Pasta Primavera

Spaghetti with Meat Sauce

Spaghetti with Meatballs

Tagliatelle alla Carbonara

Spinach and Ricotta Cannelloni

Pesto Ravioli

Penne al Pomodoro

Linguine alle Vongole

Gnocchi with Sage and Butter

Fusilli Primavera

Fettuccine Alfredo

Lasagna Roll-Up Bite

Luminaire Lasagna


Forgotten Fanfiction

Incomplete Manuscripts

Fighter Pilot Rag Doll

Little Robin

Pet Friends

Al Cody
my displaced cowboy